Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › It's all so unnatural; I think my brain is broken
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OldBill 3 years, 8 months ago.
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All right guys, I’m the tiniest bit drunk, and the tiniest bit high, and I know that tomorrow morning I’m going to wake up, and see how stupid I was being by my posting here, but here we go, because f~~~it:
I feel that there’s a part of brain that just missing. I feel that my brain is a CPU that can do everything that other CPU’s can do, save for one basic move instruction, which my brain lacks, which every other brain has in its instruction set, and for which I’ve had to compensate by using a myriad other instructions, but generally to a worse outcome. Lemme explain:
Basically, as a human being, there are things that you don’t have to be taught how to do; they’re just supposed to happen by instinct. These include all the necessary bodily functions: no one needs to teach you how to chew, swallow, how to actually make p~~~ come out of you; you just KNOW how to work your muscles to accomplish these things.
It seems to me, from what I’ve read and heard from other people, and my knowledge heretofore of the world, that pairing up is supposed to be one of those things (which makes sense, since even animals that can’t reason, who can’t use tools, can’t read, can’t write, etc., still find ways to mate up). How many times have you heard a woman say “it just happened” when referring to a hookup, or a man say “I found her only when I STOPPED looking for love” when he’s referring to his beloved wife? How many times, when a couple is describing their process of meeting and becoming a couple, they say “we just met, and immediately hit it off”?
To these people, that process of mating up is so ingrained, so subconscious that they genuinely are unable to explain the actual motions they go through in order to make those pairings happen.
Recently, after I invited a woman to come with me to a philharmonic’s performance, an outing I usually do alone (this is my dating strategy; because I’m sick of pandering to women, I don’t ask them to do anything or think of s~~~ for us to do together; I now give them the option to hang out with me with stuff I usually do, and if they take it, great, if not, who gives a s~~~, there are over 3.5 billion women left in the world), and she not only said yes, but gave me the money to order her ticket for her to accompany me—and quite a bit more than the ticket was actually worth, mind you. I could, if I were slippery, tell her the ticket was worth more than it is, in fact worth—and I believe I would be the first man in the world to ever make money from a date!
So, in sum, the best case scenario for my dating strategy, which I consider the only dating strategy worth any man’s while, has happened—yet I have no idea what to do in order to actually make her my mate (i.e., to idea how to effect this ideal scenario, as it is the ideal scenario of any man who goes on a date).
In my past, when I’ve subscribed to the attitude, “if something happens between you and your date, great, but it has to be organic,” nothing, I repeat, NOTHING has ever happened. To paraphrase Richard Feynman, I would have very lovely conversations with these women, but they were just that: conversations, and nothing else.
I have no idea how to actually effect the process of making a woman my mate: I have no idea when to touch her. I have no idea when to kiss her. Though I can tell you plenty of times when not to touch her, not to kiss her (e.g., not when she’s a stranger, not when she’s holding pepper spray to your face, etc.).
So this leads me to one of two conclusions: being twenty-two years old, either I simply have yet to learn the motions of the mating dance of homo sapiens sapiens, just like perhaps a ten year old has yet to learn the skill of preparing food; or my otherwise healthy brain just lacks this one certain part. The latter makes more sense to me, as the entire existence of life for everything is predicated on the ability to find a mate: Simple, microscopic organism find mates, and they just drift around. The ability to pair up, and the process thereof, must be a subconscious, automatic thing, just like digesting your food and breathing are subconsciously motivated; life, especially the complex life we see on earth today, would not exist otherwise. Preparing food is not a fundamental requirement of life (plenty of organisms get their food by just sitting there and letting it drift into their mouths); sex IS a a fundamental requirement of life.
I’d like to make clear here that I’m not a virgin. Strictly speaking, I’ve had sex more times than I can count. But sex, for me, only felt “natural” when I knew the girl really, really, really well—and that was only because I’ve already had sex with her many times before. But that first time, with a new person . . . there was nothing more “unnatural” than the feeling of making that first time happen. It happened only by a concerted, stressful effort on my part, and the first time felt very “clinical.” I don’t know how to describe it: due to certain circumstances which I won’t get into here, my first time was prefaced by a conversation with her, where I said, verbally, something along the lines of “I require sex if I am to continue having any kind of relationship any longer with you” and she said, I paraphrase: “Ugh, fine, sure. Let’s make out then.”
I feel like a man who has no subconscious instinct for breathing, who can just barely, and only occasionally, get his oxygen by a concerted, strenuous effort of his whole body.
To get back to this girl who gave me money for the concert: I would like to put me and her in a situation where sex, if she wants, would just organically happen; yet I have no idea how to do that, and I have no experience of sex’s organically happening for the first time.
