Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › Mid 30's males – strange phenomenon I've noticed.
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Anonymous 2 years, 7 months ago.
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And the problem is:
They have not taken responsibility to create their own antidepressant.
Life gives us all of the tools we need to create the life we want.I’m hanging out with my antidepressant right now. He is a 9lb, Maltese. When he is around, nothing can bring me down.
I’m waiting for clouds to clear up at a drop zone, sitting at the end of a landing field enjoying a Monster Java. Grateful for my limbs, eyes and overall health.
And I just got high a few minutes ago. Not from drugs but from my own power surge when I got a text from a gorgeous slut that I jumped with last weekend. I knew who it was but responded ‘Who is this?’ And she reminded me and asked if I wanted to hang out later, and I said I’m really tired and need to go to sleep early tonight.
Her freak out episode when she called right away was all I needed to feel good today. Cupcake isn’t use to guys turning down her presence.
And ‘today I didn’t even have to use my AK. I gotta say it was a good day.’
I had an MGTOW acquaintance in the UK, where I assume you are, and he left because he hated it so much. I lost contact with him, and I hope he is okay, but he seemed to be really looking forward to leaving. The UK is a in a really bad spot. I think UK and Japan are ahead of the rest of the world in MGTOW because their societies are more misandrist and gynocentric than others, so things are on an accelerated timeline.
I’m also a Brit, and have learned to keep my head down. I can get away with dropping Red Pills now and then at work, but only because I’m seen as the office joker so not taken seriously. It’s come to the point I want to emmigrate to the states and one of the Brothers is trying to help me find work in advance. I was seriously depressed for a long time but that was accelerated by berevement. I now feel more stable and at ease with myself, but still have some resentment against the society that tricked me so badly for over half my life.
I have come to the conclusion that if I need alchohol, Nicotine, amphetamine, or validation through Hook Up sex, then something is missing from my life.
I won’t find out what I’m missing until I leave my comfort zone.
I hope to be living in a Red state before too long.
And I intend to be armed.
It's Time to get Wise
I hope to be living in a Red state before too long.
And I intend to be armed.Come on home brother.
I have come to the conclusion that if I need alchohol, Nicotine, amphetamine, or validation through Hook Up sex, then something is missing from my life
Good conclusion!
I’m 36 and still friends with most of my close friends from high school. And most of my “work friends” are also men in their mid 30’s to early 40’s.
I’m on the low spectrum of career success among them but it seems we’ve all been in a funk for awhile.
If I had a guess it’s related to working white collar jobs that we hate. These jobs have the combination of stress, boredom, long hours, and require low physical exertion.
Maybe we’re starting to understand the depressing reality that this is what our lives are going to be for another 20-30 years. That’s if we’re lucky.
I consider myself to be the only MGTOW in the group. I hope I can get out a little earlier with smart investing and a modest lifestyle. I couldn’t even imagine how bad my mindset would be if I had to support a parasitic women and a couple kids.
drink too much alcohol
That’s one of the problems right there.
I can’t define what happiness is for you and other guys, but I do know that life can be more meaningful if you have some goals that are important for YOU (and only you) to accomplish. And when you survive this state of depression, you can find joy in helping others to overcome it. Best wishes to you and your mates.
"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)
In your opinion, what is it you think makes your depressed? Is it down to the “whole lie of society” as you put it? Or do you think there is more to it than that? It’s important for you to try and figure out why you think you’re feeling depressed if you want to have any hope of improving your situation
I sympathise with your situation though and can imagine being depressed and being around a bunch of other friends who are depressed can’t make the situation any easier.
Thank you brothers, your answers are coming too quickly for me to answer them all (now I know what women feel like on POF lol).
But CG 27, what do I think it is?
In summary, ever since I was a child, I always had an independent mind. Through my 20s I had an existential crisis and went to the millionth degree of philosophical thinking and emerged a nihilist, and an absurdist. I felt that any meaning derived from anything was simply futile, transient, and absurd.
I realised everything we do, every desire we have, and every dream we chase is dictated and manufactured by society, and connects with a wider, species-wide , collective and individual unconscious instinct to pro-create, and survive (however symbolically it is played out). Period. I realised humans are really just the empty vessels which carry genes, and human behaviour is genetic expression manifesting. I like to think of this view as a gene’s eye’s view, and for me everything makes sense when I apply this view to real-world phenomena. Therefore, I felt ‘human’ is an ideological and privileged abstract we arrogantly apply to ourselves, and that we don’t matter one jot. Not to any potential God, not to each other (except as a temporary utility/resource for survival/ passing on genes), and not even to ourselves – hence our drive to destruction (booze, drugs, suicide, etc) as well as survival.
