Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › What are the True Divorce Statistics?
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Nero 3 years, 1 month ago.
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What do you guys think of this? During my own divorce while reading up on stuff I read that the divorce rate of first marriages are over 50%, like 50.7%. Second marriages jump up to 75% ending in divorce. Then progresses up from there, but can’t exceed 100%. Now a friend of mine who was divorced this year and I have gone back and forth discussing this. Both of us agree that we think something is wrong here and the actual rate must be higher than approximately 50% of first marriages ending in divorce.
I bring this up because I noticed yesterday this video from Traversable MGTOW.
Now he is in agreement that the actual rate is higher but I’m just not sure about his math. Something doesn’t seem right.
So just googling it I came across some interesting articles:
about-that-50-divorce-rate-it-simply-isnt-true-it-never-was
What is the Actual US Divorce Rate and Risk?
So does anyone have any insight/thoughts?
Personally, I rely more heavily on personal observation than statistics. And out of the kids I knew in school and growing up… later in my 20s and beyond, I was one of the ONLY kids with 2 married parents out of my social circle(s).
(excluding re-married parents. Lots of them also had “step” parents)
Conversely (and curiously) almost all of my significant “girlfriends” had two married parents – except one.
The “divorce statistic” I was observing around me was FAR TOO HIGH for my liking. I don’t believe in divorce, so just ONE is unacceptable. Even my parents went though a time when they discussed splitting. But she stayed because of their vows. They went together like peas and carrots and even loved conflict in part. I was more irritated by their petty bickering than they were.
So I learned even non-divorced marriages don’t mean they “worked”.
Observe some more:
• Considering many woman are capable of pretending to be “happily married while dreaming of divorce” I would also want no part of that – on any level. To hear my bride speaking about me that way to others would get her kicked out into the street.
• Women also stay in bad relationships for the money.
• Research also finds women feel happy when their husband or partner is upset, which also explained where fights from nowhere seemed to come from.
• Plus further testimony I Wish My Husband Were The Love Of My Life but he isn’t.
• …. ad of course, the “I guess you’ll do” attitude was EVERYWHERE when I watched exes marry THE VERY NEXT GUY. How was that possible? I never met a truly marriageable one who I thought would be a suitable wife/mother to build a future with. But they married the very NEXT one?
• Then I saw a dialogue between two women where one of them said “when it comes to marriage, one man is as good as the next”.
Creepy.
My personal experience can relate to all of the above to some degree, and I have seen the dynamic of other married couples which was enough to put me off on its own. The treatment I have seen some married men tolerate is too far from my comprehension. I spit out any belittling, or nagging & controlling behavior like it’s poisonous.
So I don’t need “divorce statistics”.
20%. 50%. 75% of 3rd marriages… i don’t give a f~~~.I dont’ need to know what % of grenades won’t (or will) explode in my face. I’m not pulling the pin on a grenade when I don’t have control of the outcome. And a “marriage” is not something I wan’t to “control” anyway. Every day she is there is because she WANTS to be – or the door is open and she can LEAVE. I don’t want to know she is there for any other reason.
“Divorce statistics” can lick me where I s~~~.
They don’t mean s~~~ anyway.What do you guys think of this?
Even if the divorce rate were 1%, it’s hardly an incentive.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Even if the divorce rate were 1%, it’s hardly an incentive.
With today’s women…this is very true. Even if I didn’t have to worry about divorce rape, would I really want to be married to some post wall carousel rider who causes me lot’s of stress and drama I simply don’t have as a single dude? Nope.
Personally, I rely more heavily on personal observation than statistics. And out of the kids I knew in school and growing up… later in my 20s and beyond, I was one of the ONLY kids with 2 married parents out of my social circle(s).
(excluding re-married parents. Lots of them also had “step” parents)
Conversely (and curiously) almost all of my significant “girlfriends” had two married parents – except one.
The “divorce statistic” I was observing around me was FAR TOO HIGH for my liking. I don’t believe in divorce, so just ONE is unacceptable. Even my parents went though a time when they discussed splitting. But she stayed because of their vows. They went together like peas and carrots and even loved conflict in part. I was more irritated by their petty bickering than they were.
So I learned even non-divorced marriages don’t mean they “worked”.
