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Dashing Young Dissident 3 years, 5 months ago.
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Why is it women can yell, scream, hit and abuse men and thats ok, but when we give it to them back, they refuse to listen to sense and walk away? F~~~ing c~~~s.
Anonymous0My sons mother is the most arrogant, condescending fat lump of degenerate s~~~ I have ever met. Incredibly conceited and self righteous. Thinks shes soooo powerful when she chooses to ‘control’ the conversation (in her deluded mind she believes this) with me by either cutting me off or trying to belittle and emasculate me. Even her passive aggressive attempts are utterly pathetic.
She’ll die of a heart attack the way shes going. Thanks f~~~. She is f~~~ing useless.
That has to be the worst part of a divorce: Having to continue dealing with an ex because of shared custody of the kids.
I dodged a bullet there. No kids from either marriage. I told the first wife that I wasn’t really into kids, and she okayed me getting a vasectomy. As a result, I was able to make a clean break with both ex-wives once the paperwork was finalized.
So you have my condolences on the issue of having to continue dealing with your ex. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. That would have been brutal for me as well.
Maybe some of the other divorced MGTOW guys with kids can give you some tips on how they’ve handled that.
My sons mother is the most arrogant, condescending fat lump of degenerate s~~~ I have ever met. Incredibly conceited and self righteous. Thinks shes soooo powerful when she chooses to ‘control’ the conversation (in her deluded mind she believes this) with me by either cutting me off or trying to belittle and emasculate me. Even her passive aggressive attempts are utterly pathetic.
She’ll die of a heart attack the way shes going. Thanks f~~~. She is f~~~ing useless.
That has to be the worst part of a divorce: Having to continue dealing with an ex because of shared custody of the kids.
I dodged a bullet there. No kids from either marriage. I told the first wife that I wasn’t really into kids, and she okayed me getting a vasectomy. As a result, I was able to make a clean break with both ex-wives once the paperwork was finalized.
So you have my condolences on the issue of having to deal with your ex. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. That would have been brutal for me as well.
Maybe some of the other divorced MGTOW guys with kids can give you some tips on how they’ve handled that.
Thanks. I absolutely loathe having to even see her revolting pig face and the blankness in her expression, that dumb f~~~ no one is home look. She is rude and so bitter now. I think a part of this is she hit the wall big time 4 years ago. She always had a bit of meat on her but had such a young face, big t~~~, wasnt the c~~~ she is now and at least had some decency. Now shes an old hag at the age of 47, obese as f~~~, acts like shes 65 and sits on her fat ass playing facebook games on her laptop. Yet im the s~~~ parent?
She has three chins and her face…jesus. Puffer fish.
Anonymous0Thanks. I absolutely loathe having to even see her revolting pig face and the blankness in her expression, that dumb f~~~ no one is home look. She is rude and so bitter now. I think a part of this is she hit the wall big time 4 years ago. She always had a bit of meat on her but had such a young face, big t~~~, wasnt the c~~~ she is now and at least had some decency. Now shes an old hag at the age of 47, obese as f~~~, acts like shes 65 and sits on her fat ass playing facebook games on her laptop. Yet im the s~~~ parent?
Heh. I can’t even imagine what happened to my exes.
When we were splitting up, my first wife told me I was a loser and that she could do better than me. A year later I heard that she married a doctor (hypergamy) and had two kids with him. A couple years after that, a mutual friend told me that my ex was miserable in her new marriage and was looking for someone to take her and the kids away. The friend told me that if I want to step in and rescue her and the kids, she would probably take me back. I told the friend, “You’re out of your f~~~ing mind.”
Second wife was a borderline hoarder. So that’s what we fought over, all the time: Her cluttering the house with piles of random junk that she brought home. After the divorce, when the house was sold and the assets split, I heard she moved out to a small apartment on the shore and went back to her hoarding ways. Like a spider sitting on a giant mound of useless trash.
