Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › When a brother stumbles – reach out a hand.
This topic contains 138 replies, has 19 voices, and was last updated by 
harpo-my-“SON” 2 years, 1 month ago.
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I am not a psychologist, i believe none of us are. (?)
I am.
Well this place ought to keep you busy!!! Hahah
Ha ha. – I am here for all of you. 100%
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
Thwarting the potential self destructive behavior often has the opposite effect.
You’re just making my point for me. “Understanding of his pain” and “bring him back” is precisely what creates the opposite effect because the “self-destructive behavior” is itself a seeking out of others to reinforce a victim mentality which rationalizes continued laziness and inaction rather than encouragement by others to take responsibility for one’s life.
Of course it is more unpleasant to tell someone the truth. “I care about you enough to hurt your feelings” is what a mentor of mine used to say. Its also much easier to say what seems right but which is actually destructive, because it makes that person appear like a great noble person. But then that person should ask themselves “Am I in this to help this person? Or am I in this to pump myself up?” An example is someone kicking a family member out of their home because they won’t stop drinking excessively. Every professional will tell the family member that is the BEST thing to do, even though it seems uncaring. Why? Because it gives the person the best chance to wake up and realize “holy s~~~! I don’t have anyone who will validate my destructive habit. Now I MUST CHANGE. Ok Let’s do it!”
Anonymous12I don´t need a shrink!
getthef~~~awayfromme!One of the things i am wanting is a sort of MAP.
One that i can use and locate a fellow Redpill Bastard who is kneedeep in s~~~´or one foot in the grave.
so i can catch a train to that Dickhead and pull the Dickhead´s Head out of his own Ass.
I hear fresh air and some Wind can sweep away mental cobwebs that block the thinking processes.And then a Mirror.
A Mirror to look at oneself, one´s past, and one´s look ahead.
And more looking at oneself. Straight in the face, recognizing every scar and blemish, and somehow by magic find a way consciously take a step ahead. and another one.Thwarting the potential self destructive behavior often has the opposite effect.
You’re just making my point for me. “Understanding of his pain” and “bring him back” is precisely what creates the opposite effect because the “self-destructive behavior” is itself a seeking out of others to reinforce a victim mentality which rationalizes continued laziness and inaction rather than encouragement by others to take responsibility for one’s life.
I disagree. A man seeks comfort from pain. And that comfort may come from the self destructive behavior.
Flirting with suicide through wreckless behavior brings about a sense of control which can bring peace. Hence a bringing back from self destruction. To tell a man he shouldn’t means he more likely will because you invalidate his pain.Why should a man take responsibility for his life if he doesn’t even want his life?
The man does not have a victim mentality. From the outside looking in it may appear that way. To the sufferer they simply experience pain.
To call them a person with a victim mentality invilaidtes their pain.The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
I don´t need a shrink!
getthef~~~awayfromme!One of the things i am wanting is a sort of MAP.
One that i can use and locate a fellow Redpill Bastard who is kneedeep in s~~~´or one foot in the grave.
so i can catch a train to that Dickhead and pull the Dickhead´s Head out of his own Ass.
I hear fresh air and some Wind can sweep away mental cobwebs that block the thinking processes.Sure thing.
You do make me laugh.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
Some people want to wallow though, they languish, they almost enjoy the suffering and pain.
Guy I know has a saying.
Its wrong to take away peoples pain.Respect to Old Sage. As always. 👍
Always great to see your avatar on the board.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
Anonymous12If a man does not want his own life…
who is anyone other than him to take an influence and manipulate his desire to not live?If a Mghow wants to be dead, let him?
I mean…??That would be a shocker. But at the same time within the realms of the mindset: to end his life when and as he sees fit. In pain or in rational thinking.
Delicately and precisely -with refined words that do not invalidate the man.
That is called sugar coating it’s not a kick up the arse.
Whenever you try to sell anyone anything you create a picture in thier mind the best way to do it is with simple language.
http://www.leavemeansleave.eu
Delicately and precisely -with refined words that do not invalidate the man.
That is called sugar coating it’s not a kick up the arse.
Whenever you try to sell anyone anything you create a picture in thier mind the best way to do it is with simple language.
I totally agree. It seems to me we are saying the same thing. Nothing wrong in challenging their thoughts and behavior. It is all about HOW we challenge them.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
If a man does not want his own life…
who is anyone other than him to take an influence and manipulate his desire to not live?If a Mghow wants to be dead, let him?
I mean…??That would be a shocker. But at the same time within the realms of the mindset: to end his life when and as he sees fit. In pain or in rational thinking.
Exactly. So why tell him what he feels is bollocks?
Let him feel what he feels but let him recognise the value of his life.The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
Anonymous54So why does Christmas make so many people feel blue.
What would your perfect Christmas be.
Is it realistic.
Why should a man take responsibility for his life if he doesn’t even want his life?
He does he just doens’t want the life he has he wnat’s it to be different.