Observe some more:
• Considering many woman are capable of pretending to be “happily married while dreaming of divorce” I would also want no part of that – on any level. To hear my bride speaking about me that way to others would get her kicked out into the street.
• Women also stay in bad relationships for the money.
• Research also finds women feel happy when their husband or partner is upset, which also explained where fights from nowhere seemed to come from.
• Plus further testimony I Wish My Husband Were The Love Of My Life but he isn’t.
• …. ad of course, the “I guess you’ll do” attitude was EVERYWHERE when I watched exes marry THE VERY NEXT GUY. How was that possible? I never met a truly marriageable one who I thought would be a suitable wife/mother to build a future with. But they married the very NEXT one?
• Then I saw a dialogue between two women where one of them said “when it comes to marriage, one man is as good as the next”.
Creepy.
My personal experience can relate to all of the above to some degree, and I have seen the dynamic of other married couples which was enough to put me off on its own. The treatment I have seen some married men tolerate is too far from my comprehension. I spit out any belittling, or nagging & controlling behavior like it’s poisonous.
So I don’t need “divorce statistics”.
20%. 50%. 75% of 3rd marriages… i don’t give a f~~~.I dont’ need to know what % of grenades won’t (or will) explode in my face. I’m not pulling the pin on a grenade when I don’t have control of the outcome. And a “marriage” is not something I wan’t to “control” anyway. Every day she is there is because she WANTS to be – or the door is open and she can LEAVE. I don’t want to know she is there for any other reason.
“Divorce statistics” can lick me where I s~~~.
They don’t mean s~~~ anyway.What do you guys think of this?
Even if the divorce rate were 1%, it’s hardly an incentive.
Your response is excellent KM, but I can’t help but be curious about the actual math and numbers. I guess that’s just part of who I am. I’ve suspected for a while there is some kind of data manipulation going on there.
But I also am curious because in talking to young men when I try to dispense red pills I have cited the “50% end in divorce” stat, which may not be accurate. And I like to try to present verifiable evidence when I can with a real basis that I can point to. Anecdotal evidence is powerful, and I am reluctant to trust statistics generally (or I always question how the data could be manipulated) but it is a way of presenting data to people in a form they can digest.
The statistics are of course faulty, just like unemployment numbers get manipulated.
The only things young men in your counsel need to know is that the porn star sex stops at the same time that she thinks she gets to tell you what to do with your time not spent at work
If that isn’t enough of a red pill ask him if he’d f~~~ her mom, because in 25 years he will be.
From my circle of friend 28 years ago, there are a handful still married. The stats tend to reflect likelihood over a certain period of time so KM’s post shows that sometimes the divorce hasn’t happened YET.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
Your response is excellent KM, but I can’t help but be curious about the actual math and numbers. I guess that’s just part of who I am
Instead of being curious about the macro percentage for divorces, I think what’s important to keep in mind is what is your own rate of divorce ?
For example, you’re divorced therefore you’re at 100 % divorce rate, and if you were to get re-married you would probably be a whole lot closer to 100% divorce then any other number. These numbers are meaningful, and great personal lil red pill reminders.
Personally, I’m still enslaved, but I have about a 95% probability to be divorced when the youngest is a senior in high school if not before. I leave a 5% probability that I may die before I have the opportunity to be divorced. Therefore, I’m pretty confident that ANY potential second marriages would lead me to a 100% divorce rate as well.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
And out of the kids I knew in school and growing up… later in my 20s and beyond, I was one of the ONLY kids with 2 married parents out of my social circle(s).
Same here, growing up in the late 70’s most of my buddys were from divorced families. I was actually jealous, as the parents competed for their affection by buying lots of gifts that they would show off at school. Just shows how I knew the value of nothing at that age.
It's Time to get Wise
• …. ad of course, the “I guess you’ll do” attitude was EVERYWHERE when I watched exes marry THE VERY NEXT GUY. How was that possible? I never met a truly marriageable one who I thought would be a suitable wife/mother to build a future with. But they married the very NEXT one?
One man’s money spends just as good as the next one’s. They aren’t marrying the man, they are marrying the resource. It doesn’t matter what the last name is just as long as he is related to a Grant or Franklin.
Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.