Oh well, I take some consolation that I’m doing better than either of them. Being “zen” and happy with my life is my revenge on them. Because I can’t imagine that either of them is very happy. They were all about bringing strife and dissension to whomever they were with.
When my broken hand heals I will be straight back into the gym and sorting this f~~~ing mess out.
Before it heals, consider training: Tibialis anterior, soleus, gastrocnemius, hamstrings, quadriceps, lower abdominals, stretching, and treadmill-interval(cardio-vascular) training.
Oftentimes, most hated body parts can become surprisingly “get along well with you” mates when we are forced to train them exclusively. LOL to be honest, this very minute I’m stalling from going to the gym because a medical condition that I can’t divulge, makes the thought of going to the gym and being careful to not upset said condition a royal pain in the Ass… but, I will go. So will you.The problem with anger is that when you see things for what they are, there actually is A LOT to be angry about. However, you have to choose your thought’s focal point.
Anger is an appropriate response to injustice.
Today, there’s a lot of injustice, so each of us has to choose when and what to focus on regarding it.
Anger will give you energy. Un-effing imaginable energy, but at a cost. It’s like nitrous oxide to an engine. Blue print the motor to racing specifications, set up the system carefully, use it wisely and no problem. Otherwise it’ll blow the motor like sticks of dynamite inside rolls of toilet paper as nitrous has a violent burning pattern. Used too often and the adrenalin like a drug becomes addictive in that we get SO effing worn out from it that it takes more of it to have any normal energy at all. It’s like ages ago people would say “crazy people talk to themselves” when actually what’s happened is they’ve overused and overdeveloped ‘saying things aloud’ as a way of remembering and thinking because it’s harder to initially do it silently. If we don’t think about it, our bodies will choose the wrong method of dealing with things.
I agree wholeheartedly with the guy who said get back in the gym. Proactively choose to ignore “the laydeez” therein. Focus on your body and the weight – period.
If you want to look at another’s “execution” of movements and observe how it’s helping or deforming them, then IMO that’s your prerogative. “Great yeah, that’s it, you’re going to end up a narrow shouldered hump-backed hand grenade, a “look” we all aspire to, was my unflinching not change my eyes one iota, when a laydee snapped her head to stare at me because (THEY ALWAYS WATCH THE MIRRORS) and I had zilch to be ashamed of as I was watching “the form” “the execution of the movement” NOT “the person doing it” . “Don’t even flatter yourself bitch” is what I think when laydeez at the gym attempt to “make it” ANYTHING else.
Anatomy, kinesiology, physiology, are all worth studying. There is something appealing and fulfilling when you learn the Latin of weightlifting in depth.
It’s powerful in its own way i.e. the ability to change your body.
When guys train really hard, 100% of each day’s problems will be manageable and do-able. Things that normally are irritating, are like water off a duck’s back. You will be focusing on eating more protein, getting more sleep, training more effectively as opposed to, “I cannot believe the s~~~ this or those bitches are pulling now.”
There will ALWAYS be bitches pulling s~~~. “That’s what they do, that’s all they do” you CAN stop them by actively deciding ahead of time to ignore them.Bitches are small stuff who WANT to be big stuff; don’t give them that.
Don’t sweat the small stuff (bitches), life is too short for that. I was told decades ago after saying that I was trying to figure them(bitches) out, that if I ever do, write a book because no one’s figured them out yet.
“No ones figured them out” plus the power they’ve been given to destroy men = I ignore them the best that I can. I hope this helps you.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
TwoStep said,
“When we were splitting up, my first wife told me I was a loser and that she could do better than me. A year later I heard that she married a doctor (hypergamy) and had two kids with him. A couple years after that, a mutual friend told me that my ex was miserable in her new marriage and was looking for someone to take her and the kids away. The friend told me that if I want to step in and rescue her and the kids, she would probably take me back.
I told the friend, “You’re out of your f~~~ing mind.”
