Self-Critical

[ExpendableYouthParticipant 381]

I beat myself up constantly. There are two forms of this though. It can be a positive “kick you in the ass/light the fire” kind of thinking– which produces results. OR….it is the other form. This form is very dangerous. It produces very negative results and borderline depression.

I ruminate. I dwell on the past. I’ve had one hell of a past. I currently am renting space in my head for people that do not matter. They are living rent free. I often wonder what if, if only, should I have. I am trapped in my own head many days. It’s a dark and scary situation, but the key is finding the balance which I will describe below.

On the same token. I beat myself up to finish a job or to make progress on certain situations. I will call myself a loser if I do not meet my self-critical needs. It is MOTIVATION, not a MORALE KILLER. When I knock it out of the park, I reward myself. When I plan and be self-critical on what I am doing, I often feel the reward outweighs the potential risk I am doing to myself.

I am who I am. I am who I choose to be. I am not what other’s expect of me. I decided a long time ago I will live my own life the way I please. I have cut out a lot of people from my life (immediate family included), and I am finally at peace being alone. I know this is my destiny, situations and PEOPLE just merely pushed me to it quicker. Call me a loner, call me socially awkward, all of that doesn’t matter because I know I have accepted my situation. I have worked so hard all my life JUST TO BE ABLE TO LIVE AND BE ALONE. My house is so quiet, and I would not trade that for the chance to be a f~~~ing utility again. Amen.

I am the master of my own destiny, and all of you are too. Without others to be critical of you, you HAVE to do it to yourself to EVOLVE and IMPROVE yourself. But I urge many of you to remember, what a few people may think of you– OUT OF 7 BILLION– is pretty unimportant. What you think of YOURSELF will ALWAYS be what matters. You are who YOU have to face everyday. You may not like who “you are”, but you can’t blame yourself fully. You are simply a product of your ENVIRONMENT and the sooner you understand that, the shackles and weight WILL become lifted. We grew up in a f~~~ing war zone, it’s to be expected. You can only control YOURSELF. Once you understand that, expectations will not matter and you will find true happiness inside that many men WISH to achieve.

MGTOW!

[narwhalParticipant]

I used to really beat myself up over mistakes, but I think I’ve over come that for a couple reasons.

– I’d realized that it rarely was productive. Being critical and honest with myself yes, but beating myself up no.

– I realized that often, no body cares but me.

– I realized that something things are just a part of who I am. They don’t need to be fixed.

– I realized that if I honestly admit my mistakes, the damage is much less to be concerned about.

– I remember that Michael Jordan got cut from his 7th grade basketball team.

– I realized that my parents made lots of mistakes, yet I turned out all right. I didn’t have to be perfect either.

– I got a tattoo. Sounds strange I know, but I used to be a very judgmental person. I found fault in tattoos among other things, even though a part of me wanted one. That tat now reminds me not to be so judgmental of myself or others. That other people’s judgment me does not define who I am, nor my judgment of others.

Ok. Then do it.

[SandalsParticipant 4253]

coolthingy450 wrote:

I would have gotten laid at least three times, but for some reason, The voice in my head told to to smarten the f~~~ up, One wrong move and your life is over. I don’t remember why I didn’t bang at least one of them. Guess that’s what saved me from having a kid.

I guess at this rate, I’m going to die alone as a virgin, and a loser according to women.

There are condoms, buddy.

[SandalsParticipant 4253]

LightBringer wrote:

Definitely. It is actually a symptom of depression using ‘should’ statements.

I should work out (I may be fat)
I should have not talked to that girl (then I wouldn’t be sad)

etc

Wow. I have always said we should not use the word “should”. I never put it together with depression. This is one of the ah-ha statements. Thank you LightBringer.

[SandalsParticipant 4253]

narwhal wrote:

– I got a tattoo. Sounds strange I know, but I used to be a very judgmental person. I found fault in tattoos among other things, even though a part of me wanted one. That tat now reminds me not to be so judgmental of myself or others. That other people’s judgment me does not define who I am, nor my judgment of others.

That’s so weird – I thought of doing that for the same reason. I am so judgemental of people with tattoos, but then, who the hell am I? I am no better.

I haven’t done it though. I probably should. But then again, I shouldn’t say the word “should”. Oh damn, I said it again.

[Author]

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