Hi JH
Take this with a healthy dose of skepticism
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/state_divorce_rates_90_95_and_99-14.pdf
Your response is excellent KM, but I can’t help but be curious about the actual math and numbers. I guess that’s just part of who I am
Instead of being curious about the macro percentage for divorces, I think what’s important to keep in mind is what is your own rate of divorce ?
For example, you’re divorced therefore you’re at 100 % divorce rate, and if you were to get re-married you would probably be a whole lot closer to 100% divorce then any other number. These numbers are meaningful, and great personal lil red pill reminders.
Personally, I’m still enslaved, but I have about a 95% probability to be divorced when the youngest is a senior in high school if not before. I leave a 5% probability that I may die before I have the opportunity to be divorced. Therefore, I’m pretty confident that ANY potential second marriages would lead me to a 100% divorce rate as well.
You know this is interesting. I don’t know if I mentioned it before but in my parents business (that I’m working towards taking over) my mother commented recently that this was ‘the year of divorce’ as so many clients that they had known for 20-30 years were getting divorced. So middle-aged couples. One man served his wife the month after their youngest son graduated from University. My mother was confused. I told her honestly that several men I’ve talked to have told me that was their plan. Wait until the kids are grown and independent and then leave. She was pretty shocked but she’s from a different time.
She did say from what she’s gathered it was the men leaving the women. Some had affairs some did not. They just wanted out. A common theme being the wife spent too much money and didn’t save, didn’t appreciate the men, treated them poorly.
Interesting. But I do think it’s best to end it and get out as early as possible. Like my dad told me during my divorce the best thing for my sons was to have a dad who was alive and able to be there for them when they needed me down the road. I think the earlier you get out the easier it will be to recover (and I don’t think it’s EVER really ‘easy’).
Marriage rate: 6.9 per 1,000 total population
Divorce rate: 3.2 per 1,000 populationWhen they say 6.9 per 1000, what do they mean exactly, only 6.9 out of a thousand people get married? I never did understand how to read stats presented in this way.
Marriage: About as appealing as wood-chipper diving.
But I do think it’s best to end it and get out as early as possible.
It really depends on each man’s circumstances.
my mother commented recently that this was ‘the year of divorce’ as so many clients that they had known for 20-30 years were getting divorced. So middle-aged couples.
Due to a myriad of reason’s (IE: child suport for multiple young children, Alimony, losing parental rights in divorce court ETC. ETC.) many men wait it out until their children are old enough to be young adults.
I think the earlier you get out the easier it will be to recover (and I don’t think it’s EVER really ‘easy’).
There are no easy decisions for any of us.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
When they say 6.9 per 1000, what do they mean exactly, only 6.9 out of a thousand people get married? I never did understand how to read stats presented in this way.
Yes that is what they mean.
The data is unclear though.
Population says total (321M) not adults (297M) – including migrants (2M / y)
There is no demographics nor eduational data – which may show marriage among more white collar and older men to younger women.
Younger men (<30) would show up as a diminishing percentage.
No first or second marriages – so the actual number of people is most likely lesser.
Divorces are usually ‘first time’ as I believe not a significant number get divorced twice.There most likely are stats for these as well 🙂
IMHO
When someone says “50% of marriages end in divorce”, what they are really saying is “a marriage may or may not last a lifetime”. That’s all, the words just get stated in a fashion to elicit an emotional response which will cloud your thinking.Just like everything else in life there is always a chance of failure.
When looking at “statistics”, one has to consider the data table that the supporting information is being pulled from.
Do they lump all divorces together?
First/Second/ or more divorce times included? (Liz Taylor comes to mind)What is the criteria for the term divorce?
Is LTR/ common law/same sex marriage included?
Does paying “support” of any kind qualify?
Are the financial judgements awarded 10- 50 years after a divorce (a revisited divorce settlement) included? and counted as another individual divorce?Personally
I have been legally married and divorced twice.
Does that mean I have a 200% failure rate or just 100%?
When my last LTR ended, and I left with what I could carry, and started over.
Does that count as a divorce? Does that make my statistic 300% or does it remain at 100%.Every man I know and remember, has been married at least once.
