Suicide?

[bladeParticipant]

This is disturbing brothers to me to because i do not take this s~~~ lightly. But the reason been just money says a deeper issue. A mental health problem if this is not a drunk or drug rant . To you op if your reason of money and success is the reason get face to face help immediately. This s~~~ is f~~~ing serious and not a word to be taken lightly as it will detract from those that are serious on this word . You better f~~~ing answer bro because alot of us are concernd

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

THIS s~~~ ain’t no f~~~ing joke man . We have all put our concerns for you up front . Think in the time this thread has ran how many have taken there life . You need to answer bro . F~~~ money

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Psl47Participant 678]

I gave answer for money see earlyer page

.

[bladeParticipant]

F~~~ this . You are an attention seeking arsehole. Many have taken there life in the time this thread has run . Men children and woman . You should be ashamed of your self. I reacted and did not read your reply properly just panicked for your well BEING . F~~~ YOU. HITTING THE F~~~ING MANGINA BUTTON .

I take this word serious km and care for those that are at this point and this mother f~~~er is playing like it is a f~~~ing joke light word .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 6]

truly unstoppable

[bladeParticipant]

When you get older . Wow . Not impressed .

This is a very serious word

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Psl47Participant 678]

Blade , was your answer directed to me ?

Russky , also cut out alcohol as its proven it is – depresant
And if youre a smoker – throw this s~~~ away , because it makes you feel s~~~ about your self

I was heavy alcohol and smoke abuser , very heavy… ( 7 years alcohol and 12 years smoker .. ) its possible to quit … without any medicine.. i know what i am saing ,

.

[bladeParticipant]

Not at all brother

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Psl47Participant 678]

blade wrote:

Not at all brother

Thanks 🙂

.

[bladeParticipant]

I care about life and in real life i am NOT how i COME Across here . This subject i have dealt with and at moment a innocent young woman from a corrupt person of government. Manh people including our brothers have been at this poing witch this detracts from those that are serious. Love all human life this f~~~s with me .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

Im writing this so anyone can see this and if it helps someone to rethink/reprogram himself then good, definitely. My thoughts are all over the place, it’s a dark chapter of my life that was a complete mess, and is a mess to even remember :

Last summer I was working in hospital, Had 20-40 patients to work with/help daily. It is a hard, low paying job as a patient-care person but it was so rewarding coming back from work every day, every day someone thanked me for doing my job and helping, that satisfaction lets me know that Im in a right place in life. Every morning rejuvenated and eager for contact, for work with people and for people.

If I was to end my life 6-9+ years ago, I would miss so much satisfaction in life, I can’t believe.

I was ‘nursing’ a patient with terminal cancer, it started from prostate and metastasized to his spine, he was paralyzed from waist down.
He was on morphine most of the time, and all he wanted was to get home from hospital to at least be in a place he loves (his Home).

His pain was so severe that he couldn’t be transported at the time I was working there. His old wife was there 24/7 with him caring for him aswell.
He was reading newspapers and telling cool s~~~. Still he was there. Cool guy. He reminded me of my father who I do still miss. He was also very cool.

Unfortunately my father was paralyses since I was like 7 years old, and committed suicide when I was 16. His kidneys were failing, p~~~ and pus. His humor kept him going for years and love for his family. He was miserable that he couldn’t do any Father/Son activity with me that he wanted.

When he was gone It destroyed me, I was a shell of a human, walking automaton for 6+ years. My father didn’t think how his suicide would impact my life, I don’t fault him, he didn’t foresee it. I broke up with girlfriend, I left my education (Vehicle engineer), then left another one (PC sciences, Design) and every profitable job opportunity I had. I was at my PC 24/7 watching s~~~, playing games, getting fat. I didn’t do drugs or alcohol (lucky) else It would definitely worsen my condition.
I used to be athletic and able to run for miles, well …not anymore at that time, It was hard to even get up from a chair. Forget hygiene. I had dinner and breakfast at night and was sleeping whole day. I was looking like s~~~, felt like it and I was one.

Comedy shows kept me going. I was on a brink to letting it go and join my father. When I was alone it was the worst and I was almost constantly alone, I stopped calling friends and rarely called back or let them visit me. I was constantly asking myself, WHY Im here and WHY live, I was driving myself mad. Still I didn’t commit to end it.

At some moment years in to depression something clicked in me, and I was seeking help, and with a help of a friend I reapplied to get medical education. Year before it I lost weight to get myself in shape, I was on a water diet for a whole year ( no coca-cola or sugar in tea, no tea at all, eating less and eating dinner at evening, not night etc.) then I was swimming for a whole summer, once a week and running in the woods. I was preparing for my new life.

How is this all related to your situation or any other depression ?

I appreciate what I have even if it’s not much. I enjoy humor, no joke is too dark and no sunrise too bright. When people whine about bad weather It makes me laugh inside and almost in their faces, as I admire nature and the beauty in every day now, I learned to appreciate it.

