Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Is it weird I feel bad about my ex-wife?
This topic contains 66 replies, has 29 voices, and was last updated by 
ForeverDone 2 years, 7 months ago.
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I know this sounds strange, but as all the dust settled, I feel bad. I feel like I failed. Think of it. She’s now 42, twice divorced, no family, ailing father, little money, little retirement and in a depression which has only gotten worse. Heck, she still has our photos prominent on her facebook as soon as you pull up her page I am told.
Keep in mind, while in still blue pill mode, she talked really bad about me to all it seems. It was so bad, that her co-workers thought she was cheating on me. A VAR proved that she didn’t, but the other things she said about me, the lies, the hurt, the pain.. Would you believe, she stated numerous times on the VAR, I want to leave so bad, but I am just too weak. Or, with him, I know what I have. It’s better than what’s out there in the dating cesspool. Another good one, I will leave when I am ready. He has to change for me in order for this marriage to work. This is on top of her telling the therapist that she didn’t want me at the counseling. Her excuse was she needed it more than we did. I am no angel, and I was going through a business failing, two deaths in my family and complete hell in my life. I was also recovering from an serious injury that made me go to the hospital nearly every week. With all of that said, I still carried my weight, cleaned the house, cooked the food, paid 95% of all bills including all of the housing and utilities. When I was in pain, I remember she was just sitting there… Didn’t offer to help at all. I had shoulder surgery and my shoulder was set in a fixed position. The pain got so bad, I just went to the bedroom to wait for it to subside when it flared up. Due to this, we had separate bedrooms at my request. That was my mistake, and once I was better (took a good year), I requested for her to move back in, she said no. I asked once per week, she said no. Both her mom and the therapist said this wasn’t good, but she’s half Jewish half Italian, and one stubborn SOB. Of course, prior to marriage, she was an angel who would help in any way possible. During the hurricane (2012 I think), she had no heat or power, I drove over and picked her up, took her back to my place. No appreciation. She got into two car accidents, I repaired her car. She had the flu while we were dating, and I took care of her for a week at my place. She had issues at her job, I intervened and worked to get her out of hot water. Yet, she tells everyone that I gave bad advice. When she had hard days at work, I’d send her a nice fruit basket for her to share with her friends at work. I cooked three nights a week, she actually go upset the meals weren’t ready when she got home (this is after a full day of work for me). Ironically, I got the flu last year, she left me for dead. Four days, she didn’t even check to see if I needed anything. She cussed me out, told me to go f~~~ myself a few times as well as punched me in my arm (all for a hidden cookie). I had a bad migraine and I asked her to lower the TV, her answer was go into another room. So I disconnected the tv and went into the next room. Sex stopped from 2015 – 2016. She then asked/offered an open marriage, I filed for divorce the next day. I was so ashamed and hurt she said that. It was like a knife went through my heart. It seemed expected, not appreciated.
She f~~~ed me on the medical insurance until the divorce was final (she dragged it out for a year before signing). I thank Tom Leykis for the strength to pull the trigger. It was only a 2 year marriage. However, it if go closer to 4 years, there would had been asset division. If you can believe, a week after marriage, she asked for her name to be put on the house that I’ve owned prior to meeting her? I said no chance. Yet, I still only have sorrow for her, not hate or anger.
Since I’ve divorced her, my finances have repaired, I am rebuilding my business, my health has gotten better and I am generally happier. However, I have a great distain for women now. I tolerate them, but I always wonder, what are they really thinking. Nothing has changed me more in my 40+ years living on this planet than marriage and divorce. The woman could be a billionaire, and I wouldn’t marry again. Why do women, highly educated women, underestimate us guys? They take kindness for weakness.
The question, again, is why don’t I have any anger or hatred towards her? Even the lawyer, wanted to slam her through the floor, I wouldn’t do it. I said I just want out of the contract. I gave her all the wedding gifts, cash, bedroom furniture and my rights to her pension. I am not a vindictive person. I am more of a person who speaks softly but carries a big stick. The failure of the marriage is still quite painful. I feel like I was forced to file in order to protect what I have left. Not only that, what was I gaining in the marriage? No love (she refused to kiss me for almost 2 years), no sex, no cooking, she was a slob, going to her parents every week, etc. Would you believe, she made fun of my shoulder surgery cause the cartilage makes a cracking sound in front of my parents and her family? After that, I told her she’s never coming to my Mom’s house again. Would you believe, at her 40th birthday party, I was not allowed to have any input? Her mom did everything. Yet, it was my idea. Not only that, the photo’s she took were of everyone aside from me and my remaining family. I feel played, but I didn’t really lose anything aside from time. I thought I was marrying my friend, let alone I married a person who just wanted the title of wife. Yet, again, I’d find her taking off or not wearing her wedding ring all the time.
There should be a warning label on the bottom of the marriage license. Things which appear in life may not necessarily be the truth. Please think about what the other person is getting out of entering into a contract with you.
