When a brother stumbles – reach out a hand.

[DocParticipant]

FrostByte wrote:

DocDJ wrote:

FrostByte wrote:

DocDJ wrote:

Tell me – how do you know the difference between those who seek to manipulate and those who are simply crying out for help?

Regardless those crying for help and those seeking to manipulate need to realize as well that when men sit in a circle and discuss how they feel, how they perceive the world, how they think the world perceives them and ask other men what they think. They will hear things that help. They will hear things that hurt. If they are being deceitful or playing a role they will get called out for it. They will be challenged to defend their words.
It is the nature of most men to be honest in their words and their feelings. This means expect the good, the bad and the ugly.

To be able to call a man out means to be confident on his motives. How can you be so sure

You’re not sure that’s why you call out to learn their motives if they are suspicious to you.

So be gentle?

If a man is lying down on the battlefield and in agony – would you not be gentle?

So why can’t we be gentle with those who’s emotional pain is intolerable.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Its difficult to help a man through a computer. It would be easier if he was a daily acquaintance.

You start to see signs of a real threat to his mortality. The dude will have lacerations on him that he is hiding. Actual skin punctures from self harm which he attempts to hide. These are signs that any of the upcoming sprees he’s involved in could culminate in an actual suicide.

They usually always give away the fact that theyre self harming. And usually, as the case was with me, the final act is done in earshot or view of others. This is a very dangerous place to be as someone who wants to help. If you stop him from going far enough to actually make a mental break through then the behavior will continue to go on, but if you let him go too far, he will succeed in taking his own life.

Interesting thread we have here.

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

Doc-

Wow. I’m impressed. What a kind, compassionate post.
Men do hurt after a divorce rape or after a girlfriend/spouse runs off. Sometimes a guy just wants to bitch, and that is fine. Sometimes, after the emotions abate, a guy wants to look at what happened.
And that is fine also.
We almost have to provide what is needed at that particular time.
And it requires experience to do so.
But anyway, thanks for your post. I know you’ve helped people. Keep up the good work.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

You miss my point. I do agree we need to police our own responses.
However, I am pointing out you can’t place all the responsibility on the listener to respond correctly. What measure is the measure of a correct response anyway? I am saying responsibility is shared and belongs to the speaker as well. I do not control how someone chooses to interpret my words.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[DocParticipant]

Gravel Pit wrote:

Its difficult to help a man through a computer. It would be easier if he was a daily acquaintance.

You start to see signs of a real threat to his mortality. The dude will have lacerations on him that he is hiding. Actual skin punctures from self harm which he attempts to hide. These are signs that any of the upcoming sprees he’s involved in could culminate in an actual suicide.

They usually always give away the fact that theyre self harming. And usually, as the case was with me, the final act is done in earshot or view of others. This is a very dangerous place to be as someone who wants to help. If you stop him from going far enough to actually make a mental break through then the behavior will continue to go on, but if you let him go too far, he will succeed in taking his own life.

Interesting thread we have here.

Yes it is hard. So all a man has is his words. And when he expresses himself in his words we shoot him down with words.

It’s like handed them and a sharp knife after he cut himself instead of saying ‘let’s ho,d that knife while I dress those wounds’

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[Anonymous 14]

You truly are the House Doc Sir. A big Salute to you!

[DocParticipant]

Prefer Peace to Piece wrote:

Doc-

Wow. I’m impressed. What a kind, compassionate post.
Men do hurt after a divorce rape or after a girlfriend/spouse runs off. Sometimes a guy just wants to bitch, and that is fine. Sometimes, after the emotions abate, a guy wants to look at what happened.
And that is fine also.
We almost have to provide what is needed at that particular time.
And it requires experience to do so.
But anyway, thanks for your post. I know you’ve helped people. Keep up the good work.

Thank you brother. Respect to you.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[DocParticipant]

FrostByte wrote:

You miss my point. I do agree we need to police our own responses.
However, I am pointing out you can’t placing all the responsibility on the listener to respond correctly. What measure is the measure of a correct response anyway? I am saying responsibility is shared and belongs to the speaker as well. I do not control how someone chooses to interpret my words.

You are right FrostByte. The line is fine.
But you appear to sensitive to that so I am not faulting you.

It’s when we tell a man to snap out of his feelings, thoughts and desired behaviour that we fail.
I agree with you.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[DocParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

You truly are the House Doc Sir. A big Salute to you!

General you humble me my friend.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[Anonymous 54]

Anonymous wrote:

You truly are the House Doc Sir. A big Salute to you!

I dont know how he stays so patient with us! Hah
Poor Doc! Hah

[Anonymous 14]

Anonymous wrote:

General Kenobi wrote:

You truly are the House Doc Sir. A big Salute to you!

I dont know how he stays so patient with us! Hah
Poor Doc! Hah

🙂

[DocParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

General Kenobi wrote:

You truly are the House Doc Sir. A big Salute to you!

I dont know how he stays so patient with us! Hah
Poor Doc! Hah

Because I extend to the world a hand I would like back. That being the hand of patience. 👍
We are men. Imperfect. But men.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Doc wrote:

The line is fine.

The line is very fine. I would not want to be the cause of someones pain.
We as MGTOW are sensitive to being manipulated.
It is after all why we became MGTOW in the first place.
When some makes me feel they are manipulating me with victim-hood, I struggle with my reaction.
I don’t want to be sucked in and I don’t want to be callous either.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

When a brother stumbles – reach out a hand

I’m not saying don’t reach out a hand. I’m saying when you do make sure you have a firm footing. It is easier to be dragged into a hole that to drag someone out of one.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[DocParticipant]

FrostByte wrote:

DocDJ wrote:

The line is fine.

The line is very fine. I would not want to be the cause of someones pain.
We as MGTOW are sensitive to being manipulated.
It is after all why we became MGTOW in the first place.
When some makes me feel they are manipulating me with victim-hood, I struggle with my reaction.
I don’t want to be sucked in and I don’t want to be callous either.

That is entirely understanble. After what we have experienced we have a hair trigger for bulls~~~. But because of that if we see a brother display the behaviour we have suffered at the hands of we are suspicious.

But the behaviour is HUMAN – not exclusive to females – albeit they are the ones who use it more often. Men far less. But some genuine behaviours that are real cries for help -LOOK like the insidious bull we suffered so naturally our guard goes up.

But they ain’t the same behaviours. They just look the same.

I agree it’s hard. But we need to trust our brothers. Some will decieve but we need also ask why they deceive.

Is it because they feel that they can’t be honest with us. Seek the motive out. Not the behaviour alone.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[DocParticipant]

FrostByte wrote:

When a brother stumbles – reach out a hand

I’m not saying don’t reach out a hand. I’m saying when you do make sure you have a firm footing. It is easier to be dragged into a hole that to drag someone out of one.

I entirely agree.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Doc wrote:

DocDJ

Participant
4309
FrostByte wrote:
When a brother stumbles – reach out a hand

I’m not saying don’t reach out a hand. I’m saying when you do make sure you have a firm footing. It is easier to be dragged into a hole that to drag someone out of one.

I entirely agree.

You are good man for the job Doc.
We’re better for having you here.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Anonymous 54]

Is he gonna send us a bill?

I cant afford this!

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Doc wrote:

Seek the motive out. Not the behaviour alone.

I will take your advice to heart.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Anonymous wrote:

Is he gonna send us a bill?

I cant afford this!

You’ll be washing dishes the rest of your life.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Author]

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