Moving on from your parents as a MGTOW

[IRuleMeParticipant]

For many MGTOW, the cost of personal sovereignty is high. Some have it front loaded, while others pay in increments. Whether its emotional, physical, or financial… We all know the pitfalls of dealing with women in general. But I wanted to bring up a different kind of topic.

For many, a part of that cost comes with cutting off your loved ones. Including your parents. Which is not an easy thing to do. For some, who were raised with questionable parents, this may be easy. For others who spent their lives being close with the people who brought them into the world it can be quite difficult.

The questions I’d like to ask of those who made such a sacrifice is, how has it been for you since you made that decision? What was the blowback? How have you grown from that experience, and what steps do you take moving forward for yourself? How did you handle the situation when you made it clear you were moving on? Or was your decision a silent one where you simply decided to ghost your parents?

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

IRuleMe wrote:

The questions I’d like to ask of those who made such a sacrifice is, how has it been for you since you made that decision?

Very tough indeed. Pretty much all parents, want us to pass on their genes, even if they deny it. Deep down inside, they feel resentment when we go our own way and not have any kids. It’s like carrying the Olympic torch and throwing it in a trash can long the way. The legacy is dead.

My parents are the covert type, which makes things much harder, imo, compared to parents who openly voice their resentment.

I’m guessing, to them, their children not giving them grandchildren is a failure.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[ghostParticipant]

What do you mean by moving on from your parents?

I don’t ever see myself “moving on” from my parents. They gave me a chance at life. They did the best they could for me. Including my siblings, they are the only people on this planet who I know will always be there for me. I love my parents more than anything in this world.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

ghost wrote:

They gave me a chance at life.

Exactly, no matter how my parents treat me, I just cannot turn my back on them. Even though my father crushes my dreams and my passion, I still cannot walk away. He is my father.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[ghostParticipant]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Even though my father crushes my dreams and my passion, I still cannot walk away. He is my father.

Exactly. You will only ever get one.

[Zuberi TauParticipant 10606]

Why would I move on from my parents? They have not pestered me into finding a trollop nor giving them grand kids.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Parent, actually. I assume I have a father somewhere, but not even my mother knows who he might be. And I left her behind in the crab bucket.

[JackinovParticipant 5229]

For me it was the greatest thing that I ever did. Opened up a lot of my time and energy. As far as I’m concerned- parents or not, if you treat me s~~~ty, you’re going to receive the same treatment back.

Sure, they might have known how to manipulate me up to a point, but having lived around them for the majority of my life, I know exactly what they fear and what their insecurities are. And I used them- brought them to tears each time as I laugh at the effect. I got them to the point where they would be afraid to say anything to me. And then completely cutting them off after that? It’s the cherry on top.

It’s what you get and deserve when you dedicate 18 years to being a bad parent.

are you a chia pet in man drag

[Anonymous 3]

It’s pretty easy actually.

We don’t live in the days where you lived with your parents and they passed on property and the family business to you.

If you’re like me and most others, they gleefully booted you by the time you were 18 and told you that you were on your own, while they spent money on themselves or their daughters.

It’s pretty easy to ghost your parents when they don’t do s~~~ for you. It was a lot harder when wealth was transferred generationally through sons.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Anonymous wrote:

If you’re like me and most others, they gleefully booted you by the time you were 18 and told you that you were on your own,

I couldn’t wait to get out. I had a hell of a time opening a savings account for college without my mother finding out about it. Almost every bank required an adult cosigner even for simple savings. This was after she drained my first account.

while they spent money on themselves or their daughters.

But do they expect those daughters to look after them in their old age? Of course not. But even if they do, good luck with that.

[IntellectualSaviorParticipant 1238]

It was quite easy for me, the problem is they’re the ones who wants to be involved with my life. Even though i am thankful for everything they’ve done, i just can’t ignore the fact that they’ve never supported me emotionally. Which actually made me even stronger than i could imagine. But in the path of doing so i became really cold to them, i am the rebel son in their eyes which i don’t give a s~~~ about.

Hell i remember buying my first gym membership thanks to a verbal fight with my dad. And i also remember punching a wall so hard that i broke my hand in front him.

My parents always thought i’d never make it to university which i currently attend with a scholarship. MY parents are the realy life lesson which taught me nobody gives a f~~~ about you unless you’re succesful or a puppet.

