Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › S~~~ Tests – Her Issues Confirmed
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So, I am now a couple of months into this site, and have been slowly changing my ways and improving my status. As an update for any who haven’t read my intro… I’m married in my mid-40’s.
Lately, I’ve been pushing back, and sometimes quite hard. I’ve started using NO though not as much as I should have, have eased into it somewhat. I’m struggling to put up details and maintain some anonimity (spelling?) but let me try to break it down.
Wife has been seeing a shrink. Shrink told her a lot of things I have been telling her and it has set her off majorly. Instead of improving her behavior it has actually deteriorated in the last week or so. Tears and s~~~ tests are more frequent now. I’m not passing most of them, but I am ignoring many. The worst part is I know what to do, what to say, but am struggling to do so for the sake of the family and my daughter. That isn’t where I want to be, and I’m holding onto the status quo while I prep.
Wrenches keep getting thrown into the prep work as well. Am thinking of starting a thread here where I can be held accountable by others (which I think might motivate me more) to accelerate my journey. Kind of an ‘own your s~~~’ thread like i have seen on Reddit.
I have removed Reddit though from my reading, too many ragers on it attacking people who seem to have legitimate questions, are just starting out, and get the s~~~ kicked out of them for it.
This feels really rambling and is probably that… but what I am trying to say is the ‘s~~~-test’ is real, is tough for men who are starting this journey and to hang in there. I expect it will get better… and reading the threads here proves it does… so I’m hanging in there and to the other new guys, hang in there too. It will improve.
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
You’re in a tough spot and unless you have made a choice to get out then you’re going to have to do what you can there. One MGTOW thing that works, married or single, is to improve yourself. Do what ever you can tobetter yourself, and don’t get caught up in making her better. 1. You can’t make her better, and 2. it enables her to act even worse.
If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.
A s~~~ test is all about CONTROL.
You starting to say ‘No’ has removed some of her power. Now she wants it back and she also wants you back ‘in your box’.
Everything goes swimmingly until you say ‘no’ Then all hell breaks loose and the world as you know it comes to an end.
Keep saying no and the s~~~ tests will increase in velocity until eventually she s~~~-tests herself into a corner by threatening to leave you.
Then it’s just one more ‘no’ and then Bob’s yer uncle!...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus
*****Healthy relationships REQUIRE healthy participants.*****
This cannot be stressed enough. If you or she is not healthy then your relationship / marriage WILL suffer. Get yourself healthy and do what you can to get your wife healthy [knowing that “you cannot make her better” — Frostbyte]
When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
Anonymous54Dont take any crap from a woman. But dont wear yourselfe out either. Pick your battles. Ones you can easily win. Get divorced. Great advice huh? I dont think divorce is that bad for kids in that it teaches them not to settle for abuse.Teaches them that there must be mutual respect and careing or Dad leaves.
Lately, I’ve been pushing back, and sometimes quite hard. I’ve started using NO…
Instead of improving her behavior it has actually deteriorated in the last week or so. Tears and s~~~ tests are more frequent now. I’m not passing most of them, but I am ignoring many.
Here’s a thought. Remember how you felt when you first discovered the truth about women’s behavior through MGTOW? Remember the rage, the confusion, the collapse of a major foundation in your life? Well, I would imagine women go through the same thing when they begin to realize that the man they’ve been manipulating for so many years is starting to wake up. And the trigger word is “no.”
The collapse of a relationship — even a horrible one — is a traumatic thing, so don’t beat yourself up for feeling confused and angry and lost. Many of us men on the forums, who’ve gone through what you’re going through now, for brevity’s sake, dispense advice in a flippant sentence or two, “Hey dude, dump that bitch. Just walk away. You’ll be better on the other side of divorce.” But make no mistake, we’ve shed our tears already. We’ve walked in that darkness. And it’s not a darkness we always want to revisit.
So stay strong and follow the path of what you know to be true. Good luck and keep us posted.
The worst part is I know what to do, what to say, but am struggling to do so for the sake of the family and my daughter.
Think about what you just said right there. If your concern is what’s best for your daughter, then saying and doing the right thing is the obvious choice. She’s watching you, and a father is supposed to demonstrate good behavior to their children. She will pick that up way better then whatever instruction you give her. She will learn that a woman can manipulate a man the way her mother has.
When I made the wrong choices in my marriage, I did it to avoid conflict, to keep the boat from rocking. It did it was because easier and what I thought was less risky. It was never really what was best for my kids.
I’m not saying you should up and get a divorce, I’m saying stand your ground for your daughter’s sake. Use that as motivation to do the right thing when you feel in doubt.
Ok. Then do it.
