Having no stake in society…

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

That seems to be a very defeatist attitude, not saying you’re wrong. But that assumes that your only point in life is to procreate. Which sounds good on paper, but it’s also important to live a fulfilled life.

Like I said, that doesn’t make you wrong. I don’t have a stake in society either because society hates me and treats me like s~~~. Society is the one that will treat me like a tool and send me to die to protect it, and then call me a monster because I have a dick. It’s like dating a crazy girl. Just tap out, and stay away from crazy.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[Northern SoulParticipant 186]

thisistheguy123 wrote:

The first challenge I face is finding my new ambition…I know it will come, just have to find the best way to achieve it

Good man. Like you I am just starting out on my journey. No need to force anything – in time you will try new things some you will like others you can just put down to experience.

In terms of hobbies – I used to have few until I married and lost my identity. Now divorced, I really want go hiking and camping – not sure why but it just takes my fancy. It’s healthy and outdoors; learn new survival skills etc. Scotland is supposed to be amazing (providing the weather is good) so may take a trip up there one week, after I have sorted myself out. I may hate it though but hey gotta try it to find out.

Above all the most important thing is to stay positive. It rubs off on other people and your social environment which leads to new opportunities whether career, hobbies etc – it is self-fulfilling. Tomorrow is a new day : )

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Sorry to disillusion you but so long as you are still here, you have a stake… it’s just that things are so easy for us here and now that we feel we can pretend nothing matters.

This is merely a testament to how well our society operates, that we can sit comfortably in our homes and make fun of social justice warriors and feminists. I am sure if there were bombs going off at your corner grocer and your neighbor’s house was on fire you would not be so cavalier.

[Anonymous 25]

What keeps me running is the goal of a return to democracy and the Rule of Law (equality before the law and the same laws apply to everyone).

And that those who have abused power and been corrupt and persecuted men to line their own pockets go to jail. It will happen.

And it’s happening much quicker than I’d expected. UK goes Brexit, US elects Trump, the Socialist Republic of Europe is falling apart. If I were a prominent feminist I would be looking for a remote hideaway to flee to. But I’m not, so I plan to happily sit back and enjoy the fireworks as they get whats coming to them

[SkeptiskParticipant 3679]

I’m just floating, meaning I work to have food, roof over my head and internet. Focuses only on what I want means I play video-games when I have time, and nothing else matters really. If everything went to the s~~~ters, I’d probably grab my stuff and do what I need to survive. I’d like to see how society will collapse. Maybe it won’t be a visible collapse, only structural damage (who rules etc.), but I’m curious to see societal shifting as I’m a scientist at heart.

Anonymous wrote:

What keeps me running is the goal of a return to democracy and the Rule of Law (equality before the law and the same laws apply to everyone).

And that those who have abused power and been corrupt and persecuted men to line their own pockets go to jail. It will happen.

And it’s happening much quicker than I’d expected. UK goes Brexit, US elects Trump, the Socialist Republic of Europe is falling apart. If I were a prominent feminist I would be looking for a remote hideaway to flee to. But I’m not, so I plan to happily sit back and enjoy the fireworks as they get whats coming to them

There won’t be a place on Earth they can flee to, as they’ve made themselves very unpopular with everybody.

"Expecting to find a decent woman on a dating site is like dumpster diving and expecting to come out with a gourmet meal." Won'tGetFooledAgain

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

The only real stake I have in society is our constitution/bill of rights. Anything that keeps people from f~~~ing with my basic freedoms without cause.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[BeerParticipant 11832]

I felt the same way when I realized marriage was a scam and even if you find a woman who hasn’t already had a long ride on the carousel, you are still pretty much handing her the power to destroy your future on a whim the second you sign a marriage contract or get her pregnant.

What I’ve come to realize though is that its not that you don’t have a stake in society, its that society has been unable to shackle you. You are free to explore your own hobbies and interests. Since you don’t have to be a work horse for others you can indulge yourself in any ways you see fit. You’ll also have more disposable income to invest so you can waste less of your life working as well. Maybe you won’t walk that path you were brainwashed into believing was the right way to live your life, but hey, its not your fault the rules have changed and the game is currently rigged against us. Why play a rigged game you know is rigged when you can just go do something else? Its nothing to feel down about, because you would have felt 10x worse coming to the same conclusion but having had f~~~ed your life up first.

