Mid 30's males – strange phenomenon I've noticed.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Listen to KM’s wisdom regarding contentment vs “happiness”. Men just need contentment.

Happiness is a byproduct of HEALTH.

Physical Health.
Relational Health.
Spiritual Health.

Note that you are in control of only one of the above — Spiritual Health. Both Physical and Relational health can be damaged or undermined by someone else.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

black_knight wrote:

It’s interesting to note that I also have 4 long term female friends, and none of them even have the capacity for depression. They’re always happy and just get on with life without resorting to narcotics or alcohol abuse. Weird, eh?

Oh don’t be so sure. That’s just how they WANT to be perceived by you. Check out the medicine cabinets of your bouncy & “happy” female friends and the labels will shock you.

A red -pill mindet is about a preference for truth no matter how painful the truth may be. A woman can waltz through her whole life unaware of her own SELF and without asking NEARLY as many hard/honest questions as you will.

Look at this lovely, pretty, bouncy young thing. Bright smile. Happy jokey lol!
https://thescene.com/watch/glamour/the-single-life-things-girls-say-to-test-men

…. she produced an “ANTHEM for single women” with mascara running down her face – and even her own music producer says she’s “bats~~~ crazy”.

Totally happy and fabulous in public. Crying at home eating cookies off her t~~~ while ladeling a gallon of ice-cream into her face, sitting on the kitchen floor with her best friend – a cat – next to the garbage can. She wrote that “anthem” for a reason.

So when you tell me your “happy” female friends “don’t have the capacity for depression”, I be laughing hard.

“I have never met a “happy” woman in my life”.
– Chris Rock

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[RorschachParticipant 2083]

black_knight wrote:

Me, 38: single, no kids, depressed, drink too much alcohol, don’t see much hope for myself, society, or the world. Even though I eat well, exercise, am fully employed on a reasonably good wage, and have 100% freedom.

Hope isnt something to chase. Lets face it society is f~~~ed and that in turn f~~~s the world. But you have the freedom and you dont have a marriage or kids. What do you want to do with yourself. Is there anything that you can spend your time doing that makes you feel satisfied besides booze? If not quit drinking and finding something else to get into. I dont suggest wasting the little time you do have left worrying about the world going down the crapper. There is life left for you if your willing to change your perception. Your actually in a very good position compared to so many that did get trapped. Do you realize what some of those guys would do to be in your position? If somehow you can see these things as the gift they are instead of something to bummed about I think your life will start to improve.

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

Keymaster wrote:

black_knight wrote:

It’s interesting to note that I also have 4 long term female friends, and none of them even have the capacity for depression. They’re always happy and just get on with life without resorting to narcotics or alcohol abuse. Weird, eh?

Oh don’t be so sure. That’s just how they WANT to be perceived by you. Check out the medicine cabinets of your bouncy & “happy” female friends and the labels will shock you.

A red -pill mindet is about a preference for truth no matter how painful the truth may be. A woman can waltz through her whole life unaware of her own SELF and without asking NEARLY as many hard/honest questions as you will.

Look at this lovely, pretty, bouncy young thing. Bright smile. Happy jokey lol!
https://thescene.com/watch/glamour/the-single-life-things-girls-say-to-test-men

…. she produced an “ANTHEM for single women” with mascara running down her face – and even her own music producer says she’s “bats~~~ crazy”.

Totally happy and fabulous in public. Crying at home eating cookies off her t~~~ while ladeling a gallon of ice-cream into her face, sitting on the kitchen floor with her best friend – a cat – next to the garbage can. She wrote that “anthem” for a reason.

So when you tell me your “happy” female friends “don’t have the capacity for depression”, I be laughing hard.

I have never met a “happy” woman in my life.

I made it to 40 seconds and it was like chalk screeching on a blackboard. Had to click it off man. I swear I’d last 5 minutes in her company at best.

My female friends get down, there’s no doubt in that, but on the whole I doubt they feel as bad as the males in my life. None of them seem half as deep as my male friends. They’re all a bit frivolous and susceptible to social media etc. None of them are ever solitary. They all find joy in things like Justin Timberlake videos, or Snapchat dog filters, etc.

[ResParticipant 542]

Maybe I’m derailing the thread a bit but I thought I would point out my perception of where this is going.

If your life feels lacking, fill it with meaning. Maybe that’s obvious, but what isn’t obvious is the definition of “meaning”. I have multiple hobbies that I enjoy, and I find that I enjoy them at different times. I’ve taken up photography, I’ve always enjoyed music, and I used to be active in amateur radio. Music is a solid past-time for me. There is endless new music to discover and it’s cheaper than ever to do so. There’s tons of good music for free on YouTube and Spotify and for the cost of a CD a month, you can get a service like Spotify premium. I’ve been starting to collect vinyl as money permits. I’ve also been wanting to collect movies. I’ve recently picked up a bunch of movies on LaserDisc and plan to pick up a LaserDisc player.

