Tails of Monkey-Branching

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Warratah wrote:

The only communication you should be having with a BPD/NPD is about the welfare of your children. Anything else is just playing a role in her gameplan.
NO CONTACT.
NO CONTACT.
NO CONTACT.
These are incredibly destructive and manipulative individuals.
She has sent you one e-mail and already you’re giving her headspace. This is EXACTLY what she wants. She’s still pulling your strings and pushing your buttons. Are you enjoying it? I guarantee you, she is!
NO CONTACT.

(PS – I’ve been there, done it, got the t-shirt)

Understood. But when you have children with a BPD, they will always have some space in your head until the day they die. The goal is to limit that space and the frequency of contact. And if I just ignore her or are too big of a dick to her, then it will set her off.

For anyone still reading this thread, let me repeat how the fire triangle and a narcissist are alike. It takes 3 things for a fire: heat, fuel, and oxygen. Take away any one of the three and a fire won’t burn. For a narc, they are the heat source. The fuel is anything you have ever said to them in the past, and the oxygen is the attention you are currently giving them. So, when a narc wants a fire, they will take some old fuel and add a little heat to it. Your response is the amount of oxygen the potential fire will have and will determine whether or not the narc creates a fire. Once it does, it will keep bringing up old s~~~ (fuel) in the hopes that you will fight back (oxygen), creating a bonfire.

Since I have two children with my narc, I can’t supply no oxygen at all. So the line I walk is to provide as little oxygen as possible without starting the fire. What she provided me in her email was a mountain of fuel. Luckily these are large logs, not kindling. The kind that are hard to start burning without some gasoline.

Order the good wine

[WarratahParticipant 895]

I know, Tax Guy, I have children too. Today is my youngest daughters birthday. I have to figure out a way to smuggle a message through to her to let her know that I love her and that I’m thinking of her.
And I know that is going to release a s~~~-storm.
But my daughter is still little and we were once very close and she needs to know that I haven’t forgotten her.
I hate NPD/BPD. They turn everything into s~~~.

...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus

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