A question of my manhood

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

Hello gents,

I have no doubt that everyone here would call a “white knight” any man who risked himself for some woman whom he doesn’t know. But recently I encountered a situation that, I feel, tested my manhood, and I believe I failed, since it involved the protection of my own home.

I was coming back to my college dorm building after dinner. In the vestibule were loitering two people (students likely), a girl and a guy. They tried to follow me in, but I tried to shut the door on them, telling them that if they didn’t have a key, and I didn’t know them, I couldn’t let them in.

I say I “tried,” because at this point the guy grabbed the door from the other end and yanked it open, overpowering me, forcing his way in (the girl tried to talk him down, but was unsuccessful). I told him that he was breaking and entering, and that I was going to call campus security; he told me to do it. I didn’t have my phone on me, so I grabbed the phone that’s in the vestibule. I heard a dial tone, but I didn’t know security’s number, and I didn’t see any placards or anything, so, at that point, at a loss, I just booked it, booked it to the room of one of the people in charge of maintaining order in the dorm, and let her know.

I’m aware that he was probably just a drunk student, but I bring this up, only because I can’t think of a time in my life where I felt so unbelievably weak, emasculated, and even cowardly. He was a foot taller than me, and though not muscular, virtually every guy is stronger than I am.

Afterward, I was thinking perhaps the right thing to do would have been to start a scene on the spot (yell out for help and awaken the whole building; crooks hate a scene) or at least have called 911 proper on that phone (which I’m sure would have worked), but I hadn’t because I was too frazzled and had just wanted to get out of there. I went back and saw that, yes, the number to security was there, but it was placarded eight feet above the floor, not at eye level.

I’m just looking for some people to bounce some ideas off of. What is the lesson to take away from this situation to make me a better man?

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[anonymousyamParticipant 4605]

Dude this seems more of a pussy thing then a white knight event. Also don’t make empty threats if you don’t know the campus security number then don’t threaten someone with it.

Just an east coast asshole who likes to curse, If you get offended by words like fuck, cunt, shit, piss, bitch or any racial slurs then you just scroll down.

[Anonymous 11]

OP, I’m glad you were able to escape him w/o serious repercussions. White Knights can be very dangerous. Good story…

She had to be controlling him. One wonders exactly how?

Manhood is doing what is right.

[Spank The MisandristsParticipant 2308]

Say you fought the guy and ended up injuring yourself badly, does that make you a better man? No, you did what you had to do at that particular moment and also you didn’t just let them in, you tried to stop them from entering even though you failed. Most men out there wouldn’t even have the b~~~~ to do what you did, so don’t feel bad and stop beating yourself up.

The lesson to take away from this is to start lifting, not for the purpose of beating people who are weaker than you, but to better defend yourself next time you find yourself in similar situations.

Btw. forgot to say that don’t do it for the woman, but for yourself.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

Spank The Misandrists wrote:

Say you fought the guy and ended up injuring yourself badly

Oh no you misunderstand. I wasn’t considering fighting the guy, and if I were to do it again I wouldn’t fight the guy. I was just thinking there was more I could have done something more immediate instead of booking it and telling someone in secret, in the meantime letting that guy into my build (e.g., if I didn’t know campus security number, call 911 proper instead; what phone won’t connect to 911 if you punch it direct into it?).

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[Anonymous 1]

It is called a learning experience. There will always be someone Stronger Faster than you. You must prepare. Learn those things that would give you the advantage. You will never forget the number again. Do not let One failure define you. Rise above it. Failures are the most important lessons.

[Spank The MisandristsParticipant 2308]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

Oh no you misunderstand. I wasn’t considering fighting the guy, and if I were to do it again I wouldn’t fight the guy.

But he was definitely considering doing that to you the next day, if you did call 911.

I guess save the campus security number in your phone would be a good place to start then.

I am just curious, if the girl weren’t there, would you still do the same thing? If yes, cool, if no, bro, I will send you some heavy duty red pills.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

Spank The Misandrists wrote:

I am just curious, if the girl weren’t there, would you still do the same thing?

Oh yes, don’t misunderstand. I never let any loiterers in, never have in the past (at least not in my current building), and I don’t plan to.

Anonymous wrote:

It is called a learning experience. There will always be someone Stronger Faster than you. You must prepare. Learn those things that would give you the advantage. You will never forget the number again. Do not let One failure define you. Rise above it. Failures are the most important lessons.

