That nervous wait for a solicitor's letter

[UKGuyParticipant 70]

That’s the stage I’m at now. My ex partner and I didn’t marry but we have a joint mortgage.
Any hope of an amicable financial agreement on the sale of the house looks to have gone.

After the split she suggested 50/50 which I was prepared to accept. She put more money in up
front, but I promised to make that up and have been true to my word over the last 2.5 years
more than matching here initial investment.

However, I did suspect there would be a sting in the tail and I was right!

As soon as I put our agreement in writing to her everything changed. First she called me up
saying that 50/50 wasn’t fair and she’d only said that to ‘get things moving’. For the first
time since the split she sounded upset, telling me how difficult the split had been and asked
me to ‘have a think’ about offering her an additional £20k. Obviously I knew only too well
why she was upset and it was nothing to do with me or the split!

50/50 is in her favour not mine, so there was no way I was going to fall for it.
It took 7 minutes from me telling her that for the next phone call to come, and it was a very
different conversation.

She threatened to tell ‘anyone who will listen’ than I’m a domestic abuser and told me
that ‘I can make things very difficult for you, and I will’. I’ve found this before with
women; they beat me because they are prepared to go so much lower than I am.

But not this time.

Solicitor’s it is then.

For the record I did not abuse her, she was the abusive person and I’m pleased to be out of that
relationship. Interestingly her ex was apparently violent and physically abusive. With hindsight
that probably didn’t happen either!

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

The important thing is.

Did you learned your lesson?

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[RomulusParticipant 4667]

I don’t know the laws in the UK. I don’t know the cost of legal representation. If it is anything like in the US, it doesn’t come out an even deal for the man.

If I was confronted with this choice I would counter offer to give in on an extra $15K, and also agree with her that emotionally the breakup has been hard on her, but with the proviso that we agree to a property settlement between ourselves and not thru or with the attorneys involved.

Though I’ll never argue with a guy who has finally been pushed far enough, and decides to stand and make a fight.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

[Heave-Ho MgtowParticipant 1797]

Pay the c~~~ and leave. It’s only money. Picture this moment into your memory.
Walk away and never look back
Temporary pain leading to a lifelong solution. Yes, it sucks now, but you came here knowing that.

skip the cavernous vag and go your own way

[UKGuyParticipant 70]

Don’t know whether this is a UK thing but, because we were not married, the type of mortgage we have means it’s 50/50 and the burden of proof is on her if she want’s anything more.

I’m not paying up. What the f~~~ should I? I’ve put more in than her.

Obviously if it starts to go beyond a few letters I might think again as the legal costs could soon mount up but I’ll keep an eye on that.

Edited to say: The arrangement we have is ‘Tenants in Common’

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10907]

I agree with Romulus but this time record the conversation without her knowledge. Hopefully she’ll blab another threat to you and you can use it to your advantage.
I live in the US and I am unfamiliar with the laws in the UK so if I have given you advice that may worsen your problem, it was unintentional.
Good Luck and keep calm.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[Anonymous 54]

UKGuy wrote:

.

I’m not paying up. What the f~~~ should I? I’ve put more in than her.

There is a price you pay for being at War. It just depends on your prioretys.

Each Man decides for himself.

[Anonymous 42]

How many floaters do you pull from the channel every year?

[Anonymous 13]

UKGuy wrote:

She threatened to tell ‘anyone who will listen’ than I’m a domestic abuser and told me
that ‘I can make things very difficult for you, and I will’.

This C~~~ is now LETHAL to your well being.

This is the EXACT stunt my ex c~~~ pulled.

Result, arrested and jailed, bailed, court case hanging over my head six months. Countless legal bills and visits to lawyers and courts, ruined financially, destroyed socially.

THEN,

The loss of my house and everything I owned because a c~~~ lied about abuse.

This C~~~ can have you arrested with the push of a button.

Do whatever you can to get this c~~~ OUT OF YOUR LIFE UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

Never be alone with this creature.

Get a BODYCAM.

Do NOT doubt you are dealing with an EVIL LYING C~~~.

[bladeParticipant]

50/50 . Courts run strictly by law .

50/50 is a mith and so is the f~~~in justice system .

People dont realise till they hit the machine .

