Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › To the guys who were married: What was your marriage like?
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Ancientwisdom 1 year, 10 months ago.
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I was spermjacked, then tried to make the best of it. Emotionally abusive c~~~ packed on 50 pounds, demanded another child. I constantly tried to do the right thing, but was beaten down constantly. C~~~ spend every dime on useless s~~~, culminating in a secret purchase of a scrapbook store…aborted at the last minute. Violent, jealous, needy, angry, petulant. My marriage was a s~~~ vortex so deep, so wide that I could not see the edges. Upon announcement that she wanted a divorce I was going to set myself on fire. I thought I had no future, no value and everything I worked for was going to be taken away…what was the point of living.
After 6 years of weekly combat in court, I spent $300,000 in lawyer fees, I lost my home twice, lived in a minivan and a tent, and found peace by moving 2 states away. My kids told me to go away, and a court order prevents me from contacting them.
My marriage f~~~ing sucked out loud. Divorce was a miserable process, but learning how strong I really am, this is absolutely priceless. Understanding hypergamy, solipsism and narcissism in women is so valuable.
I really admire you brother, wish I had a quarter of your strength
never been married
Take that quote – and have a drink to yourself. You did good, brother. Better than good.
Relationship prior to signing the contract, solid. After signing the marriage contract, it steadily went down hill. Sex was normally once or twice a week prior to marriage, then it went down to once a week, then once every other week, once a month, then nil. She didn’t cook, she didn’t clean. We turned into roommates pretty fast. I had financial security and a home and car. She, while earning $$$ had little to her name. She paid me back for her health insurance (mine was better than hers), but after that, G-d only knows where the money went. I had access to her bank and credit cards, but she always withdrew a lot of cash. We didn’t have joint bank accounts, but we had joint credit cards to help her raise her FICO score (never gave her access to the cards though). I VAR’d the bitch and learned she was very unhappy, but she couldn’t really say why. She’d make up things to make me look like the bad guy and get sympathy from friends and family. After I heard the betrayal and her refusal to work on the marriage, I filed for divorce. The divorce lasted as long as the marriage.
Now, I am back on my feet financially, she’s treading water financially last I learned with her parents helping her with $$$ at 43. I can say I will NEVER EVER marry again. I have little trust in women in relationships. I recall, when I was working from MY HOME, and she had a day off, she would ask me, when am I leaving or why are you still here? WTF? It’s MY HOME, you’re just a guest. Men, a little tip, if you own your own home and your partner asks to be put on the deed, kick her to the curb immediately. She asked me immediately after marriage, I laughed and said let’s see if we last. Talk to me in 10 years. She hated that response. She wanted ownership in a house which she had no financial interest in. Wow. Talk about gaul. Then again, there was the few times she hit me and I just walked away. I’m nearly 6 ft tall. What cop will believe me? Marriage no longer works. It should be avoided like the plague.
Made the comment before that sex was a factor in both of my marriages. Sex was used to get me, and when it stopped, I was not as willing to put up with the other issues.
1st. At first I was ok with always doing things with her group of friends. Always hosting or going to events like cook outs. Never got around to doing things I was interested in. One of the final straws was cigarette burns in my polk audio speakers, and she was the only one that smoked. When she changed shifts I started looking for exit.
2nt. For a short time we did things together. I even put up with the marathon shopping trips. Just realized shift work played a role in both. When she changed shifts I started to do what I wanted to do with my time. That was unacceptable, I was to be and do with her.
Less then a year after the divorce she was pregnant with another mans child.mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/
I was married twelve and a half years and could write an entire book on this subject.
I was totaly aware of the enslavement of marriage
going into it. It was not something that revealed itself later. For this reason I considered myself
one who was created for that purpose.
To be a father and domesticated family man was accepted by me as my purpose in life.I have been forced by natural events to find a new purpose in life.
To answer the question honestly it was mostly
wonderful knowing I was doing what I was created for.Marriage is not as bad as some believe, but it is slavery. A man knowingly enslaves himself to those
he gives his heart to.I do not, nor will I ever, suggest that any man
trust a female with his heart!Life after marriage is an illusion for it is not
life at all, but merely a feable useless existance.
All your lifes purpose is stripped away and you live
not for your loved ones but for society as a whole.
