Is it really that necessary to beat children?

[VarunParticipant 2981]

Yesterday, our neighbour beat up his kid while they were visiting my house. Apparently, he had spent too much time on the internet (’cause he doesn’t have internet at his place so he comes here to use our wifi) and it well well after 10 pm that they left. I was totally sick of the incident.

Beating is direct violence. I’m always against violence. Hence, I don’t support beating children to make them behave better.

But people over here don’t think so.

They actually brag about “beating their children and keeping them in order”. They are actually so proud of that.

Parents judge schools by ‘how well they can keep the naughty boys in control’ (I said boys, but I don’t want to elaborate on this fact because I want this topic to be gender-neutral).

Beating your child could have serious negative effects in his/her physical and mental health. My statement is supported by studies worldwide.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/spanking/10-reasons-not-hit-your-child

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/good-thinking/201409/is-what-happens-when-you-hit-your-kids

Hitting Your Kids Increases Their Risk of Mental Illness

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/07/23/health/effects-spanking-brain/

Extreme parenting for you:

^^ Do you support this. I do not….definitely not.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

I think this is another really tricky topic, so it’s good to have it up for discussion.

If we go back to our grandparents’ age, it was common for kids to get beatings, and they swore that it never did them any harm. Fast forward to the current kids growing up and those that have never been told off, never been told “no” and they’re an absolute nightmare to deal with. The level of entitlement and bullying/victim mentality is off the charts.

So where do we draw the line? Is corporal punishment okay? If yes, what level? Are there serious alternatives? How do we know if they are effective?

I have kids, and I admit that I spanked them on a rare occasion (at a time when it was legal to). Did it make any difference? No. So I stopped it. My kids responded better to reason and consequence…..”if you do that, you’ll stop being allowed to…[x]…because…[y]… Do you understand why?”

The trouble is that you have to be 2 steps ahead of kids all the time, have absolute mastery of your boundaries, and stick to them rigidly. Those adults without the patience, mental clarity, firmness of resolve, and emotional maturity are likely to be the ones that resort to physical punishment, because their kids will run circles around them.

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

In children corporal punishment can cause toxic stress, which damages their neuroplasticity (brain pathways) and can also cause personality disorders. Furthermore some people have a ‘warrior gene’ that is triggered by corporal punishment and causes them to be extremely violent in nature.

I watched the video about the kids in Bangalore. What exactly do you disagree with?

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

[RoyDalParticipant]

Discipline is necessary. Beatings are not.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[TorchemParticipant 453]

I’m 47 nearly 48. My generation was hit, smacked or what ever you want to call it, and by a whole are normal contributing people, show respect to elders and others property. If we did bad, but not every time, got a smack on the bum. We knew what the punishment was for doing what ever.

I brought up my 2 kids, boy and girl, the same I was brought up. Yes they got smacked for behaving bad time to time depending on what they did. They are both well adjusted adults who contribute to society positively, respect elders and property and I hope when they produce, do the same.

This generation is rude, selfish, don’t know what no means, no respect to elders and others property. Reason, never had a smack in their life and not held accountable for nothing.

Now I wish I could find the web page, the study showed this between generations past to present on smacking, parenting from 50yrs to now and yes, there is a need to discipline or smack a kid when required.

So yes, they need a kick in the ass now and then.

[WildBlackCardParticipant 8]

As RoyDal said, discipline can be done without beatings. I never learned anything from physical discipline rather than to not do it again because such and such will happen however depending on the person it may have a negative affect on their mindset and values. You can discipline and teach while you do it. Without meaning, consequences are steered away from by fear. Bruce Lee’s quote “Be like water” comes to mine when speaking on this subject.

I’m not a parent however as a son of two parents who have been in my life until my adulthood, I’ve learned more from personal experiences rather than being yelled at or attacked which growing up made me resent them for the most part. I also had to undo a lot of corrective tactics I had learned.

Don’t get me wrong though. Sometimes it works. There are some bad kids out there however from my recent studies of psychology, just like women, if you let your child slide on an important matter, that child will learn that it’s “OK’ to test you. Obviously you can’t kick your son/daughter to the curb even though I like the idea of disowning a family member who is unruly. Can’t let one bad apple spoil the bunch.