Yes, I have campus security’s number in my phone, and I know where the number is placarded in case I have to use the vestibule phone.

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[Spank The MisandristsParticipant 2308]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

Oh yes, don’t misunderstand. I never let any loiterers in, never have in the past (at least not in my current building), and I don’t plan to.

I am glad to hear that bro! Stop beating yourself up, grab a beer, it’s weekend.

[experiencedParticipant]

I think you handled it fine, but for a learning experience let’s break it down:

Rockmaninoff wrote:

Hello gents,

I have no doubt that everyone here would call a “white knight” any man who risked himself for some woman whom he doesn’t know. But recently I encountered a situation that, I feel, tested my manhood, and I believe I failed, since it involved the protection of my own home.
[[[[hindsight’s 20/20 you did what you thought would work and it didn’t so now you’ll do it differently]]

I was coming back to my college dorm building after dinner. In the vestibule were loitering two people (students likely), a girl and a guy.
[[[[ok they are loitering. why? are they waiting for you to let them in? if you aren’t going to, then go back and have some more dinner. or go over exactly how you’ll handle the current situation, ahead of time in detail. greater detail for greater threat.]]

They tried to follow me in,
[[[[were they loitering close to the door]]
but I tried to shut the door on them, telling them that if they didn’t have a key, and I didn’t know them, I couldn’t let them in.

I say I “tried,” because at this point the guy grabbed the door from the other end and yanked it open, overpowering me, forcing his way in (the girl tried to talk him down, but was unsuccessful). I told him that he was breaking and entering, and that I was going to call campus security; he told me to do it. I didn’t have my phone on me, so I grabbed the phone that’s in the vestibule. I heard a dial tone, but I didn’t know security’s number, and I didn’t see any placards or anything, so, at that point, at a loss, I just booked it, booked it to the room of one of the people in charge of maintaining order in the dorm, and let her know.
[[[[the other guys bigger – -you could be 275 and he could be “The Undertaker”
you could be The Undertaker and he could be Aleksandr Karelin etc.]]]
I’m aware that he was probably just a drunk student, but I bring this up, only because I can’t think of a time in my life where I felt so unbelievably weak, emasculated, and even cowardly. He was a foot taller than me, and though not muscular, virtually every guy is stronger than I am.
[[[[[quit worrying about it, next time it’ll be a different situation elsewhere. just think it thoroughly through ahead of time.]] [[“nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”]]

Afterward, I was thinking perhaps the right thing to do would have been to start a scene on the spot (yell out for help and awaken the whole building; crooks hate a scene) or at least have called 911 proper on that phone (which I’m sure would have worked), but I hadn’t because I was too frazzled and had just wanted to get out of there. I went back and saw that, yes, the number to security was there, but it was placarded eight feet above the floor, not at eye level.
[[[ok maybe get to nearest phone and call police]]]

I’m just looking for some people to bounce some ideas off of. What is the lesson to take away from this situation to make me a better man?

lesson=think it all through ahead of time.
Being physically overpowering puts the kibosh on most bs ahead of time, but Even Then you could kill someone with a well placed punch or throw, and the whole headache just escalates afterward.

learn, but don’t beat yourself up.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

Always have your phone on you

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

I felt so unbelievably weak, emasculated, and even cowardly

Why? This is not your character flaw. Be careful about what you’re hard on yourself for. Berate yourself for the RIGHT reasons instead.

When someone is an asshole, not out-assholing them is not “your weakness”. (The word “emasculated” shouldn’t even be in your vocabulary. I say that as a friend.)

FACT: You can say anything you want to anyone you want – and get away with it – if you say it with enough authority.

The intimidator rarely expects this, in the same way that you wouldn’t expect to intimidated by a chihuahua. But if the chihuahua growls in the right way, and shows that it could get rabid when provoked, even Arnold Shwarzennegger would back away from it.

You can really surprise yourself with this(!), and all that’s required is change in attitude. When someone tries to intimidate you, or belittle you, you can stun them with a question “why are you behaving like that?”

Check this out. In this video Tom Cruise is answering a question, and the asker squirts him with water thinking it’s funny. He’s trying to make Cruise feel “weak”, “emasculated”, and being the same kind of asshole you’re talking about.

—

Cruise holds up a mirror to him and asks “why would you do that?”, like 5 times. Pointing out this kind of behavior is rude totally unacceptable, and intimidates him back. He could walk away (and is encouraged to), but he doesn’t. He holds him there and FORCES him to answer the question – which he can’t.

