Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Is marriage and kids worth it?
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Ronin 4 years, 1 month ago.
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Daimos,
As an older mgtow, I can tell you avoid marriage period. I had no kids with my ex and that saved my financial ass.
If you want to be father and take the risk of bringing a child into this world, I feel that you would grow as a man. Now that said there is a plan B, but it requires extreme financial discipline on your part. I’ve looked at the costs, and paying a surrogate mother ($5k-$10k ) and raising a child as you see fit (preferrably a boy) with a part-time nanny ($20k-$30k/year) is a order of 10 cheaper when compared to marriage/common-law-marriage/divorce/custody court fights/alimony/childsupport/false allegations.
You’ll have to save like a psychotic squirrel and live thrifty. Assuming you can semi-retire in your mid-40’s or early 50’s you’ll have a house paid and time to raise a kid. If you move to South America (i.e. Colombia) and work in tech, the nanny and cost of living are about 5x less vs the US. In the end, your resources and labor go straight to your kid; bypass the lawyers, in-laws, gov’t and the golddigging c~~~.It sounds crazy, and it is, but it is much better than marriage/divorce hell.
This requires a long-term commitment to YOU and YOUR KID and only YOU and YOUR KID. Hope this helps.
Is marriage and kids worth it?
This is somewhat like asking: Will this lottery ticket win? The answer is, it’s not impossible. Lottery tickets do win once in a while.
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
Anonymous26I admit to screwing that up due to my own shallowness. However as I’ve grown older I’ve come to realize I live in a shallow world or society.
Don’t cut yourself short man…. I’ve walked that same road too, and have been called a shallow snob, and replied with….”why the f~~~ should I settle for someone like you who has been on every c~~~ carousel from here to five towns over”.
Yes we live in a shallow society where everyone (especially women) are looking for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal). It p~~~es me off when I hear people call someone shallow…. if your not attracted to someone, your just not attracted to them. No one is going to want to stay completely drunk or stoned to stay and be able to deal with someone they aren’t into.
We all know how women can flip flop their minds…. marriage and kids, yeah it would have been nice but am past that age of wanting to raise a baby to an adult. I’ve always kind of looked at marriage as playing Russian Roulette.
Either one day she flips and I get a bullet to the head.
Either one day she pushes me beyond the edge and I give myself a bullet.
Either one day she pushes me over the edge and everyone gets a bullet.meh….. better safe than sorry.
50% of marriages end in divorce,
… and the other 50% end in death.
"I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?" - George Carlin
Marriage… You’re f~~~ing nuts
As for the children thing I’ve been grappling with that myself. I can see that being an awesome experience, but one thats filled with lots of sacrifice and responsibility. I have no crazy illusions about what that would entail.
After deliberating on this for a couple years, I decided that children would only be worth it if certain criteria are met:
1. This must be done using surrogacy or an artificial womb. I want 100% custody so I have total freedom and total responsibility.
2. I need to have some mega-bucks. I understand the huge burden it would be, so I need to be able to afford a nanny(s) and have surplus $$$ and surplus time to give them a high quality education/life. I would homeschool.
3. I only want sons. Who knows what the future will hold. I’d much rather have my investment go towards assets that can help me out in a Mad Max scenario, rather than burdens that will drag me down.
I’m a bit of a workhorse, and now that I’m dropping the females from my life I have even more time to devote to my projects. I don’t see any limit on what I can earn.
I’m 28, so I have a lot more youth to enjoy. I’m a health freak so I wouldn’t be surprised if I lived to 150, especially with all the new medical tech coming down the line. As long as I have money I’ll just keep replacing my organs lol. I’m gonna be one of those transhumanist cyborg assholes with a chip in my brain and f~~~in lasers coming out my eyes.
I figure I have all the time in the world. I don’t see 40 or 50 as being unreasonable. You’re as young as you feel. I’m gonna feel like Peter Pan for the rest of my life.
Not my property... Not my problem
Marriage NEVER! Because divorce sucks. A kid is a miracle in your life. .However, when that child is torn from you, legally kidnapped. .The pain is far worse than the death of a loved one..death is final. .easier to find closure. .not so with a child being pulled away from you. ..be forewarned.
I had my kid at 45 years old. .did a lot of living life on my own terms. .traveling, sex drugs and rock and roll. .lot of freedom. .freedom is gone now brothers. .I’m warning you! ..it’s a toss of the dice..you might just f~~~ing lose !
I have never had kids so I cannot answer that part of the question. I can say that marriage is NOT worth it. Think about it. What advantage does getting married provide a man? NOTHING! It’s all risk with no gain and the potential for a staggering loss. Even without kids, my ex wife got everything from me but my pension. She got the car, the house the savings, the 401K supplemental retirement, all the investments. This was considered an even split by the court. Worse, my story on this forum had one of the better outcomes than a lot of other ones here!
isn’t the court supposed to split assets 50/50 in a divorce?
