She's coming to my city…

[IRuleMeParticipant]

Mr.Blue wrote:

I just got word from one of my friends(I have a bad feeling this could change soon) that she is coming to San Diego next month to celebrate her birthday with friends she has here and her sister. She also asked my friend if he had any plans next month and he asked her why? That’s when she told him she would be in town and wants to go partying/clubbing. He(my friend) asked her if she wanted to see me and she said “Last time we talked he wasn’t very open to me so I don’t think he wants to see me but I plan on visiting his family”. I am currently living with my grandma for a few weeks to take care of her while I move to my new place in a month or two.

I’m hoping I just don’t see her at all but I am almost certain she will stop by my grandma’s place to visit. I am thinking of staying at a buddy’s house during the time she’s here because I don’t want to get tempted to do anything with her or even talk to her. Now, one more thing…I have a good feeling she is going to try something with that friend(or maybe another) she messaged to get back at me for shutting her down last time.

What do you all think of this situation and the smartest choice I can make?
I know some will say run for the hills, others might think it’s a good opportunity to mess with the c~~~, and some of you might have a different better idea that I haven’t even thought of. Going no contact helped me go on my own way but it always seems like she tries coming back into my life for some reason. I always gain some knowledge and experience from you all so write away!

I hope you read my topic on personal boundaries. She’s testing you. She obviously knows what she says will get back to you. Why does she need to see your family? You dated, you weren’t married. The relationship is over. She has no business knocking on any of your family member’s door unless she still has a close personal friendship with them that she actively maintains. Tell you friend firstly to stop advocating you guys hook up and see each other, and tell him to tell her to stay away from your family. Make it known she has no business seeing your family (just as you do not go and see hers) and she is to stay away. If you do not stand your ground on this behavior, and you choose to hide away “fight or flight”, therefore taking the act of least resistance, she will assuredly visit your family. Put your foot down and tell her “NO!”

[AttonParticipant]

Switch on a hyperdrive and fly away.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

I think I’d be tempted to hang around the family and if she tries to get in your s~~~ by dropping by, tell her you’d like her to fellate you in front of your family.

Maybe then both your family and her will avoid seeing each other in the future.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

Been thinking about it and a lot of you seem to suggest that if my family doesn’t shut her down I should also distance myself from them. I feel like this would only make her feel more accomplished. What she probably wants to do is f~~~ one of my friends to get a reaction out of me, ruin my relationship with my family, or just cause drama.

[TrapperParticipant 2912]

Mr.Blue wrote:

Been thinking about it and a lot of you seem to suggest that if my family doesn’t shut her down I should also distance myself from them. I feel like this would only make her feel more accomplished. What she probably wants to do is f~~~ one of my friends to get a reaction out of me, ruin my relationship with my family, or just cause drama.

Any friend who sleeps with your ex like that isn’t worth having anyway. Make it a double c~~~ punt. Real friends are incredibly rare.

[UniquecornParticipant 48]

Mr Blue,

Ghosting her and putting in distance are the only options you have, otherwise its back in the fire for you.

[Anonymous 12]

Well…
regarding your family.

If your ex f~~~s with your friend to get a reaction out of you, your friend is not worth having – as Trapper says.
If she also manages to turn members of your family against you… they are not worth having.

Same principle.

very ugly.
very true.

are you ready for the truth? are you ready to find out who mom, pop, aunt and cousin really is?
Then let her do what she wants.

are you not, then try to stop her messing around in your life.
and by the same token admit that you are not sure if your folks are loyal enough to call your ex out on any and all bulls~~~ she might pull.
that means you are not convinced they stand by you and send her packing, give her a big fat “f~~~ off biatch” sign.

one step further:
if you are not sure they stand by you and send her away…
then you do not need them in your life either.

in conclusion:
F~~~ your friend.
F~~~ your family.
F~~~em all.

Walk away.

What? Offensive? Hurtful?
The red pill dispenses pain.
welcome to the post-matrix world.

[foghornleghornParticipant 3449]

No need to run away and hide man. You said you are done with this chick. If she comes around be cordial. If she tries flirting with you tell her that ship sailed and you hope she has a nice life. Just shut it down, tell her you are not interested in a drawn out conversation and that you have nothing more to say to her. If she goes and bangs your friend, who cares, you are done with this broad, why even waste time coming up with schemes on how to avoid her. The best revenge is showing her that she has 0 control over you.

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

foghornleghorn wrote:

No need to run away and hide man. You said you are done with this chick. If she comes around be cordial. If she tries flirting with you tell her that ship sailed and you hope she has a nice life. Just shut it down, tell her you are not interested in a drawn out conversation and that you have nothing more to say to her. If she goes and bangs your friend, who cares, you are done with this broad, why even waste time coming up with schemes on how to avoid her. The best revenge is showing her that she has 0 control over you.

You were late to the party but I must say that is the best response I received. I have not really been the type to run away from problems or people. I am always cordial, especially to those who don’t deserve it. Not for who they are but to reflect who I am. Thanks you for the reply and I will keep you all updated if anything happens.

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

Can you get a restraining order to keep someone from bothering your family? Don’t know, just asking. But yea, shes going to do what she can to f~~~ one of your friends and convince your family that she is sugar and spice and you NEED a woman in your life.

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

Samsquanch wrote:

Can you get a restraining order to keep someone from bothering your family? Don’t know, just asking. But yea, shes going to do what she can to f~~~ one of your friends and convince your family that she is sugar and spice and you NEED a woman in your life.

This girl is only 20 years old so my parents don’t think it’s that serious. They don’t care to see her but I also know they won’t deny her coming into their home, that’s just how they are with everyone. She will not have to try hard at all to bang one of my friends if she wants because of her looks but I guess this will be a test to my friendships. I’m ready for whatever happens, I will not give her the satisfaction of seeing me upset or suffering.

[Maximus AureliusParticipant 351]

foghornleghorn wrote:

No need to run away and hide man…..
why even waste time coming up with schemes on how to avoid her………

I have to agree with Mr. Leghorn. We as Men should not ever live in fear, or react to it. You live in a beautiful city and have your favorite haunts. Enjoy them!

You sound like you have the skills to handle her with the integrity and tact required here. Breathe easy, its one thing to have the understanding of potential trouble,
Its another to have the b~~~~ to address the situation in the moment as needed. As a fellow San Diegan, Good Luck to you Sir..

Meditating on the Wisdom & Truths of Man, Isn't just a Philosophy, but a Calling......Be willing to be Called a Man!

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

Maximus Aurelius wrote:

You sound like you have the skills to handle her with the integrity and tact required here. Breathe easy, its one thing to have the understanding of potential trouble,
Its another to have the b~~~~ to address the situation in the moment as needed. As a fellow San Diegan, Good Luck to you Sir..

Thank you sir, I am prepared for anything that comes my way.

[Author]

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