A heartless cruel society that views you as a total failure in your domestic indeavors.Ten years of my 12 1/2 year marriage was a wonderful
struggle that I was put on earth to endure.
The last two and a half years of my marriage
was hell on earth. Durring that time I went bankrupt
and lost everything including my father to lung cancer. When I needed my wifes support the most was
when her true female nature was revealed to me.I do not recomend marriage, but
I would not change anything about my life now.My new purpose is helping as many men as
possible gain the understanding needed
to realize that true freedom is creating
your own choices and choosing from among
those self definded choices, without accepting
predetermined social norms.This is what my fathers spirit is guiding me to do.
Everything was bliss until the rubber meets the road. My wife started to crack when I needed her the most. First, my father died, she was supportive. A year later I lost another close relative, she started to distance. A year after that, another relative. Then my business started to fail. Most distance. I would later on work through the business issues and return back to my former glory, but without my wife. I even asked her, why not build and work together with me? She said, “work with you”? I’d kill myself. In the subject for kids? Daycare is expensive, and she had a full time job. I work for myself, so I have flexible hours. I offered to stay at home and look after the child. She said, “are you crazy? I couldn’t do this to my child”. Luckily, she couldn’t have kids, so that was a bullet dodged.
All in all, I think she married me because of financial security, not for anything else. Ironically, I divorced her prior to starting a new business to preserve my financial security. The world is a different place now. Women are stronger than we men think. They are also very vindictive and not to be trusted. I date here and there, but after the first one cheated on me, I now know and confirm, none can be trusted. Have your fun with them, use protection and stay on your purpose in life. If you like Russian Roulette, then co-hab. or marry a women, but chances are, you will lose.
Let’s see now. Off the top of my head:
Regular suicide threats from her.
Regular threats to kill me, to call the police, to call my boss and make up some lie to try and get me fired.
Random “phone inspections” to see what I’d been up to.
Phone locked out using a child protection function so I couldn’t install any apps on it or use the internet.
Kitchen knives held to my throat. Because she loved me and wanted me to be a better person.
Regularly kicked out of the apartment in the middle of the night for no reason and made to sleep rough before being let back in in the early hours of the morning so I could get into a suit and go do the City finance job I hated and which I had gone into to “provide”.
Giving me black eyes on holiday. Because she wanted to help me be a better person.
Throwing my dinner in the bin as “punishment” if I angered her for no reason.
Made to dismantle my laptop and smash the hard drive up in front of her so I couldn’t watch porn.
My doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, food shopping, maintenance. She literally did nothing. She used to sit there on the sofa while I vacuumed the floor, and would be pointing and like “you missed a bit there”.
Completely isolated from all my family and friends. Falling out with my parents because she was like “who’s more imporant to you, them or me?”
Being phoned up in the middle of the night while she was away and made to go around the apartment on Facetime, turning on all the lights and opening up the wardrobe to prove to her there was no woman hiding out there. (What woman would have put up with that lol?)
Being at screamed at in the streets so loudly that one guy one time started laughing and filming the whole thing on his phone.
Spending the most obscene amounts of money to try and make her happy, none of which worked.
Frequently being spat at in my face.
I accepted it all. It was all my fault, and I wanted to fix it. Of course, it wasn’t and I didn’t.
Looking back, I think I can put my finger on the exact moment I snapped. It was after 6 years of marriage and 13 of being together. She ended up working away from home and I flew out to visit her one time. She met me at the airport and we got on the train, but she rapidly flew into a burning rage because I had spent some time on the plane not watching movies. Yes, you heard that correctly. She said: if you’re not watching something, maybe you’re thinking about things. Maybe you’re cheating on me. She’s screaming so badly at me on the train and demands that I get off. I do. I’ve got these enormous suitcases I’ve brought out full of s~~~ she wanted me to bring her. I have no money or ticket so I have no choice but to walk the remaining 50 minutes to get where we were heading on foot. It was a particularly harsh winter, well below zero. I set off with the bloody suitcases and she’s now calling me on my phone and screaming at me, and I’m begging her to forgive me. This whole scenario has been played out millions of times before.
And I just thought: F~~~. THIS. S~~~.
