"If you don't have anything nice to say…"

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Solid wrote:

Sadly females get away with so much things easily.

You can bet It’s not a blessing. At all.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[narwhalParticipant]

Keymaster wrote:

Consider the seemingly innocent compliment “I love that you’re so tall!”. which is often followed by “I only date tall guys ( like you )”.
I’m 6’2″ as well. And doesn’t that sound “nice”?
She thinks she’s saying something nice – but it isn’t.

That’s not a compliment. I can’t recall ever really thinking it was, especially when said like that. It’s clearly about her and her desires. I usually will follow with a statement how she can wear her heels.

Keymaster wrote:

When a woman says “If you don’t have anything nice to say… don’t say it at all”, she just giving instructions on how to be as slippery and backhanded as she is – because she’s weak, and doesn’t have the b~~~~ to be direct.

Yes, that’s what she’s saying it. I agree. When I give that advice though, my reason is that she isn’t worth the time and trouble. Whether she accepts my statement as honest opinion or as insult…I don’t care.

Keymaster wrote:

So don’t ever feel bad about telling a woman she’s fat right to her face.
HONESTY is a courtesy she will never extend to you.

Agreed, don’t feel bad about honesty. I just happen to not care about extending the courtesy of honesty to her either.

Keymaster wrote:

“If you don’t have anything nice to say… don’t say it at all”
….. is the mantra of a hypocrite.

Most times, I won’t even say it if I have something nice to say. You don’t get my criticism or my compliments. Compliments will backfire as well.

This is a conversation I had with my about 6 months into the marriage:

That shirt looks good on you
You just like the way my t~~~ looks
Well yes, but the color is good too. Very flattering.

She never….never…wore that shirt again.

Why even bother.

Years later, she got upset with me for not complimenting her on losing weight. Did I chastise her for gaining it in the first place? Why bother.

Keymaster wrote:

Yes, it’s still true “some things are better left unsaid”., but if the general message in society was an honest one which says “YOU’RE FAT. THERE IS NO POIN’T IN SUGAR-COATING IT BECAUSE YOU’D PROBABLY EAT THAT TOO”….. instead of “fat is beautiful at any size”. then the world (and their mentalities) wouldn’t be so upside down.

…and I don’t care. I have little interest in trying to win over the general messages in society. I certainly am justified in speaking the truth, but I don’t care enough to bother.

Maybe that will change, and maybe I’ll actively try to give it s~~~…but for now. I don’t.

Ok. Then do it.

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