A Letter To The Ex

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

I’m terribly vexed, so I am writing this letter to you, my ex

When we met, my heart was a smile
Now we have been apart for a while
I realise I was in denial

The shouting was frequent
You were always spouting tears like a crocodile
C~~~!

The in-laws were laws unto themselves
You got out your claws when I couldn’t put up the shelves

Nothing was ever good enough
To pacify, I bought you expensive stuff
When you were on your monthly cry
I even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

Pushing a three-wheeled trolley
Whilst listening to your folly
On the phone
Sex once a week
I was like a dog to a bone

Mow the lawn
Holding your head
When the spawn was born

Mending that fuse
AND putting up the picture
Whilst you stood there saying
“Your a useless loser”
Was a daily fixture

Stayed at home looking after the kid
Whilst you sat about
Like a fat invalid

Another weekend out with the girls
A dress to reveal that tattooed mess
And your hair in curls

Back at 4
With a torn dress
And sick on the floor
F~~~ING WHORE

Next day
We sat down
You said
“I don’t love you anymore”
“I met up with an old friend in town”

I had no pride
And cried and cried

“What about the vows when you were a bride”
To stand side by side
Through thick and thin

You just smirked wide and said
“I’m in love with him”

C~~~!

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

I even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

All women’s muff DNA should be on record with the city, so when the Gash flushes her tampon and it clogs the pipes, causing a $5000 repair, we know who the HOA should send the bill to. So tired of this s~~~. I can’t even take a shower right now because C~~~ down the hall has the pipes totally clogged with menstrual bandaids, the tubs wont drain in the building.

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

Stayed at home looking after the kid
Whilst you sat about
Like a fat invalid

Like a wonderful Haiku! Good job Colin

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Gravel Pit wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

I even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

All women’s muff DNA should be on record with the city, so when the Gash flushes her tampon and it clogs the pipes, causing a $5000 repair, we know who the HOA should send the bill to. So tired of this s~~~. I can’t even take a shower right now because C~~~ down the hall has the pipes totally clogged with menstrual bandaids, the tubs wont drain in the building.

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

Stayed at home looking after the kidWhilst you sat aboutLike a fat invalid

Like a wonderful Haiku! Good job Colin

Cheers cowboy. This f~~~er came to me this afternoon. Plenty more in this rats maze.
Testosterone is a wicked thing eh. Without it, we wouldn’t touch them a s~~~ty stick.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

Nothing was ever good enough
To pacify, I bought you expensive stuff
When you were on your monthly cry
I even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

My favorite stanza.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Ranger One wrote:

Nothing was ever good enoughTo pacify, I bought you expensive stuffWhen you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

My favorite stanza.

I will even let you quote that, as long as you start putting a U in favourite……and colour LMAO!

[HermitParticipant]

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

Ranger One wrote:

Nothing was ever good enoughTo pacify, I bought you expensive stuffWhen you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

My favorite stanza.

I will even let you quote that, as long as you start putting a U in favourite……and colour LMAO!

I’ll do that if you call it “aluminum” instead of “aluminium”.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

I

Ranger One wrote:

Nothing was ever good enoughTo pacify, I bought you expensive stuffWhen you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

My favorite stanza.

I probably should of used “Sought” instead of “buyed”. Buyed not really a word, but kind of rhythmed with “cry” and “pacify”. “sought” rhythms with “bought”

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Hermit wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

Ranger One wrote:

Nothing was ever good enoughTo pacify, I bought you expensive stuffWhen you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

My favorite stanza.

I will even let you quote that, as long as you start putting a U in favourite……and colour LMAO!

I’ll do that if you call it “aluminum” instead of “aluminium”.

Who said you could barge in eh!
Okay, start pronouncing apparatus properly. It’s not, “Appa ratus” It is, “Appa ray tus”
Thanks Goon.

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Ha ha! A Goose Dwayne Johnson.

[HermitParticipant]

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

Hermit wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

Ranger One wrote:

Nothing was ever good enoughTo pacify, I bought you expensive stuffWhen you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

My favorite stanza.

I will even let you quote that, as long as you start putting a U in favourite……and colour LMAO!

I’ll do that if you call it “aluminum” instead of “aluminium”.

Who said you could barge in eh!Okay, start pronouncing apparatus properly. It’s not, “Appa ratus” It is, “Appa ray tus”Thanks Goon.

Not a problem. I like practicing an English accent.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[AwakenedParticipant 35203]

They are either cheating Ho’s, 300 lb. whales or frigid sexless ice queens….or some variation/combination.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[BubParticipant 1410]

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

When you were on your monthly cry
I even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

I’m not a fan of the poetry but,
this is fantastic…

Just rolling down the road

[UntamedParticipant]

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

I’m terribly vexed, so I am writing this letter to you, my ex
When we met, my heart was a smileNow we have been apart for a whileI realise I was in denial
The shouting was frequentYou were always spouting tears like a crocodileC~~~!
The in-laws were laws unto themselvesYou got out your claws when I couldn’t put up the shelves
Nothing was ever good enoughTo pacify, I bought you expensive stuffWhen you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muff
Pushing a three-wheeled trolleyWhilst listening to your follyOn the phoneSex once a weekI was like a dog to a bone
Mow the lawnHolding your headWhen the spawn was born
Mending that fuseAND putting up the pictureWhilst you stood there saying“Your a useless loser”Was a daily fixture
Stayed at home looking after the kidWhilst you sat aboutLike a fat invalid
Another weekend out with the girlsA dress to reveal that tattooed messAnd your hair in curls
Back at 4With a torn dressAnd sick on the floorF~~~ING WHORE
Next dayWe sat downYou said“I don’t love you anymore”“I met up with an old friend in town”
I had no prideAnd cried and cried
“What about the vows when you were a bride”To stand side by sideThrough thick and thin
You just smirked wide and said“I’m in love with him”
C~~~!

