New member. Stuck in marriage due to kids. Any advice?

[Fundamental_manParticipant 209]

Thanks again. Your input matters a lot to me.

Some sort of change/solution IS needed, especially in the interest of the kids.
Moving abroad would ve with the intention to improve life in some areas; climate, financial, hobbies, politics and hopefully work.
Moving to Denmark, Norway or Finland would still leave us in cold, rainy, expensive, socialist gynocentric “do-gooder’s” twilight zone.
In western Europe, it is probably only Spain that makes sense, but there is the added complexity of learning a new language. You will not integrate (or even really get by) in Spain if you speak English.

I love so many things about USA and hate the “equal outcome, self loathing, noone must shine, taxed to death” Sweden. Especially as I SEE things getting only worse, not better, over time. And as we all know, once you take the red pill, your eyes will remain open forever, to see all this insanity.

If my wife will not move, maybe it is just fair she lives in a poor apartment. It could be ok by me, but I still want the best conditions for my kids.

Well, I keep processing and mixing my thoughts with you ideas. Change will happen, but this time *I* will make sure I am driving it in MY direction!

[VanXingParticipant 98]

From my research Sweden has way better family court system than us or uk. sounds like u have an ideal situation to get the divorce done with then try to improve her situation for the kids.

[narwhalParticipant]

I think the first thing you need to do is decide on whether you and going to divorce or you are going try to reconcile your marriage. Staying separated like this is not an option.

If you are going to reconcile, then I suggest you ask her to move back in under specific conditions. Make sure she understands why the separation happened in the first place, otherwise it’s a waste of time. It maybe a waste of time anyway, but at least you covered the basics.

If you are getting a divorce, then stop thinking about where she’s going to live, what’s best for her, etc. She won’t be your responsibility anymore. That is exactly what divorce is. Don’t try and pretend it’s not. If she choses to live in a bad neighborhood, due to finances or whatever reason, that is on her, and her problem to fix. If you aren’t comfortable with that situation, make sure she understands that. If you feel the kids are not safe there and taking legal action is worth the time and money, then do that. From the sound of it, it sounds like she may be willing to take less time with the kids since she can’t provide for them as well as you can.

It may sound cruel, but she always had the option of being a loving wife. As well, she would not be worrying about your financial situation, the way you are concerned for her, if the roles were reversed.

Ok. Then do it.

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