I realize I was lucky in terms of only having to pay 35k in legal fees. However, what the hell is wrong with these people… More importantly, why, after typing all of this, can’t I get angry at my ex-wife. All I feel is pity towards her.
prior to marriage, she was an angel who would help in any way possible
Go to this section of the website and you will see something:
A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.
Anonymous13All that s~~~ you spoke of from a lack of sympathy for your well being to her asking for an open marriage and refusing to share a bedroom.
All of that aside.
SHE TRASH TALKED YOU TO HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
THAT is a deal breaker everytime.
SHE’S NOT LOYAL.
Loyalty is Numero UNO.
And she sounds like an UTTER C~~~ from HELL.
Sorry man, but she does.No, you don’t have to hate her or feel any rage, but try not to feel sorry for her.
She brought all this on herself.
Just reading what you wrote made me angry.
The f~~~ing evil c~~~.
Move on quickly and live well, man.
Be well.
Thanks for the post OP…And these predators have the nerve to call us heartless….Yup…my heart is cold and frozen now after you trampled on it after seeing that it was bleeding…Would I try another time expecting it to be different? LOL…F~~~ you c~~~s…I am nursing this pain now and I will heal having nothing to with you…Where were you when I was down? Oh right, it was you holding the knife twisting it even deeper into my psyche the more I wail in pain…No more f~~~ers..No more you will use me…
I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...
Most women act like children, some more than others. They take emotional decisions without long-term thinking. Their brains are wired like that. Whenever I see this, I feel a little sorry for them too.
But it doesn’t matter. They are adults, they are considered adults by law, and they themselves fight very hard to be considered adults and equal to men. So I treat them as such.
A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)
I got mad reading the posts. I felt that pain too…After all the sacrifices we made for the marriage, it still was not enough. I hope you c~~~s and femtards realize what you are doing because the time will come when you realize the mistake you made…You try to go back to us expecting the same white knight waiting for you…No more…We have buried him..You killed him…In his place is a selfish bastard who will not bow down to you nor even acknowledge that you exist. You will fade into oblivion while chastising your younger self for being so stupid….Even at this time, you cannot take responsibility for your actions but blaming your stupid younger self…NO…You are to blame..It was YOU who made that choice…It was you who was stupid for not listening to the man who truly cared for you..Now he is gone, he is happy in his life without you…
I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...
Anonymous13You say you feel bad for her.
Just remember this.
That c~~~ doesn’t care whether you live or die.
I feel bad. I feel like I failed. Think of it. She’s now 42, twice divorced, no family, ailing father, little money, little retirement and in a depression which has only gotten worse. Heck, she still has our photos prominent on her facebook as soon as you pull up her page I am told
You know one way to cure this is to go back for another helping of her Bulls~~~! But we both know that it could end up destroying you!
Maybe thinking about what would be left of your sanity, money, health and life in general (if you went back with her) could help you forget about it!
You must own a better Crystal ball than I
Anonymous13Also you say you feel you failed. Oh man, I just wanna slap that out of you, no offence.
She acted like a bitch, she didn’t show basic caring and compassion for you in ANY regard.
She trashed talked you.
Sorry man, your post triggered me.
I’m betting that EVERY single married man out there can relate to the behaviour of that bitch in your marriage.
Let her hit the wall at warp speed.
She pressed the button.
GAME OVER.
Man, it just hurts reading my post. Trust when I say, I am not as pathetic as I described before. I just thought (or engrained in my head) I was doing the right thing. F~~~ what I need, take care of your wife. Marriage is just a raw deal no matter how you slice the cards.
I am going to check the comments from married men. Thank you all again for listening to my banter.
Anonymous25I’d care about as much as a woman would towards a man if the roles were reversed
Never seen a woman say “no, don’t send my ex to jail over child support he can’t afford”
Never seen a woman say, “I’m a lying bitch I made up false allegations to stop him seeing the kids, but I want to make it right now”
NFG her
I got mad reading the posts. I felt that pain too…After all the sacrifices we made for the marriage, it still was not enough. I hope you c~~~s and femtards realize what you are doing because the time will come when you realize the mistake you made…You try to go back to us expecting the same white knight waiting for you…No more…We have buried him..You killed him…In his place is a selfish bastard who will not bow down to you nor even acknowledge that you exist. You will fade into oblivion while chastising your younger self for being so stupid….Even at this time, you cannot take responsibility for your actions but blaming your stupid younger self…NO…You are to blame..It was YOU who made that choice…It was you who was stupid for not listening to the man who truly cared for you..Now he is gone, he is happy in his life without you…
I am sure I am not the only one with a similar story. I just had to get it off my chest. Women are truly the black widow it seems. I find, even when I was “dating” the other one, they are just very cold people; and I use the word people sparingly.
You say you feel bad for her.
Just remember this.
That c~~~ doesn’t care whether you live or die.