Now I understand it all in these terms, and I see from a red pill position the lies of women, governments, friendships, corporations, wars, surveillance, and so on, I feel myself looking back at one massive, massive blue pill misunderstanding of everything I ever believed in, and valued.
This is such a massive issue for me, it’d take me 100 pages detail everything that’s wrong.But as an example, just the tendency to see the Kim Kardashian aesthetic in 95% of selfies define an entire cultural ideal for an entire generation of young girls, who ALL aspire to it, is so indescribably depressing. I’ve don’t have powerful enough words. That’s without even analysing the phenomenon of selfie in itself.
Another detail, Snapchat and Facebook tagging… don’t the vast majority of the masses realise it’s an ingenious way for the overlords to move us to submit images of ourselves en masse so they can be mass analysed for facial recognition? This is beyond dystopian totalitarianism. This one small facet of truth is indescribably depressing in itself. And yet there they are, millions of people walking down the street literally taking selfies of themselves as they’re walking. It’s just so so depressing and disturbing how mindless people are.
Man, how did I go from “why are mid 30s males depressed” to “selfies are part of the totalitarian state” all in one page? I guess that’s what lies at the heart of it. I don’t recognise people anymore. I just see robotic, mallable non-people, and this is why I feel massively isolated,
and…………depressed.Lately, I’ve been sliding into a horrible depression.
The Black Dog and I are very old friends. He and I have tangled for decades and will continue to do so until I die.
Here’s my advice:
Cut out the booze – Stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant. In the short term, booze gets you buzzed and helps numb you to your problems. In the long, booze makes you more depressed. This doesn’t mean you can never drink again, it just means you need to avoid it for now.
Get physical – You don’t need to run marathons, swim the Channel, or start competitive body building. You do need to do something physical every day. It could be as simple as taking a walk, but do something for at least 30 minutes every day.
Exercise your mind – Study something, take up a new hobby, crack open that book you’ve been meaning to read but never do. As with physical activity, you don’t need to write a concerto, learn Swahili, or build scale model of the Paris sewer system, but do something for your mind every day.
Lose your depressed friends – Sounds harsh, but like crabs in a bucket they’re keeping you down. Especially the ones medicating themselves with booze and even more so the ones involved with drugs. Ditch them or, at the very least, limit your contacts until you feel better and can better resist their bad examples.
Losing your depressed friends doesn’t mean becoming a hermit, however. Man is a social creature and solitary confinement is a punishment in every culture. You need to engage with life and just not hole up in your rooms. Even if it’s just a pint somewhere or watching a match or eating in a restaurant, get out into the world.
Learn to let go – You mention that you “… don’t see much hope for myself, society, or the world.” The truth of the matter is you’ve only limited control over yourself and none whatsoever over society and the world. Society and the world are not your problem. All you can do is help yourself. You need to learn not to care about the rest.
You, me, and all the rest of us ran out of f~~~s to give a long time ago. The fact that you still want to give a f~~~ despite having no f~~~s left to give is one of the reasons you’re depressed.
Stop caring enough to care and actively cultivate the ZFG mindset.
Professional help – Whether you need it or not is entirely up to you. The fact that you already suspect you’re becoming more depressed suggests to me that you should try and reverse the progression on your own with lifestyle changes first and only look into therapy and meds later.
Good luck. Remember, you’re not alone in having either a depressed mood or depression.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
I don’t know any men that can say “I’m happy“.
Me: 51. Never Married. Never will. Just got back from Costa Rica surfing. Will be in Philippines in Jan, 2018 doing the same thing. Ride motorcycles, play guitars, fly the drone, photography hobby, manage my business — LOVE my work.
I’m very happy.
When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
Almost every single male I’m close to (or have been close to) is depressed as f~~~, and got that way not long after reaching 30. Is this just normal life?
I think if you talk to some men over +50 you’ll find they are much more content than they were at 35. If you’re 35, that’s another 15 years — which is about as long at it took to get from 20 to 35.
