To the guys who were married: What was your marriage like?

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3293]

When you are dating a woman all she thinks about is the marriage and the happy ever after fantasy she has in her head. During this time she thinks you are great and overlooks all your faults. Once she is married she then moves on to the children and her retirement as she is now a stay at home mum sending you to the plantation. Once the children arrive your sole purpose is to go out to the plantation and pay for stuff, sex is now rationed for when you buy something expensive.

The seven year itch is a real thing, she starts fantasising about the c~~~ carousel and how much she misses it. If she is hitting her mid to late 30s you are doubly f~~~ed as she will me worried about her looks and SMV and wants validation and the tingles back.

She now sees you as the enemy, you are stopping her being happy by being around. She wants you out of the house, but still paying for it so she can f~~~ Chad.

When women are on the c~~~ carousel they want marriage, when they are married they want the carousel. You cannot win, the only way to win is not to play.

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[JustAnotherGuyParticipant]

Won'tGetFooledAgain wrote:

The seven year itch is a real thing

7, 5, 3, 3, 1, 1, 1, done. Statistically.

Her checkpoints are 24, 29, 32, 35, and 40.

Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805

[narwhalParticipant]

I agree with BrainPilot. We’re going to have different stories of bad behavior, but it’s the marriage contract that removes consequences from the behavior.

When we were about a year into the marriage, she told me that she thought marriage was going to change me…she was clearly disappointed. Of course, I thought the opposite, that marriage wasn’t going to change her. I think that sums it up pretty well. But even that can be somewhat expected. People do change and it should be something you deal with. However, marriage creates such an imbalanced dysfunctional environment, it makes it very difficult to change.

I’ll also add that there is something about us that makes it easy to blame your spouse for all the things that go wrong in life. Some of it’s warranted, but much of it is external stresses in life and your own short comings. Once the divorce is past you, it becomes clear that the external forces are still there, and you’re still you.

Ok. Then do it.

[OldschoolParticipant 2481]

I had a great marriage, healthy sex life wih very few and far between disagreements. I came home from work one day to her telling me she wants a divorce. 17 1/2 years down the tubes.

Get a vasectomy.

[SuggestiusParticipant 3312]

Oldschool wrote:

I had a great marriage, healthy sex life wih very few and far between disagreements. I came home from work one day to her telling me she wants a divorce. 17 1/2 years down the tubes.

It’s pretty cowardly.

Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)

[Buller100Participant 2189]

Arcturis wrote:

I’m technically unqualified to answer this, as i’ve never been married, but I can tell you what I’ve seen from married friends:

ENSLAVEMENT

None of them get to do what they want. You’re a slave to her and she’ll use your children to keep it that way.

You can’t have a drink when you want. You can’t do things you want and you certainly can’t spend any of your own money because every penny you earn she has a plan for it.

I have friends where the woman DIDN’T EVEN TAKE HIS LAST NAME. – They’re setting themselves up for a divorce to make it as easy as possible.

Your view is correct , I was married like many I did it to make my girl happy , her family pressures.

Sex went west .when you are with the same person every day its boring they turn into you best mate girl, if you are lucky.

Compared to most I have heard I was lucky my ex was hard working and not a spender, but it is boring no matter what women you get after 2 years you wont want to f~~~ her.

The saving grace was no children , so a clean divorce and free again.

Like many men of my age I married as it was the thing to do, the West teaches you to put women first , some guys never learn about their nature once you see it you will never take them serious.

Marriage is poor for a man, unless he marries a wealthy lady he can divorce and get money , but that is as rare as rocking horse s~~~.

[HermitParticipant]

Wasn’t even married yet and had just finished moving all my s~~~ into her house. She was bitching at me because I didn’t come home soon enough for her after returning the moving van. Should’ve turned right around and moved all my s~~~ back out. After getting married, it was mostly just as s~~~ty. There were brief periods here and there where I wasn’t completely miserable, but mostly…..misery.

I am so f~~~ing happy to be out of that marriage s~~~. I couldn’t have picked a worse wife if I had tried. I’m assuming most women would be like her. Doesn’t matter. I’m never taking the chance. There is no logical reason for legally binding yourself to a woman and I’ll never make that mistake again.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[LionOnTheLooseParticipant 1315]

ForeverDone wrote:

Wow. Just wow, Sorry dude. You put up with way too much. Please, don’t do this again.

Thanks mate. Quite right: I have been getting steadily more red pill over the last three years and, while I know there are always traps out there, I swear I’ll never end up there again. I’ve changed a lot and have become a lot more confident; no one tells me what to do anymore.

Arcturis wrote:

Wow Lion – this is quite a story. Scars have made you stronger my friend.

It has indeed, Arcturis. Thanks brother. In a strange way, I’m glad I’ve been through this because I’ve been thoroughly red pilled in my 30s, and I have a life of freedom ahead of me. As I just said, I’ve also learnt so much about myself, and sure of who I am.

There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.

[DocParticipant]

It was painful. It shouldn’t have been.
We married – 11 months to the day my son was born.
15 months and 5 days after my daughter was born.
9months after that she threw me out.

35 months and it was all over.

I wanted it to work. The kids deserved that.

