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Topic: Must read this guy's story.
I don’t know if this is true or not, but, it’s worth a look at how a man can be broken down by today’s divorce laws. Maybe it should be made into a sticky so the thread doesn’t get lost. Many here may have gone through some of what this guy experienced, but, I think being away from your family to fight in a foreign land and having to go through this has got to be gut wrenching.
http://black.blue/Story%28page1%29.php
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First, you can read about my background.
The Family Court system in the United States is broken.
More than just being in disrepair, it’s dangerous. It ruins lives. It destroys families. It tears children from loving men who are perfectly fit to be fathers. It rewards dishonesty. It promotes hostility.
Under the idea that litigation is the best way to solve family disputes, the Family Court system only escalates problems, with no safety valve. Lawyers dump fuel on the fires because they have no incentive to settle.
Family Court is a meat grinder that cares nothing for the truth or children. Through kickbacks, Family Courts have financial incentives to order lopsided custody so they can order fathers to pay huge support payments which are matched by the federal government. Unlike fathers’ child visitation orders (which go unenforced), judges and lawyers – and ultimately men with guns – enforce payments to mothers.
When I got divorced, I was ordered to abandon my children and pay my ex-wife more than 100% of my after-tax salary. Although my ex-wife and I each earned 1.6 million dollars during our 12-year marriage, I was ordered to finance her retirement at the expense of my own. We weren’t even 46 years old yet. Why should divorce be profitable for anyone? Why should any parent get rich simply by raising their own children?
When the US Housing Bubble burst in 2008, my ex-wife and I were dangerously overextended. Our entire net worth was wrapped-up in real estate that we couldn’t sell. We quickly lost everything. To keep food on the table and a roof over my family’s head, I volunteered to go to war. From 2009 to 2013, I worked in Iraq and Afghanistan, as a civilian defense contractor, where I earned more than three times my base salary. But it came at a steep price. I left just three days after my second daughter was born. The first time I heard her cry was over a satellite phone at an Iraqi base the Marines called Dreamland (video). I missed it all: her first words and first steps. By 2010, my ex-wife left Hawaii with my girls. It had been my home for 20 years, and the dream was finally over.
Several long years later, at my divorce, the support I was ordered to pay my ex-wife was based on my wartime income. The judge didn’t care that the war in Iraq was over, and the war in Afghanistan was ending. He didn’t care that, in Afghanistan, I worked 84 hours a week, in hardship and hazardous conditions. I slept in a bunkbed in a tent, and shared a shower in a filthy bathroom with a hundred other men. The internet there wasn’t fast enough to Skype my daughters. I missed birthdays. I missed Christmases. The judge didn’t care that I was weary of years in war and weary of living without my kids. I wanted to return to the USA to be with my children, my friends, and my family.
After the divorce, I filed a motion to have my payments reduced. When I explained to the judge the payments were unreasonable and impossible – using tax returns and salary surveys to prove my earning potential – his reply was “Pay what’s ordered or go to jail.” His exact words. Apparently, subjecting me to rape and violence in jail, purely for financial motives, is how Family Court works. With the court’s help, my children’s mother wants to put their father in a cage simply because she wants more money.
The support guidelines in a divorce are clear: find the “high water mark” of the father’s recent income (cherry-pick the data to determine his highest possible earnings) and award the mother some percentage of that income. In the two-year period prior to my divorce, I made less than $7,000 per month on average. I made even less after my divorce. But I was making $29,000 a month in 2009 – six years earlier. Naturally, my ex-wife’s lawyer waved my 2009 tax return around like a flag, insisting I can keep earning that much.
The judge apparently “split the baby”, and decided I should pay support based on a theoretical income of $18,000 a month (the average of $29,000 and $7,000). The judge called me “the Goose that lays the Golden Eggs,” but nevermind that such a job was unavailable to me. Lawyers who represent women will tell you the support guidelines are Holy Gospel, etched in stone tablets. When men complain they can’t afford the payments (like me, forced to pay $10,000 a month), the lawyers will shrug their shoulders and concede: “Hey, those are the guidelines. Tough luck, asshole.” By then, my ex-wife’s income had fallen about 95% since I went to war. The judge never told her to go get a better job. She let her real estate license lapse. No one noticed or cared.