I got back in touch with one of my old mates I’d lost touch with, using a secret email address when I was at work, told him everything, realised just how deeply f~~~ed up the whole thing was, and planned my escape. Two months later, I was gone and she didn’t even know where I was. I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and didn’t sleep properly for over a year afterwards because I had nightmares every night about her, but eventually that passed. I divorced her and it dragged on but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as many of the guys’ on here, not least because there were no kids. I’ve completely rebuilt my life in the last 3 years and am happier than I’ve ever been.
To anyone reading who’s in a situation anything like this: there is always hope. No matter how bad it is, you can get out. So long as you are alive, you can get out.
In answer to your other questions, I thought she was the love of my life blah blah and stuck with this unbelievable s~~~ for way longer than I should have done because of that, because I’m not a quitter, because I’m not going to be another divorce statistic blah blah. Thank God that, in the end, I was.
There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.
Like hell, living with a devil.
Peace brothers
Let’s see now. Off the top of my head:
Regular suicide threats from her.
Regular threats to kill me, to call the police, to call my boss and make up some lie to try and get me fired.
Random “phone inspections” to see what I’d been up to.
Phone locked out using a child protection function so I couldn’t install any apps on it or use the internet.
Kitchen knives held to my throat. Because she loved me and wanted me to be a better person.
Regularly kicked out of the apartment in the middle of the night for no reason and made to sleep rough before being let back in in the early hours of the morning so I could get into a suit and go do the City finance job I hated and which I had gone into to “provide”.
Giving me black eyes on holiday. Because she wanted to help me be a better person.
Throwing my dinner in the bin as “punishment” if I angered her for no reason.
Made to dismantle my laptop and smash the hard drive up in front of her so I couldn’t watch porn.
My doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, food shopping, maintenance. She literally did nothing. She used to sit there on the sofa while I vacuumed the floor, and would be pointing and like “you missed a bit there”.
Completely isolated from all my family and friends. Falling out with my parents because she was like “who’s more imporant to you, them or me?”
Being phoned up in the middle of the night while she was away and made to go around the apartment on Facetime, turning on all the lights and opening up the wardrobe to prove to her there was no woman hiding out there. (What woman would have put up with that lol?)
Being at screamed at in the streets so loudly that one guy one time started laughing and filming the whole thing on his phone.
Spending the most obscene amounts of money to try and make her happy, none of which worked.
Frequently being spat at in my face.
I accepted it all. It was all my fault, and I wanted to fix it. Of course, it wasn’t and I didn’t.
Looking back, I think I can put my finger on the exact moment I snapped. It was after 6 years of marriage and 13 of being together. She ended up working away from home and I flew out to visit her one time. She met me at the airport and we got on the train, but she rapidly flew into a burning rage because I had spent some time on the plane not watching movies. Yes, you heard that correctly. She said: if you’re not watching something, maybe you’re thinking about things. Maybe you’re cheating on me. She’s screaming so badly at me on the train and demands that I get off. I do. I’ve got these enormous suitcases I’ve brought out full of s~~~ she wanted me to bring her. I have no money or ticket so I have no choice but to walk the remaining 50 minutes to get where we were heading on foot. It was a particularly harsh winter, well below zero. I set off with the bloody suitcases and she’s now calling me on my phone and screaming at me, and I’m begging her to forgive me. This whole scenario has been played out millions of times before.
And I just thought: F~~~. THIS. S~~~.
I got back in touch with one of my old mates I’d lost touch with, using a secret email address when I was at work, told him everything, realised just how deeply f~~~ed up the whole thing was, and planned my escape. Two months later, I was gone and she didn’t even know where I was. I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and didn’t sleep properly for over a year afterwards because I had nightmares every night about her, but eventually that passed. I divorced her and it dragged on but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as many of the guys’ on here, not least because there were no kids. I’ve completely rebuilt my life in the last 3 years and am happier than I’ve ever been.
To anyone reading who’s in a situation anything like this: there is always hope. No matter how bad it is, you can get out. So long as you are alive, you can get out.
In answer to your other questions, I thought she was the love of my life blah blah and stuck with this unbelievable s~~~ for way longer than I should have done because of that, because I’m not a quitter, because I’m not going to be another divorce statistic blah blah. Thank God that, in the end, I was.
Wow. Just wow, Sorry dude. You put up with way too much. Please, don’t do this again.
Sorta like having a boss who pushes you to put in extra hours and produce more and more for no benefits.