I’m not familiar with Canadian Law. I live in Pennsylvania in the US and my split was 60-40 but I do not have to pay alimony. My attorney said that a 50/50 split would result in me paying alimony. He said that a judge would be hard pressed to justify alimony payment if the split was 60/40 or greater in her favor. I didn’t care about the uneven split as long as I wasn’t tied to her in any way after the divorce. Like I said, it could’ve been WAY worse.
Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.
surrogate mother ($5k-$10k ) and raising a child as you see fit (preferrably a boy) with a part-time nanny ($20k-$30k/year) is a order of 10 cheaper when compared to marriage/common-law-marriage/divorce/custody court fights/alimony/childsupport/false allegations.
You’ll have to save like a psychotic squirrel and live thrifty. Assuming you can semi-retire in your mid-40’s or early 50’s you’ll have a house paid and time to raise a kid. If you move to South America (i.e. Colombia) and work in tech, the nanny and cost of living are about 5x less vs the US. In the end, your resources and labor go straight to your kid; bypass the lawyers, in-laws, gov’t and the golddigging c~~~.It sounds crazy, and it is, but it is much better than marriage/divorce hell.
Hey Ronin, I broke it down and got to similar costs for surrogacy & nanny, but the difference is i only worked out the numbers in Colombia. I wouldn’t dream of taking the surrogacy risk in the states. And if it’s that cheap in the developing world, you can have that much more control over the surrogate mother (regular tox screens, required vaccinations & prenatal vitamins, etc.). And you can do it multiple times, in parallel if you want to a brood of little Ronins running around together.
In fact, i don’t want kids at all. But i was thinking about a subject we often discuss here – that is, what do women bring to the table? Having kids i think would be the hardest thing to replace in terms of a traditional relationship/marriage, but there are ways around that, as you & i have definitely put some thought in to.
I wonder if it’d be possible to offer this as a service for American/western men. “Surrogacy in a Latin American country! Fatherhood as it was always meant to be etc etc.”
Ever since I was young I’ve felt obligated to find a wife and to have kids carry on my family name. However I’ve never been good with women the last who even had visible interest in me was when I was in middle I admit to screwing that up due to my own shallowness. However as I’ve grown older I’ve come to realize I live in a shallow world or society. I’ve sometimes thought about how bad things have gotten and have wondered what if I have kids and I regret it? What if I have kids and something horrible happens to them? I mean the world is becoming increasingly dangerous is it really worth bringing children into the world?
Hell my own uncle was once married and had his kid taken from him due to false allegations so I think not having kids is a way safer option than having kids and then losing them to a evil hell beast with plans of poisoning them against you. I don’t even know if I’m fertile if that is the right terminology. Long story short I’ve done some stupid s~~~ in my time and worry I might be shooting blanks.
However I’ve read how a lot of older MGTOW have been married and have had kids but ended up regretting those choices(I am guessing they regretted the marriage part). So I’m just wondering is marriage and kids worth any potential suffering in the future? Because a small part of me is starting to feel I’d be better off without marriage or kids.
Married for 9 years, thought we’d never get divorced, we even promised each other. She got so f~~~ing weird after the kid though and we were so stressed and I was tired of her “threatening” me with divorce for the last three years that I finally agreed. The child was 6 months old…Looking back I had the kid with her as i somehow thought it was the normal progression of marriage, we had to do it sometime and we were getting at the point where it was now or never. Problem is, I saw our divorce coming but thought having a child would somehow prevent it…F~~~, I was wrong either way. I could’ve ended it before the child but chose the wrong path and had a child in this f~~~ed up world with a woman who is basically a feminist…I guess I just ignored it all as I was fat, dumb, and happy. I really enjoyed the companionship but there was so much other BS involved.
I can honestly say, if I could go back I wouldn’t have a child. I can only imagine how f~~~ed up she’ll grow up to be. Ex wife says she’ll raise her to be independent…I think our daughter will end up a feminist and probably hating me. What the f~~~ ever…
You’ll regret your decision after having a child and marriage and divorce and you’ll regret not doing it…Pick your poison.
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein
I will leave this here for clarification
"We are free to follow our own path. There are those who will take that freedom from us, and too many of you gladly give it. But it is our ability to choose – whatever you think is true – that makes us human. There is no book or teacher to give you the answers, to show you the path. Choose your own way! Do not follow me, or anyone else."
Anonymous42Icecold $corpio! +1, you just made my day with first post I looked at! Ha Ha HA HA! LOL! So f~~~ing TRUE!!! first they start pecking your ass off; the next thing you know, you’re outside in the cold holding a restraining order, and you’re financially stripped naked! AND IT’S
YOUR“WAS” YOUR F~~~ING HOUSE!
I’ve got no bitch f~~~ing up my life, and most likely never will… (Blindsides out of nowhere by conditions I did not create are not withstanding)……Icecold nailed it with a picture perfect analogy.