This is why I will always maintain men don’t really give a f~~~ about chasing “happiness” because – for a man – “happiness” is being content. I couldn’t believe that more passionately. A man is actually doing rather well when he has little to complain about. He made it home in one piece. No major disasters to fix. That’s a “good day” for a man. Maintaining an even strain is the “base” and already enough of a struggle.
… whereas a woman LOOKS for s~~~ to complain about.
Women will even cultivate & create unhappiness and discontentment when there is nothing really wrong.Sure I’m generalizing with broad statements, but am I wrong?
I don’t think so when I listen to testimony and look around.so maybe this really is as good as it gets
I know what you mean — and asked myself the same question at 35!!! — but I disagree today, and wish someone put their hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eye and said “Just keep going. It gets better”.
universally, across time and space.
Across time and space…. 35 is nothing.
I don’t know any men that can say “I’m happy“.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about.
Chasing “happy” is a dangerous trap, and IMHO, the first & best way to be miserable.I’m not “happy” either….. but I don’t really give a s~~~, because I see real value in being content. I just had a great lunch with a friend and we laughed and joked until we had to wipe our eyes. Every time we get together, we laugh our heads off. Does that mean I’m “happy”? Or is it just a nice bonus.
Me: 51. . . . . I’m very happy.
And there you go. That’s one.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.I’m not “happy” either….. but I don’t give a s~~~, because I see real value in being content.
Now THAT is a sig worthy quote!
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
universally, across time and space.
Across time and space…. 35 is nothing.
I meant across cultures and centuries. As if it’s a universal human trait within the human condition.
I meant across cultures and centuries. As if it’s a universal human trait within the human condition.
I know what you meant of course, and I doubt you can’t break free from anything like that. I see a guy who has more than I have and I think he’s probably happier, but am I right? One of the most miserable f~~~s I ever met was a millionaire who lived in a house on a hill. The miserable f~~~ can see the positive in NOTHING.
I would say “I’m looking forward to going for a hike after work” and he would say “that park smells like dog s~~~”. Not kidding.
“Is this as good as it gets?” is a reasonable question.
Now ask yourself: is your life – the way it is right now – as S~~~TY as it could get???
Then perhaps these guys are not as “depressed as f~~~” as they think.We have to clearly know how good we have it – and compare it to how s~~~ty we have it.
Reflect on it honestly.To this day, my mother sits down with a tea and a piece of cake and before she sticks her fork in it, she always takes a few seconds to look out the window and says “Ach, haben wir es gut”. German for “boy, do we ever have it good”. She says it all the time.
Whether you’re religious or not, “say grace” once in a while.
It’s not a challenge. I just think of a bunch of 18 year old men who fought for my basic liberties and were jammed into a tin can already knowing the second the doors opened they would be riddled with bullets without even getting one shot at the enemy.
I get “happy” pretty fast.
To be clear, NO we should not be “grateful” for not being shipped off to slaughter.
But it puts modern “depression” in some perspective.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.
Anonymous13Lately, I’ve been sliding into a horrible depression.
The Black Dog and I are very old friends. He and I have tangled for decades and will continue to do so until I die.
Here’s my advice:
Cut out the booze – Stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant. In the short term, booze gets you buzzed and helps numb you to your problems. In the long, booze makes you more depressed. This doesn’t mean you can never drink again, it just means you need to avoid it for now.
Get physical – You don’t need to run marathons, swim the Channel, or start competitive body building. You do need to do something physical every day. It could be as simple as taking a walk, but do something for at least 30 minutes every day.
Exercise your mind – Study something, take up a new hobby, crack open that book you’ve been meaning to read but never do. As with physical activity, you don’t need to write a concerto, learn Swahili, or build scale model of the Paris sewer system, but do something for your mind every day.
Lose your depressed friends – Sounds harsh, but like crabs in a bucket they’re keeping you down. Especially the ones medicating themselves with booze and even more so the ones involved with drugs. Ditch them or, at the very least, limit your contacts until you feel better and can better resist their bad examples.
Losing your depressed friends doesn’t mean becoming a hermit, however. Man is a social creature and solitary confinement is a punishment in every culture. You need to engage with life and just not hole up in your rooms. Even if it’s just a pint somewhere or watching a match or eating in a restaurant, get out into the world.