F~~~ COURTS AND THE JUDGES .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Handsome VicParticipant 1613]

Sounds like you need to begin getting advice from a lawyer, since you said any hope of an amicable settlement is gone. Not to mention she is threatening to label you as abusive.

My advice from what worked well for me:

Get bank statements/records of all of your contributions to the property. Down payment, mortgage payments, property taxes, major repairs, everything.

It can’t hurt.

This shifts the onus on to HER to make the case of why she is entitled to 50/50 (or whatever share she wants).

Do not pay anything to her by means of an informal offer, settlement etc. until you’ve had legal advice.

Your thread title says you are nervously waiting for a letter. Why? All hope of amicable settlement is gone. She has threatened you. Is there a good reason why you are waiting to react— instead of taking the initiative?

As mentioned, consult a lawyer. Can’t hurt to get advice.

Good luck

I'm going my own way. Maybe I'll see you there.

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

I wrote an extensive set of posts on minimising settlement figures for UK divorces, some of which may be relevant.

/forums/topic/minimising-divorce-and-settlement-costs/

Similar to yourself, my ex-wife changed her tune considerably after speaking to a solicitor, demanding more which she thought she was “entitled” to, and also threatened to allege domestic abuse if I didn’t comply. It is in her solicitor’s interest to create as much conflict as possible to rack up the fees.

I don’t know much about the settlement process for non-married couples but be aware that the separation process (if applicable at all) has nothing to do with the financial settlement process. Threats of domestic abuse seem to be a default starting position these days. It’s disgraceful.

As suggested by others, get some legal advice but do your own research as well so you are not surprised by anything and act don’t react.

As an aside – it is definitely illegal in the UK to record a phone conversation without the other person’s knowledge.

Take notes on everything, recording dates, times, what was said etc. but if possible do not talk to her directly and do not make any offers. That said, if you can afford it, and some sanity returns and you can find an acceptable middle ground the quickest, cheapest and least stressful option (as mentioned above) may be to pay the bitch and put it all behind you.

Take control, be a hard-ass and get rid asap.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[Anonymous 5]

You’ve stated twice that you weren’t married but were you cohabiting long enough for the law to recognize a Cohabitation relationship?
In Australia (and I think Canada) cohabitation status is exactly the same as a marriage contract. If you live with a female here for two years, you’ve signed a marriage contract by default.

Count your blessings, she’s not pregnant. Furthermore you’re not living together so a domestic violence allegation isn’t near as devastating.

It’s not about right or wrong, good or bad, just or unjust. Weigh up the options of a legally contested outcome.
You should have already spoken to a solicitor before you posted.

[OldBillParticipant]

As the others have already suggested, get legal advice from a professional. Don’t rely on the worthless suggestions of well-meaning amateurs.

Cohabitation or “common law marriage” laws vary by location and Australia is no exception. Each Aussie state has different laws and all use terms like de facto relationship, domestic relationship, and close personal relationship rather than “common law marriage”. You may or may not have been with this woman long enough for the laws of your state to apply but only a solictor can tell you that.

You also need to take her threats of making a false DV accusation very seriously. Tell the solictor you consult with about her threat(s) and ask what steps you can take. Remember, whether you can record her telephone calls to you will depend on the laws where you live and a solictor can advise you on that.

You were stupid to become involved with this woman and buy property with. It’s well past time to be smart and get legal advice.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[bladeParticipant]

OldBill wrote:

Remember, whether you can record her telephone calls to you will depend on the laws where you live and a solictor can advise you on that.

Telecommunications act . There was a floor in it years ago . I used it in my trail wich the judge asked me to get legal advise after i stated what i did . I had half an hour to back up the law i stated at the time . So i raced up stairs seen a caxton free law advise in the court . LEGAL . The judge then had to wipe the family reporter because she refused the evidence and i caught them out on some other things back then . I represented myself and completly had them f~~~ed . So bill i once was not how i am today and have my problems as to why i am how i am . My f~~~ing kid layed on a bed last year while some c~~~ was made a judge to cover themselves . Two kids seperated for another year and both left in a f~~~ed up home at the hands of a mediator bitch last year . Yep like here is a mother who abandoned one of my kids for like the fourth time with sending that one child a 1000 km from her sister . Living a thousand km away and that mediator bitch didnt see that as a problem .

