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This topic contains 231 replies, has 51 voices, and was last updated by 
Russky 3 years, 3 months ago.
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If she could she’d sell your organs to have more money. So best you can do here is get restricting order, crush her credibility in court via mental illness or crossing her rights without care and brace for impact.
Be ready for her to use compliments / say positive things about you/to you in order to try to pull you “back under.” My ex tried to pull this stunt and I just could not believe the sheer gall. After what she’s done to you, no effing way. Mine tried it three times and I’m thinking, do you honestly believe I give a cold f~~~ in the sahara what your opinion is? Do you? …………………….It’s a manipulation to try to make it hurt more when they tear back into you – – don’t fall for it.
You are doing a fine job. Keep the faith and continue plugging away at the administrative stuff like documenting everything, and if tired, just tape record / voice record your ideas and voice record your kids telling you stuff she’s pulling while it’s fresh in everyone’s mind. It’s going to be hard on you and your children, not because you aren’t caving in, but because of … her, the root cause, decision making here, remember “Just out of jail.”
Get in the habit of listening to messages and looking at texts when you choose to. Not when you feel you have to or you must, but when “I’ve thought about it, and now I choose to listen to these/read these.” Even if it’s seconds/minutes/hours You decide.
2 decades for me too, but do not believe a word she says, do not lean on her. Lean on God, lean on your friends and that includes us.
Last request does anyone hear know protocols regarding recording hypnosis sessions. It might pay for Robot to record them just to be certain the right thoughts are being hyponotized sent, and not what the female therapist thinks the right thoughts are. Has the hypnotist added, “you are getting stronger now, stronger and more energy,” that sort of thing.eg “I know to not believe her….”
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Guys I am terribly worried about the things going on back there with the kids and her. My 15 year old daughter is getting into huge fights with my wife and of course she says it’s because of me, I’m not sure what to do. I may have to look for a big enough place so my daughter can move in with me if it gets too much, I just hope that things over there don’t get violent now. That’s the last thing I need now…My older son is mostly out with his friends or girlfriend, he’s 18.
Maybe this is all provoked by her to get to me…????
“Guys I am terribly worried about the things going on back there with the kids and her.”
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3200649—s-nz-b-ngf
‘art of war’ she is attacking you where she perceives the most vulnerability. This of course will backfire as it only highlights the fact that she is the problem and the true source of it’s manifestations.
“My 15 year old daughter is getting into huge fights with my wife”
Of course she is. She sees the truth vs your EX’s, behavior and deceptions. This is actually a good sign.
“and of course she says it’s because of me,”
Review inputs here. Did not Keymaster tell you, IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. If you ask men here what to do, especially KM and Brainpilot,(feel free to ignore me though) but if the experts tell you quite plainly what to do, and you ignore it you would normally be called an askhole. You are not an askhole, so quit giving a damn what your EX says. By the way, get used to it, she is your ex, she chose this when.she.put.you.in.jail.
“I’m not sure what to do. “
I will ignore what my ex says………………………………………………..I will ignore what my ex says.
“I may have to look for a big enough place so my daughter can move in with me if it gets too much,”
unless you are currently in a studio one room total apartment, I’m calling bologna on that. A one bedroom is plenty – one bed in the living room and one in the bedroom. Also, it is not based on “needs” it’s based on $$ available, so even a studio with a curtain of sorts that you put up and earplugs will do. Temporary pain is temporary pain. And their is always the lesson learned here for your daughter to see reality for what it is. If you find a way for, “Because I’m Going Thru Divorce My Income Doubled”v then write a book and become a millionaire.
“I just hope that things over there don’t get violent now.”
Tell your daughter to initiate NO physical contact, but to run and to call the police immediately…………….immediately. Without exception!
That’s the last thing I need now…My older son is mostly out with his friends or girlfriend, he’s 18.
Maybe this is all provoked by her to get to me…????
YES IMO that’s correct.
Pray, memorize the short version of the serenity prayer, KEEP IN TOUCH HERE and AWAIT better men’s guidance here.
You might consider telling keymaster and brainpilot exactly what your conversations with the female hypnotist have been. Giving any female the keys to my mind is something I would NEVER do. Consider who is buttering her bread. Record the sessions so you know she is doing you no harm. Expect the best but for the love of common sense, be prepared for the worst. It’s hard, I know, it is so f~~~ing hard that the mind will try to soften the impact. When my EX went to a women’s clinic vs the hospital, to be tested for !@#$%^&*() , I was still in denial when I found out via the papertrail. It’s hard, but be strong for your kids. Your ex is dead to you at this point. She is dead of her own doing.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
You don’t have to like a situation. You only have to like yourself in it. What to do next?