I have always paid to support my children, without hesitation, with or without a court order. Of course I have a responsibility to support my children. OF COURSE. No one needs to explain that to me. I pay thousands of dollars every month, sometimes having to borrow to do so. But it’s never enough. Courts order support payments that have nothing to do with the actual cost of raising children. It’s merely a matter of how much they can squeeze from the father. It’s a shakedown.
I planned to leave the warzones in 2013, and return to the USA to be closer to my daughters, but I knew my salary would drop by about 70%. But such a drop in salary would technically be voluntarily, and therefore, unacceptable to the courts. In theory, the law says my payments should drop when my salary goes down. But this law, as one divorced father told me, is like Bigfoot: some people believe it exists, but no one can prove it.
The irreducible essence: I was ordered to abandon my daughters and go to overseas wars forever to keep earning the big bucks so my ex-wife could retire.
My divorce was final on January 23, 2015. I took my daughters out for dinner that night and I never saw them again. Two days later, I had all of my divorce paperwork destroyed, all 37 pounds of it (I stopped counting pages at some point, and just weighed it). I then flew back to the Middle East. Within a few months, I accepted a mercenary* job that would put me back into another Middle East war. As of April 2016, technical problems have prevented me from re-deploying. So, my debt to my ex-wife balloons by thousands of dollars every month, and there is no hope I can ever repay it. There is no hope that I can return to a ‘normal’ life in the USA. There is no hope that I can be a father to my girls.
*mercenary – when and if I deploy to the next warzone, I’ll be a stateless, self-employed contractor, not officially working on behalf of any country. I won’t enjoy the military and diplomatic protections of the United States as I did in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Did I flee the USA? Of course not. I wanted to come home. I dreamed of coming home. I used the word ”homecoming” many times at trial, and in e-mails to my ex-wife. I asked the judge for a resolution that would allow me to return the USA. I pleaded. In fact, I begged to come home. In anticipation of returning to the USA, I even bought a car in Virginia in 2012. But it was sold, with everything else, to pay for lawyers. The short story is this: my skills are worth more overseas, and I cannot possibly afford to live in the USA and pay what’s ordered. This is a matter of numbers, specifically the supply and demand for a particular skillset. Just ask any of the truck drivers who worked in Iraq or Afghanistan if they could make $150,000 a year driving trucks in the United States.
My parents are divorced. They both moved on to have separate lives. My father kept his old job, got re-married, and retired. He didn’t need to leave the USA. He supported my mother, but it was just 300 dollars a month. He simply wrote her a check each month and handed it to her. My support payments are DOZENS of times more, and I am compelled to deal with a frustrating array of Virginia state offices (and morons) just to pay my ex-wife. My mother didn’t expect to retire from her divorce; she kept working. My sister got divorced. She was a single mom and kept working. Her ex-husband went on to have a life and get re-married. My ex-wife’s parent’s got divorced and they both went on to have separate lives: they bought cars and houses and got re-married. They both worked. Everyone has a good job. Everyone except my ex-wife (even the Judge had two jobs!).
My marriage ended, but I expected to move on to another life worth living. I was wrong. I am expected to work forever to support an ex-wife who earned an early retirement through perjury, loopholes and the Family Court’s overt hostility towards men.
My daughters – now children of a single mother – are hurt because the Family Court forces me out of their lives.
Children of single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale: they have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more likely to grow up poor, they have lower educational achievements and experience more behavioral problems than children who grow up with both parents. Depression, suicide, drug abuse, jail and psychiatric medications are all more common in populations of children raised by single mothers.
My ex-wife, who once easily earned five figures every month, was encouraged by her lawyer to abandon her career, and hinge her family’s entire wellbeing on a single wage earner (“sitting on your biscuit, never having to risk it”). Not just any wage earner, but her ex-husband. How smart is that? As another divorced woman told me, there is nothing worse than being dependent on a man from whom you are trying to separate.
My ex-wife admitted openly, under oath, that she prefers to be poor and underemployed than move somewhere where she could find lucrative work. It was naked, brazen contempt for the idea that everyone should work to support their children. I guess it’s okay for me to move somewhere harsh and disagreeable to earn money. But not her. She claimed she needs more than $8000 a month to run her household, and it’s assumed that such a pricey albatross should be placed entirely around my neck, even if I have to go back to s~~~hole warzones to earn it.