They’re always on your a$$ about something. You can’t please them.
You come home and you can cut the tension with a knife; some days thicker than others.You just can’t come home after a long day, put your feet up, smile and thank the Lord for another productive day on this Earth. They just don’t want to see you content.
And if you fight ha…hope that you don’t! Because then your life will become a real nightmare. Sh*t can go from 0 to 100 in a few seconds and turn your life upside-down instantly.
https://youtu.be/VPPZPvJ2v4IAs you worry about the bs, your health slips, you take on bad habits (smokes, strippers, etc.) and end up paying out huge bills to moving companies and lawyers.
And of course the kids…but that’s too long to go into.
But if you can make it through this. And some of you with b~~~~ of titanium will. Then you will have yourself a wife. Congratulations.
One last thing: you don’t have to worry about any of this bs though. Because you’re an exception and bad things don’t happen to exceptional people. Come on what are the chances? She’s a cutie and all yours! Damn brother, put a ring on it! Don’t listen to this old dog, I’m just another bum, a “loser”.
Like every great zombie or vampire movie, marriage starts off quite lovely for you the hero, but then once you say I do….[cue evil laugh]. From Dusk’Til Dawn, captures this nicely, with George Clooney, when him and Tarantino step into that bar.
It’s awesome at first…
until, unholy fcuk…
But by then it’s too late…
"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another" - H. L. Mencken
I thought I had the devil. But reading some of this, holy f~~~.
It was great from the start…We hang together, did a lot of fun things and I could do what I wanted to do…After a few months, tantrums and demands slowly crept in…The pay was not enough…I had to work more to provide more…She went shopping and spent money on her side of the family while I was blamed for everything…
She would be okay, then at a drop of a dime be cold the next without me knowing why…I risked my life trying to earn more but it never was enough…Soon I was alienated from my friends and told I was at fault for her unhappiness…It drove me to depression blaming myself until I realized everything was her decision…Everything was her choice…
I was played like a puppet masterfully..To be slowly broken by sweetness then blameshifting the next…She latched on to someone else and kept insisting they were just friends…I knew in my gut it was over but I was a blue pilled idiot who believed in “love” and “commitment”…It was all a lie…It was the moment when I went to the hospital alone and asking her to help me with an episode…She refused to come with me to the hospital…So much for in sickness and health…All my hard earned money disappeared on who knows what despite me being a good money manager…It went to zero and she went gone after that…
She left me and tried to break me by blaming me for her unhappiness….Perhaps as a way to justify her monkey branching or to show the “world” that I was not a good husband…She left me in pieces…I though I would never recover but I found MGTOW…My recovery has been faster and I have ghosted her…She is soon going to hit the wall in a few years while I am steadily working hard to build my business and trying to lose 30 pounds of depression weight…I still got 22 pounds to go…
Small victories but victories nonetheless….I will savor the day when I make my fortune and she has hit the wall…She will discover what she has readily tossed aside is ignoring her as I live a good f~~~ing life….
I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...
Marriage can be summed up into this. She has expectations of what being married should be. The reality may differ and if it does significantly differ negatively, you will suffer.
The problem lies in the fantasy society generates for women regarding marriage. They have the fantasy boyfriend, fiancé, and wedding. These are all temporary occurances that you, as a guy, can beg, borrow, or steal to keep up appearances. Your marriage can not be indefinitely supported in this way because marriage is for life. You can not eternally rob peter to pay Paul forever.
For the first 2 years, I was able to change my schedule, build her a huge house, and fund her going back to school which she wanted and made her happy. Unfortunately and unknown to me, she treated everyone around her like peasants, because she was married to a doctor. No one she knew wanted anything to do with her.
I continued, blissfully unaware, to work full time, hire a maid, do all the yard work, wash my clothes, cook my meals (because I work an irregular schedule), pay for her school, etc. Our child comes along and suddenly she is the one that is overburdened. She has numerous babysitters at hand and I am told that my job is a vacation from being a parent.
I drew the line after I heard her tell out kid that I was ‘a s~~~ty father’. The divorce struggle is fierce. She is bending every ear and trying every legal means she can to secure a golden parachute in our divorce. I have tried at every turn to be fair and negotiate with her and have been met with abject greed and malice.
Do not subject yourself to this willingly brothers.
A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!
