What was the Straw?

[kagoshimachrisParticipant 32]

Hi, I’m a married man currently on the cusp of leaving my wife of 12 years. About 4 years ago I ran out of f~~~s to give, regarding the wife, and in thinking about what I want out of life, I came to the realization that a relationship isn’t worth the effort and that’s how I came to MGTOW. It was kind of like the movie Office Spaces when the guy just says he doesn’t want to work any more so he’s not going to go. I’ve spent the last year with my wife promising to change her ways with the change only lasting a couple of days. The straw that finally broke the camel’s back for me, although I probably should have learned my lesson sooner, was, in the dark, tripping over her massive mountain of shoes she keeps in our narrow entry way.

It seems trivial but I have a large collection of videos of her violent outbursts. Videos of her putting her own head through the walls and I have a toe that doesn’t bend because I step on the broken glass of a cup she threw at me. Seeing all those videos on youtube of women going into beast-mode made me realize that probably all men have a collection of videos like that.

Anyways what I’d like to know is, what was the straw that made you take the red pill?

Thanks

[RoyDalParticipant]

You had me at “violent outbursts.” I put up with a lot. I never put up with violence directed at my person. I studied too much jiu-jitsu to be complacent living with anyone who was into violence.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[kagoshimachrisParticipant 32]

RoyDal wrote:

You had me at “violent outbursts.” I put up with a lot. I never put up with violence directed at my person. I studied too much jiu-jitsu to be complacent living with anyone who was into violence.

To be certain, I spent eight years as a medic with different infantry units. The fact that she wanted to square off with me indicates how insane she is. I’m living in Japan now and had visa issues at the time. Now I have a permanent residency visa and don’t have to take s~~~ any more.

I am curious though about how different men can to take the redpill.

BTW do you play chess online anywhere? I play over at chess.com

[Anonymous 18]

Congrats for taking the big decision. Her violent outbursts hopefully would make it easier to look past the crocodile tears if she is so inspired to give you a performance.

Regardless, welcome brother.

kagoshimachris wrote:

I am curious though about how different men can care to take the redpill.

Is that what you meant?

[kagoshimachrisParticipant 32]

Anonymous wrote:

Congrats for taking the big decision. Her violent outbursts hopefully would make it easier to look past the crocodile tears if she is so inspired to give you a performance.
Regardless, welcome brother.

kagoshimachris wrote:

I am curious though about how different men can care to take the redpill.

Is that what you meant?

Thanks for the welcome… the water works are indeed on and ineffective.

I didn’t really mean either can or care (it’s a mistake on my part for not proofreading my own s~~~), I want to hear stories of how people came to the red pill. I’ve heard Tom Leykis talk about always being right and I really like that thought.

[Anonymous 18]

For me personally the seeds were there from way back when.

The common denominator is perhaps field experience just like yours.

Theoretically men are trained (and boy are we ever deceived) to deal with girls and women by being nice and supportive. At one point or another I realized it’s only to maximize women’s own benefits perpetuated by the tribalistic gynocentric terrorist organizations. Ones that don’t like freedom of speech. And every time a man loses his children and house they yell “Allah Hu patriarchy”. I digress. If she pleases to date the popular guy she does so. If she decides to marry the rich nerd later in life she does so. If the bad boy appeal is more than her husband’s commitment she cheats so.

So basically after realizing that my role as a man in our society is to fulfil her ever so transient ‘her feels’ moments of hormonal stipulations while having no long term benefits but serious consequences if she decides bad boy Johnny helps her feel secure, I decided to stop being a mule.

I was surprised at first that the disease is widespread but glad thereafter to learn that there are men trying to sort this s~~~ out. Like men do.

Now I wish I had never listened to what society said about what girls desire. It was like learning about the Roman Empire. Just an idea that perhaps existed for real. But nothing of use to me.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

kagoshimachris wrote:

I’ve spent the last year with my wife promising to change her ways with the change only lasting a couple of days.

This was it for me. It was a cyclic thing. I would get fed up, tell her I had enough, she would ask what it was that I wanted (In a way that implied that I was a complicated and cryptic person), I would tell her, then she would modify her behavior briefly.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[kagoshimachrisParticipant 32]

Anonymous wrote:

Congrats for taking the big decision. Her violent outbursts hopefully would make it easier to look past the crocodile tears if she is so inspired to give you a performance.
Regardless, welcome brother.

kagoshimachris wrote:

I am curious though about how different men can care to take the redpill.

