She's coming to my city…

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

Happy Monday Brothers,
I’ll try to keep this as short and simple as I can.

Some of you know my story of my ex-girlfriend. We lived together for a few years, then she left me and moved with her family to the east coast. A few months later she hit me up regretting her decision, came to visit me and we got back together. Needless to say, a few weeks after she went back, things started falling apart again. I decided to just go no contact since then (around March of this year). Blocked her number, all social media, and anything else she tried contacting me from.

Well since then, we only spoke once(about a month ago) when she called me from a Michigan number and I answered thinking it was my cousin who lives there. I didn’t hang up on her(I wish I would have) but I definitely was not nice to her and told her I had no intentions of talking to her. She hung up and started sending angry texts, so I proceeded to block that number also.

I just got word from one of my friends(I have a bad feeling this could change soon) that she is coming to San Diego next month to celebrate her birthday with friends she has here and her sister. She also asked my friend if he had any plans next month and he asked her why? That’s when she told him she would be in town and wants to go partying/clubbing. He(my friend) asked her if she wanted to see me and she said “Last time we talked he wasn’t very open to me so I don’t think he wants to see me but I plan on visiting his family”. I am currently living with my grandma for a few weeks to take care of her while I move to my new place in a month or two.

I’m hoping I just don’t see her at all but I am almost certain she will stop by my grandma’s place to visit. I am thinking of staying at a buddy’s house during the time she’s here because I don’t want to get tempted to do anything with her or even talk to her. Now, one more thing…I have a good feeling she is going to try something with that friend(or maybe another) she messaged to get back at me for shutting her down last time.

What do you all think of this situation and the smartest choice I can make?
I know some will say run for the hills, others might think it’s a good opportunity to mess with the c~~~, and some of you might have a different better idea that I haven’t even thought of. Going no contact helped me go on my own way but it always seems like she tries coming back into my life for some reason. I always gain some knowledge and experience from you all so write away!

[ghostParticipant]

Stop hoping and take action. ACTIVELY avoid her at all possible costs. The fact that you are even asking this means you should not take the risk of running in to her. Skip town or stay far, far away. DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

I agree with Gambit. Do not engage. Avoid contact.

Maybe go to one of the “donkey shows” in Tijuana.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

Why the f~~~ does she want to visit your family?!

And what Gambit says: DO NOT ENGAGE.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[Anonymous 7]

Mr.Blue wrote:

What do you all think of this situation and the smartest choice I can make?

First she has no business visiting your grandmother. If she does it is b/c she knows you will be there and has an agenda and that agenda will not be good for you.

If it were me I would go somewhere else.
Renting a motel room will cost you a little $$. What cupcake has in mind has the potential to send you to jail.

One phone call bro.

[KolaxisParticipant 668]

This woman is cancer. You’re thinking about messing with cancer? Don’t do it; you won’t win. Gambit and the others are right. You don’t necessarily have to run away but you avoid her no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. Stay with a friend, go out of town, whatever. You do not invite cancer into your life.

Jackie: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Since everything that comes out of a woman’s mouth is a lie (except an exiting dick) I must assume she has some kind of plan of vengeance. Remember women never forget an insult and NEVER tolerate a man to “one up” them. I was in San Diego once (hated it) but even though its a big town she is going to use your friend to set you up somehow. I recommend you put a lot of shoe leather between you and the city. Might be a good time to look for a new place to live—like in the SOUTH! Plenty O room in Florida.

Anyway ditch her and the city.

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

ghost wrote:

Stop hoping and take action. ACTIVELY avoid her at all possible costs.

Can always count on you for the right direction Gambit.

Ranger One wrote:

agree with Gambit. Do not engage. Avoid contact.

Maybe go to one of the “donkey shows” in Tijuana.

Anonymous wrote:

If it were me I would go somewhere else.

I have a very busy month at work during that time so I cannot leave but I am now going to plan staying at a friend’s house or renting a room out for that time.

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

Nerevar wrote:

Why the f~~~ does she want to visit your family?!

And what Gambit says: DO NOT ENGAGE.

She was very close to all of my family members and my family is a very welcoming one. They will definitely not tell her her to go away regardless of our situation and she knows that. She will go to my parents house to visit my younger sister then I’m sure she will pass by my grandma’s knowing I am currently living with her…

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

PistolPete wrote:

I must assume she has some kind of plan of vengeance. Remember women never forget an insult and NEVER tolerate a man to “one up” them.

