been on Disney cruise with c~~~ and 2 kids.
#1 problem excursions…going to the desk to get excursions is a pita
#2 daycare…on a strict schedule, no exceptions who knew there were 1000 children on a f~~~ing Disney cruise?
#3 the fight…we were at an aquarium on some island. Daughter was on one side of a table and c~~~ couldn’t see her. had a major panic attack, yet I am standing 2 feet away, child in easy plain view. c~~~ beat the s~~~ out of me because it was my job to watch the children. One in the stroller, check, I have a hand on the stroller. Other child in easy view. check, 2 kids in sight, yet it is my fault the c~~~ couldn’t see older daughter. Got thrashed there in the aquarium for a good 20 minutes, Then I put older daughter on my shoulders for the rest of the 3 hour Bataan death march through this aquarium. F~~~ she was p~~~ed and I was sore. Wrecked the entire trip. Everywhere we went turned into where’s the kid. Constant s~~~ test.
#4 pushing a stroller through the sand on the beach. C~~~ insisted on loading up the stroller with towels, toys, sand mats vid camera, back pack with lunch, a blanket, big bottles of sunscreen, 6 liters of water, on and on and on. all to go to the beach. F~~~, I just carried the entire thing because duh thin stroller wheels don’t work on sand…my fault again. So, shoulders hurt from the disaster the day before, threw out the back at the beach.
#5 pain. I slept on the floor sea sick for 3 nights in the hallway next to the bathroom. Vibrating floor, party downstairs all night, seasick, in major pain.
#6 signature book mayhem…gotta get the characters to sigh the $20 book. up until midnight chasing some college kid intern around the boat at midnight. yeah some fun there.
#7 Food. All the f~~~ing food you could eat. moar cinnamon rolls, free soda and icecream refills. So many landwhales it was suicidal to go eat. I lived very well on dropped food.
#8 pools, slides, shows, giftshop and anything fun on the boat was jammed with bodies and unavailable. Mostly I was walking the decks with the kids while the c~~~ went to the spa for cucumber facials and nail treatments.
#9 Rain. Who knew it rained in the tropics? bitch blamed me for whatever went wrong at home, why would the Caribbean be any different. Rain, the skiff we took from the cruise to the port was cramped and smelly, my fault, the excursion thing was not next to the dock so we piled into a s~~~ty diesel van, my fault again, and the guide at the excursion spoke terrible English, my fault again. going back to the ship was a reverse of the way we got there, rain, smelly cramped taxi, s~~~ty skiff, all my fault.
#10 C~~~ refused to leave the stateroom at the appointed time to leave the boat. She didn’t want to put her luggage out the night before so we carried all our s~~~ through the line. we were maybe within the last 100 to leave the ship. We were the only ones who carried luggage, had to take it all apart for inspection, pull it all apart, then stuff it all together to leave. Again all my f~~~ing fault. Put the luggage out the night before, it was randomly xrayed and sent along in seconds. All my fault.
So, I was hurt, seasick, bitched out at least 4 times, c~~~ signed all the travelers checks within the port, one kid lost her shoes, my camera broke, broiled in the sun for an hour during boat drill in port and got heat issues, food was sickeningly sweet and over plentiful, not much sleep chasing peter pan through 5 decks, didn’t even get as much as a quicky handy in bed. She f~~~ed up the travelers checks, the daycare arrangements, the excursions, bitched about the rain, the third world transportation system, the aquarium debacle, she lost $2000 in a casino in 12 seconds, bitched about everything blamed me for all the s~~~, bought a huge pile of s~~~ in the giftshop, and cursed me out a couple times a day for s~~~ beyond my control.
But wait there’s more…it was a Disney two fer…1 week cruise and 1 week in the resort. Oh f~~~ is right. Lines, bought more s~~~, lots of people, older daughter didn’t want to go in the park at all, broken stroller, stolen rental car, found rental car in the next row. all my fault again when she drove the f~~~er and I was sleeping. Broken vid camera, two stuck rides in the park, child stung by a bee, then fell onto a fire ant nest, driving 3 hours to Tampa to get a free replacement vid camera, air flight delayed, c~~~ got into a shoving match with another c~~~ in the airport, all my fault of course. Best part was I got to sit in a separate row going home.Came home to a snowstorm and we were all dressed in shorts, c~~~ lost the luggage keys so we drove through Chicago traffic, a f~~~ing blizzard in shorts to get home to no power, no heat, the driveway had a food of snow…all my fault.
We drove another hour out the hinterlands to find a motel with power. Not good enough for my special snowflake. She wanted the one at the next exit with the free breakfast. we checked out went to the free breakfast place, full up, went back to the last place, room was given to someone else. Drove another hour to another place. We ended up out beyond where Jesus left his sandals and far past where I stopped caring.
Rolling Tin Fist 2 years, 11 months ago.
