Hi,
I grew up with a sister who needed a new heart. My family went public and they got their wish. I saw a lot as a baby and in my childhood. One trip to Disney World felt whole, then the next something was missing. Dad. I got the chance to meet my father, now as a man, and shake his hand. I drove 100 miles it really wasn’t far away. I asked why he didn’t just drive to say hi once in awhile, but he told me the courts were crazy. He was in depression, and drinking heavily. Being kicked out of his home he worked so hard for and to marry, the stress of life just got to him. He couldn’t escape his worries. He made some really bad choices and also remarried. This woman had hit the wall each year since birth, and she had two daughters with some other man. Now my mom she worked full time all her life and now she’s sick. Heart failure is a tragedy. I know my life has come from this, so I seek to push my boundaries. I want to be a better man but had no example to lead by. The men i grew up with had fathers and treated women badly. I saw the lies they’d tell these girls for access to their bodies. It made me mad so I spoke out loud and in adulthood it cost me. I thought that love was more than this. I thought patience was the highest of virtues.
My sister well she’s healthy, and so am I. My sister divorced her husband, I walked my sister down the aisle and I shook his hand at the wedding. Well for me, my high school sweetheart left me, got addicted to meth and was abused by her husband at the time while pregnant with their child. Now she is a single mother. And we never had sex despite a 4 year relationship. I had two girlfriends shortly after her that didn’t last long. It has been extremely hard for me to move forward dating after having invested so much time and energy into some one I loved so much and to see their life destroyed in so many ways. I adapted to her personality and it was good in her eyes to be this sort of metro sexual character. Though I was heavily into alternative things. I was a different person with her. I am used to being friend zoned. Especially after a passionate kiss. Woman have told me when look into my eyes, they see a sort of seriousness. Well of course, “I’m not wasting my time, are you?” I thought this is what women want with age but found out when I got older, the status I had was f~~~ boy to lots of these women. I had to deny so many. I dated women far past my age. I saw warmth in their eyes. Felt haste in their kiss. There was no passion, it was my heart I couldn’t fix. I was cold inside, the feelings I shared could not be mirrored back in a way that had meaning. She’s here now, why not have my way. No, many have before me. A woman like this clearly has no respect for herself, and clearly none for you. The only other women I thought I could love within arms length had died, her life was a mess she told me a week before we made plans to get together since high school. I miss her so much sometimes, I know I could have saved her.
A good friend of mine had a girlfriend who left him after giving birth to their daughter; for another man. My friend was a great father and supporter to this already single mother. She was lucky enough for him to have a job, buy a house, own a truck and drive his ass to work while she sat at home waiting for him to brainlessly come home each night to f~~~ her. She is a bombshell but she sat at home with her 3 year old son and no job on government aid when they first met. Watch out guys, they are out there and they have been with a ton of guys. She cried wolf to the government about the first guy she f~~~ed and got pregnant by, got free housing accommodation, food, education, you name it; until a prince charming comes and rescues her. Serious, it’s the only way these s~~~ty women and their children will even have a life outside of poverty. The women living in these homes are so unmotivated, it’s depressing. They should just put a sign up out front saying, ‘men needed’. Did I mention her son is 3 and she’s only 18 when they met. If this ever happened to me, one I would never get the children and two I would be homeless and without food. Can’t pay child support, well then I’m in jail. For being a thirsty simp. You’re damn well right I thought I knew what love was, they had it. I was seeing it before my eyes and didn’t understand why he fell for her but he did and I thought she was going to keep him. My friend became a father early in life, he was that kids father. Years had passed and they wanted to have their own child together. They were living together. Then she left him after giving birth, their together daughter wasn’t even a month old.
I do not want this to happen to me. And there is a good chance it will. I work hard for a living, I want to continue to do so. I will not have some one in a my life able to take it all away from me like that. I’m not sure I can have children when I have been what I’ve been through. It has been a rough ride up until now. I aspire to do great things and I think it will start by going mobile.
I’m here now, so I will experience what I can, peacefully. Every journey begins with a single step. This is another step forward.
We share a lot of the same goals, despite our differences at the end of the day.
Thank you all.
wh0
Varun 3 years, 7 months ago.
