Strained Relationship with Father

[KillmandrillParticipant 497]

Nice thread,
going through a similar story with my broke Dad. Has been going on for 10 years now. Had to stop supporting him, money I saved over two years handed out to him, only to figure out that he borrowed 30000 $ from his sister. Been supportive over the years, repairing/maintaining his classic cars, carrying heavy stuff that he was unable to (back probs.) although I have a bad back too… and so on. Was on alert to help. No more.
I had it and I did let him know with clear words. He´s living in a boarding home after he lost his appartment which he spent lots of money on dragging it to court again and again to keep it.
He never thought of retirement or had plans therefore, never paid in a health insurance, so he only get´s emergency treatments.
His cars could keep him afloat, but he won´t sell them (100000€ market value). They are registered on my brother so they can´t be confiscated by any trusters or officials. He does not pay for his garages where he keeps the cars. I assume that he is trying to sue them for something.
My Dad lived beyond his means for years, no way to change that. I had to let go and learn to refuse.

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. Friedrich Nietzsche

[Symmetric MGTOWParticipant 570]

My father died when I was very young. Nothing could ever fill the void he left in my life. With that said, there is not a lot you can do for your old man if he is on a path to self-destruction. All you can do, in any case, is to enjoy his presence in your life the best you can until he is gone.

Good luck, brother.

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

I hope that you have other family members with you to set up a meeting with your father. Give him an ultimatum. No more money unless he’s serious about getting healthy. It’s not your fault if he wants to destroy his life. He has to be sober to realize how much he’s hurting his family. You shouldn’t have to face this situation alone. Sometimes organizations, like Alcoholics Anonymous, can refer you to people who have gone through this experience. Perhaps their advice will be better for you. Best wishes to you, pal.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

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