Photography is great because as you learn your skills improve. There’s also lots of technical detail that can suck you in like when to use what lens, which filters to use at different times of day. You can even get into niche things like film and if you have the space for it, set up your own dark room. I was most active in photography a few years ago back before I left Austin but I have some pictures from Orlando and a cruise I took as well. See here (WARNING: Some content not safe for work). I find my photography enjoyable both on a solo and social aspect. I regularly attended photography Meetups to get out of my apartment and it was a good way to meet new people and talk about cameras and lenses. It was also a great way to explore Texas and get out on some road trips I never would have otherwise got to do. Not to mention, I have pictures to remember it all by! The best kind of memories, not the negative thoughts that race through my head when I read the news, for example.

For me at least, I hope that, when my life becomes a bit more stable, that I can get back into photography and become active in amateur radio again. I’m trying to find new work so I can have money and buy new shiny toys! For me, that makes me happy, even if having a boat load of stuff to drag around when I move is expensive and time consuming.

And hey, there’s nothing wrong with getting s~~~ faced every now and then. Ya just gotta do it responsibly and for the right reasons. Try this: Instead of drowning yourself in Miller Light, hit up a classy cigar bar and try some good bourbon and a nice cigar. You’ll find (or at least I have) that after a while, you’ll get to know what you like and the anxiety and frustration will soon be replaced with something more positive. Do what you like and go your own way. That’s what it’s all about.

Mr. Boats: "'Avoid the reeking herd! Shun the polluted flock! Live like that stoic bird, the eagle of the rock!' You know what that means, son?" -American Splendor

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

If hanging out with depressed friends was bad for you why would they have group therapy?

My psychologist has called MGTOW.com my “group therapy”. I am not joking…I showed him some postings…lol.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[GnosticParticipant 2491]

black_knight wrote:

Man, I’ve tried. To absolutely no avail. They only got worse.

I’m able to pull myself out of it for a while, espcially if I go cold turkey on booze for 1 month. But invariably slip back when I get existentially bored.

If you can get bored, then your life is not as bad as your think.

I had read soldiers testimony that once they got away from the war, they will never complain about their boredom again.

Find some other passion to cure you of your boredom.

There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

Rorschach wrote:

Do you realize what some of those guys would do to be in your position?

Absolutely, of course I do. I’m in this position because marriage and kids always intuitively felt like the worse of two evils. So It’s no accident I’m in my advantageous position. Yet, my heart feels so down everyday. I can’t articulate it. Ever since I was a kid everything about life felt tedious, scripted, and depressing. Without intending to be too dramatic, I daydream about suicide every damn day of my life, and have for 10 years or more. I think I do so to cope, to remind myself there is a way out, and this always gives me relief.

I’ll give you one example of a typical experience:(and it’ll probably make people angry when they consider men died in trenches) but seeing the morning sun rise, and stream through my window feels wretched. I sense a terrible, ominous silence from it, a profound loneliness, and depression sets in, rendering me kind of unable to get on with anything. I can’t help being that sensitive. I just can’t. I wish I was the sort of person that never even perceive these things, and just see the sun as the sun, and then exhibit the socially accepted response of ‘being happy’ about it, and get on with my day, earning money, feeding my kids (if I had kids), paying the bills. But I can’t. I reflect abstractly on everything. EVERYTHING. I’m very tuned in to the minute details of things, and they provoke a lot of rich emotions and thoughts. It’s this absorption with my own mind, this tendancy for introversion, that is ultimately my downfall. Yet, it’s at once my default and my essence. I can’t escape it.

I’m very thankful to peoples’ advice to do what makes me happy, and get hobbys, and I do that. Not quite as forcefully as I should, but I do. I have a few goals and ideas and am working towards them.

From time to time I quit booze for a month. The effect is unbelievable. So I WILL begin another dry month as from Thursday.

I get a lot of exercise, and my diet is actually pretty good.

It’s the booze, I know it is.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

Res wrote:

I’ve taken up photography,

I got into that a few years ago. Got the DSLR, a few lenses, a basic studio set up – I enjoyed it for a while. Even got an article published in a truck magazine. I then stopped. But funny you should mention photography, because tomorrow I’m going to my parents’ house where my gear is stored, and am going through it and get into it again. I like doing portraits using natural daylight.

[trader1913Participant 1577]

Nature is very cruel because some men are given an inclination towards blue pill delusions.

I have met these men quite often in my life; when i have discussion with them they accept what i say as fact, but they do not want to admit it because it removes the magic of life for them. For some men it is easier to live life as a blue pill man than a red pill man because they are reliant on others. Their life would be destroyed by taking the red pill.