Once upon a time, I lived and worked not far from the Kingdom of Bahrain. My ex-wife is a realtor and a savvy high-end art dealer. Bahrain has real estate and art galleries. Wealthy Arabs are consumers. She could easily work in Bahrain, and return to her previous income. I never suggested we all live under one roof, but we could all live in Bahrain and make money. My daughters could have their father back and go to American schools. Is it crazy that I suggest we all live in Bahrain? Maybe. But I think it’s crazier that my daughters grow up poor and fatherless in Virginia where neither my ex-wife nor I can earn a decent living.
My Family Court nightmare has left me black and blue. My head is bloody, but unbowed.
God bless peace and freedom.
Topic: Process of Transformation
Greetings MGTOW brothers. I just wanted to share the process of my transformation. Hopefully this will help and guide more future MGTOW brothers to come:
– Was in a relationship in 2006. Seemed things were good for 5 months till we got into our first fight. She made it seem way more dramatic than what it seemed.
– After 8 months in the relationship, she started talking to this other dude and hanging out with him more and more (will explain in another story) I had a suspicion they were having sex, but it didn’t really bother me. To this day I still don’t know. I just had the realization she was stupid more and more
– We finally broke up after a year. She went to the dude she was seeing.
– 2007 After 2 months I started to rehabilitate myself. I still had these feelings of wanting a woman and desires for sex. I guess you could say I kind of went into “exile” and kept my distance from women. This part was easy as they never talked to me anyway. Most couldn’t make up their minds, most played games and wouldn’t give me a straight answer in the past. Many would lie to me saying they were sick only to find out later they were with another guy. I realized I had enough pain and decided to take a plunge.
-The rehabilitation process. This would last 7 years, and it was very hard. I kept going back and forth and I couldn’t make up my mind what I wanted and had to keep telling myself “NO” or “ITS A TRAP” During these 7 years I kept thinking to myself negative and disgusting things about women (Like periods, bitching, mind games, etc) to deter myself from falling into a trap. After the 7 years I noticed it was getting easier and easier to resist them. I was single for a year after this.
-After 8 years of being single and no sex, I thought I met a good woman. She seemed loyal, trust worthy, and loving. Sometimes she would even pay my meals. However after 3 months I noticed she would tell other people about my flaws, scratch my friends head with her nails, and even hug them. She kept wanting sex from me, but I found it hard to “raise it up” from my rehabilitation. I wasn’t really in a relationship with this woman and I told her lets just hang out and see where it goes. Later on my finances were getting bad as I kept driving back and forth to drive her. Her family also got involved and kept getting into our business,especially her mother. After a year I decided to cut ties with her once and for all and left at that. I got lucky as I didn’t feel sad of heart broken, but felt really relieved instead.
-2015 A year of being single. This is the year I learnt about NAWALTS and the lies women say and the “change”. From my last encounter, she was a NAWALT. I also trained myself to feel independence and accomplishment. This would fully turn me off from women. I started making a plan for my life and a commitment to myself: Never to fall in love ever again with anybody, and keep advancing. And to let no one and nothing stop me of my plans especially women. I also been noticing the way relationships go now a days, partners don’t stay committed. They go out and cheat and lie. Also the fighting and bitching is annoying. I felt really disgusted and decided I don’t want any part with women anymore. I refuse to be part of the flock of sheep. This was also the year I learnt about MGTOW and was relieved that there were other males out there. The white knights would defend women whenever I would talk about their flaws.
-2016 This has been a very weird year as now countless women are hitting on me now. This is also the year I am working 3 jobs. I fully realized there is no such thing as love (my belief, you can believe what you want) and have no desire for sex or love. When a woman admits she wants sex from me, I just laugh and say “You’re on crack woman” and ignore there advances. I also been losing a lot of weight (in a good way, no health issues) and my blood pressure is back to normal. I am full MGTOW now. I have removed myself from women. The next step is to remove myself from society.
-Future plans now is to become rich and own a business one day. I still try to find ways to turn myself off from women more. I also want to become more fit and active and stronger. Never will I have a family or woman. I was meant to live this life alone as society proved this to me. I fully accepted and it is too late to go back. Thank you MGTOW for making me realizing the full truth and making me see the bigger picture. Its time to start thinking outside the box. And remove myself from the flock.