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

My parents didn’t use any kind of physical discipline, they just raised their voices from time to time when I was being a brat. Getting a kid to actually learn the lesson and have it sink in is the most important part. It’s pretty difficult to achieve that when your methods are based on fear.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

I read a parenting book once, about how French parents are able to bring up their kids to be well behaved – 3 year olds at nursery in France routinely have 5 course meals for lunch, and sit for 45 minutes to do this, without grabbing at anything prematurely – and babies sleep through the night routinely at the age of 3 months old. Unheard of in other countries!

The book commented on how the French manage to discipline their kids without shouting, without physical punishment, or fear, and it concludes that it starts at birth. The baby has to wait. It learns to wait. Babies are left cry for 5 minutes. If they stop crying, it wasn’t serious. If it continues past 5 minutes, mum picks it up and sorts the problem out. This was shown in studies to help the baby link it’s sleep cycles together, because there wasn’t disruption from the parent. The baby also learned that if it waited, its needs would be met.

This doesn’t happen in our “need-it-now-helicopter-parenting” culture. Babies are fed the moment they whimper. Kids are given what they want, when they want it. No one learns to wait.

This is a generational and cultural issue that men have almost nothing to do with. Women are the primary baby-raisers, and they seem to have lost their ability to raise well adjusted human beings.

[The Long WalkParticipant 1282]

Slapping a child to instil discipline: A necessary part of good parenting imo, especially nowadays.
Beating a child because you’re angry at something they’ve done: Child abuse, plain and simple.

[EskimospyParticipant 841]

“Spare the rod and spoil the child!” That Bible passage is often quoted as a defense for beating kids. The rod is used by shepherds to lightly tap the sheep to guide them to a particular direction not to beat them to that direction. So the verse means that a child must be guided. It dose not mean a child must be beaten, only to be guided. I’m no fan of the beating of children, but I am a fan of guiding them.

[Anonymous 42]

Beating a kid is totally f~~~ed up!
The maximum effect of discipline comes with the sting of a rod (only when being challenged for hierarchy position), and NEVER done in ANGER, done with control as not to welt the flesh, only a “sting”, they’ll learn to fear the rod rather than the hand. Animals too, I use the noise of a folded paper to house break my dogs, I NEVER hit them! On goats I use a stick only to prod, again I NEVER hit them! I’ve never hit a kid, I never had to, I demanded their respect, and got it!

The only thing I “hit” or “beat” is an attacker in self defense, and even then, only when the threat is imminent.

Hitting and beating are the tell tale signs of a mentally unstable asshole.

[SpacemonkeyParticipant 1481]

Quietlyquietly wrote:

I read a parenting book once, about how French parents are able to bring up their kids to be well behaved – 3 year olds at nursery in France routinely have 5 course meals for lunch, and sit for 45 minutes to do this, without grabbing at anything prematurely – and babies sleep through the night routinely at the age of 3 months old. Unheard of in other countries!

Well how is it they all grow up to be complete c~~~s?! Sorry, only joking, I couldn’t resist it.

I doubt giving a child a slap now and again does them any harm, but beating them seems a bit excessive. I can only recall two instances where I was struck as a child by my parents, and thinking back to them they were both quite traumatic. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I was abused, certainly not, however I certainly do remember those incidents even though I was very young and in both cases I don’t think I was actually doing anything wrong.

Later I went to school and corporal punishment was definitely on the syllabus. One teacher, Mr Stark taught geography and PE and carried the sole of a tennis shoe around in his inside jacket pocket, one of those 1970s style hard plastic numbers. I think just about all his male students was on the receiving end at some point or another. I recall I got it once but I can’t remember what for, I think he just hit kids on principle. I remember tackling the lanky c~~~ on one of the rare occasions we were allowed to play rugby, that victory tasted sweet I can tell you.

For all the violence dealt out by teachers and parents to kids back in the day, I think I would prefer to be brought up that way than the way kids are brought up today. They just don’t seem to have any moral compass at all. Some would say you should reason with kids, try to discus with them why certain behavior is unacceptable. I have seen parents do this, and the child just sort of smirks at them and then carries on doing what they were doing before. It simply doesn’t work because children are not adults, they do not have adult faculties of logic and reason.

The number of children on medication these days is frightening, Ritalin for supposed ADHD. How come no kids had ADHD when I was a kid? Sure there were disruptive pupils but never so bad that they had to be drugged to keep order in the classroom. Obviously society thinks it is preferable to drug children than to smack them.

“Long is the way and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light.”