[/quote]
Still rolling on the floor laughing at such a great reply!! Made my day!"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Thanks. I absolutely loathe having to even see her revolting pig face and the blankness in her expression, that dumb f~~~ no one is home look. She is rude and so bitter now. I think a part of this is she hit the wall big time 4 years ago. She always had a bit of meat on her but had such a young face, big t~~~, wasnt the c~~~ she is now and at least had some decency. Now shes an old hag at the age of 47, obese as f~~~, acts like shes 65 and sits on her fat ass playing facebook games on her laptop. Yet im the s~~~ parent?
Heh. I can’t even imagine what happened to my exes.
When we were splitting up, my first wife told me I was a loser and that she could do better than me. A year later I heard that she married a doctor (hypergamy) and had two kids with him. A couple years after that, a mutual friend told me that my ex was miserable in her new marriage and was looking for someone to take her and the kids away. The friend told me that if I want to step in and rescue her and the kids, she would probably take me back. I told the friend, “You’re out of your f~~~ing mind.”
Second wife was a borderline hoarder. So that’s what we fought over, all the time: Her cluttering the house with piles of random junk that she brought home. After the divorce, when the house was sold and the assets split, I heard she moved out to a small apartment on the shore and went back to her hoarding ways. Like a spider sitting on a giant mound of useless trash.
Oh well, I take some consolation that I’m doing better than either of them. Being “zen” and happy with my life is my revenge on them. Because I can’t imagine that either of them is very happy. They were all about bringing strife and dissension to whomever they were with.
They are nothing more than parasites. My mother turned into this nasty, abusive, massive c~~~y snob, demonizing my birth father, and thinks shes accomplished something in her life. All shes done is spit out 2 more kids (my half siblings) to another man who had a good job all his life and they both now run a business bought for and paid by HIM. None of the money is hers. She knows damn well without that man shed be living in a council house right now working some dead end minimum wage job. She has the life she has now thanks to her ‘man’.
Yet she has a f~~~ing nerve to call me a loser and to stand on my own two feet and I ‘should have done better in school’ when im down on my luck. I’ve done and accomplished more in my 32 years than that weak bitch will ever accomplish in 50 lifetimes. 4 years since she publicly abused me on Facebook and thats when i cut her out of my life for good.
I will never communicate with her ever again. It feels so good to cut out S~~~ from my life.
When my broken hand heals I will be straight back into the gym and sorting this f~~~ing mess out.
Before it heals, consider training: Tibialis anterior, soleus, gastrocnemius, hamstrings, quadriceps, lower abdominals, stretching, and treadmill-interval(cardio-vascular) training.
Oftentimes, most hated body parts can become surprisingly “get along well with you” mates when we are forced to train them exclusively. LOL to be honest, this very minute I’m stalling from going to the gym because a medical condition that I can’t divulge, makes the thought of going to the gym and being careful to not upset said condition a royal pain in the Ass… but, I will go. So will you.The problem with anger is that when you see things for what they are, there actually is A LOT to be angry about. However, you have to choose your thought’s focal point.
Anger is an appropriate response to injustice.
Today, there’s a lot of injustice, so each of us has to choose when and what to focus on regarding it.
Anger will give you energy. Un-effing imaginable energy, but at a cost. It’s like nitrous oxide to an engine. Blue print the motor to racing specifications, set up the system carefully, use it wisely and no problem. Otherwise it’ll blow the motor like sticks of dynamite inside rolls of toilet paper as nitrous has a violent burning pattern. Used too often and the adrenalin like a drug becomes addictive in that we get SO effing worn out from it that it takes more of it to have any normal energy at all. It’s like ages ago people would say “crazy people talk to themselves” when actually what’s happened is they’ve overused and overdeveloped ‘saying things aloud’ as a way of remembering and thinking because it’s harder to initially do it silently. If we don’t think about it, our bodies will choose the wrong method of dealing with things.
I agree wholeheartedly with the guy who said get back in the gym. Proactively choose to ignore “the laydeez” therein. Focus on your body and the weight – period.