Is that what you meant?

Anonymous wrote:

Congrats for taking the big decision. Her violent outbursts hopefully would make it easier to look past the crocodile tears if she is so inspired to give you a performance.
Regardless, welcome brother.

kagoshimachris wrote:

I am curious though about how different men can care to take the redpill.

Is that what you meant?

Thanks for the welcome… the water works are indeed on and ineffective.

I didn’t really mean either can or care (it’s a mistake on my part for not proofreading my own s~~~), I want to hear stories of how people came to the red pill. I’ve heard Tom Leykis talk about always being right and I really like that thought.

[Dark KenshiParticipant 2132]

kagoshimachris wrote:

iLearn wrote:

Congrats for taking the big decision. Her violent outbursts hopefully would make it easier to look past the crocodile tears if she is so inspired to give you a performance.Regardless, welcome brother.

kagoshimachris wrote:

I am curious though about how different men can care to take the redpill.

Is that what you meant?

Thanks for the welcome… the water works are indeed on and ineffective.
I didn’t really mean either can or care (it’s a mistake on my part for not proofreading my own s~~~), I want to hear stories of how people came to the red pill. I’ve heard Tom Leykis talk about always being right and I really like that thought.

The best way to do that is by reading the “Introductions” forum, my brother.

Every story of how every man here took the red pill is in there. Feel free to browse it, to post questions and to comment in each one of them, if you like.

"Young was I once, I walked alone, and bewildered seemed in the way; then I found me another and rich I thought me, for man is the joy of man." Odin, Hàvamàl, stanza 47.

[Deus Ex MachinaParticipant 1068]

Welp, for me, long story short. My ex was physically abusive (punched in the jaw, really hard twice) stabbed with a pair of scissors, then was verbally abused, couldn’t really do much because most often times, the law is never on our side. Once she started the abuse, it was pretty much done for me, oh and she was f~~~ing another guy behind my back.

"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

[JimboParticipant 162]

Mine has been several over the years. I guess the one that broke the camel’s back on the marriage I was in a decade ago was when I was accused of breaking in to my now ex-wife’s ex husband’s car when I was in Iraq.

[JimboParticipant 162]

Deus Ex Machina wrote:

Welp, for me, long story short. My ex was physically abusive (punched in the jaw, really hard twice) stabbed with a pair of scissors, then was verbally abused, couldn’t really do much because most often times, the law is never on our side. Once she started the abuse, it was pretty much done for me, oh and she was f~~~ing another guy behind my back.

It sounds a little like my ex, though my ex-wife couldn’t hit for s~~~. What p~~~es them off the worse is when you laugh at them afterwards and say: “Really? Is that all you have.”

[Masculine_ManParticipant 2735]

This is an interesting topic indeed. To be honest, there was no final straw. There was fear of leaving marriage, going through a divorce and starting all over. It’s also important to note the old saying, “misery loves company” statement which also applies in married and your friends who are also married which happen to hear your bitches moans and complaints. I’ll make this as shot as possible but this is what i went through. At the young age of 28 I had been dating a really cool chick and we decided to get married because she enhanced my happiness, the sex was great, and I felt she was a responsible adult. She also had a child from a previous relationship. The next point I would like to make is this, I IGNORED THE DAMN WARNING SIGNS. She was irrational, lazy, a man hater, and an irresponsible adult.

Let’s start with her being irrational. She did not take responsibility for her actions. There was a week which I helped her get an in state driver’s license which involved her showing proof of insurance, registration etc. I TOLD THIS CHILDISH BITCH TO PUT HER DOCUMENTS BACK IN HER CAR WHERE IT BELONGED AFTERWORD. She was coming up to visit me and I was on a military installation at the time. This was pre googlemaps so she called and asked for directions. She lived a little over an hour away and by this time was more than halfway to my location. I told her the gate guards will want to see her insurance and proof of registration. Of course she didn’t put those documents back in her car when I helped her previously with her license. So guess what, this dumb f~~~ing c~~~, became mad at me and asks me in an angry tone, “Why the f~~~ didn’t you tell me I needed my registration and insurance.” My retort was, I’m sorry I thought state law covered that. That was the first sign.