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

Northern Soul wrote:

thisistheguy123 wrote:

The first challenge I face is finding my new ambition…I know it will come, just have to find the best way to achieve it

Good man. Like you I am just starting out on my journey. No need to force anything – in time you will try new things some you will like others you can just put down to experience.

In terms of hobbies – I used to have few until I married and lost my identity. Now divorced, I really want go hiking and camping – not sure why but it just takes my fancy. It’s healthy and outdoors; learn new survival skills etc. Scotland is supposed to be amazing (providing the weather is good) so may take a trip up there one week, after I have sorted myself out. I may hate it though but hey gotta try it to find out.

Above all the most important thing is to stay positive. It rubs off on other people and your social environment which leads to new opportunities whether career, hobbies etc – it is self-fulfilling. Tomorrow is a new day : )

I need to get back to being positive, which will come in time…I can already feel it changing, felt sorry for myself for too long now.

Have to find hobbies again, probably join a boxing club and get back into that sport.

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

Stargazer wrote:

Sorry to disillusion you but so long as you are still here, you have a stake… it’s just that things are so easy for us here and now that we feel we can pretend nothing matters.

This is merely a testament to how well our society operates, that we can sit comfortably in our homes and make fun of social justice warriors and feminists. I am sure if there were bombs going off at your corner grocer and your neighbor’s house was on fire you would not be so cavalier.

I agree with the last bit, I usually use the same point when people are speaking about more spiritual or “enlightening” topics, where it’s easy to think/speak of such things when we really don’t have to worry about much.

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

Beer wrote:

I felt the same way when I realized marriage was a scam and even if you find a woman who hasn’t already had a long ride on the carousel, you are still pretty much handing her the power to destroy your future on a whim the second you sign a marriage contract or get her pregnant.

What I’ve come to realize though is that its not that you don’t have a stake in society, its that society has been unable to shackle you. You are free to explore your own hobbies and interests. Since you don’t have to be a work horse for others you can indulge yourself in any ways you see fit. You’ll also have more disposable income to invest so you can waste less of your life working as well. Maybe you won’t walk that path you were brainwashed into believing was the right way to live your life, but hey, its not your fault the rules have changed and the game is currently rigged against us. Why play a rigged game you know is rigged when you can just go do something else? Its nothing to feel down about, because you would have felt 10x worse coming to the same conclusion but having had f~~~ed your life up first.

I hear you, it is nice to be able to do exactly what I want, when I want, and how I want.

I’m still working towards not relying on others to create my own happiness as I was conditioned to for the past 30 years…It’s not the easiest thing, but probably will be one of the most satisfying things once completed.

I do sometimes still have thoughts of actually wanting to not feel so lonely physically, this is usually extinguished whenever I actually do go out with the intentions of chatting up women to see what’s out there, and it’s extinguished QUICKLY once they open their mouth – for the most part.

I suppose I do need to redefine a “stake in society”, just the brainwashing/indoctrination I first need to get rid of.

[goadsaidParticipant 100]

I feel exactly like you OP. Basic survival instincts keep me from not being careless enough to walk in front of trains but I have no emotional connection to what happens in society. Nuclear war? I might survive in an epic adventure which sees me leading some new regrowth of society somewhere. Maybe not. Aliens come and make everything eternally perfect? Cool. Or maybe they zap us all – o well. Nothing happens: I can live with it.
If I understand what OP is saying, he just doesn’t feel passionately enough about anything to exert himself. I also won’t soon be rushing into a burning building to save children or putting on fatigues to defend my country. I just exist until someone bothers me at which point I fight them until they are too damaged to bother me again.

