Yep, I was stupid enough to fall for that one too! At the behest of my crazy ex, I booked us on the Carnival Dream because it was a brand new ship. Got a cabin with a private balcony which turned out to have no sun because of the shade from the lifeboats suspended overhead. I tried to make the best of it, but the bitch wasn’t having any of it.
Our cabin was adjacent to a huge loading hatch where all the dry goods and supplies were loaded onto the ship. It got rough a couple of times at sea and the hull of the ship was torquing and twisting so badly that those giant steel doors were creaking and groaning all night long. Mark my words…. when that ship breaks up and goes down, it will be because the hull fractured right there thru the structural weak point that was introduced into the design by those large external hatches.
Being at sea wasn’t so bad, but the on-shore activities were ridiculously expensive. Where ever we dropped anchor in port, there were 5 or more other cruise ships all pulling in at the same time. So if you do the math, that’s 5 ships multiplied by 5,000 asshole tourists on each ship, all descending on the the little village in Belize at the same time. Imagine trying to have a relaxing time with 25,000 liberal jack offs from New Jersey and New York running amok competing for the limited available resources.
Oh, an don’t forget the dreaded Ledo deck. This is where all the parents dumped their kids unsupervised at the pool which was surrounded by 4 giant jumbo tron screens with non-stop music and movies blaring continuously. If I could have gotten my hands on a heavy crew served automatic weapon, I would have turned all those screaming little bastards into shark chum.
That cruise was exactly the type of experience I feared it was going to be. Plus after I had spent all those thousands of dollars, during the long 15 hour drive home, at night, in the freezing cold, it was then that the wife chose to tell me the cruise had left her feeling “hollow inside”.
Listen guys. An open ocean cruise can be one of the most beautiful and cathartic experiences anyone can have. But you’re not going to find it on a cruise ship. I strongly recommend taking a basic sailing class and then simply renting a 30 foot sailboat and just single handed cruise the Abacos Islands in the Bahamas.
It will cost a lot less money and you will have a far more enjoyable time. You can cruise at your own pace anywhere you want to go. Pull into a small harbor, go ashore drink and dance at night. F~~~ young German girls and never see them again. Weigh anchor in the morning, sail to the next island and then boink a couple Dutch girls. You can repeat the process as many times as you care to.
Or simply sail to a lagoon, read a book and later barter beer and cigarettes with the local fisherman for fresh seafood. You paddle your dingy to shore, start a fire on the beach, grill up your fresh caught Grouper and have a feast. Drink rum, be mellow, and fall asleep on the sand with a full moon and gently swaying palm trees overhead.
This is why I bought my own sailboat last year. Another couple of years working to save money and practice sailing on the Chesapeake and then I will retire. The dog and I will be headed South to the Florida Keys first. After that maybe the Caribbean, Bahamas, maybe Central America. Basically any where I f~~~ing feel like going. And I will be happy and content, because I won’t have 25,000 tourist c~~~s with their manginas to compete with on shore, or one stupid and bitchy wife in my bunk at night ruining the whole experience for me.
I’ve never heard anyone who enjoyed a Carnival cruise, for all the reasons you explained. Try Holland America or Celebrity next time
Rolling Tin Fist 2 years, 10 months ago.
