What's the point if it goes back into her purse?

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

So, firstly, my divorce is not final. Then, suppose the ex wants to buy me out of the house. So she has to pay me for my share right? So if I were to go through with that then I have no more house; and I have cash. Then she can proceed to either claim half of that cash sometime long enough down the road? Or if that doesn’t work, go for alimony big-time and recoup it there. Or claim I have to pay certain expenses or maintenance costs. So what’s in it for me? It just looks like a way to get something unblocked, into my pocket, and then back into hers, AND, then I’m also out of a property. I need some ideas here guys. Do any of you have experience in this? Please let me know. Any input is appreciated.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Sorry for the messy post before, but I just got news that she may wanting to buy me out, so I’m like in need out putting it out there.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22521]

Point Of No Return wrote:

So, firstly, my divorce is not final. Then, suppose the ex wants to buy me out of the house. So she has to pay me for my share right? So if I were to go through with that then I have no more house; and I have cash. Then she can proceed to either claim half of that cash sometime long enough down the road? Or if that doesn’t work, go for alimony big-time and recoup it there. Or claim I have to pay certain expenses or maintenance costs. So what’s in it for me? It just looks like a way to get something unblocked, into my pocket, and then back into hers, AND, then I’m also out of a property. I need some ideas here guys. Do any of you have experience in this? Please let me know. Any input is appreciated.

See a lawyer. The lawyer will likely suggest to have the judge of the case officiate/order the selling/buyout house. Make sure the judge orders that the half of the money that goes to you do not go later back to her and that you both split the taxes and penalties on the sell/buyout.

If that does not work. The more questionable method is to use the money from the home to disappear.

[surfdude12Participant 4103]

Bury the cash and say you lost it in the Casino

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Faust For Science wrote:

Point Of No Return wrote:

So, firstly, my divorce is not final. Then, suppose the ex wants to buy me out of the house. So she has to pay me for my share right? So if I were to go through with that then I have no more house; and I have cash. Then she can proceed to either claim half of that cash sometime long enough down the road? Or if that doesn’t work, go for alimony big-time and recoup it there. Or claim I have to pay certain expenses or maintenance costs. So what’s in it for me? It just looks like a way to get something unblocked, into my pocket, and then back into hers, AND, then I’m also out of a property. I need some ideas here guys. Do any of you have experience in this? Please let me know. Any input is appreciated.

See a lawyer. The lawyer will likely suggest to have the judge of the case officiate/order the selling house and make sure the judge orders that the half of the money that goes to you do not go later back to her.

If that does not work. The more questionable method is to use the money from the home to disappear.

I have a tendency to agree with this. I have a feeling I could better protect my money by getting the judge to order the sale and have the proceeds marked nonreturnable.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

Sounds like something (property settlement) that needs to go into the separation agreement to be incorporated in the final divorce.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Anonymous 43]

lol my half of the equity went straight to paying the lawyer…all $25K. f~~~.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Well, here’s the way I understood it in my divorce. And remember I’m an accountant.

The division of property during the divorce proceedings is splitting up the marital balance sheet. In that case, she gets an asset (house) and you get an equally valued asset (cash). So, you go through the balance sheet and come up with a split of the assets and liabilities that you can agree on.

The alimony / child support is now looking at the income statements and coming up with an “equitable” redistribution of wealth on a forward looking basis. At this time, the balance sheet is history.

To put it another way, if she wanted to come after you for money that you got in the division of property, then you should be able to go after the increased value in the house from the time of the divorce until she tries to pull some s~~~ on you. Put it to her that way and see her f~~~ing head spin. Did she buy a new car? Good, I want that too. New jewelry? Mine. New TV? It would look perfect in my living room.

Order the good wine

[AwakenedParticipant 35201]

TaxGuy wrote:

The division of property during the divorce proceedings is splitting up the marital balance sheet. In that case, she gets an asset (house) and you get an equally valued asset (cash). So, you go through the balance sheet and come up with a split of the assets and liabilities that you can agree on

@taxguy

I don’t mean to “hijack” the thread, but for example, if the husband had worked 15 years towards a 30 year pension at the time of divorce, if agreeable between the parties, could the husband buy her out of HIS pension by giving her some CASH value equal to 7 1/2 years ??

Could this same formula work in place of alimony ??

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22521]

Point Of No Return wrote:

Faust For Science wrote:

Point Of No Return wrote:

So, firstly, my divorce is not final. Then, suppose the ex wants to buy me out of the house. So she has to pay me for my share right? So if I were to go through with that then I have no more house; and I have cash. Then she can proceed to either claim half of that cash sometime long enough down the road? Or if that doesn’t work, go for alimony big-time and recoup it there. Or claim I have to pay certain expenses or maintenance costs. So what’s in it for me? It just looks like a way to get something unblocked, into my pocket, and then back into hers, AND, then I’m also out of a property. I need some ideas here guys. Do any of you have experience in this? Please let me know. Any input is appreciated.