So xmas comes and i am the one trying to reunite two kids and look after my father with parkinsons along with all the other s~~~ .

Doubted and judged forever more . Nfg . God is my judge

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[OldBillParticipant]

blade wrote:

Telecommunications act .

Do you live in the same nation, state, or province UKGuy does? Have any changes been made to the act you mentioned between when you cited it in court and today?

UKGuy needs professional advice. All we can do to truly help him is tell him to get that professional advice.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[bladeParticipant]

OldBill wrote:

blade wrote:

Telecommunications act .

Do you live in the same nation, state, or province UKGuy does? Have any changes been made to the act you mentioned between when you cited it in court and today?

UKGuy needs professional advice. All we can do to truly help him is tell him to get that professional advice.

Back when i recorded i looked into the telecommunications act because i was told to be careful .

If uk guy types into google for his nation and state he should find something on it .

Your a smart guy bill i do respect you and didnt mean to sound snappy .

Maybe say telecommunications act uk recording phone calls .

I remeber part .

It was legal to record a telephone call as LONG AS THE RECORDING DEVICE ISNT CONNECTED OR INCERTED IN THE DEVICE TO BE RECORDED .

But i rolled that speal of in that court room .

I had caught people that involved them selves on a criminals say so been the ex .

My recordings have been seen and are not kept just on my premises .

So uk guy take some investigating of your own along with a lawyer if you are unable to or do not want to represent yourself because it is very very draining on your self .

So yes i do agree to get legal advice from a proffesional but do research of your own .

Those recordings caused me alot of s~~~ . A cop actually stopped the s~~~ storm well a few good people in 2010 .

Ps . Thanks bill . Peace

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

Oh one more thing on recording .

Do not coherse the person i remember that .

If you listen to mel gibson rants you can here her cohersing mel gibson .

At 3.00

One thing to all you guys that record if people know you have done that or do that they will be wary of you . Positives and negatives .

I did what i did for very good reason and not just for myself .

Not into it anymore the recording . Past all that it doesn’t work .

I personally will never have faith in the system . To many innocent men . Genuinely innocent men .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[UKGuyParticipant 70]

Thanks for your comments everyone.

I had already taken legal advice before posting, but had hoped his role would be purely advisory/precautionary. Unfortunately, the previously amicable arrangement has turned in to a battle. He told me that, due to the type of mortgage we have and the fact we are unmarried, the burden is on her to prove that she should receive any more than 50/50. He says that any decent lawyer will tell her to split 50/50 and avoid large legal costs plus the potential for me to claim back mine if I ‘win’. But that doesn’t factor in lawyers who see the potential to make money regardless or her spitefulness at this stage in proceedings.

I’ve been through every bank statement etc since we moved in here and I’m 100% confident that I’ve more than matched her input in to this house. I was confident anyway since it was always my intention to cover every penny she put in for the sake of being ‘fair’ but now I know it can be proven.

I’ve also told my lawyer about the threats. He thinks I shouldn’t respond at this stage as they are unlikely to affect any financial outcome unless there is significantly more to them than ‘threats’. (He probably means unless you actually did abuse her and she can prove it!).

No letter today or over the weekend. Just a waiting game now…

Thanks all

[OldBillParticipant]

UKGuy wrote:

I had already taken legal advice before posting…

That’s excellent to read, UKGuy. Having all the bank statements and other paperwork at hand was very wise of you. The little bit pf preparation has already paid substantial dividends.

Regarding the threats she has already made. The solictor is the professional and you should follow his advice. You’ll note that he said you shouldn’t respond at this stage. While you shouldn’t respond to her threats, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t document the same.

It was wise of you to inform him of those threats because you’ve given him information which can establish a pattern of behavior on her part. Do not hesitate to tell him about any future threats she makes of any kind. She’s making a mistake by issuing threats, so let her keep giving you ammunition you can potentially use against her.

Let her run her mouth and then tell your solictor about it. Never interrupt an enemy while they’re making a mistake.

She will not hesitate to try and f~~~ you over in any manner possible. She’s already threatened to use the gynocentric legal system against you. Those actions mean you should have no compunctions about legally hammering her. Do not hesitate to put the boot in when the opportunity presents itself.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Author]

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