Mid 30's males – strange phenomenon I've noticed.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

Lately, I’ve been sliding into a horrible depression. I won’t go into the details though, but it’s related to my digestion of the red pill about the whole lie of society, not just women. I still socialise regularly with a few blokes from my youth, and one of those is in touch with a couple of others.

I’m noticing a pattern.

Every one of us is depressed as f~~~. Not just malcontent, but depressed.

Me, 38: single, no kids, depressed, drink too much alcohol, don’t see much hope for myself, society, or the world. Even though I eat well, exercise, am fully employed on a reasonably good wage, and have 100% freedom.

Mate 1, 36: unhapplly married, healthy child, depressed as f~~~, uses cociane, drinks far too much alcohol. Though he is running a small and increasingly successful business, and has a part time job.

Mate 2, 38: married (I think unhappily, not 100% sure), 2 healthy kids, unemployed, uses crack cocaine, drinks a lot of alcohol, has a range of mental health problems, depressed, various suicide attempts.

Old mate, 36: single, no kids, lives in a shared house, beyond depressed, p~~~es in bottles to avoid housemates, lost every friend he ever had, smokes a lot of weed and normal cigarettes, works full time in unfulfilling job.

Almost every single male I’m close to (or have been close to) is depressed as f~~~, and got that way not long after reaching 30. Is this just normal life? I remember seeing photos from the 20th century of old Russian men sat around looking defeated, drinking vodka, so maybe this really is as good as it gets, universally, across time and space.

Another lad I know, 24: extremely depressed, virtually homeless, on psychotic medication, unemployed, heavy weed smoker, 5 suicide attempts, virgin, highly complex, single, no kids.

My grandad was an abusive alcoholic, and deeply unhappy all his life. I don’t know any men that can say “I’m happy“.

[Anonymous 6]

Good grief. Your crew is in the doldrums. It appears that you have no hope. The fact is that all of y’all have each other, you have the opportunity to build each other up and to help each other become better versions of who they are now. Give it some thought. Also introduce them to this website, it might be a positive influence.

[Anonymous 0]

My mid-30s were half a lifetime ago, but I drank too much, snorted coke, smoked weed, smoked cigarettes. I don’t remember if I was depressed or not. Too f~~~ed up all the time I guess. I pulled out of it eventually.

Oh yeah, just remembered. My wake up call was when my f~~~ing COKE DEALER told me I had a substance abuse problem. Go figure.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

black_knight wrote:

the whole lie of society

And that is why we are depressed. Society has blue pilled us so badly that we feel the need to conform or else something is wrong with us. That is not right. Nothing is wrong with us because we did not conform. The more I read on MGTOW the better I feel because I see that I am not alone and that pressure from society is bulls~~~. That said; the 30’s are the age when it hit home for me. I realized that a woman and family was out of the question this led to great depression. I discovered going my own way and now I realize my lifestyle is not deplorable as I had been told.

Let me end by saying that time passing will help. This is only temporary. Godspeed brother.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

Anonymous wrote:

Good grief. Your crew is in the doldrums. It appears that you have no hope. The fact is that all of y’all have each other, you have the opportunity to build each other up and to help each other become better versions of who they are now. Give it some thought. Also introduce them to this website, it might be a positive influence.

Man, I’ve tried. To absolutely no avail. They only got worse.

I’m able to pull myself out of it for a while, espcially if I go cold turkey on booze for 1 month. But invariably slip back when I get existentially bored.

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

Unfortunately I think this is very common when mencome to the great “is this as good as it gets?” Question. Generally in our thirties when we realize too late the great lies of this gynocentric society. It’s hard being a man and coming to the moment of looking into the abyss and coming to the stark realization that it’s mostly bulls~~~ and we have to find our own meaning and contentment.

And that quest for peace and contentment is the real challenge isn’t it?

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

I have had serious depression and the biggest concern is suicide. It is clear that serious risk of suicide begins around age 40-44 and peaks around age 45-49.

So help your friends. Look for professional help. We all like to rail against anti-depressents but they save lives. Consider all your options.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[Anonymous 3]

For you, the problems are probably your friends and the alcohol.

For your friends, it’s that they’re, as society puts it, “losers”. Most men are going to end up as “losers” because the system is rigged, and it breaks most men eventually. They broke, and now they’re mostly depressed drug users.