Learn to let go – You mention that you “… don’t see much hope for myself, society, or the world.” The truth of the matter is you’ve only limited control over yourself and none whatsoever over society and the world. Society and the world are not your problem. All you can do is help yourself. You need to learn not to care about the rest.
You, me, and all the rest of us ran out of f~~~s to give a long time ago. The fact that you still want to give a f~~~ despite having no f~~~s left to give is one of the reasons you’re depressed.
Stop caring enough to care and actively cultivate the ZFG mindset.
Professional help – Whether you need it or not is entirely up to you. The fact that you already suspect you’re becoming more depressed suggests to me that you should try and reverse the progression on your own with lifestyle changes first and only look into therapy and meds later.
Good luck. Remember, you’re not alone in having either a depressed mood or depression.
What Old Bill said.
Seriously read the above several times.
As for me, lost it all and been to hell and back.
For some reason I’m strangely very CONTENT.
I’ve got my well being back.
I’m in my 50’s and MUCH ‘happier’ than I was in my 30’s.
I don’t know man, I’m just somehow more together, you know, more at peace.
MORE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE.
Life is GOOD.
Lately, I’ve been sliding into a horrible depression. I won’t go into the details though, but it’s related to my digestion of the red pill about the whole lie of society, not just women. I still socialise regularly with a few blokes from my youth, and one of those is in touch with a couple of others.
I’m noticing a pattern.
Every one of us is depressed as f~~~. Not just malcontent, but depressed.
Me, 38: single, no kids, depressed, drink too much alcohol, don’t see much hope for myself, society, or the world. Even though I eat well, exercise, am fully employed on a reasonably good wage, and have 100% freedom.
Mate 1, 36: unhapplly married, healthy child, depressed as f~~~, uses cociane, drinks far too much alcohol. Though he is running a small and increasingly successful business, and has a part time job.
Mate 2, 38: married (I think unhappily, not 100% sure), 2 healthy kids, unemployed, uses crack cocaine, drinks a lot of alcohol, has a range of mental health problems, depressed, various suicide attempts.
Old mate, 36: single, no kids, lives in a shared house, beyond depressed, p~~~es in bottles to avoid housemates, lost every friend he ever had, smokes a lot of weed and normal cigarettes, works full time in unfulfilling job.
Almost every single male I’m close to (or have been close to) is depressed as f~~~, and got that way not long after reaching 30. Is this just normal life? I remember seeing photos from the 20th century of old Russian men sat around looking defeated, drinking vodka, so maybe this really is as good as it gets, universally, across time and space.
Another lad I know, 24: extremely depressed, virtually homeless, on psychotic medication, unemployed, heavy weed smoker, 5 suicide attempts, virgin, highly complex, single, no kids.
My grandad was an abusive alcoholic, and deeply unhappy all his life. I don’t know any men that can say “I’m happy“.
Are you British or EU? If so I understand your depression. You are watching leftists completely obliterate your culture. Smoke em if ya got em cause you’re all TOAST. Sorry but it’s a red pill truth.
Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
This is why I will always maintain men don’t really give a f~~~ about chasing “happiness” because – for a man – “happiness” is being content.
Im in my mid 30s too and this is the whole point why I am depressed…I have been “chasing” happiness as “happiness” defined by society…I was seeking validation from my wife and from society that i am “happy”…NO…We validate ourselves…I paraphrase a common story….Can a Man be happy if no one is around to see it?…(from the tree falling in forest making a sound..)
We have been so conditioned by society that to be happy, we should put women and society first…That is what our senior brothers found out later in life…Live in the moment and do what makes you productive for your own benefit…Dont seek happiness…It will come to you when you recreate yourself…You can start as some brothers advise by limiting contact with people that get you down, get a dog and do physical activity… and fix stuff in your house…Be proud of your accomplishment and dont seek validation from other people for a job well done..Know that “YOU” made a job “Well done”…I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...
Hang in there my man, it does get better. Im in my early 50’s now. I now have experience, wisdom and knowledge I did not possess in my 30’s or 40’s. I also have taken care of myself so have energy as well.
My experience is this:
Get sober. (Men’s only AA meetings have worked well for me)
Get physically active.
Find something you enjoy doing and do it. Have some fun.
Key for me has been helping other men.Really its been about taking care of myself so that I can help other men. It is empowering, rewarding and energizing.
