Dealing With Crazy..Advice Please..

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

Hitman;

My $0.02. I understand the need to maintain distance/proximity to your child by remaining in the matrimonial home. But I want you to consider the following:

Ease of access to your kid versus:

1.) Market switching to a buyers market if real-estate crashes.
2.) Not having the divorce settled, having an unforeseen job loss and not having the means to fight.
3.) Lawyer’s fee’s increase year by year. Every extra hour of time spend on the divorce and asset division is extra money out of your pocket.
4.) Impact to your physical/psychological health the longer this plays out.
5.) Time delayed moving on with your life. Time is priceless.

I can empathize where you are coming from. This is not pity but admiration. I don’t know if I would fare as well given similar circumstances.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

[HitmanParticipant]

thanks again men.
we live separetly..
she moved out.
lives close,
i see the kid 4 days a week..
( i work the other 3 ).
..
she bought a new car, so she owes me half the price of it.
.
if i push for the money, it will lead to the next step of the divorce,
forcing the house to sell.
if i can’t afford to buy it, i lose it.
.
my half of the mortgage is about 500 dollars LESS than any room for rent..
so it would be foolish to lose a house,
and then pay more to rent somewhere..
.
this is complicated,
but it’s what i have on my plate.
…
no way in the world would i live with her or any woman again.
.
she is the primary parent on paper..
in reality i am the one who is there for the kid like clockwork.
.
custody is almost immpossible..
so, it is what it is..

[Chaff/FlareParticipant 3235]

So, thinking through this.

If you pull equity from house, get money from car, finalize divorce, how long could you live in a house while bleeding 500/ month?

When you find yourself in the majority, it's time to reflect.

[HitmanParticipant]

My best case scenario is that the house can be refinanced and remortgage it in my Name. .
The longer I wait the more profit I will make from the sale. .
Downside is that the longer I wait, the more it will cost me to take over the mortgage. .
Double edged sword. .

[TiredofbsParticipant 485]

Hitman, I feel for ya brother. I’ve read the entire string of posts on here and a ton of good advice. But like you said, you’re dealing with a “double edged sword.” When a child is involved, and kudos to you for caring about your children in spite of their mother, it messes with our head and makes the simplest things seem very complicated. And I completely understand the financial situation you find yourself in. Everyone’s situation has it’s own set of complications. Sounds like you are keeping your mind intact through all of this frustration. That’s a good thing. No magic words of advice here. In my opinion, for whatever it’s worth, I think you are doing the best you can and not making rash decisions that will ruin your life. Keep the faith and I hope and pray things work out for you in the future. Most of us have been in similar situations and it’s hell to deal with. Persevere my friend.

[Author]

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