Trust me – what ever comes out of a woman’s mouth, even at the alter don’t mean s~~~.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

You guys just chose wrong women. Try again. It’s your fault. (LOL)

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

I got married the first time because I was following the script to a happy life. Work hard in college, go to professional school, marry a hard working wife, buy a house and have kids. Partners.

No. Therapist. American women want therapists to make them happy at all times. They have been taught that men owe women happiness. Happiness eludes most women. Depression is much more common in women than men.

Real depression is worse in men than women as we can see from the 4x suicide rate in men.

I married my second wife to have a child. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I started planning for the divorce well before I met my second wife.

When we had our child I made sure that I could prove I did 50/50 child care even though I worked and she didn’t. The nanny was a witness.

When my second wife left without warning and took our 9 month old son away from me I immediatly filed and had full custody within 48 hrs.

I was a custody prepper.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[QuellParticipant 2538]

Twist wrote:

Quell wrote:

never been married

Take that quote – and have a drink to yourself. You did good, brother. Better than good.

Man these stories have been great. Thanks for sharing guys. So many of us have been through the same grinder but each one of us has a different perspective. I think it is interesting to see how we all ended up here and what made us become MGTOW.

I also find it interesting to see a common theme of many guys having pretty good marriages until one day out of the blue all hell breaks loose. The emotional mood swings of a woman can never be truly suppressed.

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

Wow,

My wife never took my last name.
Once we were married, all of a sudden she wanted a luxury mansion and suv’s. I don’t remember a time when she was happy.
She never cooked one meal the entire time we were married.
She never cleaned. Of course, she wanted a therapist. And she had her church crowd. I was considered an antichrist because I had to take hospital call on some Sundays.
Sex was terrible. She could freeze an iceberg.
I had to work 60+ hours/week to pay off her MasterCard. And I learned that no matter how much money you make, your wife can spend more. I was actually surprised. I didn’t think a women could spend that much money on baubles. (She can and she will.)
I lost my freedom. I had to do everything she wanted. I didn’t see my golf clubs for years.

I don’t need to see the “Walking Dead” show. I have lived it.

My witch ran off with a preacher. Best day of my life. Even though I lost 300k, I got my life back. Do you think I will ever even look at a woman? Hell no. To any lurkers- never get married. Never cohabitate. Never date.

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

Sincere question:

What is this thought process like? I’ve never had it, and I honestly wonder what guys are thinking/going through w/ that line of thought.

Have you never lived alone?

Is it out of a fear of a social stigma or what is it?

I lived alone since I was sixteen except for my freshman year of college and didn’t marry till my 30’s. I cherish my alone time and my STBxW was fine with it at first.

I grew up with great parents, a loving mother and encouraging father. I was taught that you went to school, found a job, then found a spouse, had kids, and lived happily ever after. I was never exposed to the festering underbelly of marriage and divorce. I was fully blue pulled and following the script of ‘how to live a happy life’. No one lets you skip ahead to the scene with your tribulations of emotional abuse, gas lighting, parental alienation, and divorce.

Our society can’t function if families aren’t formed and children born. So, they lie, ignore, gloss over, or over-dramatize divorce to the point of hyperbole. Media and film depict divorce as the result of infidelity or abuse, which are common and valid reasons. However, little attention is paid to the spouse with the personality disorder that renders them toxic to the relationship. Sure, we read about the narcissistic spouse, but is so over-dramatized to seem comical. It’s the narcissistic wife who wants her husband murdered to take his company or money. It’s not the middle class wife who emotionally cripples or isolates her husband from his friends and family in an effort to control every aspect of his life. It’s not exciting or sexy. It’s depressing, generating fear when you see the similarities in your own life. You are exhilarated to be the millionaire CEO thwarting your wife’s attempts to murdered you. You are scared and ashamed when you relate to the average joe who is guilted out of spending any time with his family and friends.

Few of us will ever be millionaires or CEOs and live through the public drama of millions paid in alimony, child support, or the mud slinging of infidelity and secret bank accounts. So, we see ourselves as removed and somewhat inoculated against the divorce theater plastered across the news. No one tells the young bachelor that he is just as likely to get divorced and the custody and financial fallout will be much worse for him. Mr. Celebrity makes 5mil a year and pays her 1mill a year in child support and alimony. He’s flying his kids first class every weekend to come see him. Meanwhile, Joe makes 40k a year and pays 10k a year in alimony and child support. How often do you think he can afford each month to drive 2 hours round trip to see his kids. This is the underbelly no one discusses.

This why MGTOw is so vehemently mocked and reviled. It isn’t revealing THE TRUTH, just a truth. It’s pulling back the curtain to show that the divorce theater fed to us is much worse and more devastating to the common man. More importantly, that it is ignored.

This is how we have scores of blue pilled men continuing the cycle.

What is a tyrant, but one who mocks those who seek redress of grievances.
-NoMore

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

NoMore wrote:

It’s pulling back the curtain to show that the divorce theater fed to us is much worse and more devastating to the common man. More importantly, that it is ignored.

^ True.

Thanks for that insight NoMore.

Resident cynic.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Oldschool wrote:

I had a great marriage, healthy sex life wih very few and far between disagreements. I came home from work one day to her telling me she wants a divorce. 17 1/2 years down the tubes.

What were her arguments when you asked questions? Was it the typical “were JUST growing apart…were JUST not in love anymore” BS narrative?

Resident cynic.

[Author]

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