Making your life significantly different is rarely easy but with those who wont try …
http://www.leavemeansleave.eu
Thwarting the potential self destructive behavior often has the opposite effect.
You’re just making my point for me. “Understanding of his pain” and “bring him back” is precisely what creates the opposite effect because the “self-destructive behavior” is itself a seeking out of others to reinforce a victim mentality which rationalizes continued laziness and inaction rather than encouragement by others to take responsibility for one’s life.
Of course it is more unpleasant to tell someone the truth. “I care about you enough to hurt your feelings” is what a mentor of mine used to say. Its also much easier to say what seems right but which is actually destructive, because it makes that person appear like a great noble person. But then that person should ask themselves “Am I in this to help this person? Or am I in this to pump myself up?” An example is someone kicking a family member out of their home because they won’t stop drinking excessively. Every professional will tell the family member that is the BEST thing to do, even though it seems uncaring. Why? Because it gives the person the best chance to wake up and realize “holy s~~~! I don’t have anyone who will validate my destructive habit. Now I MUST CHANGE. Ok Let’s do it!”
I do accept what you are saying. Bit it more often than not goes the wrong way. But I do understand you. I just want you to know.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
So why does Christmas make so many people feel blue.
What would your perfect Christmas be.
Is it realistic.
It never lives up to expectations.
Go see Old Bills thread on Stoicism and the duality of reality. One reality – the real world. Second s
Reality – what it looks like to us and what we want it to look like.
Never can and never will live up to our expectations.I was gonna save this line for a new threa – us MGTOW can make Christmas as about as close to reality as can be. Because we don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but our own.
A perfect Christmas – to me – right now I – on Zoom with you guys in between the kids being here. And ex wifey coming and GOING .
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
Why should a man take responsibility for his life if he doesn’t even want his life?
He does he just doens’t want the life he has he wnat’s it to be different.
Making your life significantly different is rarely easy but with those who wont try …
Yes he wants it to be different. But in his mind he is in intolerable pain because he know it can’t be the way he wants. So he seeks the exit.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
Anonymous54So why does Christmas make so many people feel blue.
What would your perfect Christmas be.
Is it realistic.
It never lives up to expectations.
Go see Old Bills thread on Stoicism and the duality of reality. One reality – the real world. Second s
Reality – what it looks like to us and what we want it to look like.
Never can and never will live up to our expectations.I was gonna save this line for a new threa – us MGTOW can make Christmas as about as close to reality as can be. Because we don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but our own.
A perfect Christmas – to me – right now I – on Zoom with you guys in between the kids being here. And ex wifey coming and GOING .
Exactly!( I make a good strait man eh!)
Unrealistic expectations.
I just aim for a pleasnt day. Thats it. Easy.
A man seeks comfort from pain. And that comfort may come from the self destructive behavior.
Until the pain from the self-destructive behavior is worse than the pain he seeks comfort from. Only then will he stop the self-destructive behavior and seek help.
Hence why allowing him to experience the pain of his own self-destructive behavior is key. E.g. if a family member gets locked up for DUI, don’t bail them out, let them feel 100% of the pain from that, which may be what they need to stop drinking etc.
Flirting with suicide through wreckless behavior brings about a sense of control which can bring peace. Hence a bringing back from self destruction. To tell a man he shouldn’t means he more likely will because you invalidate his pain.
Lovely, now we’ve just bolstered attempting suicide as a means of achieving peace.
Why should a man take responsibility for his life if he doesn’t even want his life?
Why should a man take responsibility for his life? Because it is the antidote to him wanting his life back.
The man does not have a victim mentality. From the outside looking in it may appear that way. To the sufferer they simply experience pain. To call them a person with a victim mentality invilaidtes their pain.
So there is no such thing as someone who uses pain as a means to manipulate others? as a means to get attention? as a means to rationalize inaction?
To me the critical question is:
(A) is this a brother who genuinely wants help and is willing to change his thinking/actions?
or
(B) is this a brother who doesn’t genuinely want help but instead just wants others to validate his self-pity (poor me) and isn’t willing to change?
If its (A), engaging him will HELP him because he is actually willing to take suggestions and wants to change.
If its (B), engaging him will WORSEN him because validating his destructive thinking/actions merely delays him feeling the full weight and consequences of his thinking/actions
So why does Christmas make so many people feel blue.
What would your perfect Christmas be.
Is it realistic.
It never lives up to expectations.
Go see Old Bills thread on Stoicism and the duality of reality. One reality – the real world. Second s
Reality – what it looks like to us and what we want it to look like.
Never can and never will live up to our expectations.I was gonna save this line for a new threa – us MGTOW can make Christmas as about as close to reality as can be. Because we don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but our own.
A perfect Christmas – to me – right now I – on Zoom with you guys in between the kids being here. And ex wifey coming and GOING .
Exactly!( I make a good strait man eh!)
Unrealistic expectations.
I just aim for a pleasnt day. Thats it. Easy.
You do my friend. Truly.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius
http://www.leavemeansleave.eu
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