Thanks Dad! [beer]

[BalthazarParticipant 722]

So I had a pretty nice vehicle that had no problems but was a little bit older model year. Some 24 yr old c~~~ rear ended me as I was turning into the driveway for work about a week before thanksgiving. the insurance company totaled it because the value wasn’t high enough vs. cost of repair. the dumb c~~~ was likely texting as her insurance company made no qualms about the incident. I’m a package delivery driver and from thanksgiving right up to xmas is 6 day weeks of f~~~ing hell. I got a nice rental for a couple weeks then had to rush to find another vehicle as work left me no time to search thoroughly enough to find one in as nice of shape as the c~~~ destroyed previous car.

I settled on a vehicle that’s in not too bad of shape. no rust, interior and exterior look good and all of the important working components are good. but it seems like a ton of little things keep cropping up which is super disappointing. the previous car had nothing wrong with it and overall was a nicer car with more luxury options and what not. i live in the great northeast US and the other day, the blower fan quit working which could almost sideline a vehicle with all of the snow and ice and what not. i knew it was either the blower motor or a fuse blew. it was a pretty simple operation, i had to remove a cover underneath the glove box to get to the motor, i tapped it and voila, it works. this is my solution for now until i buy a replacement.

so to bring it back around to my dad…he’s a master mechanic that’s worked on everything from grass trimmers to earth movers and k-loaders(cargo plane loading platform). “master” is no s~~~, he worked on the local military base and when G W Bush came for a visit, they made sure he was the one that checked over the stair truck that the president would walk down. it was him out of every one on an entire base with 4 battalions and what not.

he’s been there providing for me my whole life. i’m a pretty intelligent and high minded guy but am a working man through and through largely because i saw the honor of it through his example. i’m 30 yrs old now and my parents are still there to help when i occasionally get in tight spots (almost exclusively caused by impregnating two different c~~~s). but the point of this thread is to mention lessons and knowledge that he’s passed on to me as a man trying to grow and learn a boy into being another man.

i’m not a mechanic like him in the sense that i’m not an advanced troubleshooter, he would call me a “parts changer” which is someone who is handy enough to do most jobs but can’t diagnose difficult things. even still i have managed quite a bit and saved myself thousands of dollars working on my own s~~~. i’ve actually done some pretty advanced things like entire engine rebuilds and what not with his guidance but i figured i would mention a list of things i’ve managed all on my own thanks to him teaching me.

oil change
changing tires
brake jobs
replace master cylinder
wheel hub/bearing replacement
tune ups
shock/strut replacement
fuel level gauge replacement
tie rod bushing change
leaf spring change
valve cover gasket replacement
alternator replacement/serpentine belt change
starter replacement
coolant pump replacement/pump inline/outline replacement
coolant system/radiator flush
replace air lines for air/gas combo shocks
headlight/turn signal replacement
various sensor replacements

i don’t know, there’s a lot more that i can’t remember but I’ll describe a couple more examples in detail to close it out. One vehicle was throwing the check engine light on because of the EGR valve which for those who don’t know, mixes a certain amount of exhaust back in to the fuel mix to burn up more emissions. There was nothing physically wrong with the part.

I did a bit of research and figured it out. The problem was that the computer thought it was open when it wasn’t. 0 volts means closed, 5 volts means all the way open. But there can be a variance in voltage yet the computer can’t always make the adjustment. Using his diagnostic computer i figured out that there was a voltage reading that told the computer it was a touch open even though it was closed. the solution to reset the voltage range was to clear the malfunction code with the EGR valve sensor unplugged, plug it back in and start the car. fixed

the final example is a time he was helping me and finally realized how capable i am. not all of his lessons have been positive reinforcement but that’s ok. a large reason why i didn’t spend more time getting deeper into it was that when i was younger, he was impatient and always made the job about the job and not the lesson. if i was having a hard time doing something, he would just take over for the sake of finishing the job.

anyhow, we were replacing an oxygen sensor in a vehicle and had to use a torch to get it out due to rust/corrosion. when it was heated up, i tried to loosen it but gave too much pressure and turned the threads out along with the sensor. we went to tap and recut the threads but couldn’t get it in. he got really f~~~ing p~~~ed imagining having to pull a whole other exhaust line out of the parts vehicle he had out back. meanwhile i remained calm and continued to try to tap and recut the threads deep enough to get the new sensor in there and i did. once i announced my job well done, he said “good job”, which was a really big deal believe it or not.

so now i have the knowledge and work ethic to pass on to my son the same way he did to me. and along with that, i’m trying to remember to always be a little more patient and to make the lesson about the lesson and not the job. in a way my father has helped to teach me to be a better or more complete man than himself, which i know is what he always intended.

so…thanks Dad, i love you! and i thank you for my life.

