I'm scared s~~~less of flying

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

One thing that really irks me is hearing someone baby or kid yelling/crying/screaming for hours on end and they do f~~~ all to shut the brat up.

Try sleeping with that.

I was going from UK to NZ 5/6 years ago, and just as I managed to nod off, i felt cold liquid spray onto me. (Shut up Blade, haha.)

I woke up in surprise and thought wtf? Did that just happen? I looked down at my top and there was a creamy stain. (I know what you’re thinking f~~s lol.)

I looked around me and everyone else was coma’d out and asleep. I was so f~~~ed off i got out of my seat and had a real good look round and was perplexed. I then walked up the aisle and saw this little boy aged about 3, opening those small milk packets and f~~~ing throwing the milk on other sleeping passengers.

To be honest, i just laughed and thought it was funny. Little bastard. No idea who he belonged to.

Went back to my seat and it took me f~~~ing ages to get back to sleep.

[Anonymous 2]

How about getting into the Guinness Book of World Records ? Just buy a cheap good condition second hand inflatable pedal boat and you can be the first person who ever made it to the UK from NZ using one….

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

Anonymous wrote:

How about getting into the Guinness Book of World Records ? Just buy a cheap good condition second hand inflatable pedal boat and you can be the first person who ever made it to the UK from NZ using one….

Haha. I bet it would get a puncture or some s~~~, or I’ll be K.O’d by a huge tidal wave. It would take a 2-3 months to get by boat from NZ to UK.

I like the idea tho. Sounds funny as f~~~. Wilsooon!

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

DYD loses his s~~~ and tries to get back to the UK via a home made water raft. Falls off, makes friends with a shark called Wilson. Even Wilson hates DYD.

[bladeParticipant]

Lots of whales out there which will keep you entertained . Bet ya favourite is the sperm whale . Lol . Bar he blows

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

Ha.

[bladeParticipant]

Just joking with ya bro

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

blade wrote:

Just joking with ya bro

I know man.

You know why the sea is salty? Cuz whales spunk in it. Ho ho ho hahahha.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

I don’t fear flying, as I just do the math on the odds etc. But I dread that s~~~ like the plague. I dread the parking, the security, the baggage, the jammed up seats, the waiting in lines, the s~~~ty food whose taste is indistinguishable from the the taste of the box it came in. I hate being spoken to in prewritten speeches like I’m a retarded kid who can’t operate a God damn seat belt without demonstration. I hate that my schedule has to be twisted to fit an airline’s schedule. I hate the stupid ass speech advising me on how to use my seat as a flotation device right after I hit the f~~~ing water at 500 miles an hour.

I hate taking my shoes off and being irradiated and trying to jam all my metal s~~~ in one of those bins and then get it all back out and organized again. I hate the f~~~ing rental car experience so bad I abuse the damn cars… every single one of them. I hate waiting in line to pick one up and waiting in line to drop it off again. I hate the little f~~~ing trains to haul my tired, irritated ass from one terminal to another one. I hate the boarding, the exiting, and every f~~~ing one of the people in line in front of and behind me in line. I hate the fat, condescending flight attendants. I hate the drunk pilots. I hate the retarded baggage handlers and the snobby ticket agents. I even hate the f~~~ing peanuts. I hate the f~~~ing wifi connections that are so slow that a set of carrier pigeons would be a more efficient way to communicate.

And don’t even get me started on the whiney ass kids who start bitching and moaning when the pressure changes, or their f~~~ing jack ass, dip s~~~ parents who made the genius decision to take the screaming little bastards on a damn airplane in the first place! Those f~~~ers should be required to ride in the baggage compartment!

Mostly though, I hate the fat ass seating next to me who can’t keep her cellulite on her own damn side of the arm rest. WHY DOES THE FATTEST BITCH ON EVERY DAMN FLIGHT I’VE EVER BEEN ON CHOOSE THE SEAT NEXT TO ME NO MATTER WHERE THE HELL I SIT?

Ok. rant over. Time for bed. g’night everyone. Happy times on your next flight! haha 😛

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

BrainPilot wrote:

I don’t fear flying, as I just do the math on the odds etc. But I dread that s~~~ like the plague. I dread the parking, the security, the baggage, the jammed up seats, the waiting in lines, the s~~~ty food whose taste is indistinguishable from the the taste of the box it came in. I hate being spoken to in prewritten speeches like I’m a retarded kid who can’t operate a God damn seat belt without demonstration. I hate that my schedule has to be twisted to fit an airline’s schedule. I hate the stupid ass speech advising me on how to use my seat as a flotation device right after I hit the f~~~ing water at 500 miles an hour.

I hate taking my shoes off and being irradiated and trying to jam all my metal s~~~ in one of those bins and then get it all back out and organized again. I hate the f~~~ing rental car experience so bad I abuse the damn cars… every single one of them. I hate waiting in line to pick one up and waiting in line to drop it off again. I hate the little f~~~ing trains to haul my tired, irritated ass from one terminal to another one. I hate the boarding, the exiting, and every f~~~ing one of the people in line in front of and behind me in line. I hate the fat, condescending flight attendants. I hate the drunk pilots. I hate the retarded baggage handlers and the snobby ticket agents. I even hate the f~~~ing peanuts. I hate the f~~~ing wifi connections that are so slow that a set of carrier pigeons would be a more efficient way to communicate.

And don’t even get me started on the whiney ass kids who start bitching and moaning when the pressure changes, or their f~~~ing jack ass, dip s~~~ parents who made the genius decision to take the screaming little bastards on a damn airplane in the first place! Those f~~~ers should be required to ride in the baggage compartment!

Mostly though, I hate the fat ass seating next to me who can’t keep her cellulite on her own damn side of the arm rest. WHY DOES THE FATTEST BITCH ON EVERY DAMN FLIGHT I’VE EVER BEEN ON CHOOSE THE SEAT NEXT TO ME NO MATTER WHERE THE HELL I SIT?

Ok. rant over. Time for bed. g’night everyone. Happy times on your next flight! haha

Haha you summed up my flying experience to a tee.

[Author]

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