Just found out my son's mom has colon cancer, I feel guilty

[Puffin StuffParticipant 25021]

I just found out from my mother that my son told her that my ex-wife has colon cancer. She’s pretty young at 52.

When I first heard the news I assessed my feelings, as one does, and found that I felt nothing. Flashes of her accusing me in criminal court of abusing my son flashed before my eyes instantly.

I felt nothing. I wasn’t happy she might die and wasn’t sad for her either. I just felt nothing. It’s like being a psychopath.

I am not a psychopath. I am a cancer doctor and feel empathy for even the biggest asshole with cancer. I wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy.

But I felt nothing for my ex. She ruined my life and my son’s life and I don’t care if she lives or dies. Really feel no remorse that she would go. She’s a waste of a human.

I feel guilty that I feel nothing for her. She was my ex-wife. I wouldn’t feel that way about my first wife. I might call my first wife to wish her well. We still have a good relationship although we haven’t spoken in over a decade.

Don’t ever give a woman your children. The scars are not worth it.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[Anonymous 42]

That’s what she gets for contracting a male oriented disease, if it were “BREAST CANCER” her chances would have been better!

Obama cut funding for colon cancer research while everyone else doubled down and over funded the fight against breast cancer.

Tell her, welcome to the club of reverse discrimination, welcome to what it’s like to be a man in a society so focused on women that men’s needs don’t exist, welcome to being disposable!

[Space CowboyParticipant 1466]

Her ruining your life = her fault.

Her getting cancer = not your fault.

Not your actions, not your guilt. She personally damaged you and attacked you and your son, she gets cancer, don’t expect to feel anything for her.

"Have you ever thought about any real freedoms? Freedom from the opinions of others...even from the opinions of yourself?"

[joetechParticipant]

Colon cancer is one of the easiest cancers to treat. Don’t beat yourself up too much. A): She isn’t worth it.
B): She’ll probably be just fine after the treatments. My brother had colon cancer about 12 years ago. He’s fine now.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Let me get this straight.

Someone ruis your life and your sons life, is paying the bill at last, and you are down because you feel nothing?

F~~~ that s~~~, feeling nothing just makes you human, the normal reaction wold be throw a party, big one.

If that bitch dies less trash on this planet, is life the guy in here whose ex slut wife died, he found after all the lies.

Why wold you feel sorry for someone who tried to f~~~ you over?

F~~~ THAT BITCH.

I hope the cancer is at stage 4 with metástasis and she end up with organ failure, with acute pulmonary edema and saying your name and asking for forgiveness till the moment she dies.

A-men

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 25021]

My brother was diagnosed with colon cancer two years ago and died within 7 months. I’m retired so I was his primary care taker. I took him to all his visits, chemo, surgery etc. I took care of him in home hospice.

It really sucks. He was only 61.

I don’t care if she suffers or not.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10977]

Sir, you didn’t cause or wish cancer upon her so not feeling guilty about it is OK in my book.

She's not looking for love. She's looking for someone to finance the lifestyle that SHE thinks SHE deserves.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 25021]

Carnage wrote:

is paying the bill

I don’t believe there is a bill to pay. She owes me nothing. She behaved like a nature designed her, like a woman. She’s deceiptful, viscious, hateful, hurtful, uncaring, unloving, selfish, and a world class slut but she’s my ex wife and there was something I loved about her.

I didn’t want the divorce. She did. We were having problems, she had post partum depression. I just thought it was a bump in the road of a long term marriage.

Wrong.

It was her behavior toward our son and I when we were fighting for custody. She was ruthless through and through and never gave up the hate in her heart.

Because of that I don’t care if she suffers and dies or not. I feel nothing.

I think that is the point of going your own way. I can depend on it’s ethos and not need to depend on my relationship with her to define any aspect of myself or my relationship with my son.

My world is not affected by her plight in any way.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[Space CowboyParticipant 1466]

I bet she’s all like “Oooh what did I ever do to deserve this!?!?”

Ignorant until the end. I know plenty of women who would be.

"Have you ever thought about any real freedoms? Freedom from the opinions of others...even from the opinions of yourself?"

[AwakenedParticipant 35293]

For myself, It’s hard to FEEL for someone that at different levels I Hold Accountable for so much Misery, Parasitic Behavior, and WASTED TIME/LIFE.

I FEEL that this individual has STOLEN from ME what I can NEVER Replace or have a Substitute for. In essence, She Has Robbed Part of My Person.

