Validation

[GeraldParticipant 3620]

The definition most pertinent to today’s society for validation is “recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile”. Nearly everyone remembers being little or has seen little children chasing their parents going “mommy, mommy, mommy” or “daddy, daddy, daddy” and seen the exasperated parent pay attention to whatever the child thinks is a great accomplishment. Often these things are trivial and are just attention seeking, but our society has grown this process into a 24/7 source of tribulation.

Validation is a disease.

I know I’m guilty of it, I seek it, I thrive on it… everyone gets an ego boost from hearing ‘good job’ or ‘thats great’ when they do something well. I have to assume everyone enjoys hearing that they are special or unique.

The disease part of validation is that it feeds the ego, which needs more and more feeding, especially when what is being fed to it is useless.

Watching a woman today at work come out of the bathroom as I walked down the hall just reinforced this. As she exited the bathroom she pulled out her small validation device, instantly checked her hair in it, smiled and snapped a photo and posted it as she passed me.

I admit I’ve been pulled into the facebook validation trap previously, and occasionally still. I post things that are trivial, hoping someone will LOL or comment, looking for that special feeling where people recognize me or acknowledge me. Is this because of the fact that in the 80’s we started raising children and adults to sit in front of devices and not have interaction? But thinking back, even as a kid in the 80’s when we played outside with the neighborhood kids, we sought validation… which makes me think this is an issue of immaturity. Perhaps immaturity is the disease, not validation…

As a burgeoning MGTOW, all I can do is try to avoid a need for validation. Try to not ‘one-up’ people in conversation. Work hard for the sake of working hard… not speak unless what I have to add is valuable to the conversation (yeah right, I know, look at this post here). But in honesty it is hard to break the validation cycle. We all like to feel accomplished and good about ourselves when someone says we did well…

This post is just more seeking of validation, but I do hope it spurs some thought in your mind about validation and your need for it… how to minimize it, etc.

Best advice I can give is this. Remember being a little kid, taking something complicated, tearing it apart to see how it works… and then successfully getting it back together? With no one’s help or acknowledgement? I do… and that is where I need to get back to… putting things together just to know I can… getting things done for myself to understand and know that I can… perhaps that is the key to healthy validation… doing it and validating it for yourself, no one else.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[Anonymous 42]

Validation= narcissism

Selfies are just that, SELFies!

I have never taken a picture of myself to date.

I bet dollars to doughnuts, before technology, women had vulture necks from gazing in the reflection pool!

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Why wold I seek validation from a f~~~ed up world?

The world needs my validation, I’m by no means a saint, but compared to the rest of this s~~~ hole, IM A F~~~ING ANGEL.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[GregB0Participant]

Great post Gerald and excellent synopsis.

I agree that the days of self motivation and validation are over, largely due to the social media/smart phone craze that is upon us. With Kids receiving digital devices at an ever decreasing age, below 5 years of age, it will only get worse.

One’s sense of self worth will continue to be created by friends, acquaintances and even strangers.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

GregB0 wrote:

Great post Gerald and excellent synopsis.

I agree that the days of self motivation and validation are over, largely due to the social media/smart phone craze that is upon us. With Kids receiving digital devices at an ever decreasing age, below 5 years of age, it will only get worse.

One’s sense of self worth will continue to be created by friends, acquaintances and even strangers.

Thissss.

I think we all here agree on that.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[TrailbossParticipant 1844]

Selfies? LoL! They are more like “Lonely’s” A society of people so lonely for attention they are killing themselves to get the perfect “Lonely”!

It’s been said: If one cannot find happiness within themselves, it is *useless* to seek it elsewhere….Especially between a man and a woman.

An educated, armed populace cannot be enslaved.

[Author]

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