When night descends..

[eng_87Participant 122]

….I find it hardest to cope. This post doesn’t need any replies, I just find as night draws closer, I sometimes feel this enveloping sadness. Only sometimes, and though I know going my own way is the best way, where I’ve achieved more towards my goals in life in 3 months than I have the last 2 years, it still feels hard at times.

I went for a walk last night under a clear night sky to shake the thoughts, foolishly I was walking on autopilot and foolishly, took a route that took me past my ex’s place. I didn’t realise it until I caught her letter box in my peripheral vision. I didn’t glance, I didn’t look at her house, but the laughter and sound of voices, unfamiliar was echoing from the windows.

I kept going, and it wasn’t the fact I knew that she had moved on so quick no, it was not that, it was because she is a headstone to the grave in which lies years of life, that could have been used in exploring and living and loving some many other things.

We’ve invented time travel, only it goes in the wrong damn direction, and I feel like there forever will be a momument in me, to the time I cranked the dial too far forward and lost this portion of my existense.

I’ve been asked, do I wish I never met her, never made those memories and attachments: I say yes. I still walk out of my room sometimes and expect this gorgeous little 4 year old to come running up to me and beg to be lifted high, and fly around the house. To make banana splits before bedtime or go see the big scary bones at the museum.

I’m just venting, and I wish I could just teleport over to a fellow mgtows house, walk in with a bottle of glenmorangie and two Partaga series D # 5 cigars and smoke the night away.

I hope you all are having a good night.

I know this feeling will pass, it always does. The wamrth and happiness will return with rising sun.

bonum nocte fratres

[RoyDalParticipant]

eng_87 wrote:

I just find as night draws closer, I sometimes feel this enveloping sadness.

This too shall pass. Keep on truckin’ and let your emotions resolve themselves. Emotions are nothing but a glandular condition. Whatever emotion is going on, it will dissolve and be replaced by another, probably its opposite.

Meanwhile, treat yourself to a good meal …

@STEALTHY MGTOW,
I am a big fan of bacon-wrapped filet mignon. Also beef Wellington, although it’s a bother to cook up. (I cheat and use pre-made biscuit dough from the supermarket.) Frankly (pun intended) bacon-wrapped kosher hot dogs on a BBQ grill do it for me. (Bacon plus kosher might seem like a major contradiction, but kosher beef is the only kind of hot dog I eat. It is because of their purity standards.)

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[I_Walk_AloneParticipant 580]

The gym
The internet
Reading
Catching up on movies/TV shows
Gaming

Post break-up I was a complete mess for a long time. I now relish being the master of my own house of an evening. No more trashy soaps and reality shows. No more having to eat junk food for dinner to placate my partner.

Feet up, gaming sessions, movie/tv show marathons, benching indoors with my music blasting out. It’s a freedom that once you realise it, you will come to embrace. Right now, I’m having a beer while watching the UFC that I DVRd over the weekend. Marvellous.

[UmbreonParticipant 152]

There’s one simple truth: you can’t live backward. Life only moves forward.

Most of us lost a few years to ungrateful, cruel, manipulative, and/or otherwise unworthy women. It’s a quiet sadness, but you have to understand at at least we got out. We don’t wake up next to people who are using us anymore. We don’t have to lie and pretend that how we’re treated is OK and fake being happy. We can actually try to move forward now and make the best future for ourselves that we can. Some of us will be lucky and find great fortune, but others just have solitude. That’s just the way life is.

It hurts to look back and know we lost so much time, but there’s the rest of our lives ahead to make it better. Let’s make it better.

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

[EntropyParticipant 902]

Embrace the lows man, the highs dont mean dick without them.

"Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves" -BBR

[Anonymous 29]

eng_87 wrote:

….I find it hardest to cope. This post doesn’t need any replies, I just find as night draws closer, I sometimes feel this enveloping sadness. Only sometimes, and though I know going my own way is the best way, where I’ve achieved more towards my goals in life in 3 months than I have the last 2 years, it still feels hard at times.
I went for a walk last night under a clear night sky to shake the thoughts, foolishly I was walking on autopilot and foolishly, took a route that took me past my ex’s place. I didn’t realise it until I caught her letter box in my peripheral vision. I didn’t glance, I didn’t look at her house, but the laughter and sound of voices, unfamiliar was echoing from the windows.
I kept going, and it wasn’t the fact I knew that she had moved on so quick no, it was not that, it was because she is a headstone to the grave in which lies years of life, that could have been used in exploring and living and loving some many other things.
We’ve invented time travel, only it goes in the wrong damn direction, and I feel like there forever will be a momument in me, to the time I cranked the dial too far forward and lost this portion of my existense.
I’ve been asked, do I wish I never met her, never made those memories and attachments: I say yes. I still walk out of my room sometimes and expect this gorgeous little 4 year old to come running up to me and beg to be lifted high, and fly around the house. To make banana splits before bedtime or go see the big scary bones at the museum.
I’m just venting, and I wish I could just teleport over to a fellow mgtows house, walk in with a bottle of glenmorangie and two Partaga series D # 5 cigars and smoke the night away.
I hope you all are having a good night.
I know this feeling will pass, it always does. The wamrth and happiness will return with rising sun.
bonum nocte fratres

Dare I say, that there is not a single MGTOW follower that has not had the same moments.
But in the back of my mind there is thought that rings ever louder . . .the price . . . the price !. . . . THE F~~~ING PRICE IS NOT WORTH IT ! ! (circa 1981)

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

eng_87 wrote:

she is a headstone to the grave in which lies years of life, that could have been used in exploring and living and loving some many other things.

This eloquently sums it up for me.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

eng_87 wrote:

I’m just venting, and I wish I could just teleport over to a fellow mgtows house, walk in with a bottle of glenmorangie and two Partaga series D # 5 cigars and smoke the night away.

along with the comments before mine, if you are near Charlotte, NC. , we can bypass the teleport issue.

[eng_87Participant 122]

Phantom wrote:

eng_87 wrote:

I’m just venting, and I wish I could just teleport over to a fellow mgtows house, walk in with a bottle of glenmorangie and two Partaga series D # 5 cigars and smoke the night away.

along with the comments before mine, if you are near Charlotte, NC. , we can bypass the teleport issue.

I thank you humbly for the offer but unfortunately I am 8325 miles from where you live 🙂

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

eng_87 wrote:

I thank you humbly for the offer but unfortunately I am 8325 miles from where you live

Anytime 🙂 , so we will have to walk a bit 😛
Back to the teleport drawing board 🙂

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

I’ve been asked, do I wish I never met her, never made those memories and attachments

This sentiment isnt unique to you; and I dont say that in a condescending or despariging way. Quite the contrary. Every air breathing individual on the history of planet Earth has more regrets than successes, DESPITE the self painted portrayel to the contrary.

Show me a man who willingly lies to appear better than they are, and I will show you a self-image that they are so ashamed of they WILLINGLY lie to themselves and all around them to appear more “valuable”. Thats much more pathetic than a man such as yourself, who can look in the mirror and say ” Im not happy with everything”. Let alone the fact that you come on an anonymous forum and seek refuge in TRUTH.

To me, there is MUCH more value in your ability to self reflect and express yourself, than the douchebaggery tool and c~~~ who is incapable. ESPECIALLY in todays society.

My point is: we ALL have regrets. More regrets than happy memories. You’re not alone in that. Its a major part of life. The fact that you recognize them and are willing to discuss them, shows your a bigger man then most in life.

Dont beat yourself up over it. Im guilty of the same.

Resident cynic.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

Same here, some nights are good some bad. Then I remember I could still be married and my night brightens immediately.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[ScandinavianParticipant 590]

I think most of us have that feeling from time to time. The human mind is fantastic some say, my opinion is that it’s fubar as it has a tendency of forgetting negative things of the past and focus on the good memories. It happens sometimes that I miss an old ex of mine, I remember all the fun things we did together and for a second I think “why did I kick her out?”, then it slowly and gradually comes back to me; the whole -days- of the female game of “Guess what I’m p~~~ed off at THIS time!”, the nagging and bitching when I didn’t have energy to do things with her saturday morning after having worked 75 hrs monday-friday, and all the other s~~~. And that was the -best- girlfriend I had: the rest has been worse!

Then all of a sudden being alone and bored is pretty ok….

[Author]

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