This body holding me is a reminder of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal and all this pain is an illusion.

[bladeParticipant]

Those of us that have had our fathers in our lives are very lucky . I feal sorry for our modern day kids .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

I now look after my elderly father with parkinsons while the rest of my c~~~ family have abandoned him due to having nothing left of value to take . Love ya dad

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[BalthazarParticipant 722]

my father’s dad left him when he was a young child and he was left to the real life hell that is mentioned over and over again here, being raised by an abusive single mother. it was this experience for him that motivated him so much to be there for me in my life. i am ever grateful.

This body holding me is a reminder of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal and all this pain is an illusion.

[BalthazarParticipant 722]

bump for my dad, cause he’s awesome haha.

hey guys, i know you can relate. what’s an invaluable skill that you owe to your old man?

This body holding me is a reminder of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal and all this pain is an illusion.

[HitmanParticipant]

blade wrote:

I now look after my elderly father

God bless you brother blade.
you are doing something that is sacred.
no tougher thing ,
yet you are fortunate to have this chance.
..to love him enough to care for him,
helps him,
and will grow your heart and soul to heights unimaginable.
like a saint my friend,
you give of yourself.
.
this will not last forever,
but one day when he is gone to rest,
you will have been given a gift,
that the women in his life turned down.
the reward is yours blade.
..those women don’t know what love is at all.
we will be here for you .
you are not alone my friend.
.
for centuries the sick were cared for by religious orders,
if you do this work,
you will be blessed.
please believe me.
it’s worth all the effort.

[BalthazarParticipant 722]

Hitman wrote:

blade wrote:

I now look after my elderly father

God bless you brother blade.

for centuries the sick were cared for by religious orders,
if you do this work,
you will be blessed.
please believe me.
it’s worth all the effort.

it’s because of this type of selfless, altruistic behavior, passed down and adhered to, generation after generation of men that any of us are even here. women are inherently selfish creatures. men are the true caretakers of “man”kind.

thanks for pointing that out hitman

This body holding me is a reminder of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal and all this pain is an illusion.

[HitmanParticipant]

Balthazar wrote:

it’s because of this type of selfless, altruistic behavior, passed down and adhered to, generation after generation of men that any of us are even here. women are inherently selfish creatures. men are the true caretakers of “man”kind.

thanks for pointing that out hitman

anytime my brother.
my Dad is deceased almost 10 years.
a WW2 vet,
proud to be American,
son of immigrants who LOVED this country.
so much that he fought for it.
tough man,
i miss him sometimes..
the last few years he was sick,
so i cut his hair,
shaved his beard,
helped him shower,
brought food and cooked for him,
held his hand the day before he died,
we made peace.
no regrets.

[bladeParticipant]

Thanks guys . It just amazes me the destruction been done to the youth of today by the absence of father’s . Woman doing this s~~~ like they are some nurturing god . Even like in my fathers situation where the grand children don’t even bother to jump on the phone to say hi to him . He sent three presents to my c~~~ sister for his grate grand children . Not one f~~~ing call . Out of his pension money he spent a bit . All he received from my c~~~ing sister was a barrage of calls on s~~~ from the past about her ex husband that she has told her son his father raped her witch we told him wasn’t true a year ago and never seen him since . He was wanting to find his dad . Same as my ex telling my younger daughter the same . But i take my father for coffee every day and sit with a group of elderly people witch i hear simalar stories mostly well always from the men . Not one of them has grand children they don’t see and have some of there kids that don’t bother with them . F~~~ woman .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 42]

blade wrote:

Those of us that have had our fathers in our lives are very lucky . I feal sorry for our modern day kids .

The same thought crossed my mind! I’d be dead from an overdose or something else really bad if not for my father’s presence in the home, especially when I lived in the city! He kept me busy working while my friends without fathers fell into every self destructive pattern imaginable!

[Savage WillParticipant 181]

My dad’s dad left him after his mother had another child which was not my granddad’s. So my grandad went back to his native place. Actually he came back after a while to take my father under his custodial care but my grandmom’s second husband wouldn’t comply cos they were living in a tribal area. It was a conflicted area too. We didn’t have much education then. Later he was adopted by another family ( this one is a f~~~ing drag ). A conflicted kid, he must’ve been. But he pulled through and got into the government as the highest cadre of officers. He pulled himself up. But after the divorce it was ugly (where my mom won custody). Now that ive realised his suffering, we talk well with one another. He never really talked much but I understand now. Anyhow karma will serve the bitches what they deserve.