Enjoyed your post.
The worst part is I know what to do, what to say, but am struggling to do so for the sake of the family and my daughter.
I have said this before many times, but if you have to “game” your wife just to make it “work”, it’s like you’re alone in that relationship/marriage anyway.
You have to constantly be operating on a higher plane than she. Being aware and adjust your reactions and responses, and saying things that don’t come naturally (or first) for you. Just to make it NOT FAIL?? It still doesn’t mean it “worked”.
But there are little things you can do, and the first is knowing a “s~~~ test” when you see one. Even SHE is not aware of them, so you need to be.
That isn’t where I want to be
Try a little “amused mastery”. Apply a little Tom Cruise.
Whenever anyone says anything that he doesn’t like, or he doesn’t know what to respond with (which makes him uncomfortable) … he flashes a s~~~-eating grin. I do this myself in real-life situations when I need a moment.
It may sound silly but it works.
It also helps to ask these 4 questions:
• “That’s interesting, Why would you say that?”
• “That’s interesting, Why would you ask that?”
• “That’s interesting, Why would you DO that?”
• “That’s interesting, Why would you think that?”This buys you time and it’s amazing what will be reflected back to you.
Can you give some examples of the type of “s~~~ tests” you’re speaking about? Some are far more serious than others. There’s a difference between the little ones like “does my ass look fat in these pants?”.… and “if you don’t fix the bathroom tiles, there will be no nookie for you tonight”.
Let her s~~~ tests be FUNNY to you, because you know exactly what she’s up to.
A s~~~ test is all about CONTROL.
Exactly.
her behavior it has actually deteriorated in the last week or so. Tears and s~~~ tests are more frequent now
“What a GREAT advantage a man can have over women, if he only knew what cold and calculating thoughts are going through her mind… while her eyes are brimming with tears”.
– The Manipulated Man.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.You’re in a tough spot and unless you have made a choice to get out then you’re going to have to do what you can there. One MGTOW thing that works, married or single, is to improve yourself. Do what ever you can tobetter yourself, and don’t get caught up in making her better. 1. You can’t make her better, and 2. it enables her to act even worse.
^^ This, have been. Have dropped some weight, continue to improve through study and MGTOW, as well as I am trying hard to fix the p~~~ poor position I’m in at work as well.
Lately, I’ve been pushing back, and sometimes quite hard. I’ve started using NO…
Instead of improving her behavior it has actually deteriorated in the last week or so. Tears and s~~~ tests are more frequent now. I’m not passing most of them, but I am ignoring many.
So stay strong and follow the path of what you know to be true. Good luck and keep us posted.
This is excellent and I appreciate the support from all here… doing my best to not whine about it but keep everyone up to date in a way that other noobs can appreciate and potentially learn/question to get answers.
The worst part is I know what to do, what to say, but am struggling to do so for the sake of the family and my daughter.
Think about what you just said right there. If your concern is what’s best for your daughter, then saying and doing the right thing is the obvious choice. She’s watching you, and a father is supposed to demonstrate good behavior to their children. She will pick that up way better then whatever instruction you give her. She will learn that a woman can manipulate a man the way her mother has.
When I made the wrong choices in my marriage, I did it to avoid conflict, to keep the boat from rocking. It did it was because easier and what I thought was less risky. It was never really what was best for my kids.
I’m not saying you should up and get a divorce, I’m saying stand your ground for your daughter’s sake. Use that as motivation to do the right thing when you feel in doubt.
Well said, something I really need to ingest and bring to fruition.
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
“What a GREAT advantage a man can have over women, if he only knew what cold and calculating thoughts are going through her mind… while her eyes are brimming with tears”.
– The Manipulated Man. Esther Villar wrote this???? A woman dispensing ‘Red Pills’ Awesome. I have to dig that book from my library and read it again.No wonder each time my now X cried…it really p~~~ed my off. Tears from women are not always from pain of fear but from anger and loath. I really miss my cat.
Don’t be surprised if she kicks you out of the house, in the near future. It usually comes out of nowhere. Women find reasons to stop loving men, in parts, then when it’s time, they kick you out, that’s why it’s easy for them. It’s process, for them.
It’s like a point system.
Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.
Don’t be surprised if she kicks you out of the house, in the near future. It usually comes out of nowhere. Women find reasons to stop loving men, in parts, then when it’s time, they kick you out, that’s why it’s easy for them. It’s process, for them.
It’s like a point system.
I understand, but that might be a bit tough, since I pay for it, it is an apartment and my name is the only one on the lease… but in today’s lawyer society that probably doesn’t mean much.