(that’s roughly 850 men, or a pocket battle group)
“Has been” is the qualifying statement, meaning that (with the exception of 30 of the men) they have all been divorced at least once as well.
So that puts my statistic at approximately 96.47% divorce rate (30 out of 850 stayed married to their first wife).Now using the same table of data.
Were I too include those who were in LTR/Common Law/Married/Married and divorced a second time, and each successive divorce as its own singular “divorce”.
That would skew the results to over 150% divorce rate of the original 850 men.Statistics can be used to say whatever you wish others to hear.
I guess when I say “Meh….You pays your dime, you takes your chances” I’m being flippant about the chances of a relationship of any sort working or not working (50/50).
There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it
But I do think it’s best to end it and get out as early as possible.
It really depends on each man’s circumstances.
my mother commented recently that this was ‘the year of divorce’ as so many clients that they had known for 20-30 years were getting divorced. So middle-aged couples.
Due to a myriad of reason’s (IE: child suport for multiple young children, Alimony, losing parental rights in divorce court ETC. ETC.) many men wait it out until their children are old enough to be young adults.
I think the earlier you get out the easier it will be to recover (and I don’t think it’s EVER really ‘easy’).
There are no easy decisions for any of us.
Your points are valid Awakened and I did not mean to make light of these points. My point being I think the longer you are married the more alimony will have to be paid upon separation and since men are the ones who generally accumulate assets, the more of these assets you will have to surrender in divorce.
Plus the fact if a man is miserable as I was; in retrospect I regret trying to make it work and staying ‘for my kids’ because my relationship with them an my life has just keeps improving since divorcing.
But again as you say, each man’s situation is different.
I think what the 50 year stats, the functional adulthood of a man, would indicate that if the divorce was initiated before 15 years it has a better chance of being initiated by the wife and with decreasing time left the rational man cuts the dead weight after the 15 year mark.
He’s likely been loyal, attentive, and earned for her but knows he could be farther along if he hadn’t been such a “good man” like all the ladies are looking for. Since he no longer gets any at home, and who would want what’s being offered; he decides to get f~~~ed in family court even though it means starting almost completely over.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
Good video, I have always felt the divorce rate is higher that 50%.
If the number was say 60% which is low according to the video , I think fewer men would marry.
"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."
This publication may be a good starting point. Statistics should always b used with a large dose of skepticism as the method and bias of the sampling process is unknown.
Something very important before you look at this – this document only breaks down the percentages for those already married.
That is – if a chart says 60% of white women are married this refers to 60% of the total married data already available (i.e. 60% of 6.9 per 1000 = 4.2% per 1000). It is NOT about total population.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_022.pdf
In essence the breakdown appears to be like this (using the 1995 % data in the manual and 2016 marriage figures).
Total marriages : 6.9 per 1000 pop.
Total divorces : 3.2 per 1000 pop.
First marriages : 75% of total marriages
Second marriages : 70% of first divorces
Second divorces : 40% of second marriagesLet us look at this more closely:
First marriages : 5.2 per 1000 pop.
Second marriages : 1.7 per 1000 pop.
First divorces : 2.4 per 1000 pop.
Second divorces : 0.7 per 1000 pop.
Therefore% first divorces = 46% of first marriages (1995 probability)
% all divorces against all married = 60% (1995 probability)Hope this helps. This is just my take.
The data is available for anyone to draw his own conclusions.Good video, I have always felt the divorce rate is higher that 50%.
If the number was say 60% which is low according to the video , I think fewer men would marry.
absolutely. (marriage aside) 50/50 is a gamble that many people understand. A mere coin toss. It seems like a safe bet, even though it is not. If they said 60% of marriages fail, people would quickly start to think different about it. That’s why the 50% myth is so pushed. Its total bulls~~~ and I don’t believe it for a second.
The divorce rate is not as critical as what the married infidelity rate is if it were calculated.
Even if the divorce rate was 2%.
That would mean nothing if in the remaining 98% of marriages:
Every wife eventually cheated, but the marriages stayed intact.
Knowing what percentage of marriages end in a divorce is only a remote indicator.
More importantly:
What is going on in the marriages that do not end in divorce:
Infidelity
Financial Slavery
Mental & Psychological Torture (systematically over the course of years)
Living a lie within the shell of a charade.
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