Freelancing: taking one on the chin

[LionOnTheLooseParticipant 1315]

So today was a tough day. After leaving my ex wife three years ago, I went back to the music business which I’d been in before we were together, and then left to get a “proper job” when we got married (sigh…). I’ve been fully freelance for about 18 months now, and I’m able to make a living from it, but it’s a learning curve.

To be honest, a few months ago I kind of f~~~ed up on one of my projects, underestimating how long something would take, and ended up p~~~ing the client off. Had a meeting with them today where I ate s~~~, took the criticism on the chin, and managed to start rebuilding the relationship and get the project back on track.

I absolutely hate the feeling of f~~~ing up. Always have done, and being a high achiever as a kid didn’t give me much experience of it. Then again, I learnt a big lesson from this experience. I’ve learnt so much in the last 18 months.

Narwhal said something interesting the other day on another thread:

narwhal wrote:

I’ll also add that there is something about us that makes it easy to blame your spouse for all the things that go wrong in life. Some of it’s warranted, but much of it is external stresses in life and your own short comings. Once the divorce is past you, it becomes clear that the external forces are still there, and you’re still you.

This is so true. My ex put me down on a daily basis and I ended up not knowing which of her criticisms to believe. Now she’s gone, I know a lot of them were untrue, but in fairness there were problems I had then which haven’t gone away, so some of the things she said were accurate. I’m self-aware enough now to know that I have some big blind spots, and I’m working on better understanding them, and taking steps to minimise the problems they cause. It’s an ongoing process.

I can’t blame her for anything I get wrong now, and that feels good. Being freelance is difficult: you’re on your own, and have to take responsibility. Then again, the freedom is like nothing else and I can never imagine going back to being an employee. To anyone who’s thinking of going freelance, I’d say if you can then it’s the best thing ever work-wise. And at least as a MGTOW you’re working for yourself.

Just a few ramblings. Thanks to anyone who reads; I feel a lot of my “real life” friends wouldn’t understand (few of them are freelance, none are red pill, and none understand the idea that being a man is about taking things on the chin sometimes) so I haven’t bothered telling any of them the story, but I know you guys get it.

There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.

[Anonymous 54]

Been doing it for near a half Centery.
The ultimate life of the Lone Wolf.
But you better be damned good.
And Confident.

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

I’m self-aware enough now to know that I have some big blind spots, and I’m working on better understanding them, and taking steps to minimise the problems they cause. It’s an ongoing process.

Hey Lion – As long as there’s progress what more can we ask for? As men we can be hard on ourselves a lot of the time but as long as we’re moving in the RIGHT DIRECTION – ultimately it’s all good.

Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years. – Bill Gates

It’s an interesting topic how taking the MGTOW route really forces you to be introspective and face the realities of your own skills AND shortcomings.

You mentioned how you can’t blame you ex wife anymore – and that feels good. Facing the truth about women is one thing. Facing the truth about oneself is another.

If these experiences involve ‘taking one on the chin’ then that’s part of it and a NECESSARY part.

I admire your tenacity to work freelance. It’s something I’d eventually like to do but really need more ‘real world’ experience first.

Tomorrow is a new day 🙂

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

[LionOnTheLooseParticipant 1315]

Anonymous wrote:

Been doing it for near a half Centery.
The ultimate life of the Lone Wolf.
But you better be damned good.
And Confident.

Big respect, Old Heyoka. How amazing to have done it for so long. I may have failings but I know that I’m bloody good at what I do, so I’ll do just fine.

Arcturis wrote:

Hey Lion – As long as there’s progress what more can we ask for?

Hey Arcturis buddy, really appreciate it man. That Bill Gates quote is so true (I think I saw you write it before somewhere?!–it’s worth repeating, definitely!). And I’ve become very long-term/strategic in my thinking generally. It helps that my line of work is not limited by age: if I’m lucky to make it to my 90s, I could still be doing what I do.

Absolutely right about facing yourself. I think this obsession with relationships which so many people have is so unhealthy, for women as well as men actually. I think people become so co-dependent, and don’t have enough solitude to learn about themselves. Especially as young adults, I think. My ex wife and I got together when I was 20 and she 19; we weren’t properly adults yet and I think the co-dependency of the relationship prevented us both from figuring out who we were.

