Victim or 'recipient'?

[Anonymous 0]

Hello fellow recipients. I like to use the word ‘recipient’ (of domestic violence) because I refuse to use the word ‘victim’. Maybe I’m just being ultra politically correct!? Yours views on this would be appreciated.

[ChuddoxParticipant 585]

Victim implies that the person is without agency in the domestic case. After 10 years of dealing with it I can say only from personal experience (anecdotal evidence being a very weak sort when presented alone) that both parties are often very much involved in escalating situations. People cry about victim blaming, but honestly, most ‘victims’ are in bad situations because they chose to be, regardless of what anyone else says.

“Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.” - Robert E. Howard

[Anonymous 0]

both parties are often very much involved in escalating situations.

Sorry if I have not pasted your quote correctly but I am still learning. I feel your response is one-way brain washing bulls~~~. You would never hear a such a response the other way around. Get it? Consider rewashing your brain. Some men actually don’t provoke violence in any way. Even stupid mind-game bulls~~~-some men don’t do any of it.

[Anonymous 17]

For women it should be victim of domestic violence and for men it should be recipient of dosmetic violence.

[Anonymous 3]

Anonymous wrote:

some men actually don’t provoke violence in any way. Even stupid mind-game bulls~~~-some men don’t do any of it.

That was not what he said, what he said was: “most ‘victims’ are in bad situations because they chose to be”. THAT IS TRUE.

People chose, unless you are a prisoner you can always leave. What binds people to a crappy relationship is the hope that it will get better, the existence of children that you dont want to abandon, or simply the fear of being alone.

Chuddox wrote:

both parties are often very much involved in escalating situations

That is also true. My wife was pregnant and we had a fight until the point that I thought it could harm the baby. At that point I stopped fighting and just “toke it all” for the sake of my unborn child. That what when she had the licence to abuse me, and she went so far as throwing a glass of water to me in public. THAT WAS MY CHOICE! I allowed it to happen.

Obviously I started to make the math, how long would I wait until my kid was old enough to divorce her. And unfortunately I had many opportunities, some of them even with one foot outside the door, only to return “to give it another chance”.

I am ignorant regarding violence in marriage, but I would see the same mechanism working. It is easy to lay the blame on others “because we are doing the right thing”, when actually we chose to stay in the situation.
But I ask you: the right thing for whom?. For the kids maybe, even for the wife, but not certainly for us. Most times men are victims of their own willingness to sacrifice for “the right thing”.

And that sacrifice is most times useless. Yes, dad may be at home, but what a f~~~ed up family we have when dad is abused by mom?

[Anonymous 0]

Maybe I’m a pussy. I chose to end my relationship when I knew it had become hopeless. I did have an advantage though, and I acknowledge this. Yes we had children but we lived in our own houses. Thus giving us much needed space which I know would be ‘gold’ for anybody in a similar situation. She couldn’t steal my house because my family protected me from this parasite when they saw her coming. It made it easier to maintain my personal dignity, Anyway I had a bonafide Cluster ‘B’ in my world. Not hard to be normal against one of them.

[Anonymous 3]

Anonymous wrote:

Maybe I’m a pussy. I chose to end my relationship when I knew it had become hopeless

No man. This is an inversion of values. To defend oneself and stand for our dignity is not being “pussy”, the same way that sacrificing and enduring abuse because of “family” does not make us a “man”.

What is always missing is the responsibility of the woman.

It appear ALL RESPONSIBILITY is on the man’s side. It does not matter if the woman makes family life hell, it does not matter if the woman verbally abuses the man and children, it does not matter if the woman fails to do her part. EVERYTHING is on the man’s shoulders!

That is feminism. The liberation of women from all responsibility.

[Dr. SableParticipant 1064]

Feminism has adopted and hijacked word victim as their favorite description of females abused along
with many other.
Casualty may also be used instead of victim. However there is a subtle difference/contrast between victim and casualty, casualty being more suitable for a person suffering or dying in a war zone for example.
Saying that, I don’t mind hearing or reading that word from a male but I detest it when it comes
out of a female cakeholle.

Zero Tolerance

[Anonymous 42]

I don’t do sociopath violence (neurotic women). Violent women are worst of all psychotic women, they’re mean, nasty, and bipolar. They’ll work EVERYTHING to their advantage with a mindset rooted in narcissism.

Most of them dwell in U.S., U.K., Australia, Germany, India, and throughout the Western World, they’re like spoiled little children the scream, slap, scratch, and kick when they don’t get their fantasied way.

They’re not hard to spot, they’re on every channel, and in every government. Day and night they’re always emasculating men, exalting women, and ignoring every reality along the way. They’re even nominating and nutty bitter old man hating hag that’s f~~~ up everything, accomplished nothing, and violated national security. Is that enough proof?

[Anonymous 1]

Anonymous wrote:

Some men actually don’t provoke violence any way. Even stupid mind-game bulls~~~-some men don’t do any of it.

If you’re daft enough to remain in a relationship with a violent c~~~ then you are in some sense, contributing.

Change doesn’t come about until personal responsibility is taken.

I was in a relationship with a volotile, cluster B c~~~. I took on board, that if I remain in the relationship then there is no one else to blame, but myself when mount etna errupts once more.

I’m nobody’s victim.

[Author]

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