Good morning brothers! I wish you all well. Thanksgiving to all that is good and all The Universe gives us. It is truly great to be alive.
Have you ever seen the film “Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead”? Great flick, although Andy Garcia does simp out at the end. There is a very important concept throughout the film which is explained at one point by Robert Loggia. When the characters leave each other, they don’t say ‘goodbye’. They say ‘Boat Drinks’. Boat Drinks represents the end game, the thing that will make it all worth it. For them, it’s about being on a cabin cruiser with your bros, drinking margaritas, and knowing that all the bulls~~~ was worth it for that. It’s The Dream that keeps you going.
So here it is: what’s your Boat Drinks dream? What are you working for? What important thing are you going to spend that money on instead of divorce court? I want to know, and will read every single one. Don’t be afraid to really detail it, really make it your own. Secluded hermit cabin? Giant RV? Beach condo? Don’t be afraid to dream that dream here. Really visualize it, because that will help make it happen. I’m definitely going to detail mine! First, I have to get in the right mind frame:
Grindgrindgrind. Stuff. Gurgglegurgglegurggle. Phewwwww. (Chug beer). BBBBBEEEEEELLLLLCCCCCHHH!
“BLAZE, ARE YOU SMOKING MARIJUANA IN THE HOUSE! I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES NOT TO DO THAT!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO QUIT!! THE WHOLE HOUSE SMELLS LIKE DOPE!!! THE DRAPES ARE RUINED!! NOW I HAVE TO GO TO BED BATH AND BEYOND AND GET NEW ONES!! GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD!!! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH……”
Nah, I’m just kidding. Just wanted to give you a laugh first, and remind you what kills the Boat Drinks. And now…
I am literally on the Boat Drinks dream of the cabin cruiser. I was thinking RV, but too many cops, laws, other drivers, etc. The ocean will let me be alone and free. The captain of my own pirate ship. In honor of the Red Pill, I am giving my ship an Egyptian name, like the ships in “The Matrix”. The Amun-Ra (the Sun God!). Hopefully it’s not registered.
What kind of boat will the Amun-Ra be? A 35-39 foot aft cabin cruiser. Forty feet is the cutoff for a captain’s license, so nothing special needed. Aft cabins have two full state rooms, so my Red Pill bros can crash out there with me in comfort. Y’all are invited. Just bring some beer, bait, water, or food, ya cheap bastards!
Those boats are currently going for around 100K with diesel engines. Gasoline is half as much, but way more expensive to operate. The upfront cost will be double that because I plan on major rebuilding and upgrading. My goal is to do this in 10 years. I already have the initial money saved. What I am working on is the support funds, the investment money that will generate dividends for financial sustainability. So it is a real possibility. Boat stuff can be pricey for what it is. Everything is effectively double of the land equivalent. That’s where I have an advantage. I grew up in an area famous for fishing and boating, and I know lots of people in the industry. I can get deals on work, parts, etc. I can have people provide me with a local address for permits, moorings, all that stuff. It’s a good advantage for the dream.
Now for some really fun stuff, the upgrades and add ons:
Engines-
Full service and rebuild. Upgrade with turbo if they don’t have it. Rebuild the transmission and synchro. I want that f~~~er seaworthy!
Electronics-
GPS: can’t skimp here. I plan on doing my own navigation by hand, but only a fool would rely on only one system. A good setup with a full screen and offline capabilities.
Satellite TV antenna: Got to have my baseball and hockey! They are costly up front, but the service is just DIRECT TV. With a big screen.
Depth finder and radar, no explanation necessary.
Solar system with batteries: you know that big deck on the front of the a boat, where broads like to give themselves skin cancer? Yeah, that’s going to be a useful space. Diesel is expensive so it will have a positive value. The panel will flip up in case there is a large bro-down (which there will be!).