It is not easy or quick, it is a journey. Keep sharing and baring your soul here. The men here care about you and will provide support (sometimes it may look like a kick in the ass but if you look close you can see the love behind it.)
"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher
Are you British or EU? If so I understand your depression. You are watching leftists completely obliterate your culture. Smoke em if ya got em cause you’re all TOAST. Sorry but it’s a red pill truth.
I’m British, and yes, the political and cultural climate at the minute is definitely adding to it all.
Thanks to everybody. I simply cannot reply to everybody, but each and every post has offered me insight and food for thought.
Have some fun.
This is perhaps one of the most fundamental points. Ever since I was a toddler, I’ve not known how to have fun. I’ve always been this really introverted, deep thinking, serious, truth seeking person who cannot, and will not let myself go. I’ve got a sense of humour, and I have had sublime moments regarding art, music, philosophy, and poetry, but I’ve never once used the word fun to describe any times in my life. Whenever I get close to what I imagine most would describe as fun, I find myself intensely bored and I suddenly feel very childish and frivilous, so I move away to the sidelines and just observe others. I don’t know why.
Lose your depressed friends
^^ Emphasis on discarding toxic people from your life – without hesitation . That’s something I didn’t quite have the b~~~~ to do at 35, but I do now – and have. “I will have no more to do with you, and here’s why . . . .”. It’s a terrific feeling too, and I think it was the single biggest immediate improvement – just to be rid of them.
An approval-seeking mentality was still something I subscribed to for too long – and I didn’t like myself as much as long as I looked to others and compared myself to them. I started tossing it out and gave it a proper burial around 38-42.
And then my most trusted & beloved mentor (teacher for many years) died.
I didn’t have too many “heros” but they were now gone – and so was my Dad.…. so there was no umbrella above me anymore , and the inspiration for betterment had to come from myself. Nobody left to “prove” anything to. It didn’t seem like it would be a positive thing and I guess I found it a little “depressing”, but they made their contribution and now it was up to me. It turned out to be immensely positive part of my personal journey.
Mid 30s may still be early , and I might say it’s a precarious stage.
The more perfect and noble something is, the longer it takes to reach maturity.
It’s certainly not an overnight thing.Just thinking out loud.
Not even sure it will make sense to you.Have some fun.
Yes. Thats’ a good barometer. If you’re not having any FUN, what’s the point?
I once dumped a girlfriend based on noting else. “You’re not any fun anymore”.Didn’t need any other excuse.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Lose your depressed friends
^^ Emphasis on discarding toxic people from your life – without hesitation . That’s something I didn’t quite have the b~~~~ to do at 35, but I do now – and have. “I will have no more to do with you, and here’s why . . . .”. It’s a terrific feeling too, and I think it was the single biggest immediate improvement – just to be rid of them.
An approval-seeking mentality was still something I subscribed to for too long – and I didn’t like myself as much as long as I looked to others and compared myself to them. I started tossing it out and gave it a proper burial around 38-42.
And then my most trusted & beloved mentor (teacher for many years) died.
I didn’t have too many “heros” but they were now gone – and so was my Dad.…. so there was no umbrella above me anymore , and the inspiration for betterment had to come from myself. Nobody left to “prove” anything to. It didn’t seem like it would be a positive thing and I guess I found it a little “depressing”, but they made their contribution and now it was up to me.
Mid 30s may still be early , and I might say it’s a precarious stage.
The more perfect and noble something is, the longer it takes to reach maturity.
It’s certainly not an overnight thing.Just thinking out loud.
Not even sure it will make sense to you.That does make sense to me, thank you Keymaster.
Regarding letting go of toxic depressed people, I did exactly that. In my original post I bold listed an old mate. Unfortunately for him I was the last of all his friends to leave him. I sent a short, but very to-the-point email. I think if the pain outweighs the pleasure in any relationship, it’s time to cut that relationship loose. As you said, the feeling of doing so was amazing.
Regarding my other friends, they’re not depressed around me, but just generally. They use drugs and alcohol mainly during the day in their domestic lives. However, when we get together without any women we create a sort of group high just from playing poker or old arcade games, or whatever. So though they’re depressed generally, it lifts in our social situations. for me, this is one of the few remedies I have, ironically.
It’s interesting to note that I also have 4 long term female friends, and none of them even have the capacity for depression. They’re always happy and just get on with life without resorting to narcotics or alcohol abuse. Weird, eh?
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