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

goadsaid wrote:

I feel exactly like you OP. Basic survival instincts keep me from not being careless enough to walk in front of trains but I have no emotional connection to what happens in society. Nuclear war? I might survive in an epic adventure which sees me leading some new regrowth of society somewhere. Maybe not. Aliens come and make everything eternally perfect? Cool. Or maybe they zap us all – o well. Nothing happens: I can live with it.
If I understand what OP is saying, he just doesn’t feel passionately enough about anything to exert himself. I also won’t soon be rushing into a burning building to save children or putting on fatigues to defend my country. I just exist until someone bothers me at which point I fight them until they are too damaged to bother me again.

I’ve never honestly thought about putting myself in front of a moving train…Not sure if that’s being a coward or not to be honest, I had this discussion not too long ago about if suicide takes strength or weakness…My whole life I thought it was weakness.

But I never honestly thought about ending myself.

This is the thing though, I have no reason to hope/build/sacrifice to create a better future.
Regardless of my nieces and nephews who I hope have a great life, I’m pretty sure having a child of your own is completely different and changes your perspectives on a lot of things.

I lost a lot of my passion in 2016 with regards to many areas of life; work, family, love.
Those are pillars in some peoples eyes, and I am not reworking my own mentality to not think of these as pillars in life.

As I said, perhaps boxing could be my next passion…However right now I have to focus on finding a new job as the s~~~ endured during 2016 ruined me for this company

[Anonymous 3]

If you have no passion, then you have no passion. There’s nothing good or bad about it.

It’s just another one of these things that people shame others on. Oh you can’t get laid, something wrong with you. You don’t want to get laid, something wrong with you. You don’t get married, you don’t want children, you don’t watch football, you don’t eat pizza, you don’t drink, you don’t want to have sex, you don’t do this, you don’t do that, something wrong with you.

Ultimately, we all live a different reality. I remember visiting a relative of mine. He tore up so badly upon seeing an old picture my family brought. It meant a lot to him. To me, it was nothing, meant absolutely nothing to me, it was just another photograph. Is there something wrong with him? Is there something wrong with me? I mean it’s the same photograph after all, or is it? I don’t know, who knows.

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

Anonymous wrote:

If you have no passion, then you have no passion. There’s nothing good or bad about it.

It’s just another one of these things that people shame others on. Oh you can’t get laid, something wrong with you. You don’t want to get laid, something wrong with you. You don’t get married, you don’t want children, you don’t watch football, you don’t eat pizza, you don’t drink, you don’t want to have sex, you don’t do this, you don’t do that, something wrong with you.

Ultimately, we all live a different reality. I remember visiting a relative of mine. He tore up so badly upon seeing an old picture my family brought. It meant a lot to him. To me, it was nothing, meant absolutely nothing to me, it was just another photograph. Is there something wrong with him? Is there something wrong with me? I mean it’s the same photograph after all, or is it? I don’t know, who knows.

While I get where you’re coming from, I use to have a ton of passion and a zest for life.

All that seems to have crumbled in 2016, but time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself back into the ring that is life.

[Anonymous 2]

Marriage, for the longest time, was nothing but a business transaction. The “falling in love and marrying the love of your life” bollocks is a very new way of doing things. For thousands of years, marriage went like this: A father would try and find a man that he felt would make a suitable husband for his daughter. If the man and the father came to an agreement, the daughter would be married to the man, and the father would provide a dowry as a financial kickstarter for the newly married couple. From that point on, the husband was responsible for caring for his wife until death did them part. Divorce was illegal in order to keep the man from trading his wife in for a newer and better looking model down the road. It had absolutely nothing to do with love. Whether or not the couple loved each other was considered irrelevant. That’s the way marriage was for thousands of years.

This romanticized version of marriage that our society has is nothing like the original version of what marriage was, and if marriage was so sacred to women, then they wouldn’t be initiating 70% of divorces. Women say “Men don’t want to commit because they don’t want to grow up and be responsible”, yet women want to end a marriage the very second they decide that they aren’t happy. Men don’t want to commit because women don’t want to stay commmitted. No surprise there though, considering that women are incentivized by divorce. It doesn’t even matter if the woman cheated on her husband. She’ll still get everything. Any man who is willing to take on that kind of a s~~~ deal is a damn fool.