I commend freelancing to you but I think you’re right that real world/work experience is helpful. In hindsight, I don’t think I could have gone freelance aged 25 when I left music and got this “proper job” in the City. I hated so much about it, but it gave me so many skills to let me go freelance 10 years down the line. If you follow that Bill Gates line of thinking, there’s no harm with seeing a stage of your life as a kind of professional training period for your future freelance career. I hope you get there one day but no need to hurry!

Btw I’ve been meaning to say that your Avatar is awesome: that’s some cool big cat there with the big shades. We need to start a mini MGTOW big cats gang. 😀

There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

I think people become so co-dependent, and don’t have enough solitude to learn about themselves. Especially as young adults, I think. My ex wife and I got together when I was 20 and she 19; we weren’t properly adults yet and I think the co-dependency of the relationship prevented us both from figuring out who we were.

Very true. My relationship that ended at the end of 2017 – we were of similar age – together from 18-26.

We grew together but not as individuals. This was an error.

Again, I forget the source but someone said:

“We spend more time dating other people, that we never date ourselves”

This takes us back to the value of introspection…

– Cheers mate. There’s lots of MGTOW cats on here. Ironic considering the stick we give crazy cat women. I might be able to sort you out some shades! 😀

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

[AwakenedParticipant 35201]

TYPICAL, Male and Female Differences All Day-Every Day.

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

I kind of f~~~ed up on one of my projects,

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

I absolutely hate the feeling of f~~~ing up.

YOU Realized/Admitted that YOU F~~~ed up. Women will always BLAME Others, and never accept responsibility for THEIR Shortcomings.

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

I learnt a big lesson from this experience.

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

I’ve learnt so much in the last 18 months.

YOU have Learned from YOUR Mistakes/Shortcomings, and will work to Overcome them Now and in the Future.

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

there were problems I had then which haven’t gone away

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

I can’t blame her for anything I get wrong now, and that feels good.

Yes, Another Male Trait of Not Blaming OTHERS for what are YOUR Shortcomings.

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

being a man is about taking things on the chin sometimes)

Men Take Responsibility for THEIR ACTIONS, and Accept BOTH the Good and the BAD.

These are Not the type of Realizations, Actions, and Behaviors that come from your average Hamster Wheel.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Anonymous 54]

You’ ll do Great Lion on the Loose!!!

[ArcturisParticipant 2819]

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

If you follow that Bill Gates line of thinking, there’s no harm with seeing a stage of your life as a kind of professional training period for your future freelance career. I hope you get there one day but no need to hurry!

Absolutely. I’m at that crossroads now. I have a great job but I need to move back down south (closer to London) for better opportunities.

This will no doubt require a pay cut PLUS the higher cost of living. BUT in the long-run it’s going to be the best choice for me.

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

Then again, the freedom is like nothing else and I can never imagine going back to being an employee

I look forward to this one day 😀

Protect Your Sovereignty. Women WILL TRY To Manipulate You. #NOCONTACT #ICETHEMOUT

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

A mistake is an opportunity to learn and do better. Assuming it’s not a fatal mistake or costs a client a significant amount of money, it’s usually possible to come back from a mistake by admitting what happened and taking responsibiity for whatever consequences may come and for making it right.

Once I deleted a year’s worth of my clients’ data. A while year, gone. What I did was reach out to them and explain to them immediately what I had done and vow to reconstruct the data from backups, logs and derivative data.

Then I gave them three months of free usage of the system. It cost me a quarter of my annual income, but I won them back. Whatever humiliation I may have felt over it was worthwhile.

[LionOnTheLooseParticipant 1315]

Arcturis wrote:

There’s lots of MGTOW cats on here. Ironic considering the stick we give crazy cat women.

I’d like to see a crazy cat lady with actual tigers and lions!

Arcturis wrote:

I might be able to sort you out some shades! 😀

Amazing (although I don’t want to rain on your parade…).

Anonymous wrote:

You’ ll do Great Lion on the Loose!!!

Thanks a lot! I’m going to aspire to your half-century of Lone Wolf freelancing.

Stargazer wrote:

Whatever humiliation I may have felt over it was worthwhile.

Wow Stargazer, that’s quite a story and I was very glad to hear it. Respect. It sounds like it worked out well in the end, too. None of us can avoid all c~~~-ups, but we can choose how we react to it; your approach sounds terrific and I’m sure the client appreciated it.

There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.

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