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
If you refuse to leave, then her next recourse is a false domestic abuse claim. It would be wise to start recording conversations as much as possible. In some cases you can alert the police that she is likely to do make a false claim so that they look for signs of a false claim when she does call.
I really hope it doesn’t come to that, as your daughter will likely get pulled into this. Without knowing your daughter’s age, that could be very bad.
Ok. Then do it.
Esther Villar wrote this???? A woman dispensing ‘Red Pills’ Awesome. I have to dig that book from my library and read it again.
Yes sir.
Little warning: That book will punch you in the gut.
It’s one of the only books I read twice.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.It’s one of the only books I read twice.
You’re right,i’m putting on my redpill gear this time to go down again because the first time I wasn’t prepared.
Never lose sight of what brought you here.
You have to say NO more often. And you should really cut off her access to money. If she obeys: she gets her allowance; if not: no allowance.
Seriously: MONEY = CONTROL
A book you absolutely MUST READ is Esther Vilar’s “The Manipulated Man” it will completely turn your world upside down and shake things up at your core. And once you’ve internalized her message you will NEVER view women the same way again.
Those tears by your wife: 90% of the time: they are crocodile tears. She can turn them on and off like you can turn on and off a kitchen faucet.
Reward Good Behavior. Bad Behavior and Tantrums should NEVER be rewarded.
You have to say NO more often. And you should really cut off her access to money. If she obeys: she gets her allowance; if not: no allowance.
Seriously: MONEY = CONTROL
A book you absolutely MUST READ is Esther Vilar’s “The Manipulated Man” it will completely turn your world upside down and shake things up at your core. And once you’ve internalized her message you will NEVER view women the same way again.
Those tears by your wife: 90% of the time: they are crocodile tears. She can turn them on and off like you can turn on and off a kitchen faucet.
Reward Good Behavior. Bad Behavior and Tantrums should NEVER be rewarded.
I have been slowly shifting control. I have read The Manipulated Man, just finished it last week. It rang so true and resonated.
Last night she s~~~ test me by going into the bedroom, putting on something slinky and then coming out and ‘parading’. I appreciated that she had done so but it seriously does nothing for me any more. She was p~~~ed and even though we had been talking over a number of things all evening, she shut down. Which was fine. A half hour later she is back and talking again. Though it was an unspoken ‘no’, it was still a no.
I would love to just cut her off financially, but I know that will accelerate the plan when I’m not ready yet. The interesting part is she has essentially cut herself off as we have no money…
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
You have to say NO more often. And you should really cut off her access to money. If she obeys: she gets her allowance; if not: no allowance.
Seriously: MONEY = CONTROL
A book you absolutely MUST READ is Esther Vilar’s “The Manipulated Man” it will completely turn your world upside down and shake things up at your core. And once you’ve internalized her message you will NEVER view women the same way again.
Those tears by your wife: 90% of the time: they are crocodile tears. She can turn them on and off like you can turn on and off a kitchen faucet.
Reward Good Behavior. Bad Behavior and Tantrums should NEVER be rewarded.
I have been slowly shifting control. I have read The Manipulated Man, just finished it last week. It rang so true and resonated.
Last night she s~~~ test me by going into the bedroom, putting on something slinky and then coming out and ‘parading’. I appreciated that she had done so but it seriously does nothing for me any more. She was p~~~ed and even though we had been talking over a number of things all evening, she shut down. Which was fine. A half hour later she is back and talking again. Though it was an unspoken ‘no’, it was still a no.
I would love to just cut her off financially, but I know that will accelerate the plan when I’m not ready yet. The interesting part is she has essentially cut herself off as we have no money…
Best of Luck then.
Copy all financial documents…siphon off a little money here and there and build up a reserve on the side.Seriously Gerald, you are trying to be a “good man” for a woman who hates you. I am at the same point as you, just because I get nothing from the situation. My wife has done none of the crazy stuff, no need for a psychiatrist, she’s just lazy regarding me.
Do a little exercise. How long until she starves or gets kicked out of the apartment if you just disappeared tomorrow? If she doesn’t understand that you’ll be fine on the other side, but her life will significantly change then she’s operating on the assumption that your “No”s don’t actually bear any weight.
My wife walked a tight rope for a little bit when I told her we need to talk, but she’s back to her old ways. Please understand that anything that she has pulled is just the early layers. I’m trying to get my youngest (15) to 18. If your child is younger you may have to act earlier just to save yourself.
I am waiting to take action, but only for my kid. Make sure that you aren’t allowing the wife to be your motivation. I can personally understand looking out for your kid, but the sweet thing that you married is gone. She’s been replaced by a harpy that wants to rip out your guts if she gets the chance.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
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