One can Walk Away, One Must Move On, One Must Live for Themselves, but One Can’t Forget.

If you’re Fortunate there is no Sadness, Madness, Grief, Hatred, or other emotion left to give; it has all been replaced with Indifference to Allow YOURSELF to Move On.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

I hope you can let this pass buddy.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[TwistParticipant]

Puffin Stuff wrote:

I am not a psychopath

No you are not, Brother.

I understand. I have not hurt a person since blindsiding my brother with a left hook around age 8. As gentle as they come.

And I now struggle daily with psychopathic thoughts. I hate what my life experience has turned me into.

And my condolences on the loss of your brother. Hopefully he found some degree of peace before signing off.

[BoarParticipant]

You have zero agency or responsibility for this. It is merely a fact about someone you know.

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[Bestieboy666Participant 2358]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

I hope you can let this pass buddy.

Well said Jan.
Your feeling of quilt is only a sign of your empathy. It’s who you are as an individual and has nothing to do with your ex. Would she feel the same way about you?

Women are so bad, if they changed the law so I kept the house, I still wouldn't marry one. I'd rather be homeless.

[UntamedParticipant]

Why the F~~~ would you feel guilty?!
That monster ruined your life, your son’s life and whatever future you might’ve had had she not been such a total and accomplished C~~~!

Carnage wrote:

F~~~ THAT BITCH.

Amen!!
F~~~ her twice!
You’re feeling nothing for that bitch and so you should!

Do you think you should feel any kind of compassion or remorse??
Dude! You’re a better man than I am!
After hearing that news I’d have moved on to another, happier subject like: When do you get to see your son next!?

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[GeraldParticipant 3661]

PS, i have taken a lot of heat here for caring about the death of my awalt wife. You cant help your feelings, or lack thereof. I think you are more worried about the coldness you are feeling, and it is ok. I dont think less of you because you are not grief stricken, you are feeling what your body and mind know is right for you.

She hurt you, you broke it off and compartmentalized it, youre good.

Dont beat yourself up about it.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

Puffin Stuff wrote:

My brother was diagnosed with colon cancer two years ago and died within 7 months. I’m retired so I was his primary care taker. I took him to all his visits, chemo, surgery etc. I took care of him in home hospice.

It really sucks. He was only 61.

I don’t care if she suffers or not.

Your brother had it you need to get checked.

From this day forward be mindful of your gut and stool. Better to catch it early so you have a chance at recovery.

None of that other stuff matters. Take care of yourself.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[Branched offParticipant 11232]

I am sorry to hear your news Puffin Stuff.

Please don’t feel bad that you feel very little sadness for her. I can see why you would feel guilt over it but she has hurt you too much for you to function normally, that is all it is.

The feeling of empathy may or may not come but its not in your power to control it now. You were traumatised. As women love to say trauma does things to people and leaves scars.

Arguments and a break up are not the worst things in the long term but the an underhand advantage taking lying cheating break up in a court is a deep, deep wound. It is a violation. You are supposed to be safe in the court and you and she are supposed to have your children’s interests at heart, she is supposed to be someone you can trust to treat you fairly even if you no longer want her to be your spouse. If she hurt you, violated you like that, it is no surprise that you do not have normal feelings towards her any more or that you cannot just summon them up by an act of will or guilt.

I hope this goes peacefully for you, however it goes.

She may yet blame her relationship with a man for her getting cancer. My mother blamed my father for the caner that killed her.

A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own

[sjt1975Participant 2536]

Space Cowboy is correct. Whilst it is far from nice, it is not your fault; you have nothing to feel guilty about. She divorced you, so she does not care about you, and so you owe her nothing; you are not married to her, so you do not have a duty of care to her. This may sound harsh, but it is the cold hard truth, and you cannot allow yourself to become emotionally affected by somebody who screwed you over before-hand. You need to show her the same level of care back that she showed towards you, i.e. none, because she divorced you, and she presumably screwed-up your relationship with your own son. You need to stop letting people emotionally manipulate you and to stop feeling ‘guilty’ for things that are not your fault; when she divorced you, she told you how she felt about you, so why should you care about her? Think about the situation clearly, without emotion.

[BubParticipant 1433]

“Hate isn’t the opposite of love, indifference is”

Prayers for you and your son as you travel through this time in your lives.

Just rolling down the road

[Author]

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