Single guys come home, look at what’s in the fridge, and go to bed. Married guys come home, look at what’s in bed, and go to the fridge.......But the best representative of MGTOW is…………… an empty chair,.
“Marriage, no. Kids, well there are other options to fulfill that need if you really want kids.
Marriage, bankrupted me paying “it” out. I had to take large loans to pay “it” for “it’s” equal share, only down the track from loosing my job being made redundant and then couldn’t repay the loans.
Now my 2 kids I manage to keep even tho ex’ was going to take me to court over them. But, they wanted to live with me and I had s~~~ with written proof and witnesses who were prepared to swear in court which would have f~~~ed the Ex’ up big time.
If I could have my time over, marriage definitely not. No vagina is worth the cost in mental health and money. But I couldn’t do without my son and daughter.
Listen to this pussy:
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein
Ask yourself this:
“Is it worth getting your well being and potentially others’ (kids) well being screwed up for a chance?”
Your the only one who can decide this for yourself.
Don't let defeat, defeat you; Let defeat be your greatest teacher.
Ever since I was young I’ve felt obligated to find a wife and to have kids carry on my family name.
I want to have kids… so yeah, I’ll do that in a couple of years.
But I’m not going to marry her just because she’s the one able to breed…Family name? I don’t give a s~~~ about names… my kids, no matter what.
Anonymous42I want to have kids… so yeah, I’ll do that in a couple of years.
But I’m not going to marry her just because she’s the one able to breed…Family name? I don’t give a s~~~ about names… my kids, no matter what.
Hey Ummon, you don’t see it do you? Your word or additude doesn’t matter the slightest, the rules (LAW) dictates that it’s her virginal fruit, you’re just a walking sperm bag! It’s “her body” and her “decision” weather or not your sperm will live in “her” womb or not!
You’ll be
sorryF~~~ED in a couple of years when you have children then the “Holy Virgina” decides your fate as a living utility to support her and “her” child/children for1826 years thereafter…Family name? I don’t give a s~~~ about names… my kids, no matter what.
When your name appears on a court summons issued with assistance from her “LEGALLY ADVANTAGED” lawyer, using a gynocentric bias justice system to hold
your“her” children hostage, you’ll see first hand what so many men on this site warn about!
You’re in for a full judicial castration, possibly imprisonment, with such an arrogant additude that you somehow have authority over a woman or “her” children. The dangers of having children according to the LAW, is a RED PILL you really may want to swallow….Remember this: You give them children, they give you leg irons, and the LAW throws away the key! Good luck at the bargaining table with that riffle of justice holding a bead on your forehead!
NO Find Another Job. Or do the one you have now.
Society live's as if we have reached the pinnacle of human potential. Technological Advancement and Innovation, intellectualism, critical thinking is substituted for useless innovations, nasty narcissistic games, tyrannical laws that destroy the very foundation of family, and the world as we know it.
Consider this question as if you’re the most desirable man on the planet, with every possible advantage:
You are rich.
You are famous.
You’re a professional athlete.
You’re relatively young (late 20s/maybe early 30s).
You’re handsome.
You have, literally, hundreds of MILLIONS of fans all around the world.
You have dozens of the largest brands in the world throwing bags of money at you to endorse their products.
You have underwear models from all around the world lining up to be your girlfriend or wife.Now suppose you want to have a family. There are risks, to be sure – if you marry, your wife could divorce you & take your fortune, your family, your sanity. To say nothing of the emotional wreck that you’d become after having that trust violated.
But you’re f~~~ing loaded man! You can afford the best lawyers in the world. The best international tax accountants. The best advice for every possible scenario that could come up! What’s their advice to you?
The above describes Cristiano Ronaldo** – one of the most famous professional athletes on the planet. He makes more than $10,000,000 per year, and has been at that salary level for at least 5 years.
He paid a surrogate to have his son. His defining quote during the process, from ~5 years ago: “…my son will be under my exclusive guardianship.”
I can’t tell you whether or not to have children or not. But if the guy who has every advantage in the world, who can buy the best legal advice with more money than god … if he goes the surrogate route, instead of getting married, in order to have a child. What does that tell you?
Marriage is a losing game man. If you don’t believe me, write out the costs & benefits. I’d love to see what that list looks like. Ronaldo did the cost-benefit list, and he has enough cash to hire an army of professionals to triple-check that list. I’m pretty sure he got it right.
**For those guys in the US who don’t really follow soccer, Ronaldo’s one of the highest paid athletes in the world. His salary is on the order of Tom Brady or Payton Manning’s. In fact, it’s probably higher, since most international soccer clubs don’t have salary caps in the same way that the NFL does.
Just one of many references:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1292329/Cristiano-Ronaldo-paid-American-woman-baby-son.html- AuthorPosts
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