When someone gets negative emotion from red pill awakenings then i can be confident in saying that they feel betrayed or hung out to dry because they have a strong connection to other people.

I personally found red pill awakenings the shining light in my life; because i was a ‘natural’ red piller, i felt out of place in a world of people that took part in meaningless things for the sake of being normal.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

trader1913 wrote:

Nature is very cruel because some men are given an inclination towards blue pill delusions.

I have met these men quite often in my life; when i have discussion with them they accept what i say as fact, but they do not want to admit it because it removes the magic of life for them. For some men it is easier to live life as a blue pill man than a red pill man because they are reliant on others. Their life would be destroyed by taking the red pill.

When someone gets negative emotion from red pill awakenings then i can be confident in saying that they feel betrayed or hung out to dry because they have a strong connection to other people.

I personally found red pill awakenings the shining light in my life; because i was a ‘natural’ red piller, i felt out of place in a world of people that took part in meaningless things for the sake of being normal.

Interesting response, thank you.

I’ve mostly been blue pill ESPECIALLY regarding women, but when I reflect, my tendancy towards red pill thinking was definitely there as a child. For example, at 10 years old I categorically stated I was never getting married, because it made no logical sense, and my conviction only grew from there. I think I’ve been slowly swallowing the red pill since then. It’s only recently I took that last gulp of water that finally made it go down properly. I think I’m feeling the depression associated with a grief process (anger, bargaining, denial etc) at having to let go of all the blue pill thinking I once believed in. Especially women. Over the last 8 years I’ve also seen more of the truth pertaining to politics, wider society, power, money, human nature, and more. And recently it’s all come to a head, and hit me hard. Women were my last nugget of mystical (wishful?) thinking. And that’s now gone, thankfully. I know I’ll emerge wiser and stronger.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

black_knight wrote:

My female friends get down, there’s no doubt in that, but on the whole I doubt they feel as bad as the males in my life….

You can safely use “ignorance is bliss” as an explanation for that. Women love to fill every moment with social distractions and they are rarely seen alone with their own thoughts for extended periods. Too much of it is harmful too.

I once saw a movie where a classic “beta” male (Jude Law) said to the “alpha” male caveman (Clive Owen). . .

BETA: “Everyone wants to be happy”.

ALPHA: “Depressives don’t. If they were happy, they would have to go into the world and LIVE – which can be depressing.”.

The quote stuck with me ever since.
(although it applies to more clinical & severe cases)

•••

OldBill’s recommendation to GET BUSY is one of the best prescriptions. So busy that 27 hours a day is simply not enough.

My father could sit on the deck and unravel a fishing line for 4 hours. It drove my mother mental to watch. He was just alone with his thoughts … but he wasn’t “doing nothing”. He was always doing something with his hands, building or making something when he was off by himself. That’s actually when he was “happy”. Unraveling a fishing line for 4 hours sitting in the sun on the deck with a bottle of beer. Paradise he called it.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

Keymaster wrote:

Women … are rarely seen alone with their own thoughts for extended periods.

Touche to that. And it’s what’s always p~~~ed me off about women. I don’t know a single one that has, or can do that. I guess it doesn’t feed the kids or get the clothes clean.

[trader1913Participant 1577]

black_knight wrote:

Interesting response, thank you.

I’ve mostly been blue pill ESPECIALLY regarding women, but when I reflect, my tendancy towards red pill thinking was definitely there as a child. For example, at 10 years old I categorically stated I was never getting married, because it made no logical sense, and my conviction only grew from there. I think I’ve been slowly swallowing the red pill since then. It’s only recently I took that last gulp of water that finally made it go down properly. I think I’m feeling the depression associated with a grief process (anger, bargaining, denial etc) at having to let go of all the blue pill thinking I once believed in. Especially women. Over the last 8 years I’ve also seen more of the truth pertaining to politics, wider society, power, money, human nature, and more. And recently it’s all come to a head, and hit me hard. Women were my last nugget of mystical (wishful?) thinking. And that’s now gone, thankfully. I know I’ll emerge wiser and stronger.

I think you are a man of ideas. You believe that things ought to be rather than what they are. I used to be a man of ideas, but i am also a strong pragmatist, which meant my transition to the red pill was smooth. It also helped that in my job wishful thinking means you lose a lot of money.

Time will heal the wounds you have, time that you will have in much greater supply thanks to going MGTOW. Spend that time chasing your passions and if your passions have been exposed by the red pill then find new passions.

My pre and post red pill incarnations of myself are completely different people. I do not think i am different but this is what those around me have told me. You are embracing the process which is a good thing, there are many MGTOW that still cling to old ideas from their blue pill days and as a result struggle to be fulfilled in life, it is a difficult process but worth going through.