See a lawyer. The lawyer will likely suggest to have the judge of the case officiate/order the selling house and make sure the judge orders that the half of the money that goes to you do not go later back to her.

If that does not work. The more questionable method is to use the money from the home to disappear.

I have a tendency to agree with this. I have a feeling I could better protect my money by getting the judge to order the sale and have the proceeds marked nonreturnable.

You have to also get the judge to make sure the taxes and penalties are split between the two of you and that she cannot come back for the money later.

This is where this buyout can bite you. The government takes part of the buyout and the ex takes the rest.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Awakened wrote:

TaxGuy wrote:

The division of property during the divorce proceedings is splitting up the marital balance sheet. In that case, she gets an asset (house) and you get an equally valued asset (cash). So, you go through the balance sheet and come up with a split of the assets and liabilities that you can agree on

@taxguy

I don’t mean to “hijack” the thread, but for example, if the husband had worked 15 years towards a 30 year pension at the time of divorce, if agreeable between the parties, could the husband buy her out of HIS pension by giving her some CASH value equal to 7 1/2 years ??

Could this same formula work in place of alimony ??

I can tell you that you can agree on ANYTHING you want, to include her taking nothing. HOWEVER, you know your sweet lil’l cupcake won’t do that. I have seen many men be more successful buy paying out a little bit more CASH up front to keep them away from future revenue streams like pension and 401k payments. However, there’s a catch to that too. Spousal support is often in a “reserved” status in a long-term marriage, which means it could be revisited in the future. That’s even if there was an original award. It can be modified…say, your princess gets in a car accident that reduces her future earning potential. Unless she remarries, YOU ARE ON THE HOOK for that s~~~. This is California law, though, but it’s pretty friendly compared to many other states who have their rules set back in the 50’s and 60’s. Personally, my ex wife was awarded zero child support or alimony payments, but I do pay my kids’ portion of medical insurance and half their medical bills until 21 y/o.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

I think Nero covered it pretty well. I can tell you that this is where I got sideways with my ex. I have a pension and a 401K. I offered her 60% of the 401K in return for no pension. At the time she was thinking about buying a house and would have had to cash out the 401K money to do it. So, I offered her more up front cash if that was what she wanted to do.

She counter offered with both 50% of the pension and 60% of the 401K. When I told her that it was one or the other, she informed me that she was willing to commit perjury and risk having my CPA license and job in return for that extra 10%.

So, you can agree to whatever you can agree to, but giving cupcake too many options may leave her thinking, f~~~ it I’ll just take them all….

Order the good wine

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10910]

The house should be considered part of the division of assets and I wouldn’t sign anything unless it was the final divorce agreement and it was stated in there as a part of the division of assets. My ex tried that with me. She put a bid on a house before the divorce was final. She thought that she could use her half of the house as collateral. The bank declined it because the asset that she was using had another name on it. So with a year left before our no fault divorce was final, she wanted me to sign my half over to her so that she could put a bid on a house and we would state that in the division of assets when the divorce was final. I refused saying that I wanted papers drawn up stating that she received the house as part of the asset settlement early. I wanted credit for my half of the house so her attorney tried to trick me into signing a Quit Claim deed. Sign nothing without your attorney there and giving the OK.
In the end, the papers were drawn up and signed and I kept my pension. She got everything else. Back then I was p~~~ed but now I am glad that I don’t have to worry about dealing with her when I retire.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

TaxGuy wrote:

She counter offered with both 50% of the pension and 60% of the 401K. When I told her that it was one or the other, she informed me that she was willing to commit perjury and risk having my CPA license and job in return for that extra 10%.

Bro, I’m also an accountant. I have to ask how many times did you fantasize about doing horrible things to this c~~~? I need blood pressure meds after reading that. Please tell me you didn’t let her get that much. Oh, and let me guess, little precious didn’t make nearly what you did during the marriage?

I have to admit I found new respect for my ex when she told me she didn’t want anything from me and didn’t want my money and proved it during our Marital Settlement Agreement. I still can’t forget all the c~~~ery she put me through during marriage, though.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

@Mr. Spock: Please see what I wrote above. There are circumstances that could reopen her spousal support claim. Pray that she remarries.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10910]

Nero wrote:

@Mr. Spock: Please see what I wrote above. There are circumstances that could reopen her spousal support claim. Pray that she remarries.