If you want to look at another’s “execution” of movements and observe how it’s helping or deforming them, then IMO that’s your prerogative. “Great yeah, that’s it, you’re going to end up a narrow shouldered hump-backed hand grenade, a “look” we all aspire to, was my unflinching not change my eyes one iota, when a laydee snapped her head to stare at me because (THEY ALWAYS WATCH THE MIRRORS) and I had zilch to be ashamed of as I was watching “the form” “the execution of the movement” NOT “the person doing it” . “Don’t even flatter yourself bitch” is what I think when laydeez at the gym attempt to “make it” ANYTHING else.
Anatomy, kinesiology, physiology, are all worth studying. There is something appealing and fulfilling when you learn the Latin of weightlifting in depth.
It’s powerful in its own way i.e. the ability to change your body.
When guys train really hard, 100% of each day’s problems will be manageable and do-able. Things that normally are irritating, are like water off a duck’s back. You will be focusing on eating more protein, getting more sleep, training more effectively as opposed to, “I cannot believe the s~~~ this or those bitches are pulling now.”
There will ALWAYS be bitches pulling s~~~. “That’s what they do, that’s all they do” you CAN stop them by actively deciding ahead of time to ignore them.Bitches are small stuff who WANT to be big stuff; don’t give them that.
Don’t sweat the small stuff (bitches), life is too short for that. I was told decades ago after saying that I was trying to figure them(bitches) out, that if I ever do, write a book because no one’s figured them out yet.
“No ones figured them out” plus the power they’ve been given to destroy men = I ignore them the best that I can. I hope this helps you.
Thanks Experienced, it all helps believe me.
I felt on top of the world when i was in the gym. To see the change in my body was really uplifting. I hope to return to the gym again and reactivate that muscle memory.
TwoStep,”They cease to be worthy of our notice.”
MGTower, “The remarkably nice and polite men that developed zero tolerance.”Great thinking!
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Anonymous0They are nothing more than parasites. My mother turned into this nasty, abusive, massive c~~~y snob, demonizing my birth father, and thinks shes accomplished something in her life. All shes done is spit out 2 more kids (my half siblings) to another man who had a good job all his life and they both now run a business bought for and paid by HIM. None of the money is hers. She knows damn well without that man shed be living in a council house right now working some dead end minimum wage job. She has the life she has now thanks to her ‘man’.
Yet she has a f~~~ing nerve to call me a loser and to stand on my own two feet and I ‘should have done better in school’ when im down on my luck. I’ve done and accomplished more in my 32 years than that weak bitch will ever accomplish in 50 lifetimes. 4 years since she publicly abused me on Facebook and thats when i cut her out of my life for good.
I will never communicate with her ever again. It feels so good to cut out S~~~ from my life.
Good for you! You did the right thing, there. If someone abuses your trust, cut them off. That definitely includes family.
I have no problem cutting off family. My parents (actually, my father and a stepmother) live in the same town as me. I’ve told them that they can call on me in case of emergency, but otherwise I don’t want to deal with them. When I used to stop up and see them a couple years ago, they kept treating me like I was still a dumb teenager. S~~~, I was 58 and my father was in his 80s.
I told them, enough’s enough. I’m not going to be treated like a kid at the age of 58. I don’t know what the f~~~ was going through their heads. But family can be the worst. You really have to draw the line with family and be willing to cut them off if they won’t respect your boundaries.
Dashing Young Dissident, it sounds like you have your head on straight. There’s nothing wrong with you. Just have confidence that you’re doing the right thing. If someone treats you like s~~~, just put up some strong boundaries and move on past them. Stay focused on your own projects and don’t let people take up space in your head.
Anonymous42hey gals lets do something new and magical like every f~~~ing living thing on the planet does and reproduce!