When I have a pen in my hands, it's lethal.

[Anonymous 42]

IRuleMe wrote:

The questions I’d like to ask of those who made such a sacrifice is, how has it been for you since you made that decision? What was the blowback? How have you grown from that experience, and what steps do you take moving forward for yourself? How did you handle the situation when you made it clear you were moving on? Or was your decision a silent one where you simply decided to ghost your parents?

I dunno if I want to be honest, in fact I don’t, as usual I’ll force myself to swallow the red pill of shifting and changing realities.

Some people are mature and learn lessons with age while others do not.

Some people become more and more narcissistic with age while others do not.

Very rarely, once every 119 blue moons, there’s one that grows and learns from their experiences at great personal sacrifice. That be me.

With each narcissistic trait with the actions and intentions behind that trait comes a further wave of coldness and isolation that comes from me but only for the purpose of self preservation, never revenge, I’m only guarding the mental strides and advancements I’ve made at tremendous personal cost and sacrifice (casting pearls before the swine).

Some family members are lost in alcoholism and on a road to personal destruction. My cousin (drinker) was ran over by a semi a couple weeks ago, I hardly knew him except for a stent in the early 70s’ when he lived nearby. I have other relatives that picked up a drinking habit later in life and left me without any choice but to isolate and protect my being from the harsh emotional reality an alcoholic can put on you.

Between the alcohol and the narsism just about all my relatives have built themselves either a fortress like myself or a living hell of emotional, psychological, and phiisical hell for themselves and all those in any kind of orbit with them.

I’ve broken free from them at a tremendous financial loss from all monetary gain I’ve freely shared with them only to see every memory of “those days” utterly forgotten as insults fly along with spiritual degradation.

I’m on my own now with very few friends up to my standards and code of ethics. The family I couldn’t choose, the friends in life I can choose.

I have no true friends within the family, I didn’t pick them and their idiosyncrasies, they came with this basket called life and many of them are dead, dying, and spiritually rotting away under the effects of alcoholism.

Either we go to war to escape the gravitational field that attracts us to family or we choose to burn up upon reentry.

Call me Deep Space Tower, gravitational fields to family has become something I use to slingshot even further.

My life is not to be used as an emotional tampon or punching bag, I simply do not tolerate it, any of it!

Funny thing? My friends don’t give me ANY S~~~! I “chose them”.

Family? I did not choose, I only choose to dispose of them and all their twisted f~~~ing bulls~~~!

[Cú ChulainnParticipant 3910]

My blue pilled siblings secured my parents’ legacy by having kids.

I tried for kids when I was married, but it didn’t work out. Probably for the best.

My parents stuck by me through all my troubles, which were and are many. They are the only two people I keep an intimate relationship with. They are also a large part of the reason why I didn’t suicide when I was at my lowest. I didn’t want my pain to become theirs.

Parents are not like other relations and certainly not like the women I have known. They created me, nursed me, and prepared me for the world. I owe them. They are old and I will nurse them when the time comes.

I feel sorry for blokes who were treated poorly by their parents. But it happens sometimes. Mine made mistakes, infuriate me sometimes with their old couple act, but I love them dearly, they are the last link before I go 100% monk and disappear from the map completely.

[Anonymous 11]

My parents have long since passed. I only wish they were still here.

My mother once told me in her later years that she understood why I never got married given the state of our modern trollops.

The rest of my family can go f~~~ themselves.

[BlackeyeFatlipParticipant 75]

I was raised by a single mother. All of that stereotypical value that is placed on that person came with it. She toted and lavished in blue pill values like they were a shield. I bought into it. My mother is strong, independent and courageous, she’s doing it all alone. My mother loves me like no one else and the world is better for women like her. The struggles are real for her and she’s a courageous victim. I was her wight knight.

However as I got older I started to understand how the world worked and see through the BS. My mother was a train wreck of an alcoholic. She gamed the welfare system. She had single handedly, through greed and selfish c~~~-like behavior ruined her marriage to my step father. I watched her beat him in his own home and it result in him having to leave the premises. She was fat, slovenly and terrible with money. She would rather get high at christmas than buy me gifts. Relying on the salvation army to bring me a basketball was favorable to her.

