Usury and the Under Achiever

[RazParticipant 35]

To the guy that drinks.

Do what you want. Drink up, have fun…
Just know there is a price you may not know you are paying.

You are being used as a tool in more ways than most men, as your blurred focus is being taken advantage of.
If you are like some, you may even be taken advantage of for your reactions to situations.
Situations that are most likely planned specifically to p~~~ed you off or make you fail so that the ever mounting
evidence that you are f~~~ing up piles up higher and higher.

This is done in an effort to keep you off kilter and frustrated at just the right frequency that you
keep on drinking…keep making that choice…she may bitch about it, but she enjoys very much how
it makes manipulating you and hiding things from you all the easier.

I used to lose things; keys, tools, random items. She always found them…I realized later, SHE hid the s~~~ (so I’d go mad looking)
then a couple days or whatever, “oh look, your keys!” she’d find them (to be the hero).

If she’s especially insidious, she’s telling people that care about her that you are ten times worse a drinker,
and telling people that care about you that everything is fine, or manageable…she’s managing, the poor girl.

These women pick addicted husbands because they don’t want the work of manipulating a fully functionaing adult male.
Yes, this means she sees you as a child and as a fool that she can hoodwink over and over.

I don’t care what people do, drink or don’t…
but I think it’s important to let people know what is really going on in many cases,
it certainly was a shock when I realized I was not only being used FOR my dysfunction, but any attempts at quitting were actively sabotaged.
When I finally succeeded, my better health and higher functioning blew the whole charade apart.

That is the best thing I can share about this, I suppose, the health benefits.
I lost 35 pounds just from not drinking, I still eat whatever I want, back to my 20 YO weight in my 40’s.
I can do some things I thought I lost the ability to do and enjoy, and my kids are happier.

Clear head, clear conscious, clear road ahead.

[CataphractParticipant 2656]

Proof that some AWALTs are AWALTier than others.

Marriage: About as appealing as wood-chipper diving.

[bstoffParticipant 4865]

Another great post, dude.
Thanks for contributing.
You’re helping a lot of people.

[Fr JackParticipant 926]

Raz wrote:

I used to lose things; keys, tools, random items. She always found them…I realized later, SHE hid the s~~~ (so I’d go mad looking)
then a couple days or whatever, “oh look, your keys!” she’d find them (to be the hero).

This is called gaslighting, one of the many deliberate tactics of the narcissist.

[Fr JackParticipant 926]

Raz wrote:

If she’s especially insidious, she’s telling people that care about her that you are ten times worse a drinker,
and telling people that care about you that everything is fine, or manageable…she’s managing, the poor girl.

The smear campaign, my wife is saying much worse than that about me.
I am so glad that you have escaped your narcissist, I agree, life is so much calmer and clearer without them.

[JVBParticipant]

Congrats on your sobriety bro. Great post.

Peace is > piece.

[Anonymous 3]

Fantastic! I have known men who got sober & their wives divorced them shortly after, b/c they could no longer control them. Your post is spot on.
You have made clear a situation that I am sure exists for a number of men.
Thank you & Congratulations!

[Anonymous 42]

Raz wrote:

it makes manipulating you and hiding things from you all the easier.

Honey, did you find any money? I lost $160.00 dollars last night, I don’t know where?

I can’t believe it! We needed that money to pay bills!!! Don’t even talk to me!!! YOU ASSHOLE!!!

<conversation to hive member> That’ll teach him! I went through his pants this morning, I do it to him all the time when he doesn’t give me his paycheck before he goes out drinking! He’s in the doghouse this week and I have the money anyway! I learned it from Jenny, she always has money Jim doesn’t know about…

Hey Raz, Welcome to the club! Two Three things in this world that will never touch my lips ever again and that’s alcohol, cigarettes, and women!

[GeraldParticipant 3624]

Kids learn to manipulate this also, where they pit one parent against the other when one drinks… also by blackmailing the drinking parent (Give me xx and I won’t tell mom)

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[AwakenedParticipant 35202]

If THEY can keep ya Drunk, and Stupid, then they can control ya like a potted plant in the corner.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22521]

I smell tuna, or perhaps mangina.

Blame the victim for a system that screwed him over at every turn.

This top by post by you is clearly meant to inflate you ego by shaming men whom are victims of society.

The truth of the term “under achiever” is someone not allowed by society to achieve success.

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

Fr Jack wrote:

Raz wrote:

I used to lose things; keys, tools, random items. She always found them…I realized later, SHE hid the s~~~ (so I’d go mad looking)
then a couple days or whatever, “oh look, your keys!” she’d find them (to be the hero).

This is called gaslighting, one of the many deliberate tactics of the narcissist.

Yep. It was amazing after I moved out I suddenly rarely misplaced stuff anymore.

[RazParticipant 35]

The smell is of a person in transition to fuller potential, I was a complete and total moron until a few years ago.
I’ve done every dumb thing you can imagine, in regards to relationships and women.

The smell is of a man who was mislead from the get go.

When my head cleared a couple years ago, I realized I had to own a lot of the s~~~ty results of my life.
I realized I had been used in this way throughout previous relationships and had
chosen subconsciously not to see it.
I decided to start really digging into where my delusions began, without shame.
Why couldn’t I right my path much earlier? What was this “key” that I felt was missing
from my tool kit all my life?
From a very young age, all I had wanted from life was a nice life with a partner to build a family with.
A family that I would hold together no matter what, that would not blow up in divorce and dysfunction like
mine had growing up.
As I grew into “manhood”, this was my focus when not working, find a good woman.
I really believed they were out there, I just had to find the “one”.

I had no quality male role model. I was raised by my mother. I learned everything from her in regards to how to treat a woman, what they want and that intimacy is sacred and not to be taken lightly.
My mom is a very naive person who raised us with the help of a very cultish, old fashioned christian church.

The result of this is that I went through life with my heart on my sleeve and a target on my front.
The results of this lifestyle never seemed to coalesce into a change of action because I was still believing the delusion, still holding out hope that I just wasn’t finding the right woman.

When I finally dug into things without fear of what I would discover, once I dropped the shame, I was able to ask the right questions of the right people.

thats when the BIGGEST RED PILL landed on my psyche;

My mother told me in the middle of conversation that my father had been very difficult, that there were ups and downs and she couldn’t understand why he treated her so poorly…she tried many things to improve their relationship…
“I had noticed that he’s just nicer when there’s a baby, things are just easier when there is a baby”…so she got pregnant, without telling him she planned me.

So there you have it, I learned everything I need to know about women, from a woman who didn’t even want me, she just wanted to ease her circumstances and possibly change her husband’s behavior.

That’s when IT finally clicked.

Ask me anything, I have no shame.
Its time for MEN to cooperate in regards to this power and legacy and honesty.

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22521]

Raz wrote:

The smell is of a person in transition to fuller potential, I was a complete and total moron until a few years ago.
I’ve done every dumb thing you can imagine, in regards to relationships and women.

If you are sincere you are more than welcome here.

[Author]

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