Good one! Like I want kids I can’t teach enjoy or touch, then have to watch them be ruined by the thoughtlessness and recklessness of today’s “empowered women”, then after this bag-over-the-head, punch-in-the-face, kick-to-the-b~~~~, out comes the chains, leg irons, and financially lacerating whips as you’re in total agony watching them take away your family and children so they can also be whipped for coming generations.
My country tis of the;
My-country-is-s~~~ty,,,, we-lost-our-liberty,,,, from-thee-I-bleed,,, land-where-father’hood-has-died,,,, land-where-we-tried-and-died,,, from-every-mouth-we-sing,,, NO WEDDING RING…
I wish I could suppress it. I prob need professional help. Cognitive therapy would come in useful. I just fear one day I will do something stupid out of my impulsive rage reflex and f~~~ my life up.
@DYD! Your mind, your chisel, throw down the crutches, pick up the tools, and get to work, no one else but you can “fix” you! Other men have come in here after endless years of psychotherapy only to be jumping up and down screaming with thankfulness that they finally found the CURE!
We’re not here to push your wheelchair, we’re here to get you walk (hopefully run). I guarantee if you insist on being bushed along like a cripple, you’ll be told to get the f~~~ out and stop wasting our time when we can see your enlightenment and know you possess the answers (and you possess the answers, read what you wrote). It’s tough love or tough s~~~, all depends on your effort, keep reading the minds of MGTOW men from every walk of life and social stature, and you’ll be looking at psychologists the same way you do little as little children! We’re the essence of solidarity and independence, we’re the essence of MAN!
You get that lard-ass land whale teetering toward you and expecting you to yield and jump out of her way. Because vagina. Yes, it’s tempting to do something rash and teach her a lesson.
Hey Two step, use your name to skip out of the way, I look at them like stupid wild animals, I steer or slam the brakes, I maneuver! I don’t want the ramifications of an uncontrollable event, I don’t like washing blood off my life and beating out the dents!
Anonymous0Still rolling on the floor laughing at such a great reply!! Made my day!
Heh. I was stunned that they would even try to run an idea like that past me. No do-overs after a divorce. Once I’m free of a woman, I don’t go back.
They are nothing more than parasites. My mother turned into this nasty, abusive, massive c~~~y snob, demonizing my birth father, and thinks shes accomplished something in her life. All shes done is spit out 2 more kids (my half siblings) to another man who had a good job all his life and they both now run a business bought for and paid by HIM. None of the money is hers. She knows damn well without that man shed be living in a council house right now working some dead end minimum wage job. She has the life she has now thanks to her ‘man’.
Yet she has a f~~~ing nerve to call me a loser and to stand on my own two feet and I ‘should have done better in school’ when im down on my luck. I’ve done and accomplished more in my 32 years than that weak bitch will ever accomplish in 50 lifetimes. 4 years since she publicly abused me on Facebook and thats when i cut her out of my life for good.
I will never communicate with her ever again. It feels so good to cut out S~~~ from my life.It takes a special sort of ASSHOLE to rip into someone who is down at the moment, but for a parent to do it is, “Abuse – Pure And Simple”.
Dealing with abuse from an abusive parent is like wrestling Karelin.
Your decision to cut ties and end it is logical and reasonable.
Also, It. Was. Her. Responsibility. To. Raise. You. Correctly.
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Anonymous25But what you’re saying about interpreting people different, isn’t that just being passive?
Depends what your goal is. If your goal is to be angry, then giving things angry interpretations will make you angry. If your goal is to be calm, then giving things empathic or humorous interpretations is a better choice.
You may want to ask yourself, “what else could this mean”? To get into the habit of giving things different interpretations. So, instead of it being “passive”, what else could it mean that makes you calm, happy and relaxed?
From what you say, the headspace app that teaches mindfulness is something you may find useful. – headspace.com (I’m not selling and I have no affiliation. There’s a free trial. After that if you find it useful, the series on stress may be particularly helpful from what you’ve said).
Hope that’s useful.
These are just things I’ve found useful for me. My ex used to try and push my buttons all the time, so I learned all these strategies. Now I’m immune and it just bounces off.