Beautiful.
One of the best poems I read in years.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Bub wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

When you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

I’m not a fan of the poetry but,this is fantastic…

Cheers Mr Bub.

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Untamed wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

I’m terribly vexed, so I am writing this letter to you, my exWhen we met, my heart was a smileNow we have been apart for a whileI realise I was in denialThe shouting was frequentYou were always spouting tears like a crocodileC~~~!The in-laws were laws unto themselvesYou got out your claws when I couldn’t put up the shelvesNothing was ever good enoughTo pacify, I bought you expensive stuffWhen you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muffPushing a three-wheeled trolleyWhilst listening to your follyOn the phoneSex once a weekI was like a dog to a boneMow the lawnHolding your headWhen the spawn was bornMending that fuseAND putting up the pictureWhilst you stood there saying“Your a useless loser”Was a daily fixtureStayed at home looking after the kidWhilst you sat aboutLike a fat invalidAnother weekend out with the girlsA dress to reveal that tattooed messAnd your hair in curlsBack at 4With a torn dressAnd sick on the floorF~~~ING WHORENext dayWe sat downYou said“I don’t love you anymore”“I met up with an old friend in town”I had no prideAnd cried and cried“What about the vows when you were a bride”To stand side by sideThrough thick and thinYou just smirked wide and said“I’m in love with him”C~~~!

Beautiful.One of the best poems I read in years.

Cheers Mr Untame. Check out my others. Particular favourites of mine are:”I was a twit in my Fathers nutsack”, “Strap-on John”, and “Repent You Goon”

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Awakened wrote:

They are either cheating Ho’s, 300 lb. whales or frigid sexless ice queens….or some variation/combination.

A Water-vole Rosie O’Donnell.

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Hermit wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

Hermit wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

Ranger One wrote:

Nothing was ever good enoughTo pacify, I bought you expensive stuffWhen you were on your monthly cryI even buyed tampons to stick up your muff

My favorite stanza.

I will even let you quote that, as long as you start putting a U in favourite……and colour LMAO!

I’ll do that if you call it “aluminum” instead of “aluminium”.

Who said you could barge in eh!Okay, start pronouncing apparatus properly. It’s not, “Appa ratus” It is, “Appa ray tus”Thanks Goon.

Not a problem. I like practicing an English accent.

When you have polished the accent, give me a call. What is your number?

[HermitParticipant]

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

When you have polished the accent, give me a call. What is your number?

I’ve already given you my number: 555-fuc-kyou Give me your number.

Sometimes, when I’m over at a friends house and he’s having a party with people I’ve never met, I slightly break out the English accent. The last time this happened, the guy asked me where I was from. It made it even funnier when I said, “Podunk, KS”.

When my English friend was visiting over here some guy heard his accent and asked if we were from Australia. Does the guy not even watch movies or TV? There are very few similarities between the two accents if any.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Colin Combover in a ComaParticipant 5068]

Hermit wrote:

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

When you have polished the accent, give me a call. What is your number?

I’ve already given you my number: 555-fuc-kyou Give me your number.
Sometimes, when I’m over at a friends house and he’s having a party with people I’ve never met, I slightly break out the English accent. The last time this happened, the guy asked me where I was from. It made it even funnier when I said, “Podunk, KS”.
When my English friend was visiting over here some guy heard his accent and asked if we were from Australia. Does the guy not even watch movies or TV? There are very few similarities between the two accents if any.

I would gladly give you my number in a private message.
Very clever use of the word “Podunk”
I don’t know if you get many British programmes over there, but I am sick to the back teeth of seeing them bastard “Housewives of Orange County, “Housewives of Atlanta” etc etc etc
F~~~ing land of the freaks with the Kardashians, here comes Honey Boo Boo, Will and grace etc etc bastard etc
We have enough butter-b~~~~ over here. We don’t want transatlantic misfits as well.

[HermitParticipant]

Colin Combover in a Coma wrote:

I would gladly give you my number in a private message.Very clever use of the word “Podunk”I don’t know if you get many British programmes over there, but I am sick to the back teeth of seeing them bastard “Housewives of Orange County, “Housewives of Atlanta” etc etc etc F~~~ing land of the freaks with the Kardashians, here comes Honey Boo Boo, Will and grace etc etc bastard etcWe have enough butter-b~~~~ over here. We don’t want transatlantic misfits as well.

……and I would call you, but then you’d be able to track me down as you would then have my number, as I’m assuming even you have caller ID.

Well, I actually told him where I was from. I replaced the name of the town with Podunk to keep you off track.

We get a few of your shows on BBC America and on public broadcast channels, (PBS). I watch one or two sometimes.

Why do you watch those idiotic shows? Just the titles alone are enough to keep me from even trying to watch them once. What kind of person in their right mind, (oh, never mind), would purposely watch something called honey boo boo?

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Author]

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