Make certain that you protect and take care of yourself here. You are the only sane adult in the situation. If you don’t protect yourself here, all is lost. Your ex is going to put bats~~~ crazy on full display here. It’s going to get worse than you’ve ever seen before. You don’t have to like that, you just have to take care of yourself here. You can be assured that your crazy ex will be attempting to blame you for everything. That’s just a broken record that keeps mechanically repeating itself. No need to respond to it. You probably responded to it for many years when you lived with her, and it never changed. Responding to it now won’t change it either, but it will distract you from putting that same effort into protecting and improving yourself… so that you can be an example of a means of escape for your children, and to soon be able (hopefully) to offer them a mechanism to do so.
Not long ago, you were uncertain about wether or not you should get your own place. Now, you are considering wether or not to get another place for both you and your daughter. This is progress. By removing yourself, you now have the option to remove your daughter. (But first, you had to remove yourself.) You are the only hope your children have of similarly escaping her. You are the only hope they have to learn by example what a sane, rational person looks/acts like. Your commitment to removing yourself from your ex is the only chance that you have to live a sane, healthy life. It’s also the only chance your children have.
Wether you cram yourself and your children into a small place, or a larger one… doesn’t really matter that much. Either option is an improvement for them from living with her. Try to remind yourself that 1) this situation is going to be a horrible one for a while yet 2) you are not responsible for causing it, or for fixing it 3) any energy you put into trying to fix it will be wasted as it will make zero difference, but will take away energy from protecting and improving yourself… which WILL improve things for you and for your kids.
Because emotions cloud judgement, and because she is an expert at creating tense emotions for everyone around her, follow this rule: the crazier she gets, the faster you run (AWAY). When you have run far enough to be safe from her, you can establish a place for your children to run to as well.
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Anonymous42@brainpilot, I like your strategy, are you sure you weren’t a General, or Admiral in some prior existence? I consider you a gender war General (5star). I’m glad you were born a man, it would be hell to pay if you were on the other team….
Robot, as far as I know, you haven’t, and I just wanted to suggest that it may not be a good idea to refer to your ex, to the kids as “Your mother” this, “Your mother that.” IMO it just kind of unfairly associates them, and I never found a way of saying it, (so I didn’t), that wouldn’t sound harsh toward the kids. Initially talking with your kids, you can say, she smashed her fist on the counter and then what did she do, etc. Refering to her at this stage by some version of her first name, could erode the parent child structure from your relationship with the kids.
Also, a line to never cross, even when the behavior is remarkably akin to that of your ex, never associate / refer / in any way / tie in, their behavior to hers. It’s too much, IMO.
Doing these two things can partly avoid making it harder on them, which is already a hundred times harder than on you. It’s their whole world. Two decades and more of yours, but their whole world that’s changed.
Hope this helps.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Guys I am terribly worried about the things going on back there with the kids and her. My 15 year old daughter is getting into huge fights with my wife and of course she says it’s because of me, I’m not sure what to do.
Been there Robot. The man leaves for just a small time and the house-of-cards starts to topple. Women are pathetic little creatures as they play make-believe that they are the leader. And the things you hear will only get worse. Along with your kids calling bulls~~~ on your wife’s leaders~~~, they will push boundaries and your wife will get even more neurotic and “it will all be your fault.” Are you ready for it? Get ready. “Do you know what she/he did?…The youngest cries all the time…The oldest doesn’t do this anymore…So and so got caught stealing…there was a fight at school.” ALL YOUR FAULT. It had ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING to do with you being hauled-off like a criminal, at your wife’s request, from YOUR OWN HOUSE and thrown in jail so that “I could teach him a lesson. And I’d do it again, too!”
Mothers think they are the ones keeping order. Wrong. Children need their mother until about the age of 7, after which mothers become increasingly hostile and irrelevant (especially to young daughters as they approach sexual maturity as they view them as a threat). Mothers become nothing more than a nanny which could be hired-out for $200 a week to drive, cook and clean. After age 7, a father becomes the most important person in a childs life. Why? Because the mother transitions into a hostile, vindictive, petty, babbling idiot who takes her life’s frustrations out on anyone in her proximity turning the household into a living hell. Without a man around to provide structure and boundaries for all (but especially the wife) the home becomes like a zoo that someone opened all the cages…the kids acting like chimps and the wife a hippo, not knowing what to do to regain order. The wife hopes you’ll hear of how the kids are acting and hopes to appeal to your guilty side and your innate sense of “I can fix this if I just go home.” Know that your kids will act out with your X because kids, just like adults, can smell B.S. And women are full of it.
Anonymous42the home becomes like a zoo that someone opened all the cages…the kids acting like chimps and the wife a hippo, not knowing what to do to regain order.
@dakota, you just described our new and independent fatherless form of government, where mindless babbling idiots rule!
Good job feminism; home, family, country, and the West in absolute chaos! Yep, that’s what happens when women are in charge. That’s also why MGTOW have “control” over their own lives, we learned that giving a woman “any” control is like allowing a rabid chimpanzee loose in the C~~~pit of an aircraft. I had to say “C~~~pit” only because those feminist C~~~S changed it to flight deck, or cabin, f~~~ them! C~~~ PIT! C~~~ PIT! C~~~ PIT!