Great subject Quell.
Some very interesting, and quite disturbing stories.
I was surprised by a few who said they had wonderful marriages. For those that did, why are you here?
I’m assuming you don’t want to go out and try and meet anyone new, but is it because you think the quality of women has plummeted since you met your first wife or what?
Resident cynic.
Got married because I was a certified blue pill afraid of being alone. Found myself saying things about fun stuff like “I used to do that… before I was married”. We’re permanently separated and I’ve never been happier.
We just don't realize life's most significant events while they're happening. Back then, I thought, "Well, there'll be other days". I didn't realize that that was the only day. - "Moonlight" Graham
Got married because I was a certified blue pill afraid of being alone.
Sincere question:
What is this thought process like? I’ve never had it, and I honestly wonder what guys are thinking/going through w/ that line of thought.
Have you never lived alone?
Is it out of a fear of a social stigma or what is it?
Resident cynic.
Great subject Quell.
I was surprised by a few who said they had wonderful marriages. For those that did, why are you here?
I’ve never married or had kids, but find the blue pill world a f~~~ing travesty.
My parents are still together after 50 years, my brother is married 10, but I’m the quiet calm guy who is happy in his own world.
I work with a lot of blue pillers, some married, some divorced, and lots who worship sex and their conquest for getting hooked.
It’s very refreshing to just have a bunch of men talking without the pussy sniffing that goes on in blue pill hell.
"Society is to blame" Denton
It wasn’t a social stigma thing; I hadn’t taken the red pill yet, grew up in a great two-parent home, and figured it was the thing to do. She’s not horrible and I’m not perfect, but I couldn’t take the clutter, always being wrong, no affection, and a dealing with a bunch of other baggage. I love owning a condo, contributing a whole lot more to retirement, getting fit, traveling on occasion and just gmow.
We just don't realize life's most significant events while they're happening. Back then, I thought, "Well, there'll be other days". I didn't realize that that was the only day. - "Moonlight" Graham
Let’s see now. Off the top of my head:
Wow Lion – this is quite a story. Scars have made you stronger my friend.
VERY interesting experiences here.
I drew the line after I heard her tell out kid that I was ‘a s~~~ty father’. The divorce struggle is fierce. She is bending every ear and trying every legal means she can to secure a golden parachute in our divorce. I have tried at every turn to be fair and negotiate with her and have been met with abject greed and malice.
Do not subject yourself to this willingly brothers.
It always seems they just TURN like this. All fairness, honesty and respect just go out the window. Disgusting.
Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUTI have absolutely zero plans to ever get married but I curious what was your marriage like.
The first six months of my marriage were great. We got married when we decided to have a kid. There was a dizzying amount of sex and my wife, who worked part time, enabled me to work my ass off by keeping the house clean. I was in charge of dinner because she could burn water.
Things started to change about 1-2 months before the kid popped out, but it was really subtle and I didn’t notice it right away. The sex dried up (as happens when a woman is that pregnant). The housework stopped. The affection went away. The physical contact went away.
The kid pops out and we basically lived two separate lives that only met at 6am and 5pm to baton pass suicide watch. She started going out 4-5 nights a week to avoid me (which wasn’t the reason she gave). I found out sometime later she was cheating on me, she asked for and filed the papers. The kid isn’t even a year old and its parents divorce. And now here I am.
Did it start out with high hopes and the sort of petered out as you grew into different people?
The whole marriage thing was, to me, just a formality to get insurance benefits. I was operating under the assumption that I was going to be with this woman until I died. She clearly had different plans.
Or did you fight constantly and she was abusive?
I might be in the minority here. We never fought, not once, in five years. Never even so much as a heated argument. I am clinically detached and logical to a fault. Whenever she got emotional, I just never registered it. I guess you could say I passed the s~~~ tests.
I think this is why she filed for divorce. I was boring. There was no drama. We had a nice, cozy suburban life and she couldn’t distract herself from her own personal problems (of which there are many) by investing in mine, because I didn’t have any. The two or three issues I had were directly a result of growing up in poverty and just not having rich family to pay for everything (personal debt).
I had a stable life. I got along with her family famously. They loved me. And then one day, poof.
Women are chameleons. They will show you whatever they think you want to see. They have no personality, and they bring nothing to the table.
Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805- AuthorPosts
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