Down-and-out new MGHOW. Really needing support right now

[Proverbs21:9Participant 13]

Hey guys, I’m a new MGTOW and I just suffered my most devastating heartbreak a little over a month ago.

A little backstory: Around 2 years ago I began a relationship with a beautiful, slender, sexy Punjabi girl who’s a nurse in training with aspirations to become a physician. So far so good. The relationship for the most part was excellent. She was the first girlfriend that my family approved of, and my friends loved her. She treated me like a man, she always, ALWAYS did things to remind me how much she cared for me (cooking for me, bought me clothes that I needed without asking, etc). We spent many a days watching the sunset with my dog, deep diving into each others mind’s and soul’s; deeply in love. We met each other at a time where we were going through hardship in our lives and we grew through things together. We really, truly bonded.

Problems however began to surface as I started smoking marijuana extremely excessively. 4-5 times per day. The sex that was once the most amazing I’ve ever had became infrequent and a little passionless. I started having terrible brain fog and an awful indifference to everything. My family, my friends, my job, my fitness, my interests….and her as well. All of those avenues of my life began to erode. We started fighting a lot more and she really showed her teeth (her father was an abusive alcoholic so she inherited some of his traits of course), I started failing s~~~-tests like crazy, and guy friends of her past started coming out randomly from the woodwork.

Last month we had a fight over the phone (truth be told, not the worst one we’ve ever had) and she told me at the end of it she couldn’t handle it any more and wanted to break it off. We live in the same neighborhood and already 2 weeks after the break up she’s out driving around with a new guy.

HYPERGAMY WINS AGAIN GENTLEMEN!!!!!!!!!!

Since the break up I’ve gone cold turkey from the pot and have been doing everything I can to get my life back in order. I’m putting more effort into my job and my relationships with loved ones; and my fitness and diet are back on track.

Here’s the problem with quitting weed though – your dreams come back with a vengeance since you get your REM sleeps back. Almost each and every single night I’m having dreams about her and I together still happy, or nightmares about her with other men and she and her friend are laughing at me in the dream. I take melatonin most nights but I still wake up in sweats, and then cry/sigh myself back to sleep – only to dream about her again.

I’m in tears as I write this now. I know I can never have her again or go back to her, but I still cherish the sweet memories of the times where it felt like we made time stop. I also feel like a complete piece of s~~~ loser who can’t keep a good woman down. Hands down the best woman I’ve ever had a relationship with, and the longest one at that.

I’m a Christian by background and am taking my faith a lot more seriously as I feel God is trying to get through to me and teach me lessons.

So I ask you gentlemen – What more can I do to feel better/get over her? Just time? Continue to suffer until I don’t anymore? I genuinely miss intimacy and sex but I know as a MGTOW and especially as a Christian that one night stands/FWB is a tumultuous way of getting my rocks off……….I’m just simply lost. Your prayers and insights are extremely valued.

Thank you.

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

First, welcome. Many of us have lived though the pain you are feeling. The hypergamy which your girlfriend displayed is not the least bit surprising. It exists in all women. As do the s~~~ tests. Once you understand and accept this trait – you may have less urge to go back to another woman. Keep focused on yourself. You must never think of yourself as a loser. She’s the one who lost you. I’m still one who enjoys the company of some women – but – I keep my guard up at all times. I wish you well!

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

I wrote a long something here but I pressed the wrong key and it got flushed. I’ll keep it short this time. Read this:

Your Perfect Match Snowflake Is On This Planet Somewhere

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

See a doctor. Maybe a psychological provider.

With any loss, recovery takes time.

PS. Stay away from drugs.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Hang in there bro. That was the jist of the message that I flushed by accident.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 43]

Step 1 Get off the weed. You are hiding from something. There is a question you are avoiding answering, and you are hiding behind drugs, and the stupid high that comes from being with a woman. Figure out what the question is, and then spend some quiet time and answer your question. Ask your question out loud, and listen for the answer. I will give you a hint about the question. You will not like the answer, nor should you.

Step 2 She wasn’t your girlfriend, it was just your turn. It is now someone else’s turn.

Step 3 You need to go to the gym. crush your demons with iron, drown them in sweat. Being physically tired will help you sleep.

Step 5 Every time you think of this chick, slam a finger in a door. You get to think of this chick 9 more times. After that if you are still thinking of this c~~~, smash a toe with a hammer. It will take some time for you to be able to grip a hammer again, but the toe smashing thing will be worth it. A week and a half of bashing your toes should cure you of pining for a soulless creature who did not love you, but rather loved your shelter, food, money and protection.