To save yourself, you should really find a better circle, but that’s tough with age, so I dunno.

I had an MGTOW acquaintance in the UK, where I assume you are, and he left because he hated it so much. I lost contact with him, and I hope he is okay, but he seemed to be really looking forward to leaving. The UK is a in a really bad spot. I think UK and Japan are ahead of the rest of the world in MGTOW because their societies are more misandrist and gynocentric than others, so things are on an accelerated timeline.

There’s really not much that can be said or written to fix it. Just gotta gut through it and deal. Most men in Western societies that are intelligent, I think they have to deal with depression at some point. I did myself and I’d seen older men than me deal with it too. It’s normal only in that this is the world we are in.

[Anonymous 0]

Finding the right AA group helped a lot. They’re out there, but most groups I went to sucked until I finally found a good one. Men only group too. How bout that s~~~. Later I switched to faith based addiction meetings. Finally, rekindled my faith in Christ as I had been taught as a young child.

[black_knightParticipant 2602]

MarketWatcher wrote:

That said; the 30’s are the age when it hit home for me. I realized that a woman and family was out of the question this led to great depression.

For me, this is partially underpinning my depressioin.

I’ve suffered from acutely felt lonliness since I was about 3 years old – I could never mix, or join in with the accepted norms of group dynamics. Knowing I definitely won’t have any family once my ageing parents die (except a sister I’m not that close to) really hit hard. It’s as if having a family of my own, and not having one are both evils in their own right, but one is a lesser evil than the other. I’m imagining the next 40 years getting more and more isolated as an old man, ending up in a care home, alone with indifferent nurses, and getting more and more depressed. But this is just my depression. Others are in a completely different situation, but are still f~~~ing down.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Brother….I have given this advice to another brother who was going through depression and of course it is not a magic solution:

Remember that you, and other brothers on this site, have a RARE gift. A gift which allows us to see the BIG picture. I would rather see the big picture than realise at the end of the day, at old age, that everything is a lie. We will always go through ups and downs, no matter what.

I myself do not drink any alcohol, which keeps my mind and head clear. If it is affecting you too much, please try your best to manage it such that it is no longer a ruler in your life. I also focus my energy on my passion in Electronics Engineering. The main reason why is because I am fascinated by learning. I am not learning for the prime reason such that I will become “rich” one day. I love exercising my mind with a complex and fascinating field. Brother, I know it is easy said than done, but find something to replace certain aspects in your current lifestyle that you wish to transform.

As with being alone, I have trained my mind to actually enjoy it. No, I am not perfect myself. But when my mind is still, I can truly be at peace. Please watch this video, when you are relaxed: It’s about being the “observer”…just observe what is going on and try your best not to judge yourself…let your thoughts flow in and out of your mind. Over time these intrusive thoughts become so weak.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[Anonymous 1]

Focus on yourself and your health. Get off the booze and get busy with hobbies. Try new things.

Stop giving a f~~~ about society. Worry about the things you can change in your own life and help your friends as well.

[WallyParticipant]

Once you go your own way it’s not an automatic transition from the blue pill to red pill at least not for me. The mind says one thing the body the opposite, shock, anger, sadness, bargaining, acceptance, peace. Conditioning takes a long time to overcome, replacing that want for a NAWALT unicorn and blue pill life with something else is essential.

Fall down 7 times stand up 8, it’s a process, keep trying, you may struggle again and again but at at some point you will break through.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[CG27Participant 302]

In your opinion, what is it you think makes your depressed? Is it down to the “whole lie of society” as you put it? Or do you think there is more to it than that? It’s important for you to try and figure out why you think you’re feeling depressed if you want to have any hope of improving your situation

I sympathise with your situation though and can imagine being depressed and being around a bunch of other friends who are depressed can’t make the situation any easier.

The single biggest threat to your happiness is women and the only way to win is to not play the game

[AsceticmonkParticipant 846]

all treasure, reward, inheritance, fulfillment and relief is uLtimately and only fully realized in Christ.

Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. – Psalm 16:11

[BeerParticipant 11832]

MarketWatcher wrote:

That said; the 30’s are the age when it hit home for me. I realized that a woman and family was out of the question this led to great depression. I discovered going my own way and now I realize my lifestyle is not deplorable as I had been told.