This is exactly what is going through my head. I feel like she will try hooking up with one of my friends to get back at me. I am trying to keep a positive mindset regardless of the outcome. If she does do that, just goes to show how much of a c~~~ she is and I will lose a fake friend. Don’t think it would really be a loss at that point.

[The man in the mountainParticipant 4102]

She is picking up the scent of money (resources) off of you or shes planning something very bad that she will put you through…

Pistol Pete is correct, women never forget or forgive, shes either planning to one up you or wanting to put you through the wringer, DO NOT ENGAGE.

Women have no shame and they don’t mind p~~~ing where they eat…You give them enough rope and they will hang themselves..

If she presents herself to you, just ignore, do NOT talk to her in any kind of distasteful way that she can use it as an excuse for rape or harassment..

[Anonymous 7]

Mr.Blue wrote:

I have a very busy month at work during that time so I cannot leave but I am now going to plan staying at a friend’s house or renting a room out for that time.

Good man.
I didn’t mean you had to leave town.
Just get a room somewhere and don’t tell anyone where.
Even a few miles away should be good enough.
I am assuming it is only for a few days, like a weekend or something.

[Anonymous 7]

The man in the mountain wrote:

If she presents herself to you, just ignore, do NOT talk to her in any kind of distasteful way that she can use it as an excuse for rape or harassment..

Amen!

[Anonymous 18]

Tell her you love her, have cried ever since she left you, your grandma puts you to sleep singing your favorite lullaby because its ‘oh so lonely without her’.

Furthermore, also admit that she is everything you could hope for and wouldn’t mind being a stay at home dad because a modern woman needs to experience life to the fullest. You’d even pick her up from the guy’s house late at night. Its also okay if she got pregnant with a Chad’s baby because you want to do the right thing and raise the baby of a different race (preferably).

She won’t visit your grandma’s house.

Use your pal as the proxy to deliver the said message.

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

Anonymous wrote:

Even a few miles away should be good enough.
I am assuming it is only for a few days, like a weekend or something.

I think for a week but I will lay off the radar. I still don’t know which dates she’s coming but her birthday is on Sep 18 so I’m guessing that week. My mom’s birthday is Sep20 and she knows that so I will invite my mom out somewhere instead of visiting her at home just incase she tries to run into me there.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

I agree, ghost. Make yourself scarce. She wants to see you to see if she can get a rise out of you. She told your friends she was going to be there in order to MAKE SURE you know when she will be in town. She is looking for a confrontation to see if you still care. The opposite of love isn’t hate it’s apathy. So even if she can p~~~ you off it shows her you still care.

So, your two options are to either see her and be completely indifferent to her or to avoid her altogether. Being unavailable and denying her the fight she is looking for is the best answer.

It takes three things to make a fire: Heat, fuel, and oxygen. She is the heat source and your past with her is the fuel. You can’t do anything about those two legs of the triangle. But avoiding her is taking away the oxygen. You can’t make a fire without oxygen. It’s your only weapon. And she put this in play, not you. And she WILL put the heat to the fuel and see if she can start something.

And don’t think for a minute that making a plan is showing you still care. If you are a no-show, you can expect her to pass along some shaming language for your friends to report back to you, and then she’ll be in contact with them to see what you said. Give them nothing either. Just tell them that she’s an ex for a reason, and you live by a code: One chance, per person, per lifetime, no exceptions.

Order the good wine

[MonkParticipant 16988]

She’s poison. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

[Mr.BlueParticipant 614]

TaxGuy wrote:

So, your two options are to either see her and be completely indifferent to her or to avoid her altogether. Being unavailable and denying her the fight she is looking for is the best answer.

This is exactly my plan. I will avoid her at all costs but if she happens to hunt me down I will act indifferent. She knows where I work, live, work-out, and even my favorite places to eat so if she wants to find me, she will. I will remain composed.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

The best protection from a nuclear bomb is distance.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

So if you see her, here is the conversation.

Look, you had your chance. I stick to a very strict rule: One chance, per person, per lifetime, NO exceptions!

You gave ME a second chance.

Where do you think the f~~~ing rule came from?

Seriously, good luck and keep us posted.

Order the good wine

[Author]

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