Probably. I am sure she’s happier now that she’s free. Afterall, that is what she wanted. To be free, but she was just not strong enough to do it herself. Though, who’s she going to blame now? LOL
You know one way to cure this is to go back for another helping of her Bulls~~~! But we both know that it could end up destroying you!
Maybe thinking about what would be left of your sanity, money, health and life in general (if you went back with her) could help you forget about it!
No chance. I don’t live in the past, and I don’t press rewind. It’s the past for a reason.
Also you say you feel you failed. Oh man, I just wanna slap that out of you, no offence.
She acted like a bitch, she didn’t show basic caring and compassion for you in ANY regard.
She trashed talked you.
Sorry man, your post triggered me.
I’m betting that EVERY single married man out there can relate to the behaviour of that bitch in your marriage.
Let her hit the wall at warp speed.
She pressed the button.
GAME OVER.
You are not the first. I guess, I lost my my older brother, then I lost my dad and now I had to jettison the wife. Seems to a means to an end. I went to therapy for about a year. He found it quite remarkable how fast I recovered and that I was able to pull the trigger. I did it for two reasons. Mostly, because I was afraid of asset distribution. Secondly, she asked me one day, why stay if you are getting nothing out of the marriage. Apparently, you are getting something. Then, the open marriage “offer” drove me insane. For a kicker, I filed for divorce on her mom’s birthday. LOL. When she was served, it stated her birthday as the filing date. The mom is evil as well. She made her father crawl back to the marriage because they separated for a year or so. The divorce would had killed him financially, so I guess it was cheaper to keep her. I think they may have an open marriage. The father was never with the mom on Friday nights or Saturday nights. I found that very strange.
Anonymous13Man, it just hurts reading my post. Trust when I say, I am not as pathetic as I described before. I just thought (or engrained in my head) I was doing the right thing. F~~~ what I need, take care of your wife. Marriage is just a raw deal no matter how you slice the cards.
I am going to check the comments from married men. Thank you all again for listening to my banter.
Yeah, take care of your wife.
THE WAY SHE TOOK CARE OF YOU?
What a joke!
F~~~ feeling bad man, I’m telling you that c~~~ doesn’t care if you live or die.
She’s now TWICE divorced FOR A REASON.
Peace man.
I’d care about as much as a woman would towards a man if the roles were reversed
Never seen a woman say “no, don’t send my ex to jail over child support he can’t afford”
Never seen a woman say, “I’m a lying bitch I made up false allegations to stop him seeing the kids, but I want to make it right now”
NFG her
Yea, it’s crazy what some of them make up and say about the father of their kids. Last time I checked, it takes TWO people to make a child. You know, for decades now there have been sperm banks. I am not sure how many women use them because that would deny them child support. What a f~~~ed up world we live in these days.
Yeah, take care of your wife.
THE WAY SHE TOOK CARE OF YOU?
What a joke!
F~~~ feeling bad man, I’m telling you that c~~~ doesn’t care if you live or die.
She’s now TWICE divorced FOR A REASON.
Peace man.
Sage advice.
Anonymous13The mom is evil as well.
Oh man, why am I not surprised.
She made her father crawl back to the marriage because they separated for a year or so.
Of course she did, she’s a c~~~ and wasn’t finished abusing the poor sap.
The divorce would had killed him financially, so I guess it was cheaper to keep her.
Then the true cost was his SOUL.
Anonymous13What a f~~~ed up world we live in these days.
Absofknlutely.
You sound like a good man and your sympathy for your disaster of a human being ex-wife doesn’t lessen you, on the contrary it will make this a lot easier for you to move past.
She, on the other hand… well you know what road she’s headed down.
It’s hard sometimes to let go of the pain and anger… there are men still choking om the red pill years after having it shoved down their throats… but you’re fortunate that you can rebuild without that albatross around your neck.
Don’t let anyone try to talk you into hatred. You may as well hate the clouds for raining and the wind for blowing for all the good it would do you. Women are just doing what nature tuned them to do… some may revel in it and some may do it without realizing it, but they’re all just reading the script that reality handed them and they’re not capable of doing their own rewrites. You can’t hate them for it, just recognize and avoid.
Anonymous13I’m sorry man, sorry I took off on you there.
No, you shouldn’t stop caring, that’s who you are.
Just don’t feel bad for HER.
SERIOUSLY.
Your post triggered me because I saw EXACTLY the same s~~~ and behaviour from my ex during the last few years of the marriage.
I tried everything I f~~~ing could to save things and to stay with my daughter for as long as possible.
That strategy got me removed from my life in the back of a police car.
F~~~ these reprehensible, lying, cheating utter c~~~s and the f~~~ing brooms they flew in on.
You have a heart bro . PROTECT IT .
It is a control thing with woman . Like a trophy on the shelf . If you fall for her poor me attention s~~~ i guarantee you will regret it . The f~~~ you up mode will double like her confidence in cheating you .
Good to have empathy wise to protect it .
WARNING Don’t get involved with an ex on any level . If kids are involved it is a business deal .
THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .
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