Step 6 Come back here and discuss your progress with step 4. I will be here waiting for your report.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

First off, welcome.

Based on your story, I’m not sure where you come up with hypergamy wins again. It sounds like you had a unicorn and you screwed it up (based on what you wrote). You were the one that started smoking pot 4-5 times a day. And if you know she has issues with her dad, then were they really s~~~ tests or does she know more about addiction than you? What did you need an escape from? In her mind, you were escaping from her.

Ok, I’ll back off. You are doing the right things now, but for the wrong reasons. Don’t get your life in order to win her back, do it for you. Because if you don’t care enough about yourself, you’ll never change long term for anyone else. If God is trying to teach you something, it’s that you have to love yourself first before you deserve to have someone else love you. If you NEED someone else in order to feel good about yourself then you have a girlfriend and she has a job. It’s not really fair to her.

Order the good wine

[Proverbs21:9Participant 13]

@truthseeker82: Thanks for the welcoming, and the wishes. How exactly does one guard their heart from the seduction of women to come?

@Point Of No Return: I gave it a read. While it’s a pretty depressing state of affairs, I can’t say you’re wrong. Thanks for the pat on the back, brother.

@jan.Sobieski: Not sure what you mean by Psychological Provider. Can you expand on that? If I do go seek the help of a psychologist/psychiatrist; isn’t there a big chance it could be a feminist/blue-piller?

[CUNTHATERParticipant 324]

Time heals….unfortunately you don’t forget, get jaded, and get angry…You see women for who they are: C~~~S. They do this s~~~ because they think they can get away with it. Manginas and the media have put these superficial dumbasses on the pedestal. You need to stop if you still do. They are not worth it. They s~~~ and fart like everyone does. I’m a doctor and have examined these bitches. I’ve placed a speculum in their stinking c~~~s and seen some disgusting s~~~ in there (white goooeeey stinking s~~~). I’ve seen them s~~~ while delivering a baby. No way in hell are they princess. Don’t idealize them (which I used to do). They are not worth it. When men and society start recognizing them for being equal/lower than men as in the old days, things will get better as far as relationships are concern. Right now, they think there is always some asshole waiting in line to sniff their stinking c~~~. Not worth it. Beat off, go get a hooker, etc. if the desire arises. Once the societal value of these c~~~s drop off things will get better….On a side note, I went to medical school after receiving B.S., M.S., and Ph.D degrees in engineering against my mother’s wishes. She wanted me to marry, settle down, and become a mangina. I’m almost finished with residency and I’m glad that I didn’t marry from my experience with these c~~~s and the experiences shared by the men in this site. Be productive with your life and forget about marrying a c~~~. F~~~ them and kick them out.

American cunts constantly think they live in a reality TV show.....Evil POSs....ALL CUNTS ARE THE SAME….THERE ARE NO UNICORNS!!! EVEN CHURCH GOING, PROCLAIMED VIRGINS ARE THE SAME CUNTS…..THEY ALL MONKEY BRANCH…TO HELL WITH THEM ALL!!!

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

So, how to flush this bitch from your mind. Its going to be tough BECAUSE after reading your post it is clear you still have her on a pedestal, and you still long for the fantasy she provided. You have refused to accept the reality that your experience with her was all fake (on her end) Once you accept the fact mentally and emotionally that it was all theater you can improve.

Yes and welcome—this forum will be a BIG help…I promise. And about the woman I can only say:

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

If you want to think of it as a lesson, in the sense of something to be learned, then I offer this opinion: the time has come to do some hiking down a pretty rough trail ALL BY YOURSELF! Get your gear ready and be prepared as they say, take yourself by the hand and offer yourself the enjoyment of your own company and the enjoyment of what the world that exists around you has to offer. Notice beauty around you that has nothing to do with a woman. Notice the details in your surroundings. Look for the interactions within nature that are neither good nor evil. These interactions simply are! Capture them and appropriate them, give positive meaning to things that affect you. And lastly, UNC~~~! Do not factor in women. You must come to terms with your lizard brain. Do it in steps, consider it a temporary measure if necessary. Find gratification in what life has to offer and from things you can do to extract good from your life.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Proverbs21:9Participant 13]