What people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on science.
Topic: How to Broke and survive
Hi Everyone,
It’s been a pleasure and a relief to find out places likes this. Where i can read read people with a lot of knowledge as lurker we share a lot of things in common, it’s hard to talk about some things in the daily life with.
I’ll try to make my story short, my written english is very rusty and i don’t want to give you a hard time reading me, if i make some grammar mistakes please ignore them or better tell me how to improve.
I’ve been a lonely guy my whole life.
With that i mean i could be surrounded by “friends” and don’t have problems with girls, just because the ones that i liked lose their magic for me after two or three meetings, could be sexual or just talking, watching rections and predicting how it will finished.
So i have more than often a few tricks under my sleeve to make them lose interest in me.
For example:
Don’t taking phone calls doesn’t work, but creating a discussion from no where and hanging up the phone moves the feeling of guilty from me to them and i have an excuse i learnt it from them.
Talking friendly when they want more and i think that it will become a disaster, doesn’t work but watching and listening what bored them and doing it averyday when i’m done, works perfectly. In two or three weeks i don’t receive no more calls and still i can say “hi” if i cross some of them somewhere others don’t want to see me again that’s sure.
This works in short relationships two or three months maximum, i don’t dare to say nothing about marriage, interest, money and kids in the middle, and the hard stuff some of you speak about…
The longest relationship i had was 4 years long ( for me that was dead from the first six months), she was absloutely crazy about me (and with mental problem she crashed the wall years ago before we started and looking back i think she was on her way to the cliff after the wall)
She had a long “background” behind her, so i prefered to find excuses to spend my time in other things that wasted a lot of my time but at the same time i enjoy and seems productive for the “untrained eye”(her).
I find an excuse to spent nights out because of the health of a relative (that was true but i didn’t spend my nights there at least most of them)
I spent hours and hours and days and months, hearing her stupid blamings on me by phone to the point that she bored about my pasiveness (just answer:yes, no and long silences)
I spent hours and days designing plans to take her out to places where she feels low, bored,uncomfortable an so on… but in the meantime i tried to support her lack of insecurity doing more “fun” things and hearing her hate to world where she can’t fit.
I had to learn how to handle a bunch of crazy hags asking her if she was happy with me , but playing double game at her back, telling her (the hags) that they had wonderful husbands, and so on…or me avoiding her stupid questions with a smile or playing the tired or drunked card.
Finally the solution cames with an old ex-boyfriend of her, who came again whe had a disco so i set up the things with an argument (from nowhere) in the moment that he shows her ugly face as ussual and i said to her don’t call me anymore i’m done withyou.
It takes one year more or this kind of tactics, hanging up the phone and so on but finally i get ride of her.
She is now with him again since the last summer, in Christmas she call the police and told them that he raped her. Sent me about one month whatsapps telling me that she wouldn’t like sex anymore since that, casual conversations and a lot of boring for me again (but just by phone)…
I Told her that i understood how bad i treat her and that she deserves a better guy than the other (the rapist) and me, “don’t lose your faith”, in fact i was talking as a buddhist monk could talk with a whore.
And finally they’re living toghether again after one month (that was in January) i feel pity for both, and i wish them luck they’ll need it.
Could you believe it?
4 f~~~ing years, to get rid of her planning how to escape “alive” (with threats of police calls if i broke with her or if she saw me with other girl), when i wanted to stop the thing within the first 6 months.
This summer (now) i have a problem with my feelings (thanks to god not with the last one, with a new one but not involved) i’m still human and i like girls, but this is another story and i’ll post it in a new post i’m pretty sure that you can help me with your point of view about that new one very fast.
In fact is all decided. But the more motivation the best.
So that’s it then. After the poor box office showing for the new Ghostbusters, it seems Sony are suddenly less enthused by their plans to make a sequel. Nothing was in concrete, but it looked like it was going to happen.
But now, after a $180m global haul (which is eye-poppingly rubbish) – and projections of a final take of less than $225m when it opens on the remaining markets, that’s not going to happen. Sony needed $300m to break even, and they’re now looking at losses of more than $70m.