Let me stress: I’m NOT asking MGTOW for step-by-step instructions on how to get into this girl’s pants. I’m asking the manosphere, because I think (or, perhaps, hope, for misery loves company) many men in the manosphere share this problem too. This is why I think PUA is so popular: I suspect that many men simply lack that part of their brain to make sex happen, so they read, learn, and make this concerted effort to imitate the motions of what other men who get laid more often do without any effort or thinking about it—and they call these learned motions “Game.”
In short, I’m asking the manosphere if there’s any hope for some form of recovery, either through my own effort, or through something else.
S~~~, I don’t really know where I’m going with this. Well, there’s my soul, laid bare. I can hope only that my anonymity here remains into perpetuity.
Goodnight, everyone. This website is so great. You’re great.
". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée
I suspect that many men simply lack that part of their brain to make sex happen
A lot of this sounds like what the gyno centric media wants people to believe. Men are stupid and women are brilliant and so suave in bed. If only us men weren’t blubbering idiots. But nothing could be further from the truth than this.
This leaves me with a lot of questions I’ll leave you with to ponder.
Have you considered other options? Seems like you’re kinda limiting the possibilities. Have you considered that maybe there are no women worth fighting for? Have you considered maybe women share responsibility for a connection? Have you considered that this might not be entirely your fault? Could it be that sexual tension is just that: tension and that awkwardness can be very normal?
Furthermore,why do you still want this so badly when it seems to keep leaving you wanting and not very fulfilled (speaking of a relationship)?With all due respect, did you sign into the wrong website by accident? I get being horny or wanting conversation with a girl but people here typically try to not be in the blue pill hell you long for. Some have relationships where they keep a girl well beyond arms length but it seems like you don’t know women don’t actually have the ability nowadays to love you or have a relationship with you. I think you can do better for yourself.
Have you tried reading the fine manual?
A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)
Rockmaninoff, for the ‘organic’ portion of your question she will be sending hints. The reason you say that it’s never been that way is you’ve been worried about closing the deal. Touch, willingness to be led, and follow up activites could all be good indicators she’s receptive to you.
If she puts and hand on the inside of your arm or on your knee that is her physically getting a feel for you or trying to connect at a lower level first.
As far as willingness to be led, she is already accompanying to something that you were going to do anyway. After the performance tell her where you had planned for a bite afterwards, she’s already overpaid so you aren’t spending your money on her.
Follow up activites, see what she’s got going on on tell her what the next event you are attending is. If she shows interest and says that sounds like something she’d like to go to then she’s already likely into you.
You don’t sound broken or damaged, but it may be a part of yourself that you shut off because it caused internal conflict when you used it before. Keep in mind that unless the girl is an undesirable dirtbag who is going to run through miles of c~~~ in her lifetime that it’s going to take time to develop. You aren’t looking to marry her, but at the same time the organic situation you think should happen may not happen instantaneously.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
Anonymous54Lots of guys are awkward with women.I think now in days youve been conditioned to be reluctant to go for it, for not wanting to be seen as a raper awful dirty man.Most people are drunk when they first “hook up “because its akward.But Rock what is it you want?A woman to love you? Does that even exzist? Hint..when shes laughing or smileing at you,gently hold her hair and slowly go to kiss her. If she pulls away,shes not into it.If she likes the way you kiss her shell have sex with you.But you didnt hear that here.
@ xlrsnbrg: Excellent picture there, man!! (+1)
I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC
First step. If both of you are at ease, invade her personal space.
Second step. If she does not shy away, touching her should be ok.
Third step. After first contact do not rush, let her repay in kind. A green light but do not rush.
Fourth step. I’ll keep that to myself.
Fifth step. Let your mind travel into the future and remember MGTOW from the past and what it taught you.Tread lightly and good luck.
Zero Tolerance
Anonymous11It does only happen organically, period. She will let you know. The eyes, flushing, and touching you are just some of the signs. Sable’s advice is very good too. Every woman has an erotic spot on her body that is not her t~~~ or pussy. Find it. It varies with each woman.
As long as you’re not the bringing candy and flowers type who begs literally for pussy everything is going to be fine.
If I ever worked to “get” pussy, I went down in flames. The art is to recognize the signs and not be afraid to seize the opportunity. Women do like for the man to take charge. If not, she’s a bats~~~ crazy Massachusetts feminist so running for your life is your only option.
Be leery of the too easy lay also. Chances are she’s a slut or crazy so treat her as such. Pump-n-dump a slut and never ever stick your dick in crazy.
Qui audet adipiscitur - Who dares, wins
Anonymous54@ CPig. Sex with a Massachusetts feminist. Youd be better off to stick your dick in a wood “chippa”
Anonymous42bats~~~ crazy Massachusetts feminist so running for your life is your only option.