[OldBillParticipant]

black_knight wrote:

I got into that a few years ago.

Then drive over to your parent’s house, dig out that gear and get into again. Photographing outdoors in natural light means you’ll be busy physically and mentally.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

trader1913 wrote:

I think you are a man of ideas. You believe that things ought to be rather than what they are. I used to be a man of ideas, but i am also a strong pragmatist, which meant my transition to the red pill was smooth. It also helped that in my job wishful thinking means you lose a lot of money.

Nail. Head. Hit. I’ve always seen pragmatists as the enemy because pragmatism lacks romance, and I’ve alwways viewed the world through a dense romantic lens. Hence why I always hit rock bottom after a c~~~ would use me for her own ends and spit me out the other side. Pragmatists threatened me with what I perceived to be coldness. However, I now realise there is a time and place for romance, and I am attempting to relegate it to only those times and places.

trader1913 wrote:

there are many MGTOW that still cling to old ideas from their blue pill days

I half did, but I now realise that clinging to old blue pill ideas is like clinging to the amazement of magic tricks after the magician reveals the trick.

[Anonymous 1]

I can understand your depression. Many of my friends died off in their early twenties. Injecting Heroin and Crack is very popular in my area. Most of them died from overdosing on this combination. A few of my closer friends, like me, avoided hard drugs. Sadly, two of them committed suicide. One at 19, shot himself in the head. My other friend, I really liked because he was totally red pill, shot himself at the age of 25. My childhood friends I avoid like the plague. The last one I know lives in a Trailer park and already has totally f~~~ed his liver (at age 29) by drinking almost 3/5 to 1 gallon of cheap vodka a day since he was 15. My last good buddy I used to jam with just died last year, from Heroin overdose. Which reminds me of another child hood friend I had. Him and his Dad we’re sitting around shooting up heroin together (Father Son bonding). When his Dad woke up he found his Son dead and purple. Now I spend my time alone. No friends or pals to smoke or drink with anymore. But I brew all my own suds and I have a silent toast to the fallen. It feels like their all here with me all the time anyways.

Just letting you know, that you are not alone. Just Remember, suicide should always be put off until tomorrow. The only time procrastinating is a good thing. I’ve stayed alive this long and won’t say I haven’t thought about it. The more time goes on though, the more thankful I am to still be alive. I have some how managed to abuse substances without them abusing me…So far. 🙂

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

Anonymous wrote:

I can understand your depression. Many of my friends died off in their early twenties. Injecting Heroin and Crack is very popular in my area. Most of them died from overdosing on this combination. A few of my closer friends, like me, avoided hard drugs. Sadly, two of them committed suicide. One at 19, shot himself in the head. My other friend, I really liked because he was totally red pill, shot himself at the age of 25. My childhood friends I avoid like the plague. The last one I know lives in a Trailer park and already has totally f~~~ed his liver (at age 29) by drinking almost 3/5 to 1 gallon of cheap vodka a day since he was 15. My last good buddy I used to jam with just died last year, from Heroin overdose. Which reminds me of another child hood friend I had. Him and his Dad we’re sitting around shooting up heroin together (Father Son bonding). When his Dad woke up he found his Son dead and purple. Now I spend my time alone. No friends or pals to smoke or drink with anymore. But I brew all my own suds and I have a silent toast to the fallen. It feels like their all here with me all the time anyways.

Just letting you know, that you are not alone. Just Remember, suicide should always be put off until tomorrow. The only time procrastinating is a good thing. I’ve stayed alive this long and won’t say I haven’t thought about it. The more time goes on though, the more thankful I am to still be alive. I have some how managed to abuse substances without them abusing me…So far.

Thanks for your story man, you must live in a f~~~ing rough area to have experienced all that. I’ve known of the occasional young man’s death due to heroin, but they’re fairly vague and distant in my mind. All the addicts I know are still here and functioning. All the suicide attempters are also still here, just.

And as far as procrastination goes, I’ll start that tomorrow.

[Anonymous 1]

black_knight wrote:

Thanks for your story man, you must live in a f~~~ing rough area to have experienced all that.

The strange thing is the guys at work, who are my age, have the same exact stories pretty much. My story is very typical for the Rust-Belt Detroit area.

[CombatRollParticipant 2594]

You need to dry out. Going on a bender is fun at the start – but then the booze starts dragging you down – physically and mentally.

Get dry. Get fit/healthy and do some fun s~~~! Travel and if your buds don’t want to travel, give it a shot traveling somewhere cool by yourself. I’ve done it and its a blast.

Pick an exotic place, or somewhere in the hills or at the coast (not some flashy place like Vegas). Seek some quaint out-of-the-way spot with character.

You end up meeting new people – doing cool s~~~ and not worrying about if someone else is having fun.

[Author]

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