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Anonymous 2 years, 5 months ago.
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I’ll caveat this by saying I don’t believe in NAWALT. In fact my answer to NAWALT is EWALT: Enough Women Are Like That.
My gf of 7 months so far and I seem to split everything 50/50 (mini-vacations, movies, eating out), or so close to it that any difference is irrelevant. She already (and apparently believes me) knows that I’m explicitly opposed to a 3rd marriage to ANYONE for ANY reason.
The reason for both of our current divorces (we are both in the end stages of it) are the same: the ex cheated and left for the person they were cheating with.
She is obviously post-wall. She’s my age (almost 50). She works full-time at a decent job. She is of average (at best) looks, but she is at least not a land whale. In fact, she is so thin, she doesn’t actually have breasts. She does not possess a genius IQ but she does possess actual scientific curiosity. She doesn’t seem to feel the need to fake interest in the things that I’m interested in. To compare her to my ex for example, who was a “Walking Dead” fan, gave up on the show simply because Glenn was killed by Negan. My gf is still watching. Its a small thing, but its one example.
What I am wondering, is the degree of likelihood that she will attempt to change the arrangement. I don’t think she is a NAWALT, because ALL women have the potential to turn on you. I look at Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn after 36 years together in non-marriage and I still see the possibility of Goldie Hawn getting the vagina tingles and leaving him. I don’t suffer from the bias that I will somehow be lucky and find a special snowflake.
What I’m am wondering is if she thinks if she is with me long enough, does she likely think she can get me to marry her? She knows that I’m a cynical, skeptical and pessimistic person in general, but I don’t think she understands just how much yet.
For example, she thinks I’m “in love” with her the way she says she is with me, whatever that means. I know that is an illusion and I don’t feel anything. I’ve just chosen to be with her, because she has not chosen to inconvenience me. I dumped the other girlfriend so fast that she probably saw a Doppler redshift. In fact, I’d say that I don’t really feel very many emotions at all for over a year.
She also knows that I am opposed to cohabitation and has the idea of selling her house where she lives now (35 miles away) to try and find a smaller house within a mile or so of mine, after her last son is out of college.
My question would be as to the likelihood that she thinks I will change my mind about marriage or cohabitation? Does she actually mistakenly think she can change me or frog-boil me into changing my mind?
I’ve been straightforward about all of that non-marriage, non-cohabitation. The only thing I’ve lied about is when I respond back to her saying “I love you” by saying it in return. I actually feel nothing. To me, love is not a feeling, it is a choice. As long as she doesn’t try to f~~~ me over, I’ll choose to stay.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
Does she actually mistakenly think she can change me or frog-boil me into changing my mind?
I think you already know the answer, but I’ll say it anyway. Yes, with a 99% confidence level. Talking about moving closer to you is a huge red flag. Is she going to be happy with moving 35 miles to be closer to you when things don’t work out?
Order the good wine
Does she actually mistakenly think she can change me or frog-boil me into changing my mind?
I think you already know the answer, but I’ll say it anyway. Yes, with a 99% confidence level. Talking about moving closer to you is a huge red flag. Is she going to be happy with moving 35 miles to be closer to you when things don’t work out?
My thoughts, too, although that would be no sooner than 3 years and contingent upon her finding a place. My area is not that far from her work, so there is that.
One advantage of not marrying or cohabitating ever, is if she ever crosses the red line by cheating or becoming a bitch, I’ll simply ghost her. Not answer phone or email. I’m never going to give up my sovereignty again. I have more maneuvering space living single. Getting married is like fighting a battle with your back to the ocean.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
Does she actually mistakenly think she can change me or frog-boil me into changing my mind?
Yes.
She will try to move in with you when she sells her house.
You are only 7 months in, but soon sex will become less frequent, demands (while subtle at first) will increase, etc.
With time, the full crazy will show itself, so enjoy it while it lasts, but prepare yorself to end it swiftly.The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!
Runnnnnnn you fool.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Does she actually mistakenly think she can change me or frog-boil me into changing my mind?
Yes.
She will try to move in with you when she sells her house.
You are only 7 months in, but soon sex will become less frequent, demands (while subtle at first) will increase, etc.
With time, the full crazy will show itself, so enjoy it while it lasts, but prepare yorself to end it swiftly.The sex becoming less frequent is a humorous concept. I’ve become a f~~~ing camel.