This is how it was for me. For a while in my 20s I thought it was me that was f~~~ed up because I couldn’t find a normal girl, and as I approached 30 I felt like a failure because although I had a few girlfriends over the years, I never really had any wife prospects.

Fast forward a few years and some red pills and I just think f~~~ it…I have it pretty good. Over the years I’ve taken care of myself physically and I’m doing well financially…what do I have to really complain about? People in the middle east are getting woken up to nerve gas blowing in their front door or kill squads hanging their neighbor because of something he might have said and I think I have it bad because I’m single? Most the married guys I know have either been divorce raped or are f~~~ing miserable dealing with a miserable c~~~ 24/7 and I have it bad because I’m single? Hell no, I’m winning.

When I look at my life I really have no stress, no drama, no bulls~~~, and compared to the standard of living most people in the world are accustomed to mine is pretty god damn high. I think a lot of people, rather than looking at all the positives, just let a few negatives drag them down. I could sit around all depressed I haven’t found my unicorn, or I could be happy as f~~~ I’ve never gotten divorce raped. I could get all depressed I don’t have kids, or be happy as f~~~ I’m not stuck paying child support until I’m in my 50s. I could get upset I’m single, or I could enjoy having complete control over my finances, my future, and being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I could get depressed I don’t get as much sex as I want, or I could just realize most women aren’t worth my effort and if I want sex that bad I can more than afford to go on several sex vacations abroad and just get prostitutes if I want without having to deal with a gf and all the bulls~~~ and drama that comes with them.

Maybe my life didn’t turn out like I thought it would if you asked me what I’d be like in my 30s when I was 18, but looking at how my life turned out I have very little room for complaints.

[Anonymous 1]

I love my mgtow life. All I have to do is think back to the days when I didn’t want to go home. And that takes care of any depression. That and a dog that loves it when I walk thru the door helps also.

[narwhalParticipant]

I agree with the others. Get help, most likely medication. Try and spend less and less time with your mates, as they are inadvertently making it easier for you to stay depressed.

Try some hobbies, anything. Build something, anything. You’ll start developing some goals, and it doesn’t really matter if the results are meaningless. It’s getting there that matters.

One mental trick I use from time to time is trying to recognize the difference between depression and sadness. Sadness is really, so grief when you are sad. Depression…is not real relatively speaking. You can ignore it a way and go about your day. There could be something worthwhile that day that you’d miss.

As far as life having meaning without a family and kids, I think about that somewhat for when my kids are grown. I’ll figure it out when that happens. It certainly beats being a slave to a woman’s whims.

Ok. Then do it.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

black_knight wrote:

I’ve suffered from acutely felt lonliness since I was about 3 years old – I could never mix, or join in with the accepted norms of group dynamics. Knowing I definitely won’t have any family once my ageing parents die (except a sister I’m not that close to) really hit hard. It’s as if having a family of my own, and not having one are both evils in their own right, but one is a lesser evil than the other. I’m imagining the next 40 years getting more and more isolated as an old man, ending up in a care home, alone with indifferent nurses, and getting more and more depressed. But this is just my depression. Others are in a completely different situation, but are still f~~~ing down.

This hit home for me. Very similar situation here. The good news is everyone dies alone, so don’t buy into that die alone bulls~~~.

[GregB0Participant]

Anonymous wrote:

The fact is that all of y’all have each other, you have the opportunity to build each other up and to help each other become better versions of who they are now

While your friends all have their issues, they at least know you very well and the circumstances that you are going through. The same can be said about each of them, including yourself. Include them as much as possible within any intervention that you try as they will be part of the process regardless.

Having said the above, you do need to seek professional substance abuse intervention as suggested by Puffin-stuff. They will be able to offer some assistance is recognizing those factors that you need to address to stop your habits.

MarketWatcher wrote:

Society has blue pilled us so badly that we feel the need to conform or else something is wrong with us. That is not right. Nothing is wrong with us because we did not conform.

We absolutely do not need to conform, we need to only do that which allows us to coexist with society while we walk our own path.

black_knight wrote:

But invariably slip back when I get existentially bored.

The next time you are bored, mark a thread for Faust for Science, OldBill, Tower, Phoenix, Beer, Market~~~cher, Blade, Travis3000 or any of the contributors to this current thread. The MGTOW community by default is made up of individuals all looking at the universe and our expression of free will.

Best of luck and know that you have 25,000 + contacts to ask for help from.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

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