I was an Atheist until about a year or so ago. I have since discovered that there is indeed something that created this planet, and that there are bigger things at work here than just humans. Who and what God is…. I am not sure. These are just my humble observations. Do with them as you will. What happens after death is obviously the most important question in life.
Pain. It’s a small word, but when you experience it…. it seems really important at the time. It can be anything from a paper cut to the death of a loved one. Pain comes in many forms. I am somewhat of an expert on pain. After 20 years in construction, and a lifetime of difficult situations, I have a lot of different pains.
Remember how much things hurt as a child? You were knew to pain. The tiniest little prick on your finger sent the tears rolling. Over time, you build a tolerance to pain. Some days I will look down, and see blood gushing from my hand. And I don’t remember cutting myself. I had just done it working and was focused on what I was doing at the time. My big hands are covered in scar tissue, from the many ways I have hurt them over the years providing a life for myself and my family. And now with age, pain is a daily fact of life that I deal with to survive. My father suffered greatly the last 20 years of his life, and he was a kind, generous, wonderful person.
So who created pain? Well, surely if the Bible is correct and God created all this, it must have been him right? It says in the Bible that God punished all women that would ever live with painful child bearing, and the monthly curse, which brings many women a lot of pain every month for about a week….. or roughly 25% of the time. And why did he do this? Because your great, great, great, great etc etc etc Grandmother ate a piece of fruit she was told not to eat. Overreact there much God??? Punish billions of women for a crime that their ancestor committed? WTF???
So…. by reason of proof, if you accept the Bible has the Gospel…. I made a funny there. Go ahead and chuckle. Then clearly… God uses pain to punish people. Somewhere in a hospital room right now, a woman is having a child and suffering greatly, just to bring a life into the world. She does not remember the taste of that forbidden fruit, because she did not eat it. But the pain is hers just the same.
My entire life, I have felt as though I was being punished for something I don’t remember doing. Childhood was rough, adulthood has been brutal, work is hard, and painful. I have always been a good person, tried to help people and be good to them, as long as they were good to me. SO…. why should I suffer the way I do? And when I have prayed to end this, my prayer goes unanswered. Even though I have prayed sincerely, more than I ever had in my life. Crying on my knees begging God to help me…. or at least show himself to me. All I got was crickets. No response at all. Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I haven’t suffered enough… sure seems like it. Maybe I have broken a few of God’s little rules. I asked his forgiveness and for his help. Which is exactly what the Bible says to do. Yet after doing all that… my life got steadily WORSE. So is this the Devil playing tricks on me? But wait…. God created everything, so he created pain, and has a history of using it to punish people, sometimes unfairly. HMMMMMM. Remember Soddom and Gomorrah? The cities were burned to the ground because the people were immoral. But wait…. weren’t there children there? So God let children die in agony, because of what their parents did. Can you imagine being a small child, and suddenly your flesh is on fire, and you have no idea why or what is happening to you? You remember no sin or transgression. You’re just an innocent child. Oh, and remember how much things hurt as a child, as we discussed earlier? And every day, all over the world, innocent children suffer. So either God allows this and does nothing, or he has no power to stop it. THESE ARE THE ONLY 2 POSSIBILITIES!!! Oh…. some may say he is teaching them something. What can a child learn from being molested? Talk to any prostitute, they are were abused as children. Some of them are better people than most women I know.
So basically, as I understand religion, I can sum it up in two sentences.
God says, “Let me torture you with pain and suffering that I created on Earth, and I will give you an eternity of bliss.”
The Devil says, “Do whatever you like on Earth, and SUPPOSEDLY you suffer for all eternity.”
I just don’t think I can love or serve a God like that. He sounds like a narcissistic child that overreacts when he doesn’t get his way, and punishes random people for things they did not do. “Worship me.” “Praise me.” “Bow down before me!!!!” And do exactly as I want, or you will be punished eternally! Dude, even if God did create me, that’s a little over the top. What if all parents treated their kids that way? How many of you would still speak to your Mom or Dad if they acted like that???
Now I am not saying I am gonna run and join Satan. He doesn’t sound so great either. It sounds more like 2 narcissistic kids playing a game of “who can take over the world,” and we are all pawns in the game. Book of Job anyone? It says that basically God and the Devil were toying with this man’s life for their amusement and to satisfy their wager over which he would choose. God ALLOWED, and read that part again ALLOWED the Devil to inflict Job with all kinds of ailments, he lost his family, his business, and his health. Yeah, sure in the end he got it all back and then some. But he still suffered to satisfy this sick bet between God and the Devil. Frankly, I think they are both assholes.
So I am going live for me. I’m going do what I feel like doing. I am not going hurt anyone, because I do have morals regardless of religion. But otherwise, I am pretty much just going do what I want from now on. And right now, it’s 11am, I am still in my underwear. and I want another beer.
Pedal, run, row 2 years, 5 months ago.