No doubt the 40-year-old virgins are to blame, if you’re one of the people who actually liked the film. Or maybe it could be the fact that it was utterly, abjectly terrible?
Sony obviously won’t confirm whether the sequel is dead, but THR say a rep has told them that the studio will instead focus on an animated Ghostbusters feature for around 2019 and the upcoming Ghostbusters: Ecto Force TV show.
Here’s how Sony are spinning it: “We’re very proud of the bold movie Paul Feig made, which critics and audiences loved. It has enlivened a 30-year-old brand and put it into the modern zeitgeist. As a result, we have many ideas in the works to further exploit the Ghostbusters universe.”
They also insist the loss figures are wrong too:
“This loss calculation is way off. With multiple revenue streams, including consumer products, gaming, location-based entertainment, continued international rollout, and huge third-party promotional partnerships that mitigated costs, the bottom line, even before co-financing, is not remotely close to that number.”
That’s one hell of a lot of merchandising and attraction money.
The problem of course is that Sony can now never make another live-action Ghostbusters film if they don’t do a sequel. They can’t reboot with an all male cast, because it will either be perceived as an admission of failure or it will open them to some heavily politicised criticism and jabs about anti-progressive film-making.
What we need is for Disney to buy the rights, to pay Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson and the rest of the supporting cast (ALL of them), to make a legacy movie as it’s supposed to be. Have a second generation of characters, have them related in some way to the first team and annoyed that their fathers’ legacies were forgotten. And make them both male and female.
Oh, and don’t make Slimer so rubbish, and have a compelling villain. It’s pretty simple.
Additionally – and not exactly surprisingly – Paul Feig has also come out to confirm that he’s not going to be rebooting any films any time soon. Asked by Huffington Post if he would, he was pretty clear: “No, no, no. No, I will not, this one was just too tempting because I knew we could do something with it that was exciting”.
He definitely did something with it.
http://whatculture.com/film/ghostbusters-set-for-70m-loss-don-39-t-expect-a-sequel?rf=homepage
To the shock of no one.
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
Ari Schochet has grown so accustomed to being sent to jail for missing alimony payments that he goes into a routine.
Before his family-court hearing, Schochet, 41, sticks on a nicotine patch to cope with jailhouse smoking bans, sends an “Ari Off the Grid” e-mail to friends and family, and scrawls key phone numbers in permanent ink on his forearm.
Schochet, who said he worked as a portfolio manager at Citadel Investment Group Inc. and Fortress Investment Group LLC and once earned $1 million a year, has been jailed for missing court-ordered payments at least eight times in the past two years as he coped with the end of his 17-year marriage.
The reason he ran afoul of the law was simple. He was out of work for most of that time, a victim of a weak economy, and he ran through his savings trying to pay his wife alimony and child support that totaled almost $100,000 a year.
“It’s a circle of hell there’s just no way out of,” Schochet said. “I paid it as long as I could.”
Schochet and ex-spouses in similar changed circumstances say New Jersey’s law unfairly imposes lifetime alimony on them. If they fail to make payments, like the $78,000 a year Schochet owes his ex-wife in alimony, they can be jailed for contempt of court regardless of whether they have a job or resources.Earning Power
Relief may be on the way. In states such as New Jersey, Connecticut and Florida where divorce laws are based on century-old notions of what an ex-spouse deserves, laws are being proposed to limit alimony in recognition of wives’ earning power and the changed economic circumstances husbands can face.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2007 recommended restricting alimony amounts and duration. The proposal became the basis for Massachusetts’s alimony reform laws in 2011. Those statutes eliminated permanent alimony and gave judges guidelines for calculating amounts.
Three states have enacted laws abolishing permanent alimony with caveats allowing discretion in exceptional cases, according to Laura W. Morgan, an attorney and owner of Family Law Consulting in Charlottesville, Virginia. Lawmakers in at least 10 other states, including New Jersey, are being prompted by advocates to consider more restrictive legislation, said Morgan, who is writing an alimony handbook to be published by the American Bar Association.Alimony Formula
New York lawmakers are considering a bill that would create an alimony formula that would require that only spouses with much higher incomes than their ex-partners pay support.Connecticut Governor Dannel P. Malloy in June signed legislation revising the state’s alimony statutes to add education and earning capacity to a list of factors to be considered. The changes, which take effect Oct. 1, direct judges to specify the basis for any award of permanent alimony. The law also calls for lawmakers to study the fairness and adequacy of statutes governing alimony awards and make recommendations by February.