She actually initiates sex, which I generally view as a chore. I get more pleasure, such as it is, from masturbating, and I mostly do even masturbation just for going to sleep quickly and for prostate health. Frequently I get her to cum and then I just stop without cumming myself and go to sleep.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
How long can she go without seeing you? If that period is getting shorter as time goes on, then you will probably come to the point where you have to tell her, “This close … and no closer”. How she reacts to that – whether she respects and can be happy with that distance – will give you the answer. If she can’t be happy there, you’ll wind up miserable whether she’s marriage-minded or not.
Runnnnnnn you fool.
If my worst fears about her are confirmed, I won’t have to run.
She’ll give up on me. Women have found that I am intractably stubborn, and that was BEFORE I understood female nature. Now, I’m 10X more stubborn. I see no reason to compromise with a person when I’m right and I can just walk away.
For now, its been mutually beneficial synergies. For example the yearly camping trip near the ocean that I take all 3 kids to. Taking two cars and two tents made this trip possible, or at least more feasible and affordable.
Since I lack actual feelings for women, it makes it much easier to dump them. At the first whiff of crazy, I’m done. I dumped the Vietnamese gf in April because I got the merest ant fart scent of crazy off of her. As soon as I am s~~~-tested once, I un-c~~~.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
How long can she go without seeing you? If that period is getting shorter as time goes on, then you will probably come to the point where you have to tell her, “This close … and no closer”. How she reacts to that – whether she respects and can be happy with that distance – will give you the answer. If she can’t be happy there, you’ll wind up miserable whether she’s marriage-minded or not.
How long can she go without seeing you? If that period is getting shorter as time goes on, then you will probably come to the point where you have to tell her, “This close … and no closer”. How she reacts to that – whether she respects and can be happy with that distance – will give you the answer. If she can’t be happy there, you’ll wind up miserable whether she’s marriage-minded or not.
We see each other on the weekends. On rare occasions I’ve gone up or she’s come down in the middle of the week, but rarely. It is 35 miles away (40-60 minute drive, depending on route taken) so I’m unenthusiastic about extra driving.
The BEST she can hope for is a long-term gf/bf thing like Goldie Hawn has with Kurt Russell, but without the cohabitation part.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
Given your responses, I fail to see any utility for this relasionship. If you’re not interested in sex, or, as you said, it’s more of an annoyance for you, what do you need her for?
She is not giving you anything that a male friend could not give you, but she comes with all the psichological and legal liabilities that all women possess.The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!
Given your responses, I fail to see any utility for this relasionship. If you’re not interested in sex, or, as you said, it’s more of an annoyance for you, what do you need her for?
She is not giving you anything that a male friend could not give you, but she comes with all the psichological and legal liabilities that all women possess.That is a good observation, but I don’t have many male friends. The closest I have to male friends are all blue-pilled. We do have similar interests, even model trains. My interest in trains originally came from my Dad’s, and her interest in trains came from her Dad’s.
She likes gardening, and by helping me keep my 2,000 sqFt house garden weed-free, that has opened an unexpected door for me, in that I am now purging the much larger forest garden that went to hell last year.
The ocean/camping trip would have been difficult with just me and the 3 kids, and the trip to Boston should be quite fun. I don’t know Boston (she does) and I’m going to have her take pictures of me at most of the locations that are in Fallout 4 wearing the same clothing that I’m going to have a future character of mine in the game wear and do screenshots at the same spots in the game. I am going to get that Uraniom technology and have my 3D face scanned into Fallout 4 and my character will have my face.
So I’ll have a set of pictures of me in military fatigues and a boonie hat and a Minutemen flag at places like Fort Independence and the pictures of my character looking just like me in the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Boston, wearing the same clothes, in the same poses. I even have a blue Minutemen flag I had custom-made that is the same as in the game.
I’m mainly focused on having fun and enjoying life.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
Like the others, I’m mortally certain she’s simply “frog boiling” you. She’s playing a long con because you are her last real chance to latch onto a provider before retirement.
Guard those firm boundaries you’ve wisely set like the Korean DMZ. It’s good that from the first she shared expenses, had to initiate sex, and all the rest. She’s counting on you becoming comfortable, however. She wants you to slowly go “fat, dumb, & stupid”, to become “used to” her, and thus more susceptible to changes in the relationship.
Like a leak in a levee, it will start small at first only to rapidly exploit any weaknesses.
In the end, no woman can’t help but think of any man in her life as a potential pack mule. I’ve written in the past about a woman with whom I’ve had a purely platonic relationship for over a decade. I enjoy her company at the theater, opera, art galleries, and so forth. A few years back and thanks to another woman insisting our relationship must be something more, I told I’d never thought of her in romantic let alone sexual terms. That truth hurt her deeply and, while still active, our friendship remains effected.
