How to be more about myself?

[alternative_rooParticipant 26]

Well I’m getting over depression, as usual there were no resources around me for depressed men, it was all women’s shelters and so on.. So I have to deal with it myself.

Anyway, I really want to go to my allotment and get started on clearing it.. I really want to get back to my martial arts classes and down the gym seriously but it’s like I now keep forgetting or trying to find excuses to get out of it.. I’m trying to find motivation but nothing is really clicking.. Any advice would be good.

[DurdenParticipant 1051]

I know what your talking about depression is a difficult thing. It very well may be that you have chemical imbalance. It could also be that your stuck in a rut. It’s tough to get your life going again but once you do it becomes much easier. For example imagine pushing a ferris wheel. Its going to take awhile and be difficult to get it started. But as it moves faster it gets to the point of all you just having to tap it while it goes by. Find a purpose for you life. Find out who you are and make a bucket list.

Keep pounding man Keep pounding

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything

[ClintParticipant 331]

Sounds like you are having trouble building habits. Tips for making these activities into habits:

–do it every day. Habits are exponentially harder to build when you do them a few days a week instead of every day.

–understand you only have a limited amount of willpower every day. You can’t just will yourself to do anything all of the time or you’ll exhaust yourself. For this reason you should do the things you want to do in the morning if possible.

–make it easy on yourself. don’t try to jump into 2-hour lifting routines right away. You may have been able to do it before but it is going to be difficult to pick up where you left off. If you’re getting into lifting, do 15 minute workouts first. Do 1 set of the exercise to get the feel of it and to get your mind rewired for doing it every day.

-Don’t miss a day. NEVER miss 2. If you miss a day, you forgive yourself and you make that thing you missed the most important thing you do today. if you miss 2 days in a row you are basically starting over. Don’t allow yourself to lose the momentum you’ve built.

-This one is important: Embrace the process. When you start a habit, the beginning is going to be the hardest thing you ever do. All you are going to think about is quitting, but if you get past 10 days or so, you go from horrible to just uncomfortable. Then once that habit is just about in place it’ll become ever harder to quit than it is to keep going.

I’m paraphrasing from a video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXYAEtht4_w

If you need any other resources about certain aspects of getting back into things let me know.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

To me it all starts with diet. You are what you eat. It is easy to be motivated about this because you have to eat. You have to understand diet to make serious physical gains. It also helps save money by working on your diet. I think by starting with what you eat everyday and concentrating on that, you will find that not only does a proper diet save money and help you look better, it will make you feel better as well.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

alternative_roo wrote:

Well I’m getting over depression, as usual there were no resources around me for depressed men, it was all women’s shelters and so on.. So I have to deal with it myself. Anyway, I really want to go to my allotment and get started on clearing it.. I really want to get back to my martial arts classes and down the gym seriously but it’s like I now keep forgetting or trying to find excuses to get out of it.. I’m trying to find motivation but nothing is really clicking.. Any advice would be good.

You are not alone, and do not allow ANYONE (including yourself) to think it is un “manly” to be depressed. Life has always been brutal, but I believe it is more brutal on men in todays day and age then before.

 

I have struggled with depression off and on for over a decade. Especially after I lost both of my parents when I was in my 20’s. Men arent immune to it. I would argue we are more susceptible to it, because we are not only accountable for our actions, but we are more logical thinkers, capable of abstraction, introspection, and deeper thought. Women are not so.

 

As far as advice goes:

#1 dont beat yourself up for the way you are feeling

#2 dont isolate yourself. This is VERY difficult to do when your depressed. Its natural to be a recluse and not be around anyone, but this exponentially magnifies the problem

#3 talk to people you know you can trust and are authentically concerned about your well being,

#4 exercise. Even if it is merely a walk, it will help balance you out. If its strenuous enough your body will release endorphins, and it will lighten your mood.

Resident cynic.

[FitzBonesParticipant 304]

I found little goals to be of exceptional help in dealing with depression. Set yourself little, achievable goals each day; say day one you’ll work out, day two another work out. Dont worry about anything else getting accomplished for the day. Just focus on little, achievable bits and pieces. Slowly ramp it up, a goal for the morning and one for the afternoon.. keep building yourself and your habits up.
Workouts are fantastic goals for someone with depression for two reasons. Firstly because the exercise releases endorphins which help enormously in mood and in that feeling of having done something, secondly because depression can be a long term problem and if you can keep doing workouts each day then in a short time you can see the results which is another boost to mood & morale.