Florida’s legislature passed an alimony overhaul that would have eliminated permanent support. Governor Rick Scott, a Republican, vetoed the bill in May, citing its provision to allow changes to existing awards.
Following a state commission’s recommendation in 1995, New Jersey limited the duration of alimony after short-lived marriages while leaving intact permanent alimony and judicial discretion.Far-Reaching
The first of two proposals before New Jersey lawmakers would allow modification of alimony due to changed circumstances such as a payer’s unemployment or disability. The bill, sponsored by Assemblyman Sean Kean, a Wall Township Republican, would keep permanent alimony. That bill and an identical one in the Senate have passed the judiciary committees.
A more far-reaching proposal, sponsored by six Assembly members including Kean and Charles Mainor, a Democrat from Jersey City, would abolish permanent alimony. Identical legislation in the Senate is sponsored by Sandra Cunningham, also a Jersey City Democrat.The Mainor-Kean bill is modeled on the Massachusetts law, which was supported by women’s groups and the state bar association. It would base alimony on the length of the marriage and income and allow ex-spouses to stop payments when they retire.
Reform Group
“You have a moral and legal obligation to provide for your child until they’re 18,” Mainor said in an interview. “You don’t have that same obligation to your former spouse for the rest of your life.”
The Mainor-Kean bill is backed by New Jersey Alimony Reform, an advocacy group headed by Tom Leustek, a divorced Rutgers University plant-science professor from Rahway who pays his former wife alimony based on a private settlement to avoid litigation.
Mainor’s bill would leave in place three types of alimony: rehabilitative, reimbursement and limited-duration.Rehabilitative alimony is to help an ex-spouse become self-supporting. It would generally be limited to five years barring “unforeseen events.” Reimbursement alimony can be ordered if one spouse supported the other’s advanced education expecting to share the “fruits of the earning capacity” it created.
Limited-duration alimony would be awarded for no longer than half the length of a marriage of five years or less, with higher percentages for those approaching 10, 15 or 20 years. For marriages of 20 years or more, payments could last indefinitely.Circumstances Differ
Alimony would end if the receiving ex-spouse remarried or entered a new civil union, as permanent alimony does now. It would end when the paying spouse reached retirement age, whether he or she retired. Judges could make exceptions to the rules “in the interests of justice,” based on evidentiary findings.
The difficulty with strict criteria for alimony amounts is that family circumstances differ, Bonnie Frost, a former chairwoman of the New Jersey Bar Association’s family law division, said in an interview.About 22,000 former spouses receive alimony under court supervision in New Jersey, with child support also going to about 60 percent of them. An unknown number receive maintenance under private settlements that couples reach before going to family court.
Persuading a judge to change amounts is difficult and expensive, Leustek said. The average fee for a lawyer to start the process is about $10,000, he said.
Mainor’s bill seeks to rein in judges by requiring them to justify their refusals to make modifications in writing.
Legal Origins
Judges are following the law, not deciding cases “based on a public discussion about reform,” said Winnie Comfort, a spokeswoman for New Jersey courts.
Alimony laws in most states originated when women typically stayed at home and depended on their husbands for financial support. If a husband left, the wife was entitled to lifelong support to avoid starvation, said Morgan, the family law attorney in Charlottesville. In the 1950s alimony was seen as necessary to a woman’s survival.Women now make up almost half the labor force, 47 percent compared with 30 percent in 1950, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics says. Dual-income couples accounted for 59 percent, of married households with children under 18 in 2011, according to the bureau. About a third of women earned more than their husbands in 2011, compared with 18 percent in 1987.
“But there is still a glass ceiling, and women are still earning just 70 cents on the dollar” earned by men, Morgan said.Women’s Stories
She called the current push for change “very male-driven.”
“As men retire, they don’t want to keep paying alimony,” she said. “For every horror story that you can come up with about a support obligor, I can come up with 10 for an obligee who can’t make ends meet because her post-divorce standard of living has so drastically dropped.”Women paying alimony have horror stories too. Alisa Whiting, 50, who helped form New Jersey Women for Alimony Reform last year, worked in the mortgage industry for 25 years earning about $160,000 with bonus in 2004, when she was a vice president at JPMorgan Chase & Co., she said.