I was the crux of her meal ticket. I was the excuse she used to get what she wanted. I was the excuse to get out of what she didn’t want. When I turned 18 and joined the Army… she still took advantage of me. Because she had done “so much” for me, I owed her. She stole from me and guilted me into sending her money. I did but I was becoming very aware that something was not right.

I talked to my uncle (the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father). He gave me the best piece of advice on this whole topic. “If you eat something that made you sick, would you keep eating it?” The point was clear. My mother as much as we’d had genuine good time was a poison (much like the alcohol i wrestle with now). I needed to kick her out of my life.

This was no easy task. Virtually no one understands ignoring your mother. But it had to be done. Am I a whole lot happier in this world? No, because I’m a f~~~ up. But at a very minimum I have one less poison to deal with. I don’t have a person who was meant to nurture me taking advantage of me anymore.

[Anonymous 0]

Even if I know they are not good people (neither of them, my dad is a despot selfish bastard, my mother is the most manipulative lying motherf~~~ing bitch you guys could ever imagine) Sometimes it is hard to accept. On my mother’s side I’m glad we don’t even live in the same country anymore. I would actually pay to never have to see her again (Not that I want her to be unhappy or anything, she’s just way to toxic and a f~~~ing bad person to be around). Sometimes I remember good times with my father and think that it would be better if we got along together. I must remind myself of what a son of a bitch he can be… So, I do not see the need of getting away from them. In my case, it is obvious that I must step away from them. But if I had a good relationship with them plus I thought they were good people, why not keep in touch? I don’t get the point of it. (Actually I do not have a bad relationship with them, it’s just that they are f~~~ing assholes)

[Anonymous 5]

F~~~ my parents!

[SMADParticipant 651]

IRuleMe wrote:

The questions I’d like to ask of those who made such a sacrifice is, how has it been for you since you made that decision? What was the blowback? How have you grown from that experience, and what steps do you take moving forward for yourself? How did you handle the situation when you made it clear you were moving on? Or was your decision a silent one where you simply decided to ghost your parents?

Sadly, my father died a decade ago, but he was divorced twice: once when I was 4 and the other when I was in early 20s. Seeing him ripped apart was a massive dose of red pills and sadly he passed away from cancer. In fact, my extended family believe the cancer happened because of the stress induced by my c~~~ of an ex step-mother and EVERY family photo where she is in was digitally altered to remove her from our family history.

She even dared to turn up at the funeral where I promptly moved to throw her out, but she got the hint and immediately left.

If my dad was still here, he would be in his 70s and definitely a MGTOW himself. The last year or so of his life (divorce + finalising) he was in his 60s, going out to salsa dancing and pump n dumping mid 40 year old women like a trooper (having only ever been with my mum and step mum for 40+ years, he made up for lost time.)

For mum, bless her, shes a pain in the bum in her own way (basically bit of a lonely life, but mad as a box of frogs in a good way hah) but actually she is VERY supporting of me GMOW. I quote her saying “don’t bother with relationships, they are hard work to maintain and love isn’t a real feeling.”

Bear in mind my mum is 70 this year. By her own admission, in the late 60s she married my dad because he was “nice enough to marry, but I never truly loved him.” She never cheated on him or anything like that, but she wanted to get away from her s~~~ty father (my grandfather) who was colder than a Plutonian winter at aphelion.

Anyway, I told her I am considering a vasectomy and she supports that 100%. She even thinks that modern women are slutty degenerates and feels bad for modern men having them as a potential “choice” for dating and mating with.

So yeah…go mum! Hahaha 🙂

Marriage?  No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

Zuberi Tau wrote:

They have not pestered me into finding a trollop nor giving them grand kids

Me too Sir. It seems that I am lucky to not have had to put up with crazy parents. I told them I did not want to get married and that was it.

[freedomParticipant 5129]

Well when I moved out from their place, I did it to become more appealing to women, which was true, but then I have been exposed to the true nature of relationship, as a result becoming a mgtow after losing much of my happiness due to women stepping on me.

My mother is very disappointed of me, and I bet it’s hard for her knowing that her youngest is not keen on passing the family torch. My father on the other understands me, yet he is worried about me.

I think there will be some more quarrels with my mother, but will eventually have to accept it, they will not disown me completely for it, but I bet I’m not my mom’s favorite kid

[Author]

Posts