Another technique you may find helpful, is to visualise a shield of light around you where stuff just bounces off and has no effect on you.
They are nothing more than parasites. My mother turned into this nasty, abusive, massive c~~~y snob, demonizing my birth father, and thinks shes accomplished something in her life. All shes done is spit out 2 more kids (my half siblings) to another man who had a good job all his life and they both now run a business bought for and paid by HIM. None of the money is hers. She knows damn well without that man shed be living in a council house right now working some dead end minimum wage job. She has the life she has now thanks to her ‘man’.
Yet she has a f~~~ing nerve to call me a loser and to stand on my own two feet and I ‘should have done better in school’ when im down on my luck. I’ve done and accomplished more in my 32 years than that weak bitch will ever accomplish in 50 lifetimes. 4 years since she publicly abused me on Facebook and thats when i cut her out of my life for good.
I will never communicate with her ever again. It feels so good to cut out S~~~ from my life.
Good for you! You did the right thing, there. If someone abuses your trust, cut them off. That definitely includes family.
I have no problem cutting off family. My parents (actually, my father and a stepmother) live in the same town as me. I’ve told them that they can call on me in case of emergency, but otherwise I don’t want to deal with them. When I used to stop up and see them a couple years ago, they kept treating me like I was still a dumb teenager. S~~~, I was 58 and my father was in his 80s.
I told them, enough’s enough. I’m not going to be treated like a kid at the age of 58. I don’t know what the f~~~ was going through their heads. But family can be the worst. You really have to draw the line with family and be willing to cut them off if they won’t respect your boundaries.
Dashing Young Dissident, it sounds like you have your head on straight. There’s nothing wrong with you. Just have confidence that you’re doing the right thing. If someone treats you like s~~~, just put up some strong boundaries and move on past them. Stay focused on your own projects and don’t let people take up space in your head.
Cheers twostep! Haha, they treat you like a kid at 58? Wow and i thought i had it bad. Parents just dont get it do they? My mother thinks her husband is the ‘man’ and told me once very sternly and nastily “you’ll never be half the man *insert stepfathers name here* is”. Whatever that means in her pea brain small world. I’m constantly punished for her s~~~ decision, i.e having me with this man ive never met.
hey gals lets do something new and magical like every f~~~ing living thing on the planet does and reproduce!
Good one! Like I want kids I can’t teach enjoy or touch, then have to watch them be ruined by the thoughtlessness and recklessness of today’s “empowered women”, then after this bag-over-the-head, punch-in-the-face, kick-to-the-b~~~~, out comes the chains, leg irons, and financially lacerating whips as you’re in total agony watching them take away your family and children so they can also be whipped for coming generations.
My country tis of the;
My-country-is-s~~~ty,,,, we-lost-our-liberty,,,, from-thee-I-bleed,,, land-where-father’hood-has-died,,,, land-where-we-tried-and-died,,, from-every-mouth-we-sing,,, NO WEDDING RING…
I wish I could suppress it. I prob need professional help. Cognitive therapy would come in useful. I just fear one day I will do something stupid out of my impulsive rage reflex and f~~~ my life up.
@DYD! Your mind, your chisel, throw down the crutches, pick up the tools, and get to work, no one else but you can “fix” you! Other men have come in here after endless years of psychotherapy only to be jumping up and down screaming with thankfulness that they finally found the CURE!
We’re not here to push your wheelchair, we’re here to get you walk (hopefully run). I guarantee if you insist on being bushed along like a cripple, you’ll be told to get the f~~~ out and stop wasting our time when we can see your enlightenment and know you possess the answers (and you possess the answers, read what you wrote). It’s tough love or tough s~~~, all depends on your effort, keep reading the minds of MGTOW men from every walk of life and social stature, and you’ll be looking at psychologists the same way you do little as little children! We’re the essence of solidarity and independence, we’re the essence of MAN!