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

Anonymous wrote:

Marriage, for the longest time, was nothing but a business transaction. The “falling in love and marrying the love of your life” bollocks is a very new way of doing things. For thousands of years, marriage went like this: A father would try and find a man that he felt would make a suitable husband for his daughter. If the man and the father came to an agreement, the daughter would be married to the man, and the father would provide a dowry as a financial kickstarter for the newly married couple. From that point on, the husband was responsible for caring for his wife until death did them part. Divorce was illegal in order to keep the man from trading his wife in for a newer and better looking model down the road. It had absolutely nothing to do with love. Whether or not the couple loved each other was considered irrelevant. That’s the way marriage was for thousands of years.

This romanticized version of marriage that our society has is nothing like the original version of what marriage was, and if marriage was so sacred to women, then they wouldn’t be initiating 70% of divorces. Women say “Men don’t want to commit because they don’t want to grow up and be responsible”, yet women want to end a marriage the very second they decide that they aren’t happy. Men don’t want to commit because women don’t want to stay commmitted. No surprise there though, considering that women are incentivized by divorce. It doesn’t even matter if the woman cheated on her husband. She’ll still get everything. Any man who is willing to take on that kind of a s~~~ deal is a damn fool.

You’re right…I wonder what days like that would look like today.

However, I was under the impression that the men always provided the dowry to the woman’s family as a sign the man is financially responsible enough to take care of their girl.
…Maybe I am thinking of a specific different culture though.

But it’s not solely about marriage…However the funniest thing happened, with all these down and out feelings I have been presented with a business opportunity set to completely change my life; different country, new business partner, etc.

…At least now I have something to think about and actually look forward to if I decide to take the plunge.

[Northern SoulParticipant 186]

thisistheguy123 wrote:

But it’s not solely about marriage…However the funniest thing happened, with all these down and out feelings I have been presented with a business opportunity set to completely change my life; different country, new business partner, etc.
…At least now I have something to think about and actually look forward to if I decide to take the plunge.

If the terms are favourable. Do it. Nothing ventured and all that…

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

Northern Soul wrote:

thisistheguy123 wrote:

But it’s not solely about marriage…However the funniest thing happened, with all these down and out feelings I have been presented with a business opportunity set to completely change my life; different country, new business partner, etc.
…At least now I have something to think about and actually look forward to if I decide to take the plunge.

If the terms are favourable. Do it. Nothing ventured and all that…

Yea, completely agree.

I would be putting up the majority of the cash, however he has the industry expertise required.

You can make back capital, so it’s not the most important thing when compared to true experience.

[Northern SoulParticipant 186]

thisistheguy123 wrote:

Yea, completely agree.
I would be putting up the majority of the cash, however he has the industry expertise required.
You can make back capital, so it’s not the most important thing when compared to true experience

Sounds good. In business the most important thing is “trust”. If you are putting your money on the line then you really need to trust your partner. If things go wrong (which happens in business) you both need to be able to stay strong as a team to work through it. I am sure you have considered the risks but just thought worth mentioning. If you think his expertise is of equivalent value to your financial contribution and consider that a fair trade off and you are happy with the business plan and level of risk involved then go for it. I wish you every success : )

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

Northern Soul wrote:

thisistheguy123 wrote:

Yea, completely agree.
I would be putting up the majority of the cash, however he has the industry expertise required.
You can make back capital, so it’s not the most important thing when compared to true experience

Sounds good. In business the most important thing is “trust”. If you are putting your money on the line then you really need to trust your partner. If things go wrong (which happens in business) you both need to be able to stay strong as a team to work through it. I am sure you have considered the risks but just thought worth mentioning. If you think his expertise is of equivalent value to your financial contribution and consider that a fair trade off and you are happy with the business plan and level of risk involved then go for it. I wish you every success : )

Well I’ve known him for 10 years, never through business but have two friends who were his former partners in his previous business who speak highly of him

So the trust is there, especially from seeing his life change in the past 5 years (since having kids) to become VERY responsible with money (outside of buying cars), and giving him more ambition.

Plus it’s pretty much both our dreams, and we have great chemistry, so I do think we can both be successful together.

Thank you! I do appreciate your well wishes 🙂

[Author]

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