Whiting’s ex-husband was self-employed with two businesses and made more than she did for most of their 20-year marriage, she said.When he stopped working after she filed for divorce in 2008, she was ordered to pay $20,000 a year in alimony until her youngest son is out of college and $25,000 a year afterward.
Lost Job
Whiting lost her job that year and went to work for a software company in Woodbridge, New Jersey, earning $52,000 a year responding to requests for proposals. Her hours were cut July 1 to two days a week. She takes home about $800 a month, including unemployment payments, she said.
She plans to represent herself in court in a request for an alimony modification.
“There are no words to describe the despair that I feel,” Whiting said. “I’m tired. It’s infuriating. Permanent alimony is an outdated concept. It’s based on a salary that I don’t have any hope of ever earning again.”Support-enforcement hearings for people like Schochet in Bergen County have been held in the county jail in Hackensack since Hurricane Sandy damaged the courthouse.
Holding Cells
Schochet’s ex-wife, Sharona Grossberg, declined to be interviewed about her divorce, which became final in April 2012. Her attorney, William Schiffman, didn’t respond to requests seeking comment on the case.
Citadel spokeswoman Katie Spring said in an e-mail that Schochet worked as an analyst and “not a portfolio manager” when he was at the firm. Gordon Runte, a managing director at New York-based Fortress, didn’t immediately return an e-mail message seeking comment about Schochet’s employment.
Accused scofflaws like Schochet store their belongings in lockers in a central lobby before being sent through electronic metal detectors and corralled in holding cells that flank a fluorescent-lit multipurpose room.Judge Lisa Firko, like other family-law judges, conducts hearings from a makeshift bench while jail employees pass documents between a court-appointed attorney and probation staff.
Schochet parks in a dirt lot across the street when he’s required to make an appearance at Firko’s court.
“When I tell people what’s happened to me these last two years they say, ‘Your story can’t possibly be true, and you must be in court because you beat your wife,’” Schochet said. “This has nothing to do with anything other than money.”Job Prospects
Since April, he has managed to leave the jail following each appearance after Firko acknowledged his efforts to secure a well-paying job. Schochet now works part-time as an entry-level stock transfer agent, a job that leaves him with about $100 a month in disposable cash after garnisheeing and taxes. He’s got a steady girlfriend and job prospects.
“It’s amazing how small you can live,” said Schochet, whose longest jail stay was 11 days. “I’m down to paying for electricity, water, my cell phone, Internet and gas. Friends help out with whatever else I need.”
All that may be in jeopardy after he faced Firko again yesterday to explain why he was rejected for a court-required $500,000 life insurance policy naming his ex-wife and children as beneficiaries.
“I have been more than patient with you,” the judge told Schochet.The judge ordered him to surrender to authorities and the head of the work/release program gave him until 6 p.m. yesterday to report to jail, where he will spend his evenings and leave during the day for the next two weeks, when his case will be reviewed by the judge on Sept. 9. His release is conditional on paying $25,000 in arrears.
“What am I supposed to do?” he said in a phone interview yesterday. “This is so against the law, so against my civil rights. Now I’m stuck in the system again for months. It’s just unbelievable. I have no recourse. The legal system has totally stepped away from me.”
Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. LEARN MORETopic: In the cross hairs
There has been more discussion of mgtow as of late. A few articles by MRAs, by others in the manosphere, and by people in general. MGTOW is in the cross hairs. We’re an easy target, and we’re finally becoming a problem to the mainstream.
Expect it to get worse, and remember, this means we’re winning. The more they bitch, the more effective we’re being. And the best part? They have no trump card, they have nothing to negotiate with. Shaming language? Not really effective against men that don’t give a f~~~. They have nothing that men want, but they will keep insisting that we have to come back to the plantation.
They will use that slew of shaming language that we’ve all heard. About being a real man, and all that bulls~~~. But they have nothing we want, nothing to bargain with. So look forward to more attention from the world, and also expect a nice laugh as they collectively sweat as reality sinks in.
Men have left the building and we no longer care.
Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.
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