Following in Morlock’s and Fermat’s footsteps…
1. She’s no wimp. Single moms are tough and independent.
A: Not really, no. Perhaps by “tough” they mean “prone to anger and violent outbursts”?
2. She’s already a great mom. (And weren’t you looking for someone who would be a great mother? Look no further!)
A: A small number of them do qualify as this. A small number. Also, no thank you.
3. She’s incredibly patient, but doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for bad behavior. She’ll be good for you.
A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
4. She doesn’t play games. She doesn’t have time to just fool around. She takes her relationships seriously.
A: You’ve never actually spoken to any single moms, have you?
5. She’ll only keep you around if the relationship is a good thing for both her and her kids. You won’t have to guess if she’s into you.
A: Considering most of them act totally desperate for attention from any and all eligible men that cross their path I wonder about their idea of “a good thing”…
6. Single moms are easy to pamper. (They don’t get breaks very often. Hint, hint.)
A: If the relationship hinges on pampering, something has gone very, very wrong. Also, again, I do believe the article writer has never spoken to a single mom before.
7. She’s loyal — and is fiercely protective of her little brood.
A: Some, perhaps, but most of the ones I’ve met would drop their brood at the side of the street in an instant if they thought it would make their life better (“better” meaning: partying, getting money, etc). Also ridiculously inattentive for the most part; I’ve seen more than my fair share of single moms who nearly got their kids killed in traffic or by leaving them alone in potentially dangerous situations.
8. She can articulate what she wants and needs from a relationship.
A: I think you mistake “articulate” with “mindlessly screaming her bloody head off whenever you don’t do exactly what she says”.
9. Single moms are both practical and fun. There’s no room for diva behavior.
A: Again, the writer clearly has never spoken to a single mom.
10. She’s no longer a party girl, but a fun night out is still very welcome.
A: Code for “will ride the c~~~ carousel at any and all opportunities”.
11. She’s selfless. Single moms put others’ needs before their own.
A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
12. Moms make the best lasagna and give the best back rubs.
A: I…what? I don’t…what? I’ve never met a woman capable of giving a proper backrub – not even ones working as masseurs! Why the hell would a single mom have some magic touch??? And I seriously doubt the lasagna thing, too.
13. You’ll get to take part in adventures to amusement parks, the zoo and the park. Bonus: You’ll have an excuse to play with toys.
A: Yeah, only an upside if the woman and kids all know how to behave. In my experience, they pretty much never do (she became a single mom for a reason. Hint, hint). Also, I don’t need excuses to play with toys. Outta my way, you age- and gender-biased f~~~er!
14. She’s adaptable. She knows that life doesn’t always go as planned and has learned how to make the best of it.
A: Considering most of them live in abject or borderline poverty as a result of wasting money on things like cigarettes, alcohol, going partying with their girlfriends, jewellery, needlessly expensive food, clothes that don’t even fit, and so on…
15. Single moms can do it all, but are super-appreciative of a helping hand. Woo her with kindness and acts of service.
A: In other words, “clean up her mess without asking for anything in return”. Yeah, no.
Well, we had fun with that, didn’t we? Now let’s do something actually fun (Hint: not single mothers).
Edit: Also, I got post #23. Hail Eris!
There lies serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the eye of the hurricane.
Grumpy 4 years, 5 months ago.