Like the scorpion stinging the turtle mid-river, women will try to change you because that’s what they do.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
Like the others, I’m mortally certain she’s simply “frog boiling” you. She’s playing a long con because you are her last real chance to latch onto a provider before retirement.
Guard those firm boundaries you’ve wisely set like the Korean DMZ. It’s good that from the first she shared expenses, had to initiate sex, and all the rest. She’s counting on you becoming comfortable, however. She wants you to slowly go “fat, dumb, & stupid”, to become “used to” her, and thus more susceptible to changes in the relationship.
Good point. I am trying to set up something of a firewall or Korean DMZ. She wanted me to come up to her house last week and this week, and I said I’d think about it, but then I didn’t come up because I had other stuff to do. I always try to keep her on her toes.
I refuse to be any more of a pack mule than she’s been, and I’ll do stuff if there are synergies when working together.
She knows I have a balance to maintain. So she knows I will spend a certain amount of time playing Left For Dead 2 with my oldest son or such, and she brings a book to read for those times.
I’m real f~~~ing paranoid, and real cognizant of frog boiling s~~~.
The funny thing is, she has actually come out and verbally asked me to tell her if she violates any of my boundaries, because she feels that her being overbearing in her relationship with her ex-husband ALONG with him choosing not to air his grievances factored in him going passive-aggressive on her by having an affair on her and leaving her.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
I’m real f~~~ing paranoid, and real cognizant of frog boiling s~~~.
What’s that old saying? Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you?
The funny thing is, she has actually come out and verbally asked me to tell her if she violates any of my boundaries, because she feels that her being overbearing in her relationship with her ex-husband ALONG with him choosing not to air his grievances factored in him going passive-aggressive on her by having an affair on her and leaving her.
That’s just another maneuver meant to placate you. If she keeps you “fat, dumb, & happy”, she has a better chance of slowly turning up the heat without you noticing or complaining.
She’s running a long con. She’s almost 50 and you’re her last best chance.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
To compare her to my ex for example, who was a “Walking Dead” fan, gave up on the show simply because Glenn was killed by Negan. My gf is still watching. Its a small thing, but its one example.
Hey! Spoiler Alert! Jeepers! Some of us are waiting for it to come to Netflix.
To compare her to my ex for example, who was a “Walking Dead” fan, gave up on the show simply because Glenn was killed by Negan. My gf is still watching. Its a small thing, but its one example.
Hey! Spoiler Alert! Jeepers! Some of us are waiting for it to come to Netflix.
Damn, sorry Bro!
I won’t tell you what happened on “Lost”, then.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
The problem is that women who aren’t a problem just aren’t a problem until they are. The switch could flip with absolutely no warning and then you have a real problem on your hands. I have to agree with John. It doesn’t sound like you’re getting much out of this other than a buddy. Problem is, this buddy is a potential hand grenade. I would personally bail sooner rather than later. If you keep pursuing this, CYA.
Jackie: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.What I am wondering, is the degree of likelihood that she will attempt to change the arrangement. I don’t think she is a NAWALT, because ALL women have the potential to turn on you.
My opinion is if nothing changes it will remain the same. If her financial, medical or living arrangements change it is possible she may look to you for some type of emotional physical or financial support. Be on the look out for changes. If your feel like you can manage the arrangement, it remains equitable and you are benefiting from it there is no reason to panic.
If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.
She’s running a long con. She’s almost 50 and you’re her last best chance.
If she’s running the long con, she’s in for a rude awakening in the future.
I’m a cold-blooded mother#@$&*$. Was watching the bunny in my yard recently that had eaten some of my strawberries. Watched him wiggle his nose, noted how cute he was, then put a crossbow bolt into him 3 seconds later.
ZFG.
Women past the Wall are like expired lottery tickets.
I’m figuring the relationship won’t last more than 2-4 years.
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
She’s running a long con. She’s almost 50 and you’re her last best chance.
If she’s running the long con, she’s in for a rude awakening in the future.
I’m a cold-blooded mother#@$&*$. Was watching the bunny in my yard recently that had eaten some of my strawberries. Watched him wiggle his nose, noted how cute he was, then put a crossbow bolt into him 3 seconds later.
ZFG.
Women past the Wall are like expired lottery tickets.
I’m figuring the relationship won’t last more than 2-4 years.
If she is playing a long con, it’s because she thinks she can and will pull it off. Don’t be overconfident. Play with fire long enough and you get burned. No matter how much you respect it, no matter what precautions you take, one way or another you will get burned somewhere along the line.
Jackie: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.- AuthorPosts
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