@Brother Nero, I have read it and understand. As luck would have it, she remarried 5 years ago.
Thank you for the response. I did not know that about spousal support and alimony. I will help spread that too. The more men see that the deck is stacked against them (even when the game is over) the less likely they are to make the mistake I did.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

The continuation of the beginning of this thread is great! It gives me a lot to consider, which is what I wanted PLUS it gives guys that are about to step into a trap with a woman, plenty to think about. Good going bros!

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[CrowbarParticipant 192]

Also think about any inherited money that you may have received while you were married – make sure that she can’t take that. I stand to get a decent amount from my mom when she passes away based on current values (and I’m not planning on it – if she wants to spend it that’s up to her), and as I plan to stay married while my kids are little (up to around 10, which is a ways off), I’m thinking of having the trust that holds her assets be amended to give my brother the entire inheritance. Of course, telling my mom why we want to do that will be fun (may base it on professional liability concerns – I own a professional services business while my brother works for a big corp). He’d just take half of the inheritance and put it in a separate account in his name until things settle.

[narwhalParticipant]

My divorce settlement involved a house as well. I think it’s almost always going to be best to include it in the settlement. If nobody wants the house, you can sell early, but then it’s going to be complicated purchasing another home until the divorce is final. Where I live, the date of separation also comes into play. Asset calculations where done from the date of marriage to the date of separation, not of the divorce. So if I had won the lottery after separation for example, my ex wouldn’t be able to claim a portion of that.

In my case, the house was entirely in my name and bought before marriage, but she was entitled to half of the equity minus my original down payment. I agreed to sell it to her, but she could not actually buy it from me until after the divorce was final since she didn’t have enough credit or job history. She actually needed to use the divorce decree/CS payments/my credit history to get it to work. The house was sold to her at a discount equal to the amount of her share of the equity.

If I sold her the house before the divorce was final, there is no way she could claim any cash from the house sale without me also claiming that I still own part of the house. She wouldn’t be able to have it both ways. I’m sure I would have been on the hook for providing financial support during the separation though, since we are still married. Then again, baring a court order, I could live in that house if I wanted to. Really, unless your selling the house to a 3rd party, keep it simple by including the house in the settlement.

As far as retirement goes, I kept most of it. We had significant credit card debt and I opted to take all of it in exchange for keeping my retirement. I had heard that debt collectors don’t really care about who owns what debt from divorce decrees, and since I knew I couldn’t trust her to pay her share, I’d probably get hounded for the full amount anyway, while damaging my credit rating at the same time. I got lucky (in a way) as a relative passed away a couple years later and the inheritance wiped away the debt.

I think the most important thing is to find a lawyer that’s a heartless asshole. You don’t want a lawyer that’s going to cave in to her being a woman, or give a s~~~ about what’s going to happen to her after the divorce. A woman lawyer maybe a good option here, as they certainly can be a heartless bitch. That’s the route I took and have no complaints.

Ok. Then do it.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

narwhal wrote:

My divorce settlement involved a house as well. I think it’s almost always going to be best to include it in the settlement. If nobody wants the house, you can sell early, but then it’s going to be complicated purchasing another home until the divorce is final. Where I live, the date of separation also comes into play. Asset calculations where done from the date of marriage to the date of separation, not of the divorce. So if I had won the lottery after separation for example, my ex wouldn’t be able to claim a portion of that.

In my case, the house was entirely in my name and bought before marriage, but she was entitled to half of the equity minus my original down payment. I agreed to sell it to her, but she could not actually buy it from me until after the divorce was final since she didn’t have enough credit or job history. She actually needed to use the divorce decree/CS payments/my credit history to get it to work. The house was sold to her at a discount equal to the amount of her share of the equity.

If I sold her the house before the divorce was final, there is no way she could claim any cash from the house sale without me also claiming that I still own part of the house. She wouldn’t be able to have it both ways. I’m sure I would have been on the hook for providing financial support during the separation though, since we are still married. Then again, baring a court order, I could live in that house if I wanted to. Really, unless your selling the house to a 3rd party, keep it simple by including the house in the settlement.

As far as retirement goes, I kept most of it. We had significant credit card debt and I opted to take all of it in exchange for keeping my retirement. I had heard that debt collectors don’t really care about who owns what debt from divorce decrees, and since I knew I couldn’t trust her to pay her share, I’d probably get hounded for the full amount anyway, while damaging my credit rating at the same time. I got lucky (in a way) as a relative passed away a couple years later and the inheritance wiped away the debt.

I think the most important thing is to find a lawyer that’s a heartless asshole. You don’t want a lawyer that’s going to cave in to her being a woman, or give a s~~~ about what’s going to happen to her after the divorce. A woman lawyer maybe a good option here, as they certainly can be a heartless bitch. That’s the route I took and have no complaints.

Great stuff here for mulling over, I will have to think about these things.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

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