When someone tries to make you feel like a weak piece of s~~~, its because they think you won’t – or can’t – do anything. Tom Cruise is a small guy too. But intimidators are never counting on someone to bark louder. Use that to your advantage.

There are a number of ways to handle your situation – and win! – without force. The only reason you didn’t beat this guy, is because your self-esteem is already in the s~~~ter. He made you feel “weak”, and it worked. But what if it didn’t?

Have you ever read “The Art of War?”

Classic book. It about a great Chinese warrior who came up with various formulas and rules for beating his opponents while minimizing his losses. He reduced it down to such a science, that he could conquer and win – without fighting! That book has come in handy, and even translates to petty conflicts and confrontations in the workplace, in social situations, and everyday life.

Eventually, you will have ENOUGH of allowing yourself to be intimidated, and you will surprise yourself at how easy it really is to disarm your opponent. They already think you can’t – or won’t. And that in itself is an advantage.

Your “manhood” is not a question.
It’s a statement. Make the statement.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 24]

Hey Rock, let me tell you, as a smaller guy who at one time was extremely athletic and abnormally strong for my size, and having trained in fight sports since a young age, I got into a lot of fights. This was because of situations you just described. Bigger/Stronger men will often bully and just outright overpower you at times because they do not see you as a threat. As a young man I never stood for it, and even though I have never fought a person who was my size or smaller because I was not a bully, I did get into about 15 or so full on fights, and never lost 1v1. Even having been this type of guy, with age I realized it was not a great idea. The situation did not seem urgent or imminently threating, I would advise calm, retreat to your room, and call security just to report the situation. Trust me, they want to know things like this and will make a record of it if they are properly trained. Beyond that, confrontation is not necessary, not even to the level you took it. It is almost always more wise to not escalate the situation and retreat.

Don’t let this incident bother you at all. Have a good night, and I look forward to more music from you.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

And here’s Keymaster, once more dropping so much wisdom in such a clear, incisive manner. Thanks man, I appreciate it.

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[InfernalShadowParticipant 377]

I’m a smaller guy as well so I can relate to the whole “feeling emasculated” bit. Especially if they’re white knights. I used to role play in groups such as NERO which is a LARP setting. One guy in particular didn’t like me very well, so he ended up shield bashing me every chance he got.

And while shield bashing was legal, he ended up going out of his way every single time in an attempt to shield bash me. It was more or less like getting tackled in a football game. I just took it as a great learning experience.

The lesson a took from that, is to learn your strengths and improve on them instead. For me, one of my biggest strengths was speed. When he started tried to shield bash me, I just learned to step to the other side faster than he could run towards me and strike him in the back with one of my foam weapons.

If I were in your situation and didn’t have any help to back me up, I would’ve just let him in and report him to the nearest authority on campus. That way, you’re essentially “dodging” his shield bash without getting into the middle of it.

[Anonymous 24]

Funny, and great analogy Infernal. Thanks for posting it.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

When I was in school and we had to get someone inside our dorm – we would go on the second floor, take the fire hose out of the emergency fire hose break the glass thingie – unravel it and stick one end out of the balcony. The person who we were trying to get in – would catch the hose outside, tie it around him/herself, and we would drag him/her in over the balcony

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

Your manhood, our manhood is beyond question.

We are adult males.Men.

Because we were born with and always will be XY .

All that “you are not a man” or a real man stuff is bulls~~~

That’s female style thinking.

.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[KeymasterKeymaster]

MgtowWave wrote:

All that “you are not a man” or a real man stuff is bulls~~~

Exactly.

It’s “Rock-man-in-off”

…. not Rock-man-enough?

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

Thanks, guys. This community is truly amazing, always helpful, supportive, but never patronizing or shallow.

Well, it’s Saturday night. I’m going to have a white russian, and watch Daniel Barenboim play Beethoven. It’s going to be f~~~ing fantastic.

Russky wrote:

When I was in school and we had to get someone inside our dorm – we would go on the second floor, take the fire hose out of the emergency fire hose break the glass thingie – unravel it and stick one end out of the balcony. The person who we were trying to get in – would catch the hose outside, tie it around him/herself, and we would drag him/her in over the balcony

I do believe this is the most Russian thing anyone has ever said to me.

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[Author]

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