Do MGTOW's see flaws in themselves?

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

I have flaws ….. at least 7 of them. Along with ceilings, doors and a roof ?

[The Moth Attracted to the FlameParticipant 2982]

Realistically, no one’s perfect.

[MyselfParticipant 353]

There seems to be (at least) two different types of “flaws” under discussion here – flaws that are perceived by others vs. flaws that are perceived by oneself. Or put another way – flaws that we think others notice vs flaws we only notice ourselves.

For me, it is problematic when these two types of “flaws” get jumbled up together, to the point where you don’t know which is which.  There was a time when I thought that being single was a flaw, and I had largely internalized it to the point where I felt like I had to improve myself and, like how @RuskyKGB put it, have something to offer. At one point, my accomplishments and achievements seemed to be pointless unless I was able to share them in the context of a relationship. Eventually I untangled the web and realized that there was nothing wrong with me because I was single, that there was only something “wrong” with how I was perceived.

Another example was when I was first getting my feet wet as a professional – just getting into a career.  I was extremely concerned with how I was perceived, that others saw me as competent and smart.  Again I internalized that to the point where making a mistake would feel like a kick in the stomach – I’d feel like it was a personal failing if I made any kind of error at all.  Again, eventually, I untangled the web and realized that mistakes are simply unavoidable, and that mistakes are genuine opportunities to learn and grow, and eventually I stopped caring so much about how my mistakes were perceived by others and instead focused on how I could learn from them solely for my own benefit.

So for me one of the challenges of going my own way is try and keep myself from getting stuck in that web – to make sure that I’m holding myself up to my own standards instead of the standards or others or of society.  Some might see that as a cop out but I certainly do not.  In fact, I consider my personal standards quite high – and the main benefit of trying to meet my own expectations is that I KNOW when I’ve achieved a goal, instead of always looking around in the hopes of finding validation in the words and actions of others.

 

[On the PathParticipant 28]

Introspection is the most important skill a person can have.
It enables you to learn from your mistakes and work on your flaws.

Personally, i found this site a year after a harsh breakup.
I spend that year blaming myself for the failing relationship, my flaws and what i did and didn’t do.

I think that most Mgtows have the same experience.

I arrived at the conclusion that despite my flaws, i treated my ex very well, never raised my voice, never judged.
My ex can not say the same.

One does not arrive at mgtow without introspection.
Without introspection a man would just keep making the same mistake over and over again.

[MDawgDizMizzleParticipant 73]

This. This is more or less what I was trying to say but came off ignorant. Your post was very well spoken. Nice to see others with my train of thought. Thank you for this post.

[MDawgDizMizzleParticipant 73]

This was a great f~~~ing post. I love hearing everyone’s perspective on this matter. Thanks for the read. Very realistic.

[Anonymous 42]

On the Path wrote:

Introspection is the most important skill a person can have. It enables you to learn from your mistakes and work on your flaws. Personally, i found this site a year after a harsh breakup. I spend that year blaming myself for the failing relationship, my flaws and what i did and didn’t do. I think that most Mgtows have the same experience. I arrived at the conclusion that despite my flaws, i treated my ex very well, never raised my voice, never judged. My ex can not say the same. One does not arrive at mgtow without introspection. Without introspection a man would just keep making the same mistake over and over again.

On the path is ON THE PATH! Well said, and true, every word! You’re your own best psychologist! I fixed my head, not perfect yet, but far far far far from the self destructive mode this man suppressive feminist rewarding society put me in! Introspection came after every failure, eventually I figured out it wasn’t me (when it came to women) I was expecting some kind of team effort, instead I found extreme selfishness and a total lack of concern for the logical, I no longer burn my logic for the sake of figuring out what women want, they want whatever flashy trendy thing that comes along. I found it impossible to be happy in a relationship with these narcissistic entitled LOSERS with the foresight of a cricket. Feminism has plunged this society into the chaos of emotional split second decisions and no calm and calculated approach to anything!

Society’s crumbling boys, it’s crumbling…

[Anonymous 13]

Russky wrote:

I used to be one of those guys who was so preppy and unsuccessful with girls growing up, that I looked up to the bully alpha bad boys, thinking I should be more like them, so I could get laid. This led me on the wild goose chase that took the most of my adolescent life. I became one of those tattooed drug dealer street racing bad boy types before I settled and had a family. It never really worked because underneath I have always remained the same, and this mismatch created cognitive dissonance in females so most of them avoided me anyways

I can relate to this, never dealt drugs, would go along with some friends that did – but the beginning of what you said and your conclusion is similar to my story – but it isn’t over yet, its only beginning.

 

Russky wrote:

does one have a right to expect much from a woman when he doesn’t have much to offer himself

No.  Most women are skin deep, what I have to offer is good enough – skin deep.

If “nawalt” then yes, I have some other “life skills” that are a bit more than mediocre, the ability to be self sufficient and provide – ambitious.  What’s a good personality – especially one on one?  It all depends on what kind of personality they like – a deeper one than skin.
This matching system has to be as “evenly yolked” as possible.  (to quote the Bible)  And psychologists would agree.

The problem is, there is more good men than there is good women, agree?

 

@Tower, loved what you wrote – digitized golden little bits of data masterfully orchestrated to convey a message of total f~~~ing supremacy over any  opposition in typed communicea –

[Just a ManParticipant 934]

Is it me or do some of these new people flap their gums an awful lot, right off the bat? Seriously. As a man, how many of us, being a new person ANYWHERE, comes right in and blathers? Every time I see this I get red flags, because in my more than four decades of experience I have never seen a man do this unless it was a speech or something of that nature. Just me observing.

Philosophy, the female repellent

[Anonymous 42]

Just a Man wrote:

Is it me or do some of these new people flap their gums an awful lot, right off the bat? Seriously. As a man, how many of us, being a new person ANYWHERE, comes right in and blathers? Every time I see this I get red flags, because in my more than four decades of experience I have never seen a man do this unless it was a speech or something of that nature. Just me observing.

I don’t know Matoomba, anywhere else I’s say yes, but here it’s like a man spending years in the desert seeking water, even muddy salty water! When a man arrives here he’s bathed in acceptance by other weary travelers. I see it too, but I interpret it differently, it’s like their parched and communication is the refreshing Cantina they only imagined about, I know I was like that, I even cut Keymaster short on his replies a couple of times. I think it’s normal, but only here.

[aeragoanParticipant 1186]

Ever men has flaws…and he worked very hard to overcome from them…but women blame society n especially men for all their flaws..

[Author]

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