I can walk to my fridge and crack open a six pack and enjoy that cold beer, I enjoy swimming in lakes, rivers and sea at summer, every year whole summer. I found what I like to do, and how to relax and have fun, despite every single bad thing in the world.

Im still here. Im fit again. I study and work with people, patients, I helped myself first, so I can help others now.
I hope that you (or people reading this) will find that same rejuvenation and hunger for life as I did. Find things you enjoy and gravitate towards Life. Remake yourself.

Let go of the negative thought, parasites, other people opinions letting you down. You can change yourself and your life with time, just keep on pushing trough even if you don’t see the goal, like going trough a sandstorm, keep pushing. Bright sky’s and fresh lands ahead, enjoyment yet to be discovered.

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[Anonymous 42]

Do some suicide on a corrupt official and live another day!

You heard of the additive “an apple a day”.

An apple a day keeps the tax man at bay!

[Enjoy The DeclineParticipant 1719]

blade wrote:

I care about life and in real life i am NOT how i COME Across here . This subject i have dealt with and at moment a innocent young woman from a corrupt person of government. Manh people including our brothers have been at this poing witch this detracts from those that are serious. Love all human life this f~~~s with me .

Blade, I think you are being too super sensitive here. You even questioned me at one point and you really have no idea how much I have studied from this site’s archive as well as how many deep topics I have started before you came registering to this site. It would of been a big disappointment if I was all of a sudden banned from this site after I put a lot of work in writing so many well thought out deep posts, since I do not even find writing in itself enjoyable, but I have such passion in writing posts in this site that for once, writing has actually become a pleasure.

"Question everything" - Albert Einstein

[bladeParticipant]

Over money there is no excuse to suicide . The p~~~ing and moaning over money and not the kids or family i will make very clear to all i don’t givd a f~~~ and it should never be a point of intrest . I have losg everything twice f~~~ing over and that is the very least of my worries .It should never be a point of focus . Kids first and lives of all . F~~~ money f~~~ing sick of it . So f~~~ing what we have all been through financial hard times . Samd with f~~~ing child support been the major factor . I don’t give a flying f~~~ . My 13 year old threatend suicide then this mother f~~~er wants attention over money . Not buying it . How many men in the world has killed them selves as this thread has run . Ps i didn’t include the kids or woman .All life is important. F~~~ing money .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

Brl enjoy thd declind i to was once called tuna . Nothing against you but this subjecg i care about you all and those that are genuine on this . Md and you might have our differences. But you are a brother

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[bladeParticipant]

I old school you new school . I like you been here enjoy the decline . This is not a dispute with you but the subject of the matter .

Ps . I lurked for a very very long time before joining .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[JVBParticipant]

Don’t be a wanker. You probably have 60 years of misery ahead of you, or not. Choice is yours. Suck it up and move on with no f~~~s given. So now that you’ve gotten all this attention from us please don’t do it.

Peace is > piece.

[WallyParticipant]

If considering suicide, get some true face to face help, all the brothers on here have spoken truth.

We have all gone through dark times, release the ideas that weigh you down and move on.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[JimBoLeaParticipant 1891]

I THINK ITS A MISS DEED IF WE SEE A FELLOW BROTHER CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE AS A WAY OUT OF A PROBLEM. NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHIN IS WORTH YOUR LIFE IN THIS WORLD. A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM. TO MANY PEOPLE THIS DAY AND AGE THAY THINK ITS THE ONLY WAY. IT’S NOT. I CAN TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING DOWN THE BARREL OF A GUN. IT’S NOT THE ANSWER, IT JUST MAKES THE S~~~UATION WORSE. YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES. IT ADDS UNDUE HARDSHIP TO THEM. AND IT’S A VERY SELFISH THING TO DO. SO DON’T DO IT. BEING IN MY 50’S HALF BLIND, CAN HARDLY WALK ANY AMOUNT OR DISTANCE. GIVING MYSELF INSULIN SHOTS 6-8 TIMES A DAY. HAVING TO WEAR COMPRESSION HOSIERY ON MY LEGS AND FEET BECAUSE OF NEUROPATHY, OFFING YOURSELF BY DANCING WITH A TRAIN IS NOT ADVISABLE, MOREOVER YOU’LL JUST GLANCE OFF. HERE IS MY EMAIL jimbolea47@gmail.com IF YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE I AM HERE 24/7

LILITH IS THE HEAD SUCCUBUS AND SHE LIVES ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

[experiencedParticipant]

I’m not even to page 2 here, but:
don’t even consider it.

Ideas:
1) Pray
2) Pursue pain … that’s right, pursue pain via what will help you later. For example, study something really hard. Go workout til you bleed, Clean the s~~~ out of your car like you’ve never cleaned it before.
Work on something, Anything past the point of pain.

Net result =
You reaffirm to yourself, that You are in charge.
You get endorphins and dynorphins that make you feel even better.
You have something that you didn’t = a detailed car, a new knowledge, a new strength.

You, not some online c~~~, offline c~~~, etc.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Author]

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