Don't fucking tell me it's nighttime when the sun is clearly shining in the sky.

[bladeParticipant]

FATHERS AND GRAND FATHERS ARE UNDER VALUED .

Children , elderly and men are the victims of the modern day feminism .

Keep marching ladies the cliff is close

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[BalthazarParticipant 722]

i have been very fortunate to have grown up in a middle class home with both parents present. but i can definitely relay a story of my father’s about his own personal victimization at the hands of his abusive single mother.

his mother used to whip him with an appliance cord when he was “bad”. one day when he did something that he knew would upset his sisters and mother, he took the appliance cord and hit it out of sight. when the sisters reported his transgression and the mother (my grandmother) couldn’t find the whip, she made him stand beside the road for an entire day with a “for sale” sign around his neck.

he was (understandably) very distant from his mother and father and so i only had a good relationship my my maternal grandmother. one of the only times i remember conversing with his mother (my paternal grandmother), she only had demeaning and condescending things to say in reference to him. i thank my maker every day that my father could over come this type of abuse in order to stick around in my life.

more times than i can remember, he would ask rhetorically “how much do i love you?” and the answer that he expected me to say was “more than the whole world.” i now have a 2 and 4 year old, and i’ve started to tell them the same thing.

This body holding me is a reminder of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal and all this pain is an illusion.

[bladeParticipant]

This thread has touched a nerve . Great thread op . My mum died when i was 10 and i only use to see my dad around 4 days a week probably for like an hour each day before he went to work . He went of the rails after my mothers death and my siblings are much older and were out living there own lives . They came in for the kill then to and stripped him of cash then f~~~ed of . Yes he did wrong back then by me but it was because of grief . I spent so much time all alone in a big house . I brought myself up . I remember once only once one of my sisters picked me up on xmas day to spend with her and her husbands family . I was 11 by then just after my mum died . I sat and watched everyone open presents and not one for me . I remember clearly trying to hold back tears . I got a photo of me taken that i still have and when my kids came across it they said why are you looking sad . I had my other sister anfd her husband rip me of in a joint business to when i was in mid 20’s .Forgiveness is another key to freedom . But i keep my distance from those that harm .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

Was molested at 5 by a stranger as well witch i kept secret for a long time to . But threw all hardships it has made me who i am today .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[BalthazarParticipant 722]

blade wrote:

This thread has touched a nerve . Great thread op . My mum died when i was 10 and i only use to see my dad around 4 days a week probably for like an hour each day before he went to work . Yes he did wrong back then by me but it was because of grief . Forgiveness is another key to freedom .

hey thanks blade. i think we have all of own own better and worse nature. our ability to forgive others in our lives for their own shortcomings allows us to accept who we are and our own darker selves. and recognizing the good in those same people who have also positively affected us gives us strength to do what’s right. i know that although some things have seemed difficult, i have lived a pretty fortunate life. i’m sorry to hear of your own personal suffering but i am grateful to interact with you and have you share your own thoughts and feelings here in this wonderful resource for men everywhere.

This body holding me is a reminder of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal and all this pain is an illusion.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Blade,

I want to let you know that I quietly admire you. I feel your pain in your posts and believe you are a great man. Thank you for having the courage to share your pain with us. We men need each other and each time I read a post from you I get that.

If I can ever be of service to you I will.

BIB.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[bladeParticipant]

Thanks bib and everyone here . I learn from you all .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 0]

Nice read. My dad was a horticulturalist and didn’t know anything about mechanics. However, my uncle was really good with anything mechanical or electrical. I still remember the smell of his neatly organized shop, camel non-filters, oil, and wood. I learned a few tips from him but mostly I learned that I wanted to be like him and be able to fix stuff. I took automotive mechanics in high school. That helped some, but I mostly learned everything on my own, making a ton of mistakes and f~~~ups. I trashed the valves on a 1978 KZ650 trying to change the valve shims on my own. I can do it now. A few years ago I successfully did it on a 2001 Hayabusa. You are very fortunate to have had a father like that.

[ScoutParticipant 33]

Thanks guys. This is the best thread I have seen here in a while. I too can sense the pain in these posts and can relate to it in a lot of ways. I appreciate the openness and honesty of you guys. This is great therapy for me.

"Now remember, things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is". - Josey Wales

[Author]

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