Satellite homing beacon: absolutely essential. I plan on leaving the Amun-Ra at anchor for periods of time. This might seem risky for those of you who aren’t experienced mariners, but it’s fairly standard. People leave multi million dollar boats at anchor for weeks! However, if you fail to plan you plan to fail. If the Boat slips anchor or I can’t find it in the fog it will be well worth the price. If it drifts out to sea beyond the range of the tender I can give the coordinates to the Coasties and have them grab it. Speaking of the tender…
Tender-
Another area where money is well spent. The tender is the crucial link between ship and shore. A rigid inflatable with center console and a decent engine. I would like to go 12’ with a 50hp, but a lot of marinas have a 9’ limit on “dinghys”. I have to think about it some more. The tender will have a davit system so I can safely stow it when cruising (davits are a hinge/ hoist system on the back deck platform). The tender will have a Weaver Leaver transom swivel so the engine stays plumb when hoisting. The davits will be fully removable because the back deck is going to be my spot and I want it open. When I’m out there, I will lash it to the bow and let it bob. Tenders are crazy expensive, but worth it. The tender and davits will be 20% the cost of the boat! But as I said, essential.
Miscellaneous –
Fighting chair: I’m on the fence here. They are way expensive for what they are (5-15K! They can be very artsy). Maybe build my own? I will think on it.
Map room: a definite. I love navigation, both land and sea. I will always cross check electronically, but I want to do full on map work. Charts, good tools, all of that.
Grow cabinet: essential. A micro grow setup with mother plants and a cutting flower chamber. Highly efficient fluorescent lights to save power. No shore runs for herb!
Kegerator: definitely. The bottles and cans would pile up too fast.
Bow pulpit: another maybe. They only get used when fishing or harpooning so it’s a luxury. I’ll see.
Deck s~~~ter: cheap and pragmatic. The boat will have two heads, but like we discussed in a post this week, don’t s~~~ where you sleep. I will make it so I can do ‘bottom bombs’ ( a paper bag with a rock in it. S~~~ on the bottom of the ocean doesn’t hurt anything). God, I can’t wait till a boat full of bikini bitches goes by while I’m doing the morning business!
Dog: another decision to make. I have to consider the welfare of the dog (unlike those lesbos from Hawaii who faked being castaways. They took two dogs with them in a tiny ass sailboat!). I would want a smaller poochie so the boat wouldn’t feel cramped for them. I would train poochie to s~~~ on a potty patch on the back deck for convenience. Hose it down with a deck washer. I would run poochie out to a beach on the tender for a daily exercise session. Poochies love boating!
And now, What will I do with the Amun-Ra? Whatever the f~~~ I want! It will have a home port where I can moor it up for shore runs. No slip rental, only rich bitches buy that s~~~. Eventually I will get a permanent mooring (the waiting list can be years long), and then it will have a home. But for the most part I will be on the water. I know about a group of sandbar islands off the coast of Cape Cod that is epic. I will hook fish, dig clams, and trap crabs. Long sunny days will start with sleeping late, fishing, and drinking beer until I want to sleep again. Anchor that boat up good, and go exploring in the tender with poochie. I will get commercial permits so I can sell my catch for pocket money. 2-4 times a month I will go on a cruise along the coast. A cabin cruiser gets about 1 knot per gallon, so how far you want to go is directly equivalent to the cost of fuel. Basically, weekend trips to cool destinations: Chesapeake Bay. Bar Harbor. Montauk. Wherever. I will never have to worry about a place to sleep.
In the winters I will cruise down south, maybe to the Caribbean. Fuel costs will be expensive, but slips and moorings are cheap. Get a bulls~~~ job selling t shirts to tourists or something for sustenance. Maybe the east coast of Central America. It will be epic.
Maybe take a summer off from The Cape and cruise to the Great Lakes. Be an inland pirate for a while! If the East Coast gets boring, I can go through the Panama Canal and do the West Coast thing. It’s all good.
Will it happen? I don’t know, but life is about possibilities. Maybe I will spend out my days on boat drinks. Maybe this year I will die of cancer. It doesn’t matter. It’s the dream that keeps you going.
So tell me, what’s your “Boat Drinks”?.
Quit looking at my signature, queer-mo.
Azrael 1 year, 8 months ago.