Thanks all again, super helpful, I feel a lot better. Everything you guys say resonates. The advice regarding the children also great. This is such a great place here and without it I would be in serious trouble!
Please keep us updated, even just a sentence or two.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
@experienced I’m staying with friends at the moment, a couple, not so easy to be honest. I think I found a place far enough from her, but close enough to get to my children. I hope I can manage to move into it within the next 4 weeks, but will still be difficult with the finances. Until then I am here and there, whoever will take me in at the moment.
I still get bouts of depression, but only because I wish things were a bit easier, not because of her. I have no doubt in my mind that I am staying a free man.
I am trying to ignore the crap coming from her but it’s not easy. Can you believe it, I mean she is still trying to abuse and control the crap out of me…and yes I know ignore ignore ignore….I’ll get there.
Thank you for keeping us all updated. There are many concerned for you and your kids. It’s good that your friend is letting you stay there. You’ll save on rent (maybe can give him a little cash to help with food, if you can.) Sounds like a good distance. Expect the best and prepare for the worst. Be sure to get enough sleep, which is more than usual due to stress.
“I have no doubt in my mind that I am staying a free man.” Solid!
Relay this to your hypnotherapist about increasing your strength of ignoring. And also, “When I sleep, I sleep deeply and awaken fully refreshed and mentally sharp.”
thank you again for keeping in touch.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Anonymous9F~~~ dude, and I’m sorry to hear that.
It’s probably best to stay away from here on out. You’re not going to feel any sense of belonging, and domestic issues will often crop up stemming from incidents like this.
Once you have to hit a woman it’s over. Not only for the relationship, but it could be over for you as well in terms of employment, and now you have to deal with the stigma of criminality as a result.
Stay away.
Guys she keeps believing that I will be back after the court hearing. She I have to help with the children more, especially in the morning. (There is a three year old, the others are 15 and 18)
At the same time she’s threatening me to “make the call” i.e. having me arrested again. Guys of course I ignore as much as possible, but I must admit I am getting a little angry.
She thinks because I haven’t filed for divorce I am not getting one. I simply cannot deal with divorce lawyers etc now because I don’t have the money for this stuff now.
What is her preferred end result from all this? Do whatever it takes to keep her believing that is where you are headed. Probably more realistic, a variation of it that looks like you aren’t just caving but that is very acceptable to her.
For example, if she says she is going to “make the call” then communicate that if she does that it could permanently derail your efforts to get back in the house (and presumably under her thumb). Put on a good act. Sound and act like a big ‘ol blue-pill mangina. She will eat it up.
Make it look like its going to take a while so you have plenty of time to work your plan. But the key is that she thinks she is slowly reeling you back in. She will LOVE the idea that she is rounding you up like a stray dog and at some point will have you cornered where she will be able to inflict maximum punishment. The more this is her perception the more blind she will be to any maneuvers you make that might otherwise raise her eyebrow.
But in reality be going your own way. At the point where you are fully protected, have all the evidence you need/can get, and your lawyer says you have all your ducks in a row, drop the bombshell on her. Then go silent and ghost. Messages from her only come through a third party that doesn’t know your location. No response or contact from you to her whatsoever. Period. You will lose contact with your kids for a period but you have to TRUST the guys on this site who say you will get back a better relationship with your kids someday.
Let everything work through the court system and fight for everything you can.
Plan your work and work your plan. Be strong, you CAN do this! You know that now. You will stumble but get back up and keep going. We’re cheering you on!
It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...
@HighCountryDilbert Thanks!!! This was what I needed to hear today!
It’s been 4 weeks now that I am on my own and yet I still get these horrible ups and downs, mostly downs. I don’t really understand why this is so difficult. I sometimes feel that I don’t deserve the freedom, but know it’s rubbish. I just get depressed, but don’t know why? I should really feel great, but I don’t.
Tell me guys this is getting better right?
Give me a moment to explain. Im in a mood right now to write a response, but I want you to know Im doing it right now.
btw, you are one of my Heroes on this website. I don’t know you or your name, but you are.
Why you may ask ? Because You are still here, alive, living, went trough hell and emotionally, psychically, economically trough the social meat grinder and you are still here.
My friend is in a s~~~ situation right now, Im his Mentor for as much as possible, trying to get him trough a mess.
Please, give me a moment, I will write a longer message. I hope if it doesnt help, atleast keeps your spirit up.
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Anonymous11Robot: 4 weeks out from that hell you’ve experienced is barely out of the woods. The ups and horrible downs are totally normal though very scary and stressful. It will get better as long as you hold the course. Each passing month will give you incremental progress, and over time you’ll be able to see it. One day you will reach indifference. I promise it’s waiting for you on the other side.
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