Second sign I noticed is she was very vain, but she did not exercise, did not enjoy exercising, and ate poorly. She was able to stay skinny by a series of eating disorders, which involved starvation, puking, or laxatives. Prior to being married I was at the peak of fitness (I’m a prior personal trainer). I ate clean, worked out regularly and enjoyed being fit. She saw this as threatening especially since other women checked me out constantly. Her insecurities and jealousy were apparent.

Next, her finances were always suspect. I knew she had bad credit because she was paying a high interest rate on her piece of s~~~ used car. I never asked the details because I thought it was rude (not anymore). When we had gotten married, I came into the relationship with about 20k in savings and she came in with her last f~~~ing pay check. That should’ve warned me about her financial responsibility but i chose to ignore it. She did make a decent wage (about 80K a year) and with what I made i figured we could have a comfortable living.

The next warning sign I saw was with her overweight pussified kid. He was well behaved but he was such a f~~~ing pussy it was unreal. Played baseball but sucked real bad. Weak, slow, no alpha traits whatsoever. I made a vow I was going to make less of a girl of him than he already was. Developed a workout plan, got rid of all the junk food in the house and amazingly he got slim within a year but, she started to get fat.

So getting to the straw that broke the camel’s back, stemmed from a lot of small issues that quickly added up. I did not want to buy a house, but she wanted to buy (this is a long story in itself). We decided to buy it because we could afford it. Fast forward to a year, housing market crashed, job market crashed, and she hates her job and wants to find another. Keep in mind we still had a 3,000 a month mortgage and no backup plan. Needless to say, she worked out a slimy deal with her employer to get terminated so she can collect unemployment. She tried to assure me by saying this was temporary and she’d only be out of work for one month worse case three months. SHE WAS UNEMPLOYED FOR ONE YEAR AND 9 MONTHS. At this time, I went through a bad state and I started drinking heavily, not exercising and eating like s~~~. I had gotten out of shape and hated what I became. (Btw she was in charge of all the finances, Yes I know big mistake). So here we are, cant make the house payment, dipping into savings because she cant hold up her end of the bargain and does she aggressively look for a job? NO. Even her mother made excuses for her such as shes been working since 14 blah blah she needs a break. We even went to marriage counseling and this feminist bitch had the nerve to say, “if she doesn’t want to work isn’t that her choice?” I lost it and told the bitch to get bent. I went out of town for an extended period and told her she needs to have a job by the time i get back or I’m getting divorced. She didn’t like the ultimatum and decided to serve me separation papers. She moved out of the house, (by law this is abandonment) drained half the savings took everything worth of value and left me with the upside down value house. Fortunately, the s~~~ty housing market was a blessing. She did not like the idea we were upside down 60k on the house so I convinced her to sign the whole thing over to me. We did not have kids together, she was gainfully employed, so there was no alimony nor was there child support.

The initial separation, divorce, taking the house, finding roommates, was difficult at first because there was so much stacked against me. I almost lost it all and was able to save the house control the finances and not let me credit suffer. By this time she wanted to get back with me after she racked up 13K in credit card debt and had bill collectors calling her. I told her it would not happen and she better move on. I finally was able to get in better shape, I have my personal freedom, and every married guy I know is envious of my situation. In fact, some have said, I got off light.

My advice to anyone, do not listen to the advice of other married men, they are slaves. They will tell you “it’s cheaper to keep her.” It is not. Your freedom is priceless. Crabs pull other crabs down. One last thing, if you are thinking about divorce, your marriage is over.

Good luck.

If it costs you your peace of mind, then it is too expensive.

[Dark KenshiParticipant 2132]

Again, the truth has been spoken.

Listen to it, new fellow brothers!

Amazing story Masculine Man!

This should be the textbook definition of DON’T IGNORE THE CRAZY AND THE RED FLAGS!

Greetings to you, and I am gladi you’ve made it out of that hell alive and well, brother.

"Young was I once, I walked alone, and bewildered seemed in the way; then I found me another and rich I thought me, for man is the joy of man." Odin, Hàvamàl, stanza 47.

[StanAndreasParticipant 160]

For me, it wasn’t a straw being added, but the bales being lifted. My wife moved out, and my life got immediately better, and I noticed all the things I didn’t miss. So I told her not to come back.