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

Spacemonkey wrote:

Quietlyquietly wrote:

I read a parenting book once, about how French parents are able to bring up their kids to be well behaved – 3 year olds at nursery in France routinely have 5 course meals for lunch, and sit for 45 minutes to do this, without grabbing at anything prematurely – and babies sleep through the night routinely at the age of 3 months old. Unheard of in other countries!

Well how is it they all grow up to be complete c~~~s?! Sorry, only joking, I couldn’t resist it.
…
The number of children on medication these days is frightening, Ritalin for supposed ADHD. How come no kids had ADHD when I was a kid? Sure there were disruptive pupils but never so bad that they had to be drugged to keep order in the classroom. Obviously society thinks it is preferable to drug children than to smack them.

HAHAHA!! I’m living in France right now, they aren’t so bad. The thing is the learn respect, and if you don’t show them respect, they sure as s~~~ don’t show it back!

The education system is feminized. Female teachers teaching a female-oriented syllabus in a femo-centric way. It has been shown by study that female teachers mark boys down just for being boys. Boys can sit still for 5 minutes, after which they need to MOVE. This is just basic boy biology. They get penalized for moving, and put on drugs.

There are a handful of male-oriented education models around, which manage to have higher attendance rates and higher pass marks than mixed and female systems, even in underprivileged areas. I’ll see if I can find a link, if anyone is interested….

[Zuberi TauParticipant 10606]

It’s necessary to discipline children not beat the hell out of them for sport.
But of course, most bastard baby makers and tyrannical parents never get the memo.
That is why they end up raising sociopaths.

[BurgundyParticipant 1525]

Beating children shouldn’t be allowed, and at that, mothers abuse children 3 times more than fathers, and they beat their boys several times more than girls. Hurt people, hurt other people, it’s sad, and the circle of violence needs to end, and it will only end, when women take responsibility for being s~~~ for brains mothers, beating up their sons, creating the next generation of violence.
mothers abuse children 3 times more

Discipline, is important though, but there are plenty of ways to do that, without resorting to violence, do it the martial arts way, strict discipline, with focus, and fairness, no lies no double standards, which parents today do in mass, wretched really.

I have more respect for my old Martial arts teacher, than my own father, as I grew up, who taught me the art of fighting sports but using our head, first and foremost, no slaps of violence, just wisdom and to discipline oneself.

[MoonlightParticipant 223]

A firm voice and a swat on the bum is all that’s needed in my opinion. Maybe take away some privileges for a few days like TV and internet as added punishment.

Parents (or should I say single mothers) learning to say ‘no’ early on can help curve bad behavior, which is something I don’t see often anymore.

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

I’m against beating or inflicting any physical pain on a child. A quick light smack to prevent a young child from running out in the street – but nothing more. My 26 year old did quite well sans physical punishment – now in medical school. My teenage stepdaughter responds better to being grounded!

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

Burgundy wrote:

Beating children shouldn’t be allowed, and at that, mothers abuse children 3 times more than fathers, and they beat their boys several times more than girls. Hurt people, hurt other people, it’s sad, and the circle of violence needs to end, and it will only end, when women take responsibility for being s~~~ for brains mothers, beating up their sons, creating the next generation of violence.
mothers abuse children 3 times more

Discipline, is important though, but there are plenty of ways to do that, without resorting to violence, do it the martial arts way, strict discipline, with focus, and fairness, no lies no double standards, which parents today do in mass, wretched really.

I have more respect for my old Martial arts teacher, than my own father, as I grew up, who taught me the art of fighting sports but using our head, first and foremost, no slaps of violence, just wisdom and to discipline oneself.

I think this is it. One of the most overlooked parts of society is mothers, their Domestic Violence against their own children, most notably boys, and the effect it has on society over successive generations.

Violence begets violence.

So if mothers do most of the violence, teaching young boys that women are violent, and that this is the standard way to solve conflict, this perpetuates what feminists hate the most – violence against women. It also teaches girls that women (and girls) can be violent to men (and boys).

The responsibility, as @burgundy correctly points out, is on women to end violence against women everyone.

[AttonParticipant]

I got beat over the ass with a stick when did something major. I have no criminal record and I have never abused substances.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[UnicronParticipant 752]

My father was a strict ‘disciplinarian’ but all it did was foster a sense of animosity towards him from my siblings and I, it didn’t stop us from doing what we wanted, we just took the pain to show him that he couldn’t break us.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

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