You get that lard-ass land whale teetering toward you and expecting you to yield and jump out of her way. Because vagina. Yes, it’s tempting to do something rash and teach her a lesson.
Hey Two step, use your name to skip out of the way, I look at them like stupid wild animals, I steer or slam the brakes, I maneuver! I don’t want the ramifications of an uncontrollable event, I don’t like washing blood off my life and beating out the dents!
Gym it is then. Getting a new movie camera when i get back to UK and will make films. None of my family know my talents. They never bothered to find out.
They are nothing more than parasites. My mother turned into this nasty, abusive, massive c~~~y snob, demonizing my birth father, and thinks shes accomplished something in her life. All shes done is spit out 2 more kids (my half siblings) to another man who had a good job all his life and they both now run a business bought for and paid by HIM. None of the money is hers. She knows damn well without that man shed be living in a council house right now working some dead end minimum wage job. She has the life she has now thanks to her ‘man’.
Yet she has a f~~~ing nerve to call me a loser and to stand on my own two feet and I ‘should have done better in school’ when im down on my luck. I’ve done and accomplished more in my 32 years than that weak bitch will ever accomplish in 50 lifetimes. 4 years since she publicly abused me on Facebook and thats when i cut her out of my life for good.
I will never communicate with her ever again. It feels so good to cut out S~~~ from my life.It takes a special sort of ASSHOLE to rip into someone who is down at the moment, but for a parent to do it is, “Abuse – Pure And Simple”.
Dealing with abuse from an abusive parent is like wrestling Karelin.
Your decision to cut ties and end it is logical and reasonable.
Also, It. Was. Her. Responsibility. To. Raise. You. Correctly.
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!I remind her of her first husband, my American birth father, and she takes it out on me. Like thats even fair or logical.
I’m a professional drummer, I’m very good at creative writing, I sing, I’m learning guitar and I have always been very good at sport. I was told I would make it professionally as a soccer player, but then my irregular heart beat kicked in and ruined everything. But apparently im a loser with nothing going for me.
My mother judges everything from a superficial standpoint. I’m YET to make a success of myself and have 20 plus years on her.
But what you’re saying about interpreting people different, isn’t that just being passive?
Depends what your goal is. If your goal is to be angry, then giving things angry interpretations will make you angry. If your goal is to be calm, then giving things empathic or humorous interpretations is a better choice.
You may want to ask yourself, “what else could this mean”? To get into the habit of giving things different interpretations. So, instead of it being “passive”, what else could it mean that makes you calm, happy and relaxed?
From what you say, the headspace app that teaches mindfulness is something you may find useful. – headspace.com (I’m not selling and I have no affiliation. There’s a free trial. After that if you find it useful, the series on stress may be particularly helpful from what you’ve said).
Hope that’s useful.
These are just things I’ve found useful for me. My ex used to try and push my buttons all the time, so I learned all these strategies. Now I’m immune and it just bounces off.
Another technique you may find helpful, is to visualise a shield of light around you where stuff just bounces off and has no effect on you.
Thanks for the tips. Anger/rage can be really paralyzing, and utterly consume me at times. I have a broken hand because of it now. Only i suffer in the end. Vicious cycle.
Anonymous0Cheers twostep! Haha, they treat you like a kid at 58? Wow and i thought i had it bad. Parents just dont get it do they? My mother thinks her husband is the ‘man’ and told me once very sternly and nastily “you’ll never be half the man *insert stepfathers name here* is”. Whatever that means in her pea brain small world. I’m constantly punished for her s~~~ decision, i.e having me with this man ive never met.
Ouch, that’s harsh! Definitely, cut that bitch off. She’s trying to use your head as a toxic waste dump. There’s no excuse for s~~~ like that.
Like I said, your instincts are healthy. You’re not in the wrong here. It’s just a question of channeling that energy in a way that will benefit you. There have been some great posts here about hitting the gym and lifting, and that sounds like a good starting point.
All the best to you, brother!
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