ME>
@ CPig. Sex with a Massachusetts feminist. Youd be better off to stick your dick in a wood “chippa”
After sex with a Massachusetts feminist, this is what you do!
Anonymous11A Massachusetts feminist is what it took to bust through my blue pill delusions.
I swear before God. They are the most vicious pieces of s~~~ East of the Mississippi River. Yeah, I would stick my dick in a wood “chippa”. Tower is only twenty miles from their Coven.
Anonymous42C-Pig, I s~~~ you not, these c~~~s reek of misandry! I mean like stinking to high heaven!
The two most likely things you’ll see in Massachusetts is dirty looks and mossy rocks.
UZoomass feminist:FEEL THE LOVE…
Dirty looks:
Mossy rocks:
Anonymous1Fourth step. I’ll keep that to myself
Ahh man, I’m intrigued now.
Its fisting isn’t it?
Anonymous11I s~~~ you not, these c~~~s reek of misandry!
That they do, my man. We don’t have that many Massachusetts refugees down here, but the ones I’ve met are all hell bent on spreading that Amherst poison.
The New York and New Jersey refugees I know are just happy to have fled those hell holes and are grateful to live in a place with some semblance of sanity. Some of them can’t take the bugs though.
Anonymous3I didn’t read all of that, but I’ll point out that dating doesn’t exist in animals, since you mention that.
Dating didn’t exist in most of human history either.
It’s a modern invention.
A Massachusetts feminist.
God help us all.
Ahh man, I’m intrigued now.
Its fisting isn’t it?Well, not really, but if it were the case I would be better off buying a real moo cow with added bonus of
having fresh milk every day.Zero Tolerance
Thanks for the responses, guys!
Furthermore,why do you still want this so badly when it seems to keep leaving you wanting and not very fulfilled (speaking of a relationship)?
I’ve realized that my natural affection and desire for women is a normal, healthy part of being a male human being, just as my desire for food and water is.
To put the analogy a bit further, just as I realize that a good deal, if not the majority, of women are toxic, so I realize that most food is poisonous and most water isn’t potable. So a man, if he doesn’t want to die parched, he has to do everything in his power to find the good stuff.
Have you tried reading the fine manual?
I’m not trying to please women; that’s, as you’ve pointed out, an impossible task. I’m trying to please myself.
Keep in mind that unless the girl is an undesirable dirtbag who is going to run through miles of c~~~ in her lifetime that it’s going to take time to develop.
Thank you for punching this all out, but I have to disagree.
I used to have the same attitude you had: “let it take time to develop organically; if she’s a girl worth having, then it’ll happen.” And you know what? It never happened.
Furthermore, I have realized that there is no woman out there with whom sex is worth the wait, for two reasons: one, I’d be neglecting my needs; and, second, I’m not stupid, I know that she’s making me wait, while she f~~~s some other guy she met twenty minutes ago at a party.
From reading stuff here, and from experience, I also suspect that women, like men, decide within the first ten seconds of meeting someone of the opposite sex whether she’ll sleep with him or not. And once decided, it can’t be negotiated.
.I think now in days youve been conditioned to be reluctant to go for it, for not wanting to be seen as a raper awful dirty man.
Yeah, precisely. That Milo guy put it best: you can either suppress your natural love and affection for women, or risk an accusation of sexual harassment.
It does only happen organically, period.
I disagree. I’ve only slept with a girl the first time when it happened inorganically.
Chances are she’s a slut or crazy so treat her as such.
Oh yeah, she was pretty whack. But aren’t they all?
". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée
Anonymous42A Massachusetts feminist.
God help us all.
Even God can’t find a way to help these vile souls.
Massachusetts falls in line with the big bang theory. The place where freedom started is also where it’s ending in a great big implosion!
I live where a tear in the space time continuum started 42 years ago, creating this altered reality, this molestation of law, time, space, and freedom, this dead body politic.To HUD (housing and urban development) I dub this place “project black hole 5811”. We’re one of Americas many cloaked “black projects”, this is USArea51 a twin to Nevada’s area51. it’s a different kind of “Skunk Works”, where the people became aliens to the United States Constitution.
I see the same thing happening but on a much larger scale. We’re being alienated and isolated from our own gender and nature according to the LAW. They’re doing everything to get us to agree in putting ourselves through the gender-blender of modern liberalism.
Hey you feminists, go ahead, make that bloody-mary in your fragile glass gender blender, but beware, we’re going in like a bag full rocks!
In 42 years from now historians will look back and say; that MG-Tower was an arrogant asshole, but he was right! And look at all the good that came cause he stuck to his guns and shot perfectly straight, while others were blindly shooting themselves in the head or the foot!
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