@taxguy Thanks for the welcoming. When we started dating I was smoking weed but not as much. It was an activity that we enjoyed together. To be quite frank, I think I have undiagnosed manic-depressive disorder which would make the most sense given my overly elevated anxiety levels and depression. For some reason, every single relationship I’ve ever had (including with her) I always carry some sort of indefinable anxiety about being in said relationship. She had some bad insecurities and she would always question me if I truly loved her. I knew I did, but when she kept asking me out of the blue over and over I started to get paranoid about whether I truly did which spiraled my toking cycle further. She wanted marriage and kids a little sooner than I thought I would be financially and mentally prepared for so there was that. I also broke my scaphoid and smoked for the pain and the boredom therefore that followed since I couldn’t go to the gym anymore. I don’t really like or love myself much so that could also be it. I’m not too sure yet.

She was a unicorn in many ways but also AWALT in ways too. If introspection and God lead me to more answer I’m willing to share them, but I’m still picking up all the pieces.

@c~~~hater : Well I’m not sure whether to take your comment with a grain of salt or literally down to every word. I appreciate the feedback.

[Proverbs21:9Participant 13]

@pistolpete : I suppose you’re right about me putting her on a pedestal. It may be hard to remember for you if you haven’t been in a relationship for many years, but a heartbreak is a foggy, shaky, unstable place to be. At least for me. It’s a tough pill to swallow – all this (the relationship, how it ended, MGTOW and the true nature of women) but at least I turned to the right place? Right? I’ll give the video a watch when I’m back home on my desktop (no headphones here and at starbucks).

@Point Of No Return : What do you mean by UNC~~~? And the hiking thing is a fantastic suggestion. I live in B.C. so there’s hiking options galore here. I’m beginning to know that women’s love, beauty and loyalty for the most part are a mirage for what surfaces to be just more empty sandy desert. Thanks for the comments, brother.

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

In the video replace Henry with the woman.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

To unc~~~ is to exclude women as an influence. For example, if you are an artist, then a woman must no longer be a muse to you. If you’re a musician for example then the focus is totally on the art itself:

Unc~~~ing with Learning Music

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 1]

I always love that video stealthy.

[bladeParticipant]

Pot and pussy withdrawal is whats going on here . Your hurting wright , it’s normal . I have a fealing this mistake will be repeated with the illusion of another unicorn . Hydro pot will f~~~ you up and make you think all kinds of weird s~~~ . If you go back to pot you could end up schizophrenia . Some people are wired differently . No more pot . IT IS OVER WITH THIS CHICK . If you did get back together there will never be trust . Its broken . Your mind will clear and you will look back on this and go what the f~~~ did i get like that for . It’s just a vag .

Jan Sobieski wrote:

See a doctor. Maybe a psychological provider.

With any loss, recovery takes time.

PS. Stay away from drugs.

GOOD ADVICE . Basic and to the point .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 42]

F~~~ the REM sleep with dreams of living c~~~, smoke a fatty before you go to bed, nightmare over…

[AutoliteParticipant]

Proverbs21:9 wrote:

I’m a Christian by background and am taking my faith a lot more seriously as I feel God is trying to get through to me and teach me lessons.

So I ask you gentlemen – What more can I do to feel better/get over her? Just time? Continue to suffer until I don’t anymore? I genuinely miss intimacy and sex but I know as a MGTOW and especially as a Christian that one night stands/FWB is a tumultuous way of getting my rocks off……….I’m just simply lost. Your prayers and insights are extremely valued.

You should focus on the fact that you have no legal obligations or children with this woman. That alone should be tremendous peace of mind. If you don’t realise this now you most certainly will one day.

Reference trusting in god to help you get yourself sorted out, I would like to recommend that you hedge your bet in that respect.

From my own personal experiences and observations, your god seems to have the tendency to bail on folks just when he’s needed most. I’ve seen what happens to people who trust in a god and god does a ‘no-show’. It ain’t pretty.

But I’m just putting that out there just so that you can never say that nobody gave you a forewarning. You’ll do better by trusting in yourself my friend. Sincerely, best of luck to you…

[rebelandboltmanParticipant 640]

Welcome. It is now time for you to focus on you. You do not need a woman to make you happy or complete. The vast majority of them are Confrontational Unreasonable Narcissistic TormentorS.

If you have the willpower, which I’m sure you do, avoid her and her new resource.

Meditate once a day. Count your blessings that you are free!

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