OP, after all your nightmarish experience, I wonder how you are still ‘on the cusp,’ and what will it take to push you down the other side? Do it, man. Make your break for freedom before someone gets seriously physically hurt.

+1 on @darkkenshi‘s suggestion to read the Introductions. Any time you need a dose of Red Pill, read a few of those!

Safety rules: All guns are loaded. All knives are sharp. All stoves are hot. All women are like that.

[WolfParticipant 890]

Masculine_Man wrote:

The next point I would like to make is this, I IGNORED THE DAMN WARNING SIGNS. She was irrational, lazy, a man hater, and an irresponsible adult.

I think this is a common mistake amongst us, and I’m guilty of it. For the younger brothers here: heed it! Pay attention to the warning signs and get the f~~~ out of dodge early.

If you’re still interested in dating women, and maybe even forming a relationship, pay attention to her history. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If you learn about a lot of bulls~~~ in her past, then get rid of her, because that bulls~~~ will surface again when she has her hooks into you.

What’s the straw that broke the camel’s back for me? After several years of dealing with her bulls~~~ and being a safety net for her, she says to me “you need to do more”. Those five words were the last straw for me.

I won’t get into all the details, but she did stop working during our last year together because she was chronically tired. She had no money, but I refused to pay her bills, so they went into collections. She couldn’t contribute to my household utilities, so I paid it all. And this was done for her and her child from a previous relationship.

A typical day for me would be to come home from work to find her still in bed. She would be too tired to get out of bed, so I would tidy the house and make sure supper was cooked for me and her son. I also made sure that her son followed his routine such as homework and stuff.

She essentially gave up on life, which created a lot of stress for me. When she said to me, “you need to do more”, that was it for me! She left the same day. We weren’t married, so there was no division of my assets, and the break up went pretty smooth. When I think back on it, if we were married, I would have been f~~~ed!

[GrumpyParticipant]

For me, the last straw was realizing that I let her pile on s~~~ covered straw bales the entire time.
Constant s~~~ tests, her playing the victim, demonizing me behind my back, her trying to dominate the relations~~~, while never adding any real benefit to it.
It was pretty shocking when I was informed about all the s~~~ this trash was doing and saying, by the men in my community. Even more brutal and shocking when the women staring informing me of s~~~.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[TaxGuyParticipant]

One of the final nails in the coffin for me was when our oldest daughter went to sixth grade camp. She has a prescription medicine and we had to give it to the school to send with her 3 hours away. They forget to send it with the bus.

My solution was to take the afternoon off work and drive the medicine to her. The ex has the woman at the school in tears, gets our doctor to send a prescription to a grocery store on the drive and have the bus driver pick it up. After much yelling and being a bitch to deal with, they did it for her.

When we get home that night she is p~~~ed at me for not taking care of it. I told her I was actually impressed that she could pull that off, and that we obviously don’t solve problems the same. But if you know that and use that information, it actually makes us a stronger team. Her response: “I guess that’s the difference between you and me. I never thought of us as a team.”

What I realized as I thought about it was that my first instinct was to just take care of it myself, BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE BACKING ME UP. I was totally on my own in that relationship and had been trained to not even ask for help. Which is actually fine by me, but it made her totally expendable. I wasn’t giving up anything with her because it was always all about her.

And women wonder where all the good men are…………

Order the good wine

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

1) My XW got fired from her retail job for sexual misconduct. Her explanation was: my boss told me to flirt with my coworker so he could fire him, but instead – he double-crossed me and fired us both.

2) Week later I my buddy tells me that his ex-girlfriend, who was friends with my XW – told him she was disgusted and amazed how my XW was BRAGGING (!!!) to her she had two boyfriends on the side. Her explanation? – “Sure, believe everything your drug-addicted friends tell you”

I knew it was all over before then, but still tried to salvage things because of our daughter. Infidelity was the last straw. But her BRAGGING to her friends about it – this has really put the last nail in the coffin.

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[Toby27Participant 0]

My last straw was when my ex demanded I buy all the food for the house hold. I was paying every single bill such includes morgage, utilities, car payment. You see i had 3 step kids with her and she got over 1200 a month in child support.
I’m reality women dont spend that money on the kids. Thank God i got out after 2 years 38th no kids of my own.

[Author]

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