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run,"

[WolfParticipant 890]

Snake wrote:

To me it all starts with diet. You are what you eat. It is easy to be motivated about this because you have to eat. You have to understand diet to make serious physical gains. It also helps save money by working on your diet. I think by starting with what you eat everyday and concentrating on that, you will find that not only does a proper diet save money and help you look better, it will make you feel better as well.

+1

[DilbertParticipant 281]

On average, you have to repeat something about 30 times for it to become a habit.

1. Pick one (maybe two) new habit to commit to.
2. Get a wall calendar (very important) and write on  it the next 30 instances of the new habit (may be every day, every 3 days, etc.).
3. Every morning, look at the calendar and remind yourself of just the next instance and verbally, out loud, say when and how you are going to do it.
4. After doing it, cross out that instance on the calendar
5. Ignore tracking the days as it will build false confidence and tempt you to “skip” or compromise.
6. By about the 20th instance you will find yourself strangely drawn towards the new habit, looking forward to doing it, and feeling odd if you happen to miss it.
7. After the last instance is crossed off, celebrate in some way.  You will actually find it difficult to stop doing your new habit.
8. Go on to the next habit(s) you want to develop.

It really is that simple, but also that hard.  An inconsistent/irregular lifestyle makes it much harder.  While developing new habits, also commit to a more regimented, consistent lifestyle.

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Snake wrote:

To me it all starts with diet. You are what you eat. It is easy to be motivated about this because you have to eat. You have to understand diet to make serious physical gains. It also helps save money by working on your diet. I think by starting with what you eat everyday and concentrating on that, you will find that not only does a proper diet save money and help you look better, it will make you feel better as well.

 

I can not fathom anyone who has seriously dealt with depression offering this advice. So if one is questioning the existential value of the human experience the answer is to eat more veggies? How does that help?

 

If the guy said part of his daily “diet” included heroin, I could see abstaining from it as an option. Otherwise, consuming organic food and becoming a vegan isnt going to aid ANYONE with depression.

Whats next – advise him to take yoga and study astrology?

It is also WAY more expensive to eat healthy than it is to eat unhealthy. Compare the dollare menu at Mcee-Dees to organic fruits and vegetables. Nothing wrong with a healthy diet, but it doesnt even BEGIN to broach the subject at hand.

Resident cynic.

[WolfParticipant 890]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

I can not fathom anyone who has seriously dealt with depression offering this advice. So if one is questioning the existential value of the human experience the answer is to eat more veggies? How does that help?

I don’t entirely agree. Will a good diet cure depression? No. Can a bad diet make depression worse? Yes. People who don’t have medical depression can feel like s~~~ if they eat nothing but junk food and do no physical activity.

I see nothing wrong with recommending that he eat well, exercise, get outside and smell the fresh air. Nothing bad will come from it.

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

I get all my macros and protein on about 50 dollars a month. It’s funny hearing “eating healthy is more expensive” – yeah, maybe if you can’t use a calculator and shop intelligently. And I advise to take martial arts over yoga. Yoga is for dumbass women, martial arts is for men. Learn how to defend yourself. And learning *astronomy* is definitely a positive endeavor, and a stress reducer. If you do not know how to locate Polaris, the north star, you are a dumbass and can’t lead men out of a wet paper bag. *Astrology* is some dumb f~~~ing s~~~ women believe in. Carry on.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Wolf wrote:

Ancientwisdom wrote:

I can not fathom anyone who has seriously dealt with depression offering this advice. So if one is questioning the existential value of the human experience the answer is to eat more veggies? How does that help?

I don’t entirely agree. Will a good diet cure depression? No. Can a bad diet make depression worse? Yes. People who don’t have medical depression can feel like s~~~ if they eat nothing but junk food and do no physical activity. I see nothing wrong with recommending that he eat well, exercise, get outside and smell the fresh air. Nothing bad will come from it.

I agree that nothing “bad” can come from a healthy diet, but that doesnt change the fact that it is a trite, vaccuous platitude which offers nothing to the problem. Consuming veggies and skinless chicken breasts are NOT mood altering, and will not address depression issues. Its a complete misnomer. Imagine someone saying they have a cut in their skin, and they are bleeding and someone responds “take cough syrup”. Its a COMPLETELY wrong perscription for the situation at hand.

If one is depressed, NO amount of healthy food is going to alleviate that sorrow. Give me a break. In fact, its precisely the opposite. Women call certain foods “comfort foods”. Doughnuts, fatty, carbohydrates that do NOTHING in a metabolic function yet appease her emotions. I am not arguing that he should binge eat to feel better, but the antithesis is a joke of a remedy. “Im depressed with the cold, hard, brutal reality of life”…”Eat healthy”. Thats a f~~~ing nonsensical reply.

Resident cynic.

[QcummerParticipant 652]

Advice can go on for days, but one thing for certain: TO DO

You and I can think all day long and just be sitting. Perform an action. Stay occupied. Surrender your self pity and move to the next activity.

Also, try to embrace the depression. Get p~~~ed off until you jump up and start moving (even if that means doing that laundry that has been sitting around all week).

Hope this helps. I know it’s a catch-22 when it comes to what we really want to do and what we feel like doing. Just do.

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

Yeah, that was kind of what I was disagreeing with: the notion to do anything at all. There is no need to do anything but eat, sleep, and s~~~. Concentrate on those. That is all that is needed for happiness. If you can’t be happy with eating, drinking, sleeping, and s~~~ting, then you are creating problems that do not exist. Read some Zen Buddhism.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Snake wrote:

*Astrology* is some dumb f~~~ing s~~~ women believe in. Carry on.

“Astrology” is precisely what I said, however your reading cimprehension is atrocious. This, wise, sage advice to eat “healthy” if you are depressed, is coming from the exact same individual who said if you are “BORN” a male, you are f~~~ing over other males lol…

Oh, and nice avatar btw. Truly exhibits your ridiculous, inept mentality.

Resident cynic.

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

“Ancientwisdom” you could train for 20 years and not even be a flea on my nutsack. I would scratch you off my b~~~~ with my motherf~~~ing paws, as Snoop said. You don’t even understand the nature of the system. I explained it point blank.

Do we live in a gynocentric government? yes
Have you ever paid taxes? yes

Then you are to blame. Logic, kid. F~~~ off and die.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Snake wrote:

“Ancientwisdom” you could train for 20 years and not even be a flea on my nutsack. I would scratch you off my b~~~~ with my motherf~~~ing claws, as Snoop said. You don’t even understand the nature of the system. I explained it point blank. Do we live in a gynocentric government? yes Have you ever paid taxes? yes Then you are to blame. Logic, kid. F~~~ off and die.

LMAO – you are more predictable and boring than a woman. I LOVE it, keep it coming! Mr. Macho “Snake” man telling me Im a flea on your b~~~~ LMAFAOOOOOOOOO 😃.

 

“Dont be born, or your guilty”. This is the pinnacle, and consequense of your “wisdom”.

 

Your avatar, coupled with your ignobale posts, truly reflect your lack of a grasp maturity or higher thinking capabilities.

Dude posts hes depressed. Your reply? “Eat healthy and take martial arts!” <—-SOOoooooOOO bad ass!

Avatar: “Snake, a REAL man”<—BAD ASS BRO! YOU LIFT?

Has disagreement online: “Your nothing more than a flea on my b~~~~!”<—— SoOooO bad ass bro! Douchebag f~~~ing central!

Your so pathetic lol 😃

Resident cynic.

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

I don’t think you heard me, I said f~~~ off and die.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Try taking a cold shower it can help reduce depression.  Another thing you can do is meditate.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Snake wrote:

I don’t think you heard me, I said f~~~ off and die.

Oh “snake” I heard you, but I dont listen or adhere to your advice; just like noone else has in your life. So you should be accustomed to it…,

Perhaps you should change your avatar to Sylvester Stallone in Rambo, Maybe THAT will fit your inept intellect more properly and give off even MORE of what a “macho” man you are (?).

Your CLEARLY miserable. I pitty you. I hope you get (mentally) better